Weiss Reacts
by ElfCollaborator
Summary: Our loveable heiress reacts to various fanfictions and the tropes within them. Rated T for themes, implications. Some crossover elements in later chapters. Parody, crack, OOCness of certain characters. RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. RnR! Chapter: Here By The Altar! Now with 100% more Pyrrha perspectives!
1. Weiss Reacts to White Rose Lemons

**A/N: Hi, it's Elf again, just posting a little fun fanfic, don't worry about me~ RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, etc, etc, if I owned it Weiss would be a real Tsundere (wait she isn't one already?).**

**A/N 2: Warning, from here on out, OOCness and crack will ensue, as well as fourth-wall breaking of the highest caliber and insanity in general. Do NOT expect this to resemble the show. That is all.**

Weiss Reacts to….White Rose Lemons

"….what the hell is _this?!_" Weiss screeched at the screen. She had decided to take a look at this ' ' Dustnet site or some other; she'd seen it on _someone's _computer, and having seen her fellow teammates perusing the site, she'd decided to take a look at it herself. But this….

The fanfiction she was currently reading was implying….things, between her and her team leader Ruby. By things, she meant intimate relations, and by intimate relations, she meant-

"Ugh! W-Who writes this crap?! W-what is that I-I'm….." The heiress stared in disbelief at the screen as she scrolled down further, unable to completely process what was going on. The story had started out tame enough, with her hooded team leader giving her longing glances- Weiss personally didn't 'swing' that way, by any stretch of the imagination, and if she did, not with Ruby, certainly- but it escalated incredibly quickly.

Weiss thought it was absolute nonsense. Surely nobody would write this kind of story about her, right? What kind of sick, disgusting- "W-what?! That c-can't be….." She stood up, blushing horribly, staring at the screen with a mixture of embarrassment and….was it _desire_? She shook the feeling out of her mind.

"No, Schnee, you don't think like that, even if you DID like her, she's too young for you, and she's too much of an idiot-" Weiss muttered to herself as she slowly shut off the computer and sat on her bunk. This was too much for her to simply let go. No…whoever wrote it needed punishment. Cold, hard, excruciating punishment.

She knew exactly who was at fault here.

* * *

Yang leaned on a tree, enjoying a well-earned snack from the canteen. She was proud of herself; she'd managed, for once, to make herself sit through yet another boring history lecture and now wouldn't have to do it for the rest of the week, as most of the staff were off doing some mission or other. Life would be good for now.

"YAAAANNNNGGG!" Or not. The brawler whirled around to see a very irritated Weiss, huffing. "Oh, hey. What's eati-"

"You know EXACTLY what's 'eating ' me, Xiao Long!" The white-haired girl poked Yang in the stomach. She looked surprised. "Whoa, whoa. What did I do?" "You know EXACTLY what it was. Take that stupid story off now!"

At this, the older girl was confused. "Wait, what story?" Weiss glared up at her, irritated. "You know what one- the one about me and Ruby-"

"Wait, someone wrote a story about you two? What's it about?"

"I- Not important! What's important is that you take it down this instant!"

The brawler shrugged. "I don't even know what it is, how do I take it down?" The heiress harrumphed and dragged- or at least, tried to drag- Yang along.

To bystanders, it appeared more like Weiss clinging on to the older girl's arm, and the older girl looking utterly confused by whatever was going on. Eventually, Yang budged, much to Weiss' relief. "Now come on, explain this!"

* * *

_Ten minutes later…._

Yang sat in the chair, embarrassed and confused. "S-So someone wrote this…" Weiss looked impatient. "About Ruby and myself, yes."

"….And you think I wrote it."

"Yes!"

The blonde brawler sat there for a long moment, before bursting out into laughter. The heiress felt her head boil.

"What, exactly, is so funny about this?!"

"Oh, just the utter denial." Yang smirked.

"Of WHAT?!"

"Oh, the fact that you find my little sister so utterly adorable~"

"W-what? T-that's not the point!"  
"Oh, so you DO like her that way!"

Weiss looked even more annoyed. "NO! Look, Yang, I know you find this hilarious, but please, take this seriously!"

"Well, I'm going to have to. I mean, you want to go out with my sister, right?"

"….Xiao Long, I swear if you don't stop that, I will-" The heiress was interrupted by another burst of laughter from the older girl. She clenched her fists and held down her temper until Yang stopped laughing.

"Oh…oh my dust…that was just…plain hilarious. But, in all seriousness, I didn't write this."

"…." Weiss stared at her.

"I don't know who could have, either. I'll, uh, see you later, then?"

"….sure…" Weiss sighed as Yang walked out of the dorm, snickering.

"Note to self: embarrass the Ice Princess with her completely obvious crush on my sister."

* * *

Weiss lay back on her bed. Yang definitely hadn't written it, she didn't even know what it was about. That left two culprits; Blake and Ruby herself. The heiress decided to find their Faunus teammate first.

"Yes, of course! If Yang didn't write it, then Blake must've! She's probably going to try and get me back for that one time I ate her tuna sandwich by accident." Weiss sighed. "If this is her way of doing so….this is truly immature and immoral and…"

She blushed at the thought of the acts her character had been doing to Ruby. The heiress shook it off.

"I-I'd never do that to her! I-I'm not INTO girls like that!" She ran out of the room, hoping to find Blake.

* * *

"…no."

"Wait, what?" Weiss looked at her.

"I…find it hilarious and stupid that someone wrote something like that about you two, but I didn't write it." Blake shrugged, adjusting her bow.

"But Yang said she didn't, and I don't think Ruby did."

"Well, it definitely wasn't me." She shrugged. Just as she did so, Nora poked her head in, whistling.

"Has anyone seen Ren? I need to talk to him!" Both the heiress and the bookworm shook their heads. Nora sighed.

"Yang said she wanted to talk to him about something. Oh well." With that, Nora walked off, her whistling echoing through the corridor. Blake and Weiss turned to each other the moment she left.

"Do you think-"

"No. Jaune is currently in the infirmary with no access to such devices after injuring himself in training, Pyrrha is there with him taking care of him, and Nora is….well, Nora. I don't believe Ren would do that either."

"So….I suppose it's just Ruby then, right?"

"Why are you so obsessed with finding who wrote the story?" Blake looked at Weiss quizzically.

"Wha- I'm not obsessed! I-I'm just concerned that someone might be w-writing…..s-stories like that about me and posting them on the Dustnet!" The heiress looked offended.

"…IS there something wrong with being supposedly in love with Ruby?"

"What? No!"

"Then I don't see the issue." Blake shrugged. "I've got nothing else to say." She walked off.

"Wait! There…." Weiss sighed irritably.

"Dammit."

* * *

Ruby was sitting on the roof above the dorm building, looking at the sky. The hooded girl had also been recently off an incredibly boring lecture and also wanted to simply take in some fresh air. She had sat there for about five minutes when-

"Ruby! Do you know about this?"

"Huh?" Ruby turned around to see an incredibly flustered Weiss, holding up her viewscreen with the offending fic.

"What's that?"

"That is-j-just read it, you dunce!"

Ruby skimmed through it. Slowly, realization dawned in her mind, and she began to turn redder and redder the further down she looked.

"Is that-" "Yes."

"And am I-" Yes."

"And are you" Yes, yes, yes! Ruby, explain what the hell this is!" The heiress looked impatient. Ruby turned away, and at once, Weiss looked worried.

"H-hey, did I say something wrong? Bah, why am I so worried? You wrote this, didn't you?"

"….no?" Ruby's tone wasn't hurt, in fact, it sounded somewhat shy.

"What-oh, don't tell me he or she was right!"

"…..oh, no….it's just t-that I've never read something that….saucy." Ruby turned around, smirking. Weiss took a step back.

"Wait, what?!"

"….nothing!" Ruby picked up her scythe, that was by the floor where she sat and ran off. "Wait, come back here, you dunce! Wait!"

* * *

After many words were had with the rest of the team, Ruby agreed to never say that again, Yang agreed to never tease Weiss, after much prodding, and Weiss eventually forgot the whole affair.

Ruby, however, seemed to be giving Weiss strange looks now and again, but the heiress never paid them attention.

* * *

Meanwhile….

In a small alcove in the library, Ren looked up from his viewscreen, having uploaded the next chapter in "White Rose: True Love". The gunfighter smirked to himself, a rare show of emotion. He sighed to himself, looking around to make sure that Weiss wasn't around.

"She'll never know."

Nora popped her head in, smiling and cheery as ever. Ren immediately shut off his viewscreen.

"Yes, Nora?"

"Oh, hey! Yang wanted to talk to you about something. Some story or other."

"Oh?"

Inside, the boy smirked mischievously.

**END**

**A/N: Short but fun. This in no way reflects my view on White Rose; I love me them smuts ;p**

**Up next: Weiss Reacts to…..Mary Sues!**


	2. Weiss Reacts to Mary Sues

Weiss Reacts….to Mary Sues!

**A/N: DAMN YOU MIND WHY YOU NO WRITE PERSONA FANFIC D: So instead I bring you the next chapter to Weiss Reacts. RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, enjoy, review, and Microsoft Word hates me now.**

After the fiasco that was last week, Weiss decided to take another look at the website. Having decided that there could be nothing worse than a story doing...that...to her and Ruby, she perused the Dustnet again.

This was her mistake.

* * *

She decided to take a look at this one story she found to be interesting. The title was "the storie of Jon Smit by Beacongurl134".

Shaking her head, she sighed.

"How can someone handle spelling like this? Hm, some dunce, probably. Let's see what they wrote."

She clicked the link and beheld a horror beyond human or Faunus minds.

* * *

a/n: no flamin o nub if you flam liek im just a new riter so live me alon ;( o n review or no mor chpters

chpter 1

one day der was liek, totes, dis gai clled John Smith, wuz wadering aorund nd bing coll, n he wuz a half-funus becuz his mum wz a huntres an hs dady wuz a dragon (lol so orignl rite) so he wuz half-funus and totes hawt liek omg

so 1 day he was wlking around beacon whn he ran ito dis little gurl, clled rose or something (i dnt know, dnt care LOL) n she was totes n luv wit him she sad "omg u so hawt wll u go out wit me John" n John sad "no" and wlked of an off curse rsoe wus sad so she wnt of nd crid to hr sis or somthing

den he saw dis btichy gilr caledl Weiss Schnee n wnt up ot hre n told hr "hy, gurl, y u so mena" an she wnt "no im not, suht up u dnuce" n den-"

* * *

The resulting scream of irritation attracted Ruby to the dorm, clutching a cookie.

"Weiss! What's going on-"

"W-what is this?! What the hell am I reading?!" The heiress stared in horror and anger at the screen.

"H-he can't say I'm a bitch! H-he can't even SPELL bitch! What the hell?!" Weiss was shouting. Ruby sighed and slowly went towards her.

"Now...Weiss...let's calm down. Slowly..." Ruby uttered in a soft tone.

She whispered to herself, "Even though you're so cute when you do that~"

"WHAT WAS THAT, ROSE?!"

"Uh, nothing!" Ruby twiddled her fingers. Weiss sighed and looked at the screen, shaking her head.

"J-Just read this! H-how can someone write t-this crap?!" The hooded girl, knowing there was no placating the heiress in this mood, decided to simply read it.

* * *

n fter he bet teh rven grim thgin or someatgn, roes and Weiss Schnee want pu to imh an aksed imh otu

he siad "wel, Weiss Schnee, ur a btich" an Weiss Schnee sida "i kno btu im sory plz go otu wit me nd reos" and rose (still dont remeber her name LOL) noded, sying "yah totes plz lets go uto"

n John sid yes nd dey wnt otu an hd secks, leik, totally hawt stemy-

* * *

Ruby blushed at the screen, as did Weiss. They both read a very bad -and bland- description of...intimate acts, between them and this 'John' person or some other. Needless to say, it was very...off-putting, the other weird thing being the ease of how they were won over by this character.

"Did we..."

"Uhuh..."

"And did he..."

"Mhm."

"Why are we reading this..."

"I don't know, Weiss. I don't know."

They read on, hypnotized by the farce.

* * *

wen ozpni shod pu he loked at John an siad "dis man is de chsoen one he wll fere de woldr form girmm" an hnded ihm a sord "tkae dis thsi ws ur fatrers sord Excalibur" an John noddded "ys fro my fathser i wll klli al grim"

an he tnrued to blaek an stbed hre an said "dai gram" an seh saidea "fien" an died an vrybody hd a prty bcuase bleka wus evol scritly (no rlation to blake irl lol)

* * *

"..." Blake stared at the screen.

"That's what I said." Weiss shook her head. "Any ideas who wrote it?" Ruby chimed in. The black-haired girl shrugged. "Well, probably not Yang. I've been busy with her all afternoon."

From the courtyard emerged an ungodly sound of eldritch screaming and moaning, followed by Yang's "It's okay, Professor, I've got it!". Ruby, Weiss and Blake decided wisely not to investigate.

"Mind if I scroll down? I've seen these kinds of fics before."

"Really?" The heiress raised an eyebrow.

Blake nodded. "Sadly."

"Well, then we'd better find out what happens at the end of this story or something. This is just..."

"Terrible?"

"A mistake?"

"Stupid?"

"...all of those. Quit stealing my words, dunce." Weiss shot Ruby a glare and she chuckled.

"Whoever wrote this hates me for some odd reason." Blake shrugged and took a seat on the bed behind Weiss and Ruby.

* * *

nd Weiss Schnee ws grbbed by da griam an John sai "no u dnt nt my gurl" (he so badas lol) an he jmped an ctu has hnd of nd Weiss Schnee fel on eth flor an statred dying nd John sid "u bstard" and tuk out His dual pistols called Leos and Lupis, n wun of dem ws a gunblade (not from FF6 lol original ida dont steal) n he shoot tde gramie an he die n he go ta Weiss Schnee an sdia "no gurl dnt die on me" and sh-

* * *

At this point, Weiss had to be physically restrained by Ruby and Blake to not utterly lose her temper. Nora was poking her head in through the top of their window, confused.

"IS THIS PERSON MAD?! WHEN I FIND OUT WHO DID THIS I'M GOING TO KILL THEM! HOW DARE THEY REDUCE ME TO SOME DAMSEL?!" The heiress began to mumble in garbled words, trying to calm herself down, until Ruby decided to give her a hug.

"It's okay, calm down."

"Okay? OKAY?! Why I ought-"

"It's just a story, Weiss." Blake sighed. "You don't need to get so worked up about it."

"B-but..."

"Besides...this John person sounds so utterly stupid." Ruby snickered.

"I mean, he's half-Faunus, with a dragon dad, carrying weapons that are somehow better than mine and he manages to make us fall in love with him that quick? That's not something serious, that's just hilarious!"  
Blake nodded. "I agree with Ruby. This is nothing to get worked up over."

"I-I..." The white-haired girl looked from the snickering Ruby to the calm Blake and took some deep breaths. "...fine."

"You see? That wasn't so hard!" Ruby smiled.

She thought to herself "And she was so cute while being angry~ Oh my god Weiss why are you so cute~"

Weiss shook her head before turning to the viewscreen.

"Well...I might as well finish this."

Swallowing her pride and her anger, she scrolled down the page.

* * *

t lst, whn evil blake n hr evli grma leigons wre betten, Weiss Schnee loked at John nd said "o my dust ur so awsome" an John wen "oh i kno my luv" n dey kised btu den John puled awy form th mst rmantic kis ever and Weiss Schnee wa woried "dear whts wrng"

"wle snw angl i hve to go my time on rmenat is up" an he colasped in is girls arms an sha said "nooooo"

end

raview an i migt updtae to make john live :) plz i liek weis n john together thyre liek perf fro ech odder

* * *

The heiress decided to leave one review.

-From: TheRealIcePrincess

Please, learn how to spell, and seriously, Weiss would NEVER go for someone that quickly. Her character just isn't set up for it. And yours is too perfect; nobody can actually fight like that, even Hunters can't. I've never read such crap in my life.

Weiss, out.

* * *

After shutting off her computer...

"...never in all of my life have I read such...nonsense." Weiss shook her head. Blake shrugged. "At least it wasn't that bad. You could have read that-"

"Don't you DARE mention that, Belladonna."

"...I was going to say that story about Jaune making everyone fall in love with him. That one was even worse."

"I-I don't think so!" The heiress responded a little too quickly. Blake stared at her.

"Uh..."

Ruby looked between the two.

"Um, guys. I think Professor Port's in trouble." She pointed out of the window, where the Professor was being chased by a tentacled...thing, being chased by Yang, who seemed to be muttering "Sorry" at a speed even faster than Ruby could run.

"Oh Dust. Not again!"

* * *

Ren looked up from his viewscreen, smirking. He had recently looked at "teh storie of John Smith" and was trying to keep himself from laughing.

"My Dust... this was absolute GENIUS." Nora poked her head in from next to him. "I know! I mean, it's the perfect parody!" Ren nodded. "The idea, the execution, the mere dedication...my work's got all of that.

But this..." He sighed wistfully.

"If only I could've written it..."

"Oh Ren~ You totally could! My only suggestion is that it needs more leg breaking! And Ursa riding. But mainly leg breaking!" She giggled. Ren sighed.

"Yeah...more leg breaking..."

* * *

Meanwhile...elsewhere in Beacon...

Velvet looked up shyly from her viewscreen, having looked at the views of her fanfic. She smiled.

"O-oh...t-this'll be fun."

She pored over the long, loving passages of her hard work about John Smith and his love affair with the cold, distant, beautiful Weiss Schnee, and how their romance wasn't meant to be, and how Blake had tried to steal John's place as rightful Faunus badass of the school.

She pored over them with a smile on her face, in her mind replacing John with herself.

"Maybe I should tell the fans that I'm supposed to be John. Ooh, wait, maybe I should add Cardin in here! He should totally fall in love with m-I mean, John!" She giggled crazily to herself.

The sound of quick and fast typing filled the air as Velvet Scarlatina wrote the next chapter to "the storie of John Smith", before she decided to check the stats again.

"Oh, my first review! I wonder what it's about?"

END

* * *

**A/N: Ren, eat your heart out. Also, have some White Rose tease. And some JaunexWeiss tease. Anyway, read, review and I hope you enjoyed this one.**


	3. Special Chapter 1: RWBY Trailers Part 1!

Special Chapter: Ruby and Weiss react to RWBY Trailers!

**A/N: Lemme just clear up something about last chapter: Velvet DOES NOT like Cardin in that way, she just wants to humiliate him; how better than make him fall in love with h- I mean John Smith? Sorry for the misinterpretation *elf smacks self***

**A/N 2: Had a random idea about team RWBY reacting to their pre-series trailers and how it would seem to them. I'll set this chapter out in two parts; part one will contain Ruby and Weiss' reactions to their respective trailers, and the other will contain Yang and Blake. Simple, no? Don't worry, the next conventional chapter is coming soon, but in the meantime, read, enjoy and review!**

**Disclaimer: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. If I owned them, Blake would be the main character ;P**

_Ruby Reacts to the Red Trailer!_

* * *

One lazy weekend afternoon, Ruby decided that she'd be checking out this Dustnet site Nora had been addicted to for a while; U-Tube or something, she remembered. The hyperactive girl had absolutely gushed about it, saying that it had so much good videos and songs, and Ruby, not wanting to disappoint her, decided to check it out. After making an account and setting up her channel, the young girl began her travels into the Dustnet.

"Hm...what's so good about this site? I don't really see the point...the concept's cool and all...wait..." The silver-eyed girl briefly paused the cursor over a video labelled 'Nyan Cat'.

"What's this? Is this...aww! So cute!"

After spending several minutes watching a poptart cat fart rainbows, Ruby was hooked.

* * *

Ruby spent the next couple of hours browsing the site, watching silly videos. Much giggles were to be had and she couldn't help it...untill...

"Hm?" She'd noticed one particular video in the corner, "RWBY Red Trailer". "Wait...RWBY? Isn't that my team? That's...odd. I'd better check this out." Curiously, the girl began to watch it.

* * *

"Ok...so apparently there's some company called Rooster Teeth...making a series about us...odd...

And who's this Monty Oum person?"

* * *

Somewhere in Beacon, Ren sneezed.

"Did someone mention me?"

Jaune shrugged. "Don't think so."

"You're probably right. It felt weird, though."

"Quiet! We're trying to make that Ruby story, remember?"

"Oh, right that-"

"Shh, Weiss might hear!"

Indeed, the pair were straight outside team RWBY's dorm's door.

* * *

"Wait, who's grave's th-oh..." Ruby looked sad for a moment. She shook her head; the memory wasn't as raw as it seemed, but it was there. "Okay...odd..."

"Hm...oh, wait, is that me? I look...weird." Ruby frowned as she saw herself walk out of the forest. "The music's cool, though. Who's singing it?"

"Wait...are those Beowolves? They look weird too... wait what they're leaping on me?!" Ruby's eyes widened, before...

"Oh Crescent Rose~ I love you so~ I look so awesome~" Ruby looked at the screen, amazed at the quality of the video, as well as somewhat entranced by her own awesomeness. "Wait, what is that I'm putting in-sweet mother of Dust that stuff's amazing! And I STILL look awesome~"

* * *

At the silhouette screen, Ruby murmured in approval. "Okay, so I'm the red one...clearly Weiss is the white one, judging by the cute little ponytail, Yang's the yellow one- her hair's clear as day, and Blake must be the last one; her cat ears are too hard to mistake for everyone else."

"I have GOT to show Weiss these! They're amaaaazing! Like, seriously. Whoever this Monty Oum-"

* * *

Ren sneezed again.

"I swear, someone keeps-"

"Shut it, Ren! Weiss'll hear us!"

* * *

"-guy is, he made me look totally badass!" Ruby gushed her praises by leaving a comment on the video.

* * *

**-DaRougeLittleFightingHood**

totes loved that vid, will watch rest of series, o and by the way, i'm never that serious, hope to see more from you

-from ruby rose with love

* * *

Having left her thoughts on it, Ruby decided to scribble down some stuff in her to-do list.

Firstly, find the filmmaker and thank him in person. Secondly, replicate those bullets, whatever they were. Thirdly, watch the White trailer; Weiss was probably as adorable – and badass- as ever in them.

Then her stomach rumbled.  
"Oh...hm." She frowned. "I'd better go grab some snacks." The silver-eyed girl stood up and ran off to grab some cookies, nearly stepping on Jaune, who she hadn't noticed- and didn't notice- on her way out of the dorm.

"Ow! Ruby-"

"Shut it, Jaune, Weiss'll hear!" Ren whispered with a smirk.

* * *

Meanwhile, the bathroom door opened and Weiss emerged, wrapped in a towel, her normally tied hair let loose in a veil behind her head, sighed.

"Dammit, Yang! You HAD to use all the shampoo, didn't you?" She muttered irritably. "Damn girl's obsession with hair...", she said as she groomed hers to perfection. After making herself decent, she looked around the dorm, looking for her dunce of a leader.

"Ruby? Ruby? I need to talk to you abo-oh, hang on, what's this?"

Weiss had spotted the open browser window.

"What was she looking at?"

END OF FIRST HALF

* * *

_Weiss Reacts to the White Trailer!_

* * *

"Okay...what's that dunce been doing?" She sat down at the computer, looking at it. "Right...wait, RWBY trailers? Is that...me?" She hastily clicked on the White Trailer. All the while, she thought to herself...

"What am I doing…...the Dustnet's been nothing but a pain...bah. Can't be any harm to look at this...after all, it isn't a dreadful story...implying or containing such...indecent events...right?" Her train of thought was interrupted by the video starting.

* * *

"Everyone is entitled to their own sorrow...okay...profound, point taken." Weiss nodded in agreement.

..."Is that me? Oh, am I about to sing?" She tilted her head. "Funny...I never was a good singer..."

* * *

Here, for once, Weiss was being modest about herself. The heiress had been declared the best singer in all of Beacon Academy, had won several singing competitions in her home region, and even had several medals to show for it; not that she'd ever show anyone, but Ruby HAD snuck a peek at them...oh, and of course, Ruby recorded her singing once, at night, when she decided to sneak out to the rooftop.

The crimson-haired girl was struck dumb by her elegance while doing so. Not that she wouldn't be.

* * *

"That doesn't SOUND like me..."She frowned. "...must be dubbed or something. Well, whoever's singing's quite good at it."

..."Oh, wait what?! A giant knig-crap, it's attacking me! Yes, take that, you brute! And that! And that!" The heiress cheered on her onscreen self, who pressed on the assault, her face a mask of determination.

"I'm still confused as to why some-wait, what, it punched me! WHAT THE HELL?! MY FACE!" Weiss touched the scar under her eye; she'd gained it from a fencing accident where her sparring partner had aimed just a little high. It hurt, granted, but it wasn't as bad.

And it wasn't induced by being punched in the face by a giant knight either.

"Take that! En garde! I'm always one step ahead!"

"Ohoh...kukukukuku." She smiled smugly. "Now it's over for you."

"Wait...I was still singing about...wait, CRAP." Weiss looked around hastily. Was Blake, Ruby, or Dust forbid, _Yang_, watching her...suffice to say, undignified reactions? Fortunately, none of them were around.

"Phew...that's...good, I suppose." She wiped the sweat from her brow, still slightly nervous. "Okay...well. That was...interesting." Weiss decided to leave a comment.

* * *

**-TheRealIcePrincess:**

I commend you for your efforts of portraying me on film. However, I must correct you on several things;

-That is not my voice. Granted, the singer is excellent, but I don't sound like that.

-The scar on my face was gained from a sparring accident, nothing so serious as that knight.

**-I DONT SING LIKE THAT**

Otherwise, congratulations. I hope to see more of your work.

-Weiss Schnee

* * *

She gave the video a thumbs up.

"Well then...wait."

She looked at the ending screen. "So...there's more of these trailers. Yang and Blake would probably want to see these...Ruby's most likely seen hers.

Made by a Monty Oum, as well. Hm. The name does sound familiar..."

* * *

"WHO KEEPS TALKING ABOUT ME-" At this point, Jaune had to put his hand over Ren's mouth to keep him quiet. The other hand was keeping the door slightly open.

* * *

Weiss looked over at the door, confused.

"Huh?" She shook her head. "Probably nothing. But...the name is somewhat familiar. Hm. I will want to talk with this person. His version of myself is fairly...accurate but somewhat inaccurate at the same time. The video was a bit off, perhaps..."

She whispered to herself. "Not that it doesn't have its merits..." She surreptitiously wrote down the URL on her palm. She planned to watch it again later. For now, though, studying!

The heiress stood up and walked to the study table, scribbling.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jaune looked in, having seen Weiss react to the trailers.

"So...that's how the snow angel acts when alone." He smirked, while Ren smacked him on the back of the head.

"NEVER do that again, Arc. But...I say we could run with this."  
"Yeah! We could do a whole story about this thing, and...oh crap."  
"What?"

"It's Blake!"

"Crap!" With that, the two boys immediately disappeared into their room just as Blake rounded the corner.

"Hm?" She looked around suspiciously.

"That was...odd. I thought I heard something."

* * *

The black-haired girl walked in to see Weiss studying and the open computer. The heiress gave her a little nod to acknowledge her presence, and Blake nodded back.

The browser window's contents interested Blake, of course. On it, she saw the words "RWBY Black Trailer". She raised an eyebrow.

"What's this?"

** TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

**A/N: Not much of me taking the piss out of RWBY as much as me thanking them. Congrats to Monty Oum and the staff at Rooster Teeth for making such an excellent series.**

**A/N 2: Muahahahaha. I'm so evil~ Well then. The continuation of this chapter'll come eventually...I hope you enjoyed it. Leave your reviews here!**


	4. Weiss Reacts to JauneXWeiss

Weiss Reacts...to JaunexWeiss!

**A/N: Yes, kids. I finally hauled my backside out of my slump and wrote this! Woo! A shout out to foxtrot B-12 for suggesting the main plot of this section! Don't worry, not a complete rip-off...**

**To sort out some chronological issues, this takes place after the Mary Sue chapter but before RWBY Trailers. Have fun reading, leave your thoughts and reviews.**

**Disclaimer: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Ren would be even more comically serious (he isn't already?).**

* * *

"YANG! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"

Oh dear. Weiss was at it again, was she?  
"YANG! EXPLAIN!"

Ruby roused herself blearily from the nap she'd decided to take- unwisely, this was RWBY dorm, of course it was unwise- to see her white-haired, adorably angry, rapier-wielding teammate storm up and down looking for Yang. Just as the silver-eyed girl decided to pull herself up, she finally found herself staring deep into Weiss' deep, blue eyes.

Those deep, blue, beautiful, distracting-

"Ruby, where's Yang?"

..."h-huh?" Ruby snapped out of her trance.

"I said where's Yang?" Weiss was clearly irritated, but calming down. "I want her to explain THIS." The heiress gestured to the computer viewscreen, where a story was lying open on the browser.

"Weiss...we talked about this. I thought we could-"

"It's about me and Jaune."

"WHAT?!" The crimson-haired girl immediately sprung into the chair, reading the story.

* * *

_ Jaune swept Weiss into his strong arms, rippling with muscle. The golden-haired boy stared deep into her azure, reflective orbs, his own quivering with desire. He uttered to her, fighting the urge of his emotions to let loose._

_"Weiss...t-there's something I-I'd..." The boy was silenced by the white-haired girl taking him into a kiss with passion unrivalled. Jaune was initially surprised, but he shut his eyes and held the girl closer as-_

* * *

"...w-wait, hang on. I-Isn't it a bit too quick to blame Yang here?" Ruby inquired. Weiss, with her arms crossed, tapped her foot and pointed at the screen.

"Scroll down."

Ruby obliged, and the very end of the page credited the story to "BlondBombshell" with a winking emoticon next to it. She sighed.

"...that isn't Yang, you realise, right?"  
"What? How?" Weiss looked confused. 'Dammit, Schnee, why do you look so cute when you're like that~' Ruby wondered, before answering. "That isn't her handle. I know it."

"Okay...so what are you implying?"

"Jaune wrote it."

"...he's a dead man. ARC! COME HERE!" Before Ruby could respond, Weiss stormed out, Myrtenaster drawn.

"Oh Dust..." The silver-eyed girl shook her head. Blake poked her head in from her bunk, her cat ears exposed and her bow hanging loosely from her hand. A book- not Ninjas of Love, surprisingly- was in the other one. She chimed in.

"Um...was that another story someone wrote?"

"Yeah..."Ruby rubbed the back of her head. "I made Weiss think Jaune wrote it...I feel sorry for him. Should we try to stop her?"

"Before Weiss freezes him to death? Yes."

"...wait, where's Yang, anyway?"

* * *

Yang was in the school forges, tinkering with her Ember Celica gauntlets. She sneezed.

"Wha-did someone call my name?"

Nora shrugged. She had just finished attaching yet another grenade launcher to what she called 'Magnhild Junior'. Whatever_ it_ was, Yang knew it wasn't ...safe for her hair to be anywhere near it.

"Nope!~"

"Uh...is that..."  
"It's perfectly safe!" The cheery girl smiled toothily.

* * *

Ruby sighed. "I suppose we better get going."

"I don't know what happened to get her that mad anyway."  
"Yeah, what happened?"

* * *

_Ten minutes earlier..._

Weiss was going around her normal business, browsing the Dustnet. By now, she had established herself as TheRealIcePrincess in various corners of the web; much to her dismay, Ruby, under the title DaRougeFightingHood, had followed her constantly.

However, that wasn't the matter at hand.

No, it was the farce she was reading.

"J-just what the hell is this?"

Having yet to learn her lessons from three such incidents, Weiss had decided to open a story called "Platinum and Gold", describing her and Jaune in the opening blurb. The heiress had thought it harmless.

However, it wasn't. The heiress, as she read through, managed to pick up several...indecent incidents in the story, all to do with her and the blond idiot. She shook her head.

"W-Who would write this?" She continued to read carefully.

At one such passage, she blushed. In it, she was particularly...docile. Submissive.

Not _Weiss._

"W-what?! I-I would NEVER let...what?! With THAT dunce?! I have to see how this ends!" She scrolled down furiously, and...

Well, suffice to say, the story ended with a very sappy, romantic montage of her and Jaune. At this, the girl was furious.

"...WHAT?! I WOULD NEVER DATE THAT DUNCE! LET ALONE HAVE...YOU KNOW, WITH HIM! WHO-"

She spotted the words "BlondBombshell" as the author.

"...YANG XIAO LONG. WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!" The girl stormed around the dorm, looking for the blonde brawler.

As it happened, Blake hid her head under a pillow, hoping not to be spotted.

* * *

"...Blake...are you remembering something?"

"W-what? No!"

"Oh." Ruby looked confused. "Shall we go?"

"Indeed."

The pair set out from the dorm, hoping to reach Jaune before Weiss ended him.

* * *

Jaune was eating in the cafeteria- or rather, drinking a rather solid shake. The boy had been put on a regime of protein shakes and bars by his 'friend', Pyrrha. He was being bulked up and trained to fight for the past couple of weeks, and he felt good about it. Very good.

"Soon, all the ladies will love me~" He smiled to himself. "Especially the jewel of Beacon, the snow angel herself, Weiss...oh, when she sees me like this..." He flexed his right arm; it wasn't particularly muscular. "Why, she'll just fall right into my arms! Why, there she is now!"

The heiress had arrived, and it seemed as if the temperature in the room went down. Not only that, but the ground at her feet had seemingly frozen over.

"Have any of you seen Jaune Arc? I need to talk to him. _NOW_."

"Hey, snow ang-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence before Weiss, despite Jaune towering over her, with a quivering finger pointing at him, began to rant.

"Arc! Do you have any idea what you did?"

"Uh-"

"Like, did you even THINK about how I would find that story?"

"Wha-"

"Seriously, I know that you like me, but seriously, that was just creepy!"

"Wai-"

"Oh, quit trying to interrupt me, Arc! I'm just going to have to punish you as you deserve!"  
"WAIT! A-" Too late.

* * *

The screams were heard throughout the school halls. Blake and Ruby turned their heads towards it.

"Weiss?"  
"Weiss."

They ran towards the cafeteria.

* * *

When they arrived, the cafeteria was standing in a circle around Jaune Arc, who was in a poor condition.

The poor boy was clutching his groin tightly; a light circle of frost seemed to form under him. Tears were forming in his eyes, and his face was puckered in pain.

"Ow..."

"Jaune! What happened?!"

"W-Weiss...s-she kicked me...ow..."

Blake crouched by him. "Did she mention a story?"

"Ow...yes..." He nodded slowly.

"Crap." Ruby looked to Blake.

"We're getting him to the infirmary to get that looked at first. Then we show him."

* * *

After the trio went to the infirmary- thankfully for the young man, his gonads were safe and not in need of treatment, and neither was he- Blake, Ruby and Jaune sat outside, discussing what had happened.

"Wait...so she got that mad over a story?"

"Yes."

"And...I got kicked in the nuts because..."

"She thinks you wrote it." Ruby said in between cookies. "Cookie?"

"No, thanks. So...what's this story about?"

Blake produced a small viewscreen, bringing up the story on it. Jaune read it carefully...before snickering.

"Huh? What's so funny?"

"She really thinks I can write this well?"

"Huh?!" The black-haired girl and the crimsonette looked at each other, confused.

Jaune smiled. "Of course I couldn't write this! This is too good!"

"...what." Blake looked at him, utterly confused.  
"The description is just right-"

* * *

"HOW THE HELL?! HOW ARE EYES ORBS?! HOW IS MY HAIR A CURTAIN?! HOW AM I_ LOVESTRUCK_?!"

* * *

"-the plot is good-"

* * *

"I would NEVER fall in love that quickly! Not even if he saved me! And I knew him in there for what, two days?!"

* * *

"-I can see the pairing happening-"

* * *

"...does this person really think I like him?" Weiss stopped herself there. Something about that sentence seemed off.

* * *

"So...yeah." Jaune shrugged. Ruby sighed, standing up.

"I...uh...Blake, will you just hang on for a second, I'll just go find Weiss, okay?"

She ran off.

* * *

She found Weiss, on the roof, sighing.

"...I'm guessing you found Arc, right?"

"Weiss...there's no need to be-"

"Of course I'm angry! This author was clearly unprofessional, the story was unrealistic and terrible-"

"God she's cute when she's-"

"Ruby?" Weiss stared at her.

"Huh? I didn't say anything. Carry on."

"Oh...it was terrible, just...everything about it was off!"

"...are you sure it wasn't because it was pairing you with Jaune?"

"What?!" A light dusting of pink covered the heiress' cheeks. "No!"

"You seem...quite in denial about it."

"...I swear, Rose, if you turn out like your sister, I will kill you myself."

"Sorry!" Ruby raised her hands in defeat. "Look...I'm just saying that maybe you overreacted to Jaune. He didn't write it, and I don't think my sister did."

Weiss sighed. "I...I suppose I've been fairly unreasonable about it."

"...really?"

"Hm?"  
"That quick? You're not going to shout at me? Or blame Jaune?"

"...no? I...I've had time to think and maybe that wasn't...the right thing to do." Weiss nodded. "Yes...that's it."

"Oh. Well then." Ruby stood around awkwardly.  
"Um. Where is Jaune?"

"...in the infirmary."

"Oh...I suppose I'd better apologise to him, right?" Weiss said it slowly, struggling a bit with the word 'apologise'.

"Yes...?"

With a curt nod, Weiss walked in. Ruby sighed.

"She's so cute when she's embarrassed to apologise~"

* * *

Jaune was busy talking to Blake when he spied the heiress approaching. Assuming a kneeling pose, he looked at her pleadingly.

"Please, Weiss, if I did anything to hurt you, I'm sorry, please, don't kick me in the nads aga-"

"I won't."

"-in, please, please...wait what?" Jaune looked at her questioningly, as did Blake.

"...maybe I was a bit out of order, doing that." Weiss nodded.

"And maybe, just maybe, I was a bit...unjustified...in...hurting you, like that. So..."She swallowed.

"I-I've come to say I'm sorry." Before she could finish, Jaune stood up.

"I...I suppose I accept. Hug?" He opened his arms. Weiss sighed.

"...I suppose." She walked in and awkwardly reciprocated.

"So, does this mean that-"

"Don't push your luck, Arc."

"...ok, ok, too soon, I get it." Jaune reluctantly backed off.

Blake smirked.

* * *

_Later, in the deep of night..._

Her white pajamas reflecting the light off the screen, Weiss quietly added the story to her 'Favourites' list, smiling to herself. She looked around cautiously for any sign of the blonde brawler, or any hidden cameras or gimmicks or anything she might try to spring onto her.

Nothing. Thank Dust. She sighed in relief.

"...Yang can never find out..." She muttered. "Xiao Long would never let it go." With a small sigh, she closed the browser, her mission completed.

"...maybe that story...wasn't so unrealistic after all." She blushed slightly.

"Wait, what am I saying? This is JAUNE ARC I'm talking about. Totally not happening.

The chances of it are even less than me and Ruby!"

* * *

In her sleep, Ruby sneezed cutely. She blushed unconsciously.

* * *

Weiss went to sleep, satisfied. She may not have found who did it, but at least she hadn't hurt anyone she cared about too badly.

* * *

_Last night..._

Yang stood in the dark dorm, her dirty deed done. The story had been uploaded upon her alt, "BlondBombshell"; she knew Ruby would know that "LittleSunDragonSempai" was her name and tell on her, hence the need for an alt.

She stood in front of a turned chair.

"It's done. You owe me."

"How much was it again?" The occupant of the chair raised their arm lazily.

"...500 lien. And you're doing all my homework for the next week."

"The bet was worth it, was it not?"

"...to see her re-dammit!"

"What?"

"...I'm in Forging all of tomorrow. Send me a video of her rampage, kay?"

The occupant turned around, revealing themselves to be...

Blake Belladonna, with a smirk on her face.

"Done."

* * *

_Tonight..._

Blake smirked, holding her viewscreen and watching Weiss' reaction to the story.

"All in a day's work."

...

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Blake, you sneaky girl. Thanks for reading!**

**The next chapter will be the one you may or may NOT be waiting for...Blake and Yang React to RWBY Trailers! Send your suggestions, reviews, thoughts, criticism, and all else in the reviews! Thanks, and have a great day!**


	5. Special Chapter 1: RWBY Trailers Part 2!

Special Chapter: Blake and Yang React to RWBY Trailers!

**A/N: So, right. The chapter those of you who've been following this fic may or may not been waiting for, Blake and Yang's reactions to their trailers! Woo! Yeah, fanfic!**

**Disclaimer: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Jaune would be a girl.**

* * *

_Last time, on RWBY Trailers..._

_"What's this?"_

_"Wait...RWBY?"_

_"Did someone mention me?"_

_"They're amaaaazing!"_

_"Dammit Yang!"_

_"WHAT THE HELL?! MY FACE?!"_

_"I DONT SING LIKE THAT"  
"WHO KEEPS TALKING ABOUT ME-"_

_..."What's this?"_

* * *

_Blake Reacts to the Black Trailer_

"I said, what's this, Weiss?" Blake repeated. Weiss looked at the screen, nodding. "That would be...um...how do I explain this?

Basically, some company called Rooster Teeth decided to make...er...videos of us. Or rather, had a guy called Monty-"

* * *

Ren managed to suppress his sneeze this one time. He sighed.

"...Jaune, I think I have a cold."

"Um...why?"

"I've sneezed repeatedly in the last couple of minutes. Either that or someone's been talking about me...repeatedly."

"I don't see why. I mean, Nora's taking a nap?"

"I suppose."

In actual fact, Nora was behind them.

She was taking more pictures of...Ren's sloth backpack she'd forced him to wear.

It was adorable.

* * *

"- Oum, I think? And they, I would say, would be quite...decent representations of us in video." The heiress, of course, had favourited, bookmarked and did everything she could to keep the video accessible easily.

"I see. I suppose the Black Trailer's mine then."

"I...think so."

The black-haired girl nodded, sitting down at Ruby's computer and bringing up the video.

* * *

"Alright, so I'm wait-wait."

"What?" Weiss tilted her head.

"That...is that me robbing a Schnee train?"

"...I think...you robbed my family's trains?!" The heiress glared at her.

"What?! No!" Blake looked offended. "I never did that...n-not even in the d-dark days..." She was referring, of course, to her time in the White Fang. Weiss shrugged.

"Um...fine." Blake resumed watching the video. "Ok...I love the piano piece."

"I agree."

"Hm...wait...Adam's in this?"

"Who?"

Blake blushed slightly. "Uh...someone you don't need to know." She paused the video. "By the way...don't tell Yang about this, right?"

"Um...okaaay. I'll just leave you to it." The heiress took her revision book and walked off, shaking her head. When she was out of earshot, Blake sighed in relief.

"...that was one time. ONE TIME.

I hate him so much."

She then proceeded to continue watching.

* * *

...she stared in disbelief at the screen.

"What." Blake's eyes were wide, and she did not believe what she'd just seen.

"...I KICK MORE ASS THAN THAT DAMN BULL FAUNUS. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS. WHO THE HELL MADE THIS FILM? I AM GOING TO KICK THEIR DUST-FORSAKEN ASSES!

AND THE VOICES WERE BAD TOO! I DON'T SOUND THAT HIGH-PITCHED! AND ADAM SOUNDS EVEN WIMPIER THAN THAT!"

* * *

Ren, Jaune, and Nora cringed. The pair of boys shuddered. They had all heard a very loud, aggravated shouting from RWBY dorm.

"Was that...Weiss?"

"I think so. I-I think we'd better run. A-after last week..." Jaune instinctively covered his groin.

"...you're right. I'm with you." The pair ran off in the opposite direction from RWBY dorm and JNPR dorm...

...leaving poor Nora in the dust.

"Ren? Wait! I was taking pictures of your backpack! Nooooo~" She proceeded to walk after them. On the ceiling.

Don't ask anyone how.

* * *

Somewhere in Vytal, Adam wept.

* * *

Blake was...seething, to say the least. No words were said in her rage about being rendered the second to her erstwhile comrade-

"OK NO. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M DOWNVOTING THIS SHIT."

* * *

**-BeautifulNinjaCatgirl**

This video is not of the quality I expected it to be, after such high praise of it. I expected a truly realistic masterpiece, and I got a merely mediocre trailer. While I am not telling you to never create a film again, I am going to request that next time, you take a moment to research these characters in order to make them a fair bit more real to life.

Signed, B. Belladonna.

PS: Adam was a wimp.

* * *

Blake then proceeded to spam the thumbs down button. Hard. As many times as she thought it needed.

Which was a lot.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK-"

* * *

Shortly after, the cat Faunus had finally calmed down sufficiently to look at the situation logically.

"...alright. So...I have to calm myself down. That was very...awkward...of myself. Right." She breathed deeply, calming herself down.

"Clearly this filmmaker was...mistaken...about the role of Adam in our relationship. Nonetheless...I have no reason to be enraged at him...oh screw it." She flipped off the screen.

"I'll go get some tuna. And a milkshake. And possibly find Yang. I think I need to...calm down a bit." With that, the black-haired girl walked out, with the intention of tricking the blonde brawler into giving her a hug while she snacked on tuna and milkshakes.

Blake loved Yang's hugs. They were warm.

* * *

_Ten minutes later..._

"Ugh! It's messed up my perfect hair!" Yang walked in, her once perfect curtain of blonde hair now dusted with a layer of black soot.

"Who...WHO had the bright idea of opening a portal to the unknown up?!"

* * *

Professor Port ran around screaming. A giant...tentacle was chasing him.

"SOMEBODY HELP ME OH DUST NO PLEASE"

Cardin sprinted after him, sword at the ready. "Don't worry sir! I THINK I can handle this!" He was grabbed from behind by another tentacle from the beast.

"OH DUST HELP ME"

* * *

"Whoever it was, I hope they suffer. My perfect hair..." She whimpered. She then proceeded to go into the shower to try to-

"WE'RE OUT OF SHAMPOO"

The fury in Yang's eyes was visible, and her screaming loud.

* * *

...shortly after the entire dorm- except for Ruby's computer desk, strangely- was annihilated utterly in the brawler's search for a bottle of hair care product, the blonde girl slumped dejectedly in the only remaining desk chair.

"...it's no use...my perfect hair's...r-ruined..."she sighed resignedly. Yang turned to the screen to look at what her sister had been doing...

"...what's this? RWBY Yellow Trailer?"

**END OF FIRST HALF**

* * *

_Yang Reacts to the Yellow Trailer_

* * *

"...wait...if we're team RWBY..." She thought for a second. "...this has got to be good." With slightly renewed energy- hey, her hair was ruined, give her a break- Yang decided to take a look at the video.

"Oooh, a club! Cool music too, Yang likey!" She put her thumbs up in approval.

"Who's this?" She looked closely at the figures on the screen. "Wait...who's that co-is that me? I look hot...and better than now..." She sighed, lamenting her soot-covered hair.

"Oh, what's he trying? Nice one, me!" She cheered.

"Oh, just a bunch of hired thugs? How easy. How could anyone think that I'd be-oh, now some pretty girls are coming up! And they can fight! Whew..." She whistled. "I'm just too badass to lose.

What's this he's pulling out? Oh crap!" She cringed at herself being smashed into a wall...then she saw the strand of hair the man was holding.

"...that poor guy." She shook her head as her onscreen self began to unleash a beatdown that no other person in all of Vytal-

* * *

Nora slowly crept up on Ren, camera in hand.

"Heeeeey Reeeeeen~"

* * *

-okay, ALMOST no other person in all of Vytal could rival.

...

"Is that...Rubes? Aaawwww...she looks so cute~" She was almost overwhelmed with adorableness. "...she's so adorable! I could totally pick her up and take her home...if only I could pick up that Ruby and take her home...then I'd have two adorable little sisters~"

Yang imagined it briefly...

* * *

...she woke up, half an hour later, head on the keyboard, drooling.

"...so cute...wait, what? Oh." She blushed slightly, remembering she was still in a destroyed dorm. And in front of Ruby's computer.

Oh dear.

"Uh...well...it was awesome...guess I'd better approve, comment, and get out before Miss Ice Princess comes here and rips me apart..."

* * *

-**LittleSunDragonSempai**

Like, omd! So awesome! Make more pls~ and tell me were i can get dat launcher need a gift for my friend

Oh, and nice vid-i'll totes go out w/ you, maybe we can talk about making a film about my other friends ;)

-from yang

* * *

Quickly leaving a thumbs up, Yang jumped onto the windowsill.

"Well...only one thing to do now." She closed her eyes.

"GERONIMO!" She leaped off.

Not a minute later, Weiss returned...

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?!"

...and poor unlucky Cardin just happened to be walking in to apologise to Yang too.

"Hey, Schnee, did you see-"  
"CARDIN! YOU DID THIS!"

"Huh, wha-"

Her knee was already moving in an inorexable course upwards, and Cardin was powerless to stop it.

* * *

...the sounds of screaming left terror in the hearts of men in all of Beacon and nearby houses for a week.

* * *

Velvet was merely satisfied that another potential suitor to Weiss was eliminated.

"So...that sounded like Cardin~ Lucky him~"

She crossed off Cardin's head from a large board, holding mugshots of all the boys in Beacon she judged were threats to her potential courting of Weiss. Jaune had been crossed out, as had been most of CRDL...except Cardin, just now.

"...perfect." She smiled, steepling her hands.

* * *

Yang wiped her brow of sweat, relieved that she wasn't subjected to whatever horrible punishment- or god forbid, _execution_- Weiss had in mind for the person she thought trashed the room.

"Ok...um...hm..."She looked around.

"...I-I suppose I'd better ask someone if I can stay in their dorm for a bit...Weiss won't be happy. I feel sorry for Rubes...

Ah, well, she won't die." She shrugged and ran off.

**END**

* * *

**A/N: I got that over and done with. WOO! Poor Cardin...yes I know he's a jerk, but he seriously didn't deserve to be ****_executed _****by Weiss. Damn.**

**Hope you enjoyed it, leave your reviews, thoughts, criticism and suggestions in the reviews, and the next chapter coming up will be...*drum roll***

**...Weiss Reacts to Original Characters! See you guys next time!**


	6. Weiss Reacts to Original Characters

Weiss Reacts to Original Characters!

**A/N: Woo! More Weiss Reacts! And a shout out to the anonymous guy with the greatest impression of Weiss! Woo, and I WILL OBEY PRINCESS**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Weiss would rip off a certain other ice-wielding heiress more.**

* * *

Weiss, by now, was more apprehensive of the Dustnet site she frequented, 'FanStories . net' and indeed, considering that in the last couple of weeks, she'd seen such horrible stories that insinuated such..._indecent_ things about her and various members of the academy.

But there had been one particular thing gnawing at her mind.

One particular story- luckily for her, nothing so indecent as an erotic scene involving her and Jaune Arc (she still blushed at the thought of it, before shaking it away), or Dust forbid, Ruby Rose, of all people- had caught her eye, one night after her usual intensive studying. She had decided to check it out and found some peculiar findings; the story itself was of excellent quality.

It detailed a strange student, not one she recognized as having been a present pupil of Beacon, whose weapon was as detailed and multifunctional as Myrtenaster or Crescent Rose; a large falchion propelled by rockets, that turned into an immense laser blaster- she remembered it was called Balmung.

He seemed to have an entirely different kind of name; Otto Dracomorde or something similar. So, driven by curiosity, Weiss began searching the Dustnet; it didn't take her long to find the type of characters these were. Original characters.

"So that's what he is. Hm." Having found a particular chatroom on the site discussing these 'original characters', Weiss decided to join it.

* * *

**-TheRealIcePrincess has joined the chat room.**

**TheRealIcePrincess**: Hello.

**GreatMoonGuardian**: oh hi iceprincess

**GoldenPaladin**: hey weiss

**TheRealIcePrincess:** How do you know who I am?

**GoldenPaladin**: its me jaune

**TheRealIcePrincess**: Oh.

**GreatMoonGuardian**: this is weiss? weiss schnee?

**GoldenPaladin**: that's the one

**TheRealIcePrincess**: Okay, well, who's the other person?

**GreatMoonGuardian**: no need to know, miss schnee

**GoldenPaladin**: just a friend ^^ never knew you went on this weiss

**TheRealIcePrincess:** Well, I do. I have a question.

**GoldenPaladin**: yes?

**TheRealIcePrincess**: How would I go about picking out the good original characters from bad?

**GreatMoonGuardian**: yes?

**GoldenPaladin:** dude why so late

**GreatMoonGuardian**: sorry conn terrible ;/

GoldenPaladin: oh ok

well u see weiss you just need imagination, a good concept and a good name

also try to be original and also take inspiration from good sources, dont rip others of or other series

u clear sorry if im not, busy chatting quickly, gtg to training w/pyrrha soon

**TheRealIcePrincess**: Ok. Um. I didn't want to make one, I wanted to know what differentiated one good...OC (?) from a bad one.

**GreatMoonGuardian**: so many bad ocs nowadays

at least tell them to stop touching my girlfriend

**GoldenPaladin**: what

u have a girlfriend

**TheRealIcePrincess**: Guys?

**GreatMoonGuardian**: no im not telling u who she is

shes a big star now anyway, we broke up over problems

**GoldenPaladin**: like

**TheRealIcePrincess**: Guys? Hello? I was talking to you.

**GreatMoonGuardian**: long distance relationship

oh dammit i have to go

have to make sure these two dont kill the world or something

**-TheRealIcePrincess has disconnected.**

**GoldenPaladin**: good luck

they sound like they're trouble, what kind of a name is nyx anyway, sounds posh and scary

**GreatMoonGuardian**: yeah, about that, imma go now, k, catch you when i can arc

u kno how it is with these two

**-GreatMoonGuardian has disconnected.**

**GoldenPaladin**: right, weiss.

weiss?

where are you? dammit arc you did it again

* * *

Weiss sat in front of her screen, sighing. In her right hand was a steaming mug of hot cocoa Ruby had made her; the girl herself was busy helping Professor Port clean up a mess involving Eldritch monsters of some sort. The screen had a story on it, about several original characters forming a five-man team-

"Ok, firstly, how did Ozpin allow that?" She stared in disbelief at the monitor, but shook her head. "It's only a story, Schnee, it's only a story."

She continued browsing it.

Poor Weiss.

* * *

Within two chapters, she found even more violations of logic. The heiress could barely contain herself.

Firstly, the aformentioned five man team. She had yet find one in the whole of Beacon history- her family were very much Beacon alumni through and through- and yet Ozpin had easily granted them permission to form such a team in the first place! The characters were boring; bland names in comparison to their allies, made them seem more like self-inserted characters, like what she'd seen in- she refused to even think it, it made her shudder.

Secondly, their weapons. She acknowledged that such weapons as Crescent Rose, her partner's beloved sniper rifle-scythe hybrid, her own Myrtenaster and Nora's Magnhild, a giant hammer that was also a grenade launcher, were illogical, but worked nonetheless due to the skill and agility- and in Nora's case, sheer ignorance and bliss- of their wielders. But these?

One held what were essentially Ren's weapons, only in the shape of a lion and wolf, but they fired rounds that killed Grimm instantly. Another held what was essentially a gunblade- having read the reviews, Weiss knew these weapons were stolen from some game called Final Fantasy or something; and yet the author had the nerve to say they were completely original!

Thirdly were the cast themselves. Needlessly angsty, unrealistic caricatures of teenagers, the heiress cringed every time one cried about his tragic past- needlessly bloody, she might add- constantly, yet berated Ruby for crying once about her mother! Another constantly tried to hit on herself and Ruby...and succeeded, despite having the imagination for pickup lines that a rhino sniffing Dust might have. She balked at this.

Fourth, and finally, was how they were held up by the academy as some sort of exemplar- for taking down a Nevermore, which RWBY had been commended on but not given such praise for, of all things- despite their less than stellar personality, their complete obvious disregard for rules-

At this point, Weiss had to stop.

"What in the name of Dust have I been reading? Urgh! This is...completely...wrong! How can someone write this? Just...why?!"

She placed her head in her palms, seething. "Just...I don't even...who could write such garbage?!"

* * *

Somewhere in Vytal, in a dark warehouse...

Roman sneezed.

"...did someone appreciate my genius artwork somewhere?"

* * *

"Gah!" The heiress shook her head, going outside to vent for a bit.

"Just...seriously. I mean, they were needlessly angsty, with backstories that would make whoever wrote White Rose: True Love cringe!"

* * *

Ren sat in bed, a thermometer stuck in his mouth, an ice pack on his head, despite not being ill- Nora had shoved him into it after a streak of sneezing had convinced her that he was ill.

"Nora! I. Am. Fine.

"Nonsense, Ren, you have a cold!" She tried to shove a spoon of soup into his mouth.

"Gah! Get that-achoo!" He sneezed. Nora frowned.

"See, Ren? You ARE ill!"

"Gah! Jaune, help?!"

The blond boy looked at him worriedly, before running outside.

"...I hate you-ah!" The boy was interrupted as he had a spoon shoved into his mouth.

"Here comes the choo-choo train!"

* * *

"The ease of which they win me...no." She shook her head.

"I will master my rage. And funnel it into a strongly worded review!"

* * *

**-From: TheRealIcePrincess**

I have...several problems with this story. Take in note that these are constructive suggestions that are not meant to put you down.

Firstly, your characters' personalities are quite off-puttingly angsty and whiny. Indeed, calling another character out for crying for her mother once when they themselves decide to cry every day about a girl they barely met is very odd.

Secondly, their weapons are unoriginal. 'Squall's Fury', seriously?

Thirdly, I would not agree with their ease of gaining popularity within the school, and especially with women, with the complaints based above and their unimaginative pick up lines.

I hope you consider my suggestions helpful.

-Weiss Schnee

* * *

Her work done, she decided to take a look at the other fanfic she'd seen, the one about the boy carrying Balmung.

That, itself was much more...interesting. Otto, the protagonist, was simply paired up with three others; varied, interestingly named- indeed, the naming scheme seemed ...familiar to her- and best of all, not angsting about nigh on everything. Granted, Mischa, a teammate of the characters, did cry in a fairly...irritating way, but it was still less so than the constant harping on of the other one.

Their feats were also not as unexpected; here and there, handling the Grimm like any other team would, but never showing themselves to have more potential than any other team in Beacon; which, to be fair, was a fair lot.

And...

"Of course, they don't constantly hit on me. I'm not some kind of trophy to win, dammit. I'm a human, not an ice sculpture. I have a heart!

If...of course...it's a bit...cold..."She looked around shiftily. "Thank Dust, Yang isn't around. I'd burn myself alive if I let her hear me." She sighed in relief.

Leaving a long-winded review wasn't really needed, so she favourited it, followed it, and left one small note:

* * *

**-TheRealIcePrincess**

Well done.

-Weiss Schnee

* * *

Satisfied, the heiress went to bed.

* * *

Meanwhile...

"WHAT?! HOW CAN MY PERFECT WORK BE FLAWED?!" Roman looked at the screen in disbelief. This 'TheRealIcePrincess" person had completely trashed their work.

"WHAT?!" He looked closely at the signature.

"...Weiss...Schnee..." He curled his fingers into a fist. "Little Snow White, so you think my work's crap, huh?"

He banged his fist on the desk. He was _furious._

"I swear it, Schnee, I will make you like my work. I WILL." He laughed maniacally...before he had a burrito thrown at him.

"Shut it, Torchwick. I'm trying to get some sleep." Cinder leered at him, her normally perfect hair lain about her face.

"...sorry." He whimpered.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Beacon...

Yang looked at her work, smiling. "The Tale of the Dragonslayer" had reached its fiftieth follower; TheRealIcePrincess.

"Oh Weiss...I never knew you had such a soft spot for fairy tales. Noted." She scribbled down some notes, smiling.  
"Oh, the teasing~" She smiled mischievously as she shut off her viewscreen and walked back to the dorm.

* * *

When Weiss woke up, she decided to check her account.

What she got was a peculiar little private message from "TheCoachmanFirecracker"...

...

"WHO THE HELL SENT ME THIS EXPLETIVE-FILLED MESSAGE?!"

* * *

Roman smiled.

* * *

Ren cringed; both at the sudden shouting and Nora nuzzling his arm like a pillow.

Jaune instinctively covered his groin and ran far away from the dorm.

Pyrrha was conspicuously missing as usual.

* * *

Needless to say, team RWBY had a hell of a morning.

Ruby, for some reason, had a peculiar look on her face, like she was enjoying it, the entire time.

"Why is she so adorable..."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Oh Roman. Also, as I state in the description, I don't mean to hurt anyone by these; indeed, I like good OCs that are actually OCs, not...unoriginal and boring Sueish ones that seem more like self-inserts. Sorry if anyone was hurt. *Elf looks sad***

**Got that out of the way!**

**Next chapter: Weiss Reacts to Yanderes! Woo! Hope you enjoyed this chapter; leave your thoughts and suggestions here! A cookie for the guy who gets the references!**


	7. Weiss Reacts to Yanderes!

Weiss Reacts to Yanderes

**A/N: So...yeah. Yandere chapter. Woo! Not much to say, really.**

**Disclaimer: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Penny would be a student of Beacon (if she isn't already).**

* * *

Weiss stretched her fingers. "Right..." She looked around carefully, making sure Yang wasn't around.

She'd be damned if she saw her do this. Ever.

"Well...here goes." She moved to type something, but...well...she couldn't. The cursor seemed to taunt her with the possibilities that she was missing out on. The heiress was interested in writing fanfiction now, and she'd been trying to sit down and do it for a while.

It all started with a conversation online with Jaune and that weird friend of his...

* * *

**GoldenPaladin**: so weiss

**TheRealIcePrincess:** Yes?

**GoldenPaladin:** have you ever, like, wanted to write

**TheRealIcePrincess**: No...

**GreatMoonGuardian**: dammit out of chips

**GoldenPaladin**: buy some then

**GreatMoonGuardian**: cant

stupid seal

**TheRealIcePrincess:** What?

**GoldenPaladin**: what

**GreatMoonGuardian**: dont mind me carry on

**TheRealIcePrincess**: Ok, so writing, huh?

Well...it seems...hard, doesn't it?

**GoldenPaladin**: weiss

we talked about this

i can help you like give you pointers

**TheRealIcePrincess**: Huh. I'll...see...it doesn't seem like something I'm interested in. I 'll, uh, see you around, I suppose.

**GoldenPaladin: **well weiss

i'm always in the dorm

you can go ask me for pointers

cya

-**TheRealIcePrincess **has disconnected

* * *

Since then, Weiss considered taking up writing. She had seen so much bad fiction that it was a miracle her eyes were still capable of sight, or her mind capable of rational thought. The heiress wasn't a particularly creative type, but she did have an imagination. And she wanted to do something about all that horrible fiction out there; after all, if she managed to cultivate a skill while creating more good fiction for people to read, that was a bonus, right?

So, the heiress was interested in writing, and had attempted to put her ideas into practice. But as all writers, good and bad are prone to suffering; she had been struck with writers block.

* * *

She moved to type again and...

"Dust dammit." She sighed, massaging her temple. She looked around for something that might spark her creativity; a book, a movie, hell, even one of those "Achieve Men" posters Yang left strewn around the room. Nothing.

"Dammit. I guess I'll go ask Jaune." The heiress sighed and picked up her coat, slinging it on and walking out to JNPR dorm. It was just around the corner, she'd get there soon enough.

If it wasn't for the burlap sack that had found itself around her head, maybe she'd already be there.

* * *

_Ten minutes earlier..._

Velvet had finished yet another lemon featuring her and Weiss. By this time, she'd entirely given up the facade of John Smith, having killed off the character in the latest chapter of his eponymous story, to be replaced with a thinly disguised version of herself, "Satin Crimsonetta". She utterly squealed at her genius.

"Oh, Weissy-chan is going to love this one~" She blushed with the thought of showing her idol her stories. But...she hit a mental roadblock.

Weiss had _no idea who she was_. At this, she frowned.

"Hm...that might be a problem. After all, if my girl doesn't know about our relationship..." She sighed dreamily. "I might need to...rectify that."

And so, the rabbit Faunus formulated a cunning plan; Drop a sack of burlap on her object of affection's head and take her to her dorm room! She laughed in a psychotic, but strangely...cute manner.

"This will work peeeeerrrrfectly! Weissy-chan will love this!"

* * *

"Hey! Let me go! Yang! This isn't funny!" The heiress struggled inside the sack. "Hey!"

"Don't worry, Weissy-chan, you're in no danger~" Velvet said in a sing-song voice, while whistling.

At this, Weiss' eyes widened. "Wha-? Who is this? Nora?! What the hell are you doing?!"

* * *

Nora blinked her eyes open. She'd fallen asleep again.

"Nora...get...off...of...me." Ren struggled to get her off him. Despite her seemingly light frame, Nora weighed about as much as Ren and Jaune combined.

"Huh...wha...but you're a good pillow..."She shook her head, sneezing, before falling back asleep.

"...I hate my life." The black-haired boy sighed, lowering his head in defeat.

* * *

"What?! Has that Valkyrie girl been dating you?!"

"Wait...if you aren't Yang...or Nora...then..." The heiress was interrupted by the sack being taken off...and the strangest thing she'd ever beheld was there.

Plastered all around the walls in the room were pictures of Weiss. There were a couple of spaces reserved for a picture of three rabbit Faunus, a poster of the Achieve Men and a map of Vytal, but most of the open spaces were devoted to the visage of the heiress.

On the table in front of her was a Weiss bobblehead, and Weiss craned her neck to the left to see an open cabinet, with a picture of her framed in flowers, along with candles and various paraphernalia relating to her. She shuddered.

"W-what the..."

"D-do you like m-my dorm...Weissy-chan?" Velvet looked at her cutely.

"What? Who are you and what is the meaning of this?" Weiss tried to move, but her hands were bound in duct tape.

"I-I'm just..."Velvet blushed. "Y-your greatest admirer...I-I'm V-Velvet..." She shuddered slightly. This was an occasion she needed to remember.

The day when Weiss Schnee spoke to her...in person!

Meanwhile, the heiress looked at her incredulously. "...don't tell me this is all for me."

"A-all for you...Weissy-chan...w-we were meant to be together..." She drew herself into Weiss face, looking at it and admiring her clear icy blue eyes, her clear, alabaster skin and her platinum, shiny hair. She sat down on the bed next to Weiss' chair, admiring her.

"W-wow...y-you're beautiful..."

"Yeah, okay, I get that a lot, especially from that Arc boy. But what do you want from me? You didn't just drag me to your dorm for no reason, right?"

"O-oh...um..." Velvet looked around, before rummaging in her drawers and producing some sheets of paper.

"I-I wanted you to r-read them..."

"...well then." She motioned her head to her hands. "Perhaps you'd like to..."

"O-oh. U-um..." The bunny girl cut her loose; she wasn't worried as Weiss was still taped to the chair by her legs. Weiss sighed, trying to move herself loose, before grabbing the sheets.

"Ok, fine, I'll read these." She looked them over for a bit, before starting to read them properly. "Uhuh...what..."

"WHAT THE DUST IS THIS?!"

* * *

The yelling woke Ruby up from her plate of cookies- or rather, cookie crumbs, the girl had already eaten them all.

"W-wha...huh...Weiss?" She shook herself awake, looking around. "W-wait...she's not at the com-"

"IS THIS WHAT JAUNE CALLED A YANDERE?!"

"...that came from downstairs...where is she?" Ruby scratched her head.

* * *

'Oh no...' was the only thought in Velvet's head as Weiss completely took apart her fanfiction.

"J-just what is this? W-why is Satin so obsessed with me?!"

"T-that's love...s-she only wants s-someone to love her..." Velvet whimpered.

"And why is she threatening...is that RUBY?!" Weiss looked Velvet in the eye.

"Uh...no? That's...um...Amethyst..."

"And...what?! She spends EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY WITH ME. WHAT IN THE NAME OF DUST-" Weiss pinched her nose, trying to calm down. She counted down from ten under her breath, mentally going through everything Blake and Ruby had taught her to calm down.

Meanwhile, Velvet sighed. Her mind was in turmoil. 'S-she doesn't like my fics...w-why doesn't she...w-wasn't Satin l-loving enough...a-am I not l-loving enough...

I-I don't know...'

"...alright. Alright. I'm being too hard on you." The heiress nodded. "But...still...doesn't this...behaviour make it seem as if Satin is obsessed with me?"

"U-uh..." The bunnygirl blushed.

"I mean...I seriously don't like the concept of someone stalking someone around...I don't see why some people find it cute..." Weiss shrugged.

"I mean, I can see the appeal for...some people-"

* * *

Cardin sneezed.

* * *

"-but...one following me around? I know I'm beautiful, talented, and all that...but people just have to keep their distance!" She sighed.

"D-don't I know it..." She sighed dreamily.

* * *

Ruby crouched by the floor, listening in. Blake walked in, reading a book.

"Weiss chewing someone out?"

"Mhm."

"You want to see what's going on?"

"Mhm."

"You know where she is?"

"Mhm."

"Bad fanfic?"

"Mhm."

"Ok. Good luck with that." The black-haired girl climbed into her bunk to read. The crimsonette picked herself up and nodded.

"I think I'd better make sure she isn't _too_ mad...I mean, you saw what happened last time, right?"

"Cardin is still scared of ice after that incident. It is probably best if you do check on the unlucky victim of her scoldings." Blake didn't even look up from her book as Ruby walked out.

"Poor girl. I feel sorry for whoever Weiss is chewing out this time."

* * *

"Alright...well..." Weiss stood up, having wrenched herself free of the duct tape. Velvet blinked. "H-huh? Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go see a friend of mine."  
"Friend? What friend? Is a guy?"

"Uh...Jaune Arc? Why..."

'Dammit, I knew that Arc boy was dating her!' Velvet sighed. "I'm sorry, Weiss...b-but I-I c-can't let you do that..." She locked the door.

"Huh? What're you doing?"

"I-I want to spend t-time with you..." Velvet hugged her tightly. Weiss looked very surprised and irritated. "What? Let go of me! What're you doing?!"

"T-they say a bunny n-needs...s-someone to care about them..." Velvet spoke into her shoulder.

"S-someone to h-hug them...s-someone to care f-for them...o-or else t-they die..."

"A-as I'm p-part b-bunny...I-I have to t-take some t-traits from them...

S-so p-please...s-stay with me...a-and hug me..."

"..." Weiss was utterly confused.

Even more when the door fell down.

* * *

Ruby busted down the door with her boot, breathing heavily. There, some bunnygirl was hugging _her_ Weiss. _HER_ Weiss.

"W-Weiss?!"

"Ruby?!" At this, the heiress blushed.

'Well, this just got awkward.'

Velvet relinquished her to turn around to face the crimsonette. "W-what are you-"

"I've come to take my partner back."

"W-what? S-she's mine!"

"No...she's my adorable heiress!"

"No, mine!" Velvet crossed her arms and pouted.

"Weiss! She won't let me take you back home!" Ruby pointed at Velvet, also pouting.

At this point, Weiss was utterly confused about what was going on.

"What."

"Weissy-chan is mine!" Velvet tried to grab the heiress, but Ruby pulled her back. "No!" She then proceeded to grab Velvet's cheek and pinch hard.

"Oh! My cheek!" Velvet responded in kind, pinching the other girl's cheek. Soon, the pair were entangled, pinching the cheeks of the other. Weiss had a vaguely unamused expression on her face.

"Straight as a board, I said. Fairly certain, I said." She shook her head and walked out before they noticed. "I hate my life."

She could still hear the two arguing.

"She's mine!"

"But I got her first!"

* * *

"So...they got into a cheek-pinching fight over you, huh?" Jaune said over a mug of hot chocolate.

The pair were sitting on an outdoor eating area, and Weiss had made both of them hot chocolate; a skill she picked up when she, rather unfortunately, found out about her team leader's addiction to it in an incident that resulted in the burning of most of Blake's...indecent books. Needless to say, there were two frustrated team members that night. And a lot of horrified screaming.

"Uh...yeah." She nodded. "So, that's what a yandere is, huh?"

"Yes, GreatMoonGuardian seems to have a lot of experience with fanfics. He taught me nearly everything I know about 'em." He shrugged. "Nora and Ren taught me the rest."

"Nora and Ren write some?"

"Sure." The blonde boy nodded. "So, Velvet wrote Yandere fanfic about you and her?"

"Yeah."

"Uhuh...must've been awkward when she showed it to you."

"Must have been worse for the beta reader she was talking about."

* * *

Penny huddled in a corner, trying to erase the images from her eyes.

"...never...again..."

* * *

"Well, Pyrrha's calling me to training again." He stood up.

"Nice talking to you, by the way. Keep those pointers in mind, Weiss."

"Got you." She nodded and waved to Jaune as he walked off.

* * *

Meanwhile, Velvet whimpered and curled up in a ball in the corner of her room. "I-I lost the battle for Weissy-chan today..." She sighed.

"...b-but the war isn't over...I promise, Weissy-chan, I WILL b-be your g-girlfriend!" She crossed out one plan from a clipboard. Plans A, B,C, D and E were crossed out.

The next one involved bribing Ruby with cookies.

This was going to be a long week for Weiss.

And an enjoyable one for Velvet.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**Disclaimer 2: I like Velvet, this isn't meant to be trashing her. I just find the concept of a yandere Velvet hilarious. Who doesn't?**

**A/N: Well, you guys, like the meta twist there? Huh? Huh? *elf shoots self for making such bad puns***

**Well then, guys. Leave your thoughts, criticism, suggestions and gushing and/or trashing of me in the review section, and I hope you have a great day!**

**The next chapter will be...one you may or may not have been waiting for. Weiss Reacts...to Elf's Horrible Fanfics! *gasp* I'll be absolutely trashing myself! Nobody is safe...ok maybe some people. Have a great day and see you next time!**


	8. Special Chapter 2: ElfCollab's Badfic!

Special Chapter: Weiss Reacts to ElfCollab's Badfic!

**A/N: The very embodiment of my narcissism has arrived. Beware the bashing! I might consider featuring other writers if this takes off, although I'm weighing towards a no; I don't want to hurt other writers' feelings :c**

**Having realised who favourited this fic, no, LittleSunDragonSempai was NOT intended to be based off a certain someone's name. :P**

**But anyway, read, review and enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Weiss would be a magical girl.**

* * *

"But Weiss~ Why noooooooooot~" Yang frowned.

"Because it's stupid!"  
"But whhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!"

"No, Yang, I am not reading Velvet's fanfiction for you to see my reaction."

"Wait what?" She looked confused. "This isn't about Velvet's fanfiction?"

Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Then what's that then?"

"...just read it." The blonde brawler shoved the viewscreen into the heiress' hand. "NowifyouexcusemeIvegotfriendstogoseeandvisitandgofarawayfromyounowbye!" Before Weiss could protest, Yang had already burst out of the dorm.

"...Dust I hate her. I swear, Xiao Long, if this is another badfic, I'm executing you." She sighed and sat down. "Alright, what's this..."

She scrolled down 'LittleSunDragonSempai's' profile.

"Alright...hm. So she writes fanfic too, huh?" She noticed "The Tale of the Dragonslayer" at the top of the list.

"...so she wrote that too. I never knew she was that good." She shrugged, before her eyes widened. "...SHE WROTE THAT FIC BETWEEN ME AND JAUNE.

YANG XIAO LONG, I WILL END YOU."

* * *

Somewhere nearby, Yang giggled.

"It begins~"

* * *

"JUST..."She sighed. "...it was really good..." Weiss muttered several oaths to kill Yang under her breath.

"Ok...well then...I might as well see what some people might have to say about this..." With mild interest, she checked the reviews section. She saw the typical gushing, maybe one or two complainers whining about JaunexWeiss – "I don't find a problem with it...it's not like I like the dunce or anything..."- and then...

* * *

-**ElfCollaborator**

Wow, just wow. That was...really...interesting.

Mind if I feature this in my fanfic?

* * *

"What? Someone wrote a fanfic about a fanfic?! ...I'd better check this out." She clicked on the profile name.

"Right...time to look through this guy...wait what?"

* * *

She stared at the profile lists.

"He...he writes about me? My...how flattering...

What is Rammstein? That sounds vaguely familiar...

Hm...wait, what? Who the hell is Lelouch Lamperouge and why am I meeting him? Right...ok." She filed the names away for future reference.

"Favourite characters..."She scrolled down it, reading the names off it. "...WHY AM I AT THE BOTTOM?! I'M NICE! I JUST HAVE ANGER PROBLEMS!" She sighed and took a deep breath to calm down.

"Ok, so apparently a dirty monk is much more likeable than me. Whoever this 'ElfCollaborator' person is, he's starting to irritate me. What would a peasant like him know about me?" Weiss muttered in indignation. "...I hope his stories redeem him. They'd better do."

* * *

The first story that caught her eye was a songfic compilation called "Weiss und Rammstein".

"A series based around telling a tale of me to...whatever this band is. Well...this ought to be interesting."

She clicked on the link and began reading it.

Poor Weiss.

* * *

"...WHY AM I ALWAYS SUFFERING IN THIS FANFIC?! WHAT THE DUST?!" Weiss looked in shock at the screen. "M-MY FATHER WASN'T THAT MEAN!"

"I mean, okay, he was a bit aloof...but he never abused me like that! And why, just why am I in love with that dunce?!" She shook her head. "S-she isn't even cute! Or...or funny! Dust, I don't get this! And why are half of these stories about me crying over Ruby?! Just what?!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Ruby sneezed adorably.

* * *

"...ok, that is...no, just no. How-WHEN did this author get the impression I treat Ruby like trash? Ok, maybe...maybe I'm a bit mean to her...but I don't send her on suicidal missions! I...I actually care about that dunce!" She continued reading, but her irritation with the author was mounting.

"And just why would I blow myself up to spite my father? I...I don't have much against him!" She flipped to the last chapter, hoping something would improve.

"WHY DOES RUBY KEEP DYING IN THIS?! TH...oh...ok...um..."She blushed slightly. "Alright...so I do that..."

"Oh...so I save her...and it makes me look much better...interesting." She sighs. "Fine...I suppose this author has SOME worth...best not let it get to his head."

She typed up a review in response to the story quickly.

* * *

From: **TheRealIcePrincess**

I have just read your story and it is of decent quality, as expected. However, I must take into consideration the consistent hardship I suffer through within the story. I do not believe that I would break down so easily or so quickly. And I swear I do not have feelings for Ruby. She is a close, dear friend of mine, but I do not have feelings for her. She is as straight as a slightly bent board. Probably.

And my father did not mistreat me. He was somewhat distant, but never actively cruel.

I expect more from you.

-Weiss Schnee

* * *

"Hm. What's curious is that this isn't the fanfic he was talking about..." She scrolled down further.

"Weiss...Reacts? What's this?" She clicked on it curiously.

"...ok, I don't sound like that. And...what was I reading that...hang on a second, this happened two weeks ago!

Who the hell is this ElfCollaborator person and how does he know about this?!" She looked around the dorm suspiciously. The heiress stood up and began searching for hidden cameras; she'd gotten used to them after Yang's various pranks on her began with them. She looked behind the Achieve Men and Pentakill posters, bookshelves, Ruby's secret cookie stash...

"...there's nothing...unless..."

Yang had led her into this.

"...of course!" She stormed out of the dorm to find Yang.

A few seconds later, she stormed back in to grab the viewscreen and then stormed back out.

* * *

Yang was sitting down, enjoying a well-earned milkshake.

"Aah...life's good in S-"

"YANG XIAO LONG I WILL END YOU"

"...I spoke too soon." She sighed and looked at the heiress. "What did I do th-"

"You know what you did! You told this ElfCollaborator person about my reactions to fanfiction!"  
"Wait, what?!" She grabbed the viewscreen from Weiss and looked over it briefly. "Who...what?"

"Oh, don't act so surprised! You know what this is, don't you?"

"N-no! Who...this is practically the events of the last couple of weeks!"  
"Wait...if you didn't do it..."

"..." Both of them looked at each other and sat down. Yang nervously sipped her shake. "Well...I definitely didn't...I mean, I let him or her use my fanfic but...I didn't think he or she knew what happened."

"If it isn't you..."

"Can't be Blake. "

"I know it isn't Velvet. Or Ruby."

"Jaune?"

Weiss shook her head.

"That leaves Ren..."Yang shook hers. "Except I know Ren's penname."

"Wait, couldn't they just make an alt account?"  
"Right...but..."

"Well, in that case, it could be Blake, Jaune or Ren."

"Right. I'll check out Blake. You check out Ren." Weiss and Yang stood up to go, but before she could, Yang tapped her on the shoulder.

"And DON'T execute him, please."

"...what gave you that impression?" Weiss' expression was unchanged as she took back the viewscreen and walked off to JNPR dorm.

"...if he did write it, I feel sorry for him." Yang shook her head as she went to find her aloof partner.

* * *

"Hm...so he knows what I act like and what I say about fanfic...wait." She paused. "Ren can't have...can he?

I'd better check." She knocked on the door impatiently.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, Weiss."

The door opened to reveal Jaune, looking exhausted. "Yes?"

"Do you know anything about this?" She pushed the viewscreen into the boy's hands.

"H-huh? Wha-"

"Just read it."

He did so.

"Right, so it's about what happened in the last couple of weeks? It seems uncannily similar at any rate."

"I think Ren wrote it."

"W-wait...you favourited Ren's fics? And the one with me and you together? I neve-"

"Shut it, Arc. I want to know where Ren is." Jaune was about to respond before he turned around...

* * *

From within...

"REN! COME BACK! I NEED TO TAKE PICTURES!"  
"Dust dammit Nora, I want to write!"

Jaune turned to Weiss worriedly, but the heiress pushed him aside. "Wha-Weiss, wait!"

"Ren! Explain thi-" She was immediately cut off by shock.

She witnessed Ren in a giant sloth costume, and Nora snapping pictures of it.

"...this."

"...I don't know." He sighed resignedly.

"...is this a bad time?"

"No, not at all. Just hand me the screen, Schnee. I know you're not going to stop until I do." He extended a large, furry claw towards her and Weiss hesitantly handed it over. He looked over it quietly.

"...well?"

"...I didn't write this. I do approve of it. And why the hell do I sneeze whenever someone says Monty-" He sneezed. "-Oum? The name's familiar, but I don't know why."

"Do you know who did?" Weiss, at this point, was valiantly trying to listen to him and ignore the sudden, tight arms that had wrapped themselves around Ren.

"SO MOE OH MY DUST REN"

Ren shook his head. "Not a clue."

"...well, um..." She blushed slightly, embarrassed. "I'll just...go...uh...good luck with that..." She walked out, whispering a "Sorry" to Jaune before stepping out.

"...Nora...let me go."

"But I'm a koala! I need to hug you!"

"..."

* * *

Weiss sat back down in RWBY dorm, just in time for Yang to walk through.

"Anything?"

"Blake doesn't even recognize the name."

The heiress sighed. "Neither did Ren."

"Have you checked Jaune?"

"Doesn't seem like he did either."

"Well..." The blonde brawler scratched her head. "I'll...um...see you around. Catch me if you find out who it is, kay?"

"I'll see you." Weiss nodded and turned to the viewscreen, hearing the door shut behind her.

"...just who is this ElfCollaborator?" She checked the reviews for clues.

"Seems people really like my exploits, apparently." She allowed herself to smile a bit. "I don't know whether to be flattered or embarrassed, frankly..."

"...wait, who...someone impersonated me on this! They even took my name!" The heiress was indignant. "Who would dare impersonate me!? Don't they know that people aren't morons? And this ElfCollaborator person bought it as well! How..." She shook her head.

"I had better leave this one a review too."

* * *

-From: **TheRealIcePrincess**

Ignore the impersonator who dared to leave a review under my Dustnet handle. I AM THE REAL WEISS SCHNEE. That is all on that subject. But now, to cover the actual story...

I...thank you, for spreading and creating awareness of my thoughts on terrible fiction. I am still curious as to how you recorded it, or indeed where you got the information, but I will permit it.

Your writing style needs work, but I believe it is sufficient for the purposes of recording my reactions.

I hope to see more. And I reserve the right to scold you for stalking me if I ever see you.

-Weiss Schnee

* * *

"Now to check on the other story that caught my eye." Weiss scrolled down to check the latest story, "Resonance".

"Hm..."

She looked through it for ten minutes, reading it and taking it in.

* * *

"...I don't understand who these people are supposed to be. This Yukari person, according to this story, is supposed to have taken my place in the defeat of the Nevermore.

Who...or indeed what is a Persona? And..." She sighed. "I'm getting ahead of myself. Fanfiction is meant to be of other fandoms too, I suppose. Well...the concept is interesting, but I'll file it away for another time."

She filed away the word 'Persona' for another time and proceeded to look through the various reviews of "Weiss Reacts".

* * *

"Ok...hm. So someone took a similar name to Yang's profile...a friend of Yang's, perhaps, or maybe an alt? And the current review mentioned the impersonator's one; another person I will have to convince of the truth, I see.

...I seem to see a lot of reactions towards a...Yandere Velvet. I wonder why." She looked bemused and continued reading, her eyes widening as she continued.

."..wow. People seem to find my reactions interesting...funny...even." Her pale cheeks were rouged by the end of reading the reviews. "Am...am I really that funny? I never thought I...I'd be found funny like that by others, really."

"I...I never thought so many people would find my interactions...interesting. I..."She smiled.

She had to upload just one more review.

* * *

-From: **TheRealIcePrincess**

Thank you, by the way. The reviews here made my day.

-Weiss Schnee

* * *

With a smile, she looked over the reviews once more before closing the viewscreen.

"...this was certainly interesting. I'll probably tell Ruby about this. She'd want to know." With that, she headed out of the dorm to find her partner.

* * *

_Meanwhile, somewhere, in a dark room..._

"...so, Miss Schnee has indeed read it. Interesting."

A crack of the knuckles and the sound of typing.

"I was right! I WAS RIGHT! THEY EXIST!"

Maniacal laughter rang throughout the room and beyond, as the man in the shadows continued his ominous and crazed typing.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: FEEL THE META. FEEL IT.**

**This is just a combination of my absolute self-deprecation/a thank you to all of you guys who've followed and read this since the very beginning, as well as all of you who picked this up during various stages of the story. I'm thankful for your patronage and I hope that I'm making your days just a bit better by reading these. :) Depending on how this is recieved, I might consider doing a chapter on other authors; not that I want to make fun of you. As I said, if you see elements of your fics here, it's because we love you.  
**

**Well, now that we got the sappy stuff settled, thanks for reading, leave your reviews, thoughts, criticism and suggestions in the review section! This is just a thank you to all of you guys who left your thoughts and everyone who read my fic.**

**The next chapter is...Weiss Reacts to Cosplay! *le gasp* With that little spoiler, stay tuned, have fun, and enjoy your day! Until next time**


	9. Weiss Reacts to Cosplay!

Weiss Reacts to Cosplay

**A/N: So yeah, the chapter you may have or may have not been waiting for is here! Much cosplay reactions! Woo!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Blake would be QUEEN OF ALL HAREMS**

* * *

"Oh come on, Weiss! Do this! For us..."

"NO!"  
"But come on! I'll even buy you a shark plushie!"

"What-oh Ruby, don't tell me you're bribing me!"

"It's on me~"

"...I hate you. So much. Rose, I hate you."

Ruby squeaked in delight and Weiss looked at her in disdain. "You'll do it? For real?"

"Yes, fine, I will, if it will make you shut up. And get me a shark toy."

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" The heiress squeaked as her teammate hugged her tightly around the waist. "Wha-hey! Ruby!"

"I love you so much~"

"Yeah, okay, just go get changed already, before I change my mind." With that, Ruby ran out of the room, leaving the pile of clothes and the dye on the bed. The heiress sighed.

"Why do I even have to do this..." She sat on the bed next to the clothes, reading her viewscreen.

"Just what the Dust is cosplay anyway?"

* * *

It all started last Friday. Yang had noticed a poster for the "Vytal Animecon" happening over in Vale, and, as both were huge fans of anime- Weiss never saw the appeal herself- they'd decided to drag along Blake, Weiss, Ren and Nora. Jaune decided to show up as well- Pyrrha was going off on vacation to her parents soon and as, for once, she hadn't dragged her leader with her, he was free.

The other four were receptive to the idea of dressing up as various characters from these anime.

Weiss...not so much. She intially hated the idea, but Ruby and Yang had managed to rope her into doing it.

It didn't help with Ruby's Dust-damned puppy eyes; not even Weiss' cold heart could resist them.

* * *

"Ugh...what do I have to look like, anyway?" She typed into the Dustnet search engine, looking up various cosplays...until she ran upon some called "RWBY cosplays".

"...please, please don't tell me these are-"

The image of a girl, dressed exactly like Ruby, showed up on her screen.

"...these are of us." She tried to suppress a smile; inside, she was flattered that people wanted to emulate them, just like they liked her on that one fanfiction she followed as "TheRealIceHeiress"; after changing her username, of course, as she was no princess, no matter what Ruby and Jaune liked to fantasise, and what Yang called her.

* * *

Velvet looked up.

"Hey, why am I being left out of Weissy-chan's thoughts, Elf-chan? That's not fair!"

* * *

"Ok...oh wow, that Crescent Rose looks...good, actually. Whoa." She scrolled through the pictures of cosplayers. "Wow, they...they really paid attention to detail...that's amazing..."

"Is that Nora? Wow, she looks exactly like her! She even got the...that's just amazing!" She couldn't hold back her excitement.

"Now, I wonder where mine are..."

* * *

Ruby put on a black robe, leaning by a repainted Crescent Rose, sighing.

"What do you think is taking Weiss so long?"

Yang emerged from the toilet, sighing. She was dressed in a papier-mâché costume, made to look like a white, smooth ceramic torso. Her legs were in white stockings, and she was wearing solid black boots. Her forearms were in similar fabric to her legs, with two black bangles at her wrists, both attached with a round cylinder with painted-on gun barrels. She wore a red ribbon at her neck, and a black and gold headband covered her head and ears.

"She said give her a couple of minutes, Rubes."

"She's been in there for ten."  
"Eh, it's Weiss. She'll probably be fretting about her costume or something. Seen Blake?"

"Uh, no?" Ruby shrugged, putting on a skeleton mask. She was going as the Grim Reaper; she knew it would creep others out, at the very least.

"She said she'd be doing something nice for the con. I don't what, though."

* * *

Weiss gasped.

"Wow...those are...me?" She looked through various pictures, all of people dressing up as her, down to the hair, some wearing tiaras and some with very intricate replicas of her beloved Myrtenaster.

"These people are really dedicated. That's...interesting. Am I really that popular that people would want to dress like me?" The heiress felt touched.

"Come to think of it, are we really so popular that people want to...wait HANG ON."

She pointed at one particular picture.

"MY JACKET ISN'T AZURE, ITS LIGHT BLUE. HOW DARE SHE?!"

And so the spell of wonder was broken.

* * *

"Blake? Blaaaaaake?" Yang rapped on the other bathroom door.

"I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay!" Yang turned to Ruby.  
Rubes, she'll be out in a minute."

"Uh...I'd better start looking for Weiss then." Ruby ambled off, looking for her partner.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ren, dressed in a long, sleek coat, with dark sunglasses, and Nora, dressed in chainmail, a winged helmet and bearing the hammer Mjollnir, stood outside RWBY dorm.

"Ren?"  
"Yes?"  
"Where's Jaune?"

"He said he'll be here, he just needed to finish his costume."

"Wasn't he coming as...what was he called, Caboose?"

"Said he changed his mind. I wonder to what, though."

They were immediately silenced when their friend rounded the corner.

* * *

"WHAT IS..." She took a deep breath, trying to calm down and not lose her temper. "One...two...three..."

"Weiss? Are you in there? Weiss?"

"Uh...yeah?" Weiss looked behind her shoulder.

"Are you ready yet?"

"Um...no-" She was interrupted by the adorable incarnation of Death entering. "Uh...Weiss..."

"Yes?"

"I heard screaming, is there something wrong?"

"Not in particular." The heiress shrugged, before Ruby grabbed her viewscreen.

"Wha-hey! That's mine! Ruby!" Despite being Ruby's elder by two or three years, Weiss found that the only thing Ruby needed to do to keep her gadgets away from her was to simply hold them over her head; Ruby was taller by at least a head or two.

"Wait, what are you...oh...OH!" She giggled.

"Are these people dressed as you?"

"Yes, yes, very funny, now give it-"

"It's cute."

"...what." Weiss stared at her in disbelief. Ruby giggled. "It's cute that people want to dress like you."

"Uhuh."

"I mean, you're so adorable and cute and huggable and-"

"Um, Ruby."  
"What?"

"You're hugging me on instinct again."

Ruby immediately relinquished her, and Weiss fell on the floor, grunting. "Ow..."

"OHMYDUSTAREYOUOKAYWEISS? OHNONONONO

MY HANDS ARE CURSED!  
THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED TO LIVE LIFE!

PLEASE FORGIVE ME!"

The heiress blinked. "Um...I'll live?" At this, Ruby stopped fretting. "Oh. Okay." She rubbed the back of her head, blushing. "So...uh...these people are cosplaying as us..."

"Yes..."

"...that's so cool."

"...you could say that."

"We should totally get in touch with some of them. Their costumes are so realistic, it's like they're really us!"

"...ok, not that far, Ruby. Maybe not that far. They don't look exactly like us." Weiss sighed. "I'll still say, that some of these costumes may be under average, but some are...incredible, to say the least."

"So...uh...you're okay now, right?"

"Yes. I'll just be getting dressed now."

Ruby reluctantly left, while silently cheering herself.

"I got to hug her! Yesssss~"

* * *

"Oh...wow. Jaune."

"Uh...are you sure that's Jaune? She looks-"

"I'm Jaune, Nora."

Jaune's hair was covered in a wig of a lighter shade of blonde. It was slightly bunched up in a bun, before falling down his back in a ponytail. He himself was clad in a blue, white and golden ensemble of armour, with a large skirt reaching down from his waist. His right hand was shielded with a large bracer, and he was holding an even large golden blade.

If it wasn't for the fact that Nora and Ren knew him personally, Jaune could easily have been mistaken as a girl.

"Who're you supposed to be?" Ren tilted his head, taking in his appearance.

"Someone called Saber, apparently. Pyrrha told me to. She likes anime too, apparently, although Saber's supposed to be from a novel or something." Jaune shrugged.

"Uhuh." Nora tilted her head. "You look like a girl in that."

"Yeah, I know, Cardin said that already." He sighed.

"...you really do look like a girl." Ren looked at his teammate, entranced.

"Hey, Ren! Remnant to Ren! I'm a guy!" Meanwhile, Nora made sloth noises to try to pull her teammate back to reality.

* * *

"Blake?"

"I'm ready!" The bathroom door opened, to reveal Blake.

Blake was in what could readily be described as fur boots, a fur slip surrounding her chest, fur underwear, with white stripes surrounding her stomach. Her face was similarly painted, and her normally loose hair was kept in a long tail by a hairband, her ribbon gone and her cat ears revealed. In her hand was a long, sharp-looking spear, wrapped in vines. Her hair was also a slightly dark shade of brown, in comparison to her typical jet black hair.

Yang wolf-whistled. "Whoa, girl, who're you trying to impress?"

"You said come dressed as whoever I liked." She shrugged.

"Well, you've impressed me, definitely~" Yang smirked teasingly. Blake shrugged. "This isn't my best work, either."

Ruby burst in.

"Okay, Weiss, come out!"

"This is...strangely comfortable." The heiress came out...

Her normally snow white hair was turned a velvety shade of red by quick-washing Dust dye. She was wearing a black, skintight spy catsuit, wrapped in a large, white, luxurious looking coat, lined with mink. Her Myrtenaster was incorporated into the costume, and it was at her waist. She looked taller, too, probably due to the heels on her boots.

Ruby blushed. "So beautiful..."

Yang blinked. "You're doing the same series as I am?"

The heiress shrugged. "Ruby dragged me into this."

"Well, princess...wow, Rubes, you've got some good taste! That suit really brings out her curves and makes her look-"

"Yang!" The heiress immediately turned a bright shade of red.

"I was just saying... Dust, Weiss, you don't have to get so defensive." Yang stuck her tongue out at Weiss.

"So, uh, guys, should we go?" Ruby opened the door. Everyone nodded...

And thus, they beheld the feminine Jaune.

"Oh wow."  
"Jaune, is that you?"

"Oh Dust, I didn't know we had a new girl!"

Blake merely looked at Jaune curiously, before giving him a strangely...was it desiring, look? Jaune blinked.

"Uh...it's me, guys? And...REN WHAT ARE YOU DOING."

The black-haired boy was hugging him from behind.

"Uh..."

"Shall we go before something crazy happens?" Yang sighed. Blake concurred, as did Weiss.

"Ruby, I swear, by the end of this, you'll owe me all the shark toys in the world.

She felt like this was going to be a long day.

* * *

**END**

**A/N: Nearly ran out of ideas for this chapter. Luckily, TvTropes. Woo! Also, Weiss as Mitsuru cosplay for the win.  
So just a short, sweet chapter. Nothing much, except to satiate your thirst for Lovable Tsundere Weiss-Chan! Sadly, no RvB shoutouts apart from a few. I have sadly yet to watch it and probably won't; sorry to disappoint. :(**

**The next chapter will be...*drumroll* a special one! RWBY at Vytal Animecon! Woo! Now with more guest appearances!**

**Read, review, enjoy, and I hope you all have a great day! Until next time!**


	10. Special Chapter 3: RWBY at Animecon!

Special Chapter: RWBY at Vytal Animecon!

**A/N: Yes, kids, RWBY (and Ren, Nora and Jaune, but who's counting) is headed to a huge anime/video games convention. And it will be glorious!**

**Since I've gotten a lot of questions about this, Yang and Weiss are dressed as Aigis and Mitsuru from Persona 4 Arena, and Blake is indeed Nidalee from League of Legends. Hope that cleared that up!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Cardin would be less of a jackass and more of a badass.**

* * *

Outside Beacon Academy, the party walked all the way down to a small garage, hired out by the academy to keep various vehicles; Ruby and Yang's cycles, Nora's moped, and a space for Pyrrha's car; she'd taken it to drive to her parent's. Everyone lined up behind Yang, who lead them to her space.

"Right, everyone. Into my car." She unlocked the doors, smiling, while Jaune and Blake looked at it, impressed.

* * *

Everyone had to pile into Yang's car; Yang and Ren being the only ones of them who had a driver's license, and Yang the only one who owned a car.

It was a pretty big car; large, painted gold and silver, the way Yang liked it, with custom rims, with about eight seats, faux-leather upholstery, faux-wooden dashboard and it smelled like pine inside. Perfect for her.

The blonde brawler blanched at what her beloved 'Yangmobile' would look like after her friends sat in it for two hours. She shook her head, sighing and thinking to herself. 'Can't be that bad; Ren and Weiss, at least, aren't that stupid...and Ruby knows not to mess with my car.'

"Yang, you have a car?" Blake tilted her head, while stocking her spear in the back seat.

"Yeah, I bought it for my birthday. You like?" She smiled.

"Impressive..." The aloof girl fixed her fur boots and sat on the right, behind Yang's seat. Weiss went in after her, opening up the back seats for Ren and Nora, who clambered in, and then Jaune took the last seat; Ruby sat at the front, next to her sister. Yang looked to make sure everyone was in, before fixing her neck ribbon and her headband.

"Right, I'll set some rules for travelling in the Yangmobile. One, don't ruin my upholstery. Two, don't touch my CDs. Three, I swear if you leave any trash on my car, I will end you. Okay~?" She stated with a smile. Everyone nodded and Yang began to move out of the garage.

Jaune looked to Weiss nervously.

"Uh...she's scary..."

"Don't worry, Arc. Not like she's going after you anyway. You already have enough to suffer through."

"REN SIT DOWN!"

"B-but..." He whimpered before sitting down.

Blake turned to Nora. "Uh..."

"Not my fault Jaune looks so much like a girl..." Nora muttered almost sadly.

"Wha-hey! This is all Pyrrha's fault! She told me she'd dress up as Shirou!" Jaune crossed his arms; it was awkward considering the bracer on his arm. "Then she had to go to her parents...dammit."

Yang shook her head.

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

The group were halfway to the convention center, about two hours away from Beacon, and the sound of Yang's favourite song, 'I Burn', was pumping through it. By this time, Weiss and Blake had fallen asleep on each other's shoulders, and Nora was busy humming some unholy combination of the sound of a sloth and explosions. Ren was attempting not to anger his partner and curbed his desire for Jaune, who looked behind him nervously.

Ruby and Yang, meanwhile, were singing along to the song happily. The blonde brawler had a happy expression; while Weiss and Blake had gotten into a small argument about whose costume was better- "Oh wow, Weiss, you look nothing like Mitsuru!" "Wha-well, you're not a cougar Faunus, are you?!"- and Nora and Ren had gotten into one about the power levels of their favourite characters- "Dust, Ren, everyone knows that Kirby would totally beat Captain Hook in a fight!" "No way, Nora!"-it had largely subsided when everyone agreed with Ruby; nobody could beat the L-Block in swag_. Nobody._

The crossdressing boy tapped Yang nervously. "Uh...Yang?"

"Yes?"

"How long until we get there?"

"An hour, give or take. Why, something eatin' you, goldie?"

"Uh...no...Ren's giving me a strange look again..."

"He can't help it! You look so cute~" She winked. Jaune cringed and she started laughing, until Ruby poked her.

"Yang, do you think they'd show Phoenix Ranger Featherman there?"

"Oh. My. Dust. I heard one of the actors is actually going to come and sign autographs by themselves!"

"Really?!" Ruby's eyes glittered with excitement .

Both girls squealed in delight; the show was a Toku masterpiece, that had always gotten a stall in the conventions every year. They always enjoyed taking pictures with the actors in full costume and getting autographs; Yang had signed pictures of the cast under her bed.

"W-who do you think's doing it?"

"I heard from a friend that the actress behind Pink Argus was."

"Really? That sounds cool! I love her, she's got the bow and the shooting and oh Dust she's cool!" The silver-eyed girl utterly gushed about her favourite character on the show.

Meanwhile, in the back, Jaune fiddled with his Excalibur replica, looking it over and running his fingers up and down it-he'd made it in the forges, by himself using plans Pyrrha handed him. He sighed.

"I hope it's really as good as they're making it out to be... the car's uncomfortable enough, what with Ren fawning over me..." He shrugged and leaned back, before...

"REN WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

"S-sorry, Saber-chan..." Ren blushed.

* * *

"We're here!" Yang stretched her arms out, fixing her replica wrist-mounted guns. Ruby unfolded Crescent Rose; it was repainted to resemble a scythe with a skull motif and pulled down her skull mask. Blake slung her spear behind her with a leather holder, while Nora and Ren looked at the place. Jaune hid behind Yang, nervously gripping his Excalibur, while Weiss viewed the crowds walking in, adjusting the sunglasses she'd added to the costume.

"Whoa..." Ruby looked at the influx of visitors. So many of them were cosplaying as well; some were cosplaying as members of RWBY, others as what appeared to be schoolgirls with reddish skirts and neck ribbons, white uniforms and unusual hair, and some resembled superheroes- at least one guy was dressed as a blue and red guy with a long red cape. At least one or two were dressed like Grimm.

"I know, right?" Yang rooted around in her satchel, looking for the party's entrance tickets. Weiss surveyed the crowds. "I never knew so many people were into cosplay. Perhaps I was a bit wrong to find it weird?"

"It's fine, Weiss, you're moe when you're embarrassed..."

"What?!" The heiress snapped her head towards Ruby, who was looking away, whistling innocently.

"So, how are we doing this? Inevitably, we're all going to be checking other stalls and sections." Blake inquired.

"Right. This is how it goes. Me and Ruby go together, along with Weiss. Nora and Ren'll go together, and Jaune and Blake go together."

"What?" Ren protested. "Why can't we go with Jaune?"

"W-wha-QUIT GROPING ME. I'M A GUY." Jaune stepped away, slapping his teammate's hand.

"...and that's why. Any questions?" Weiss raised a finger. "Nope? Okay, let's go!"

"..." The heiress glared at Yang as they went inside.

* * *

After she'd finally pushed her way through every other person and inside the center, Yang staked out a place in front of a map of the various stalls and sections.

"Team, we're all meeting back here when we're heading home. We leave at ten-thirty, got it?"

"Right!" Everyone answered in unison.

"No leaving your buddies behind, that's my only rule. Right, team, let's split!"

With that, Ruby, Weiss and Yang stalked off to find the Phoenix Ranger Featherman stall, while Blake walked off, letting Jaune follow. Nora and Ren wandered off.

* * *

The three expected a long queue for their beloved show. Surprisingly, there wasn't one- it looked like they just arrived. Sitting behind a table, with posters of the show's protagonists, was Pink Argus' actress.

Weiss had expected a tall, limber woman, with blonde hair and willowy limbs, having never watched the show. The actress defied that; she was about as tall as Ruby, more or less, with average, if slightly muscled, arms. She had short auburn hair , her eyes were round and hazel and she had a neutral, vaguely tired expression on her round, young looking face. Something about her seemed familiar to Weiss, as if she knew her name, but couldn't quite place it.

"Uh, hey!" Yang came up to her. "Good morning, would you like a signed poster or-"

"OHMYDUSTOHMYDUSTOHMYDUST! ITS YOU!" Ruby practically screamed.

"Yes, I am Pink Argus." The actress laughed.

"Like, I'm your biggest fan! Oh my Dust, this is amazing!"

Yang rubbed the back of her head apologetically. "Uh, I'm really sorry about my sister, she's a huge fan and Rubyyoucanstophugginghernow!"

The actress laughed. "Oh, it's no problem. I've never seen someone so enthusiastic about the show before! Some might say even the actors aren't. I know it's not my favourite thing."

"Oh?" The blonde brawler tilted her head. "Why not?"

"I dunno..." She shrugged. "It kinda pales compared to what I did back in high school...doesn't seem as meaningful, really. You could say my high school days were kinda like a life-or-death battle, y'know?"

"Oh, I get it. Best days of your life?"

She smiled meaningfully. "You could say that." Ruby finally relinquished her from her hug. "S-sorry...I was just so excited..." She blushed.

"I get that a lot. It's just nice to see someone who enjoys my work." She giggled. "You really made my day, you know. For that, I'll let you take pictures with me."

"Really?!" The sisters looked at each other, absolutely excited.

* * *

Meanwhile, Weiss ambled around the nearby stalls.

"So these are what Ruby and Yang find interesting, huh?" She looked around. Stalls of everything were here; she even saw a big RWBY stall several aisles over.

"Oh Dust, this has got to be the weirdest thing I've ever seen." Weiss looked around at Ruby and Yang; they were busy snapping pictures with the actress. They hadn't at all noticed the huge stall devoted to them.

"Well...I guess I'd better check it out then..."

* * *

Blake smiled to herself. She'd visited the Pentakill stall; as a band very much associated with video games and anime, they were invited to the con- and she'd managed to get a signed poster of the band members from asking their guitarist, a big guy with a top hat and a hunched back, who spoke with a deep, baritone voice.

"Pentakill is totally the best band ever. I haven't got any idea where Yang got the idea the Achieve Men are." She shook her head. "Jaune, come on."

"Uh..."

"Jaune?" Blake turned around.

Jaune was surrounded by several guys, all looking at him with desire.

"Hey, girl, wanna go around with me?"

"I'll give you a nice time around here."

"You look cute!"

The black-haired girl shook her head and pushed her way past everyone. "Ok, back off. He's mine."

"Girl, what are you talking about?"

"She's a girl, y'know!"

Jaune nervously spoke up. "Uh...I'm a guy..."

"Sure you are. You look too pretty!"

Jaune took off his wig.

"So you're a short-haired girl. And what?"

"Uh...Blake?"

"On it." Before any of the crowd could react, both were replaced with Blake's Semblance-generated illusions.

The pair crouched behind a stall.

"Dammit, Jaune. Why do you have to look so adorable?!"  
"I-It wasn't even my fault!"

"I'm going to have to teach everyone else you're mine..."  
"W-what?!"

"I-I mean, I'm going to have to teach everyone else you're taken..."

Jaune looked at her strangely. "...Weiss isn't going out with me."

"Yeah, okay."

* * *

Ruby and Yang were chatting with the actress, before an overwhelmed hand, looking flushed and sweaty, ran to her.

"Miss! We need you over with everyone else! They're getting ready for a huge show over in the other building and we need you to get ready!"  
"Huh? Dammit." She sighed. "Well, it was nice talking to you guys."

Yang laughed. "Ditto. And have fun!"

"So...Yang and Ruby, was it?"

"Yeah!" Ruby chirped cheerily.

"I hope I see you guys again sometime. By the way, my name's Yuk-"

"Miss, we have to go!" The hand dragged the actress off. As she was quickly hurried away, she waved at them, and made an attempt at finishing the sentence; against the roar of the crowd, however, it was indecipherable.

"Aw..." Ruby sighed. "So...what do you want to do now?"

"Hm...maybe we should let Weiss decide. Right, Princess?" Yang looked around and realised the heiress had disappeared.

"Weiss?"

"Oh no, not again."  
"This is last year all over again!" The sisters looked at each other, worriedly.

* * *

Weiss came up to the stall. It was empty- the placard on it said "Out to Lunch"- so Weiss decided to look at the merchandise.

It was...strangely familiar and yet foreign. There were shirts with silhouettes of her team on it and the team's initials, mugs, a soundtrack, and even DVD boxsets of a show, presumably based on them.

"What is this place?" She shook her head, confused. "This..." She looked at a rack, and it had replicas of Myrtenaster, Ember Celica and Gambol Shroud hung from it, with Crescent Rose replicas laid against the rack. There were even clothes of all of team RWBY and JNPR on it, and one costume she recognized as Torchwick's.

"...people actually wear that?!"

* * *

Speaking of Torchwick...

"Dammit Cinder, why the hell am I the ugly one?!" The normally lean, debonair man was dressed as a large man in intricately engraved black armor, with green skin and red hair. At his waist were his cane and a large, replica sword.

Meanwhile, Cinder was wearing a tiara, with a purple and white dress. Her ears were pointed, and her hands were covered in long, white gloves, matching her outfit. Her normally black hair was dyed brown, braided into a long ponytail going down her back.

"Because I hate dressing as a witch."  
"But did I HAVE to be this guy?"

"Oh shut it, Roman." Cinder waved him off. "Besides, you look nothing like Link!"

"And you look nothing like Zelda!"

"And this is why you're dressed as Ganondorf. Now quit talking and look tough. You're supposed to be a big bad, not a whiny git."

"But-" Roman was silenced by his partner in crime slapping him with a burrito. "No arguing."

"...I hate you so much."

* * *

After they'd judged it safe to reappear, Jaune and Blake managed to assimilate themselves into the crowd without much trouble, apart from the occasional guy mistaking Jaune as a girl, to which Blake responded with a glare that would knock down a Nevermore.

"Ok, Jaune, where do you want to go now?"

"Uh..." He looked around, before he spotted a shop labelled "Manga World". He pointed over there. "I'll go check this out."

"Right, stay nearby, okay? I don't want you to get lost."

"Got it!" He ambled into the store, while Blake looked around various stalls, without a care in the world.

* * *

It was incredible, Jaune thought, as he browsed the store.

Every single little manga and anime he could think of was here. Black Butler, Lucky Star, Code Geass- even ones that had finished ages ago got reprints here. He loved it.

Before Yang had roped him into Animecon, the boy had usually kept his love of such things down- until he met Pyrrha and Ren, who loved the same things; he was pretty alone in enjoying a few manga. But now, he realised that a load of other people loved it, and would spend a load of money just to set this all up-

And his train of thought was interrupted as he tripped over someone.

"Ow!"  
"Oh, sorry!" The person stood up and he could have a good look at her.

She had a wig of light blue hair- Jaune could tell from the fact that she had red hair poking out under it, here and there- that extended into a large ponytail reaching down behind her head. She wore a skin-tight light-blue leotard, with her legs covered in large plates of armor. One of her eyes was covered by a black eyepatch, with a red spot in the middle, and her leotard was covered in white plates as well. Her arms were covered in the same fabric and plates.

"Uh...hi?"

"Hi! I'm Penny!" Penny waved at him.

"You're Penny? The Penny Ruby was talking about?"

"Yeah, how do you know?" She gasped. "Are you two friends?"

"Uh...you could say that-oof!" Penny hugged him tightly. "Don't worry, a friend of Ruby's is a friend of mine!"

"Ow...you're crushing my bones..."

"Sorry!" She relinquished him and Jaune dropped to one knee, coughing. "Are you injured? Should I call a doctor?"  
"Uh...no...I'll live..."

"Oh." She smiled. "So...who are you supposed to be?"

"Uh...Saber?"

"Oh, I know her!" She responded cheerily. "I'm supposed to be dressed as..." Her eyes went blank for a bit, before she responded. "...Nu-13!"  
"Who?"

"She's from a fighting game!"

"Uhuh. So...Penny...what're you doing here?"

"I like manga." She shrugged. "Hey, when you next see Ruby, tell her Penny said hi!"

"Ok. Wait...crap!" Jaune checked his watch. He'd been in here for fifteen minutes!

"Nononono...Blake's probably wondering where the hell I am...sorry, Penny, I gotta go!"

"Oh, ok!" She waved. "By the way, who are you?"

"I'm Jaune, now I gotta go!" He ran towards the exit. Penny continued waving to him.

"Okay! I'll see you later, friend!"

* * *

Weiss decided to amble around the various stalls. For some reason, various male-and some female- members of the convention were giving her strange looks, like the ones Ruby always gave her. She sighed, fixing her large coat.

"Uhuh...right...this is..."

"Hey, do you mind taking a picture with us?"

"Uh..." Weiss turned towards whoever had said that; they were both dressed in the same uniforms she'd seen earlier. One of them was shorter; indeed, she was about as tall as Weiss was normally without the heels, and had long, blue hair, while the other had light, lavender hair, fixed into twin pigtails with black ribbons.

"Do you mind taking a picture with us?"

"Uh..." Weiss shrugged and stood next to them, while she was surrounded by both. The shorter girl put her fingers up in a V-sign and dragged the taller girl to the other side of Weiss.

"Cheese!" She snapped a few pictures with her phone, before relinquishing her. "Thanks!"  
"Uhuh..." The heiress walked off, confused.

The shorter girl turned to the taller one, shaking her head and sighing.

"...Kagami, why aren't you excited about this?"

"You did just drag a random person in to take a picture with us! Why, Konata?"

"Not my fault! I had to take ONE picture with Mitsuru!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Ruby and Yang continued searching for their teammate. Ruby was holding a bag of shark plushies, while Yang was holding a bag of posters.

"Weiss!"

"Weiss?! Hello?"

"Dammit, Rubes, we lost her-"

"WAIT NO THERE SHE IS! WEISS!" Ruby ran at full speed at someone who was dressed like their teammate normally was, not realising that Weiss was also cosplaying...and...

"O-Ow..." Their wig was knocked off, revealing a head of brown hair and bunny ears, as the crimsonette plowed into them at full speed. Ruby immediately realised her mistake.

"...Velvet?! What are you doing here?!"

"...d-did I really look like...W-Weissy-chan..."

"Oh my Dust, I am SO SO SORRY!" Ruby helped the bunnygirl up and picked up her wig. "Oh my Dust...I am such a klutz..."  
"N-no...it's fine... w-where's Weissy-chan..."

"Uh...we're looking for her." Ruby rubbed the back of her head, nervously laughing.

"Uhuh...well..." Velvet noted that down in the back of her head. "Well...I-I'll tell you if I see her...I'll see you around...I-I guess..." She walked off, fixing her wig back on and fixing the jacket she'd taken from Weiss' personal wardrobe.

"So Weissy-chan is here...she'll be all mine." She giggled crazily.

* * *

Blake, meanwhile, was within her element. Mixing into the crowd, she'd managed to slip stealthily from stall to stall, taking what she needed with the minimum effort needed to take, buy and slip into a bag everything she wanted.

Within several minutes, she'd managed to fill several bags full of posters, books and CDs, and was now satisfied.

"Ok, Jaune...Jaune?" She looked around, her cat ears twitching. Her partner wasn't there. "...well, that's going to be bad." The catgirl looked around, sweeping the crowd for any sign of Jaune...nothing.

She sighed. "Very well." She rushed into the crowd, looking for Jaune and focusing herself into finding him...

She didn't notice that she was running straight into a pair of men carrying a large, glass container labelled "Catnip".

By the time she smashed into it, it was too late.

* * *

Weiss continued walking around. She'd had a couple more run-ins with random people who loved her costume and wanted to take pictures with her, and with one person who recognized her from her short stint as a singer, but she still didn't see the appeal to it.

She sighed. "Well...this wasn't as good as they said it would be. How...wait..." She spied something out of the corner of her eyes and she immediately darted over there.

Yaoi manga. Yaoi manga galore.

"Maybe this wasn't such a waste of time..." With a quick sweep of her coat, the heiress rushed over to the table, sampling the manga- especially the steamier ones. Her eyes took in every inch, and her mind processed it well enough that she was blushing as red as her dyed hair.

"...Xiao Long must never know I'm into this. Ever." She looked around shiftily, before she approached the vendor.

"I'll take these."

* * *

"Blake? Blake?" Jaune looked around for the catgirl...and found her.

She was leaning by a rack, her eyes heavy-lidded. The fur slip around her chest that preserved her modesty was slipping a bit, revealing black lingerie, and she had a slightly elated, spaced out look on her face.

"Hey, Blake. Uh...sorry I kinda abandoned you...uh..."

"Jaune...do you see flying pigs?"

"Huh?"

"...I think I see them..." The catgirl giggled, pointing at random spots in the air. "Boop! I think I made one turn into a kitten."

Jaune smelled something on her, which he recognized as catnip. "Dammit. She's-"

"Did I mention that you're hot?"

"W-what?!" The boy turned red.

"Yeah...you're totally hot..." At this, the catgirl began to hug him tightly. Jaune struggled against her; despite that they were about the same height and size, Blake was a fair bit stronger than he expected.

"Oooh! You cheeky boy..." She giggled and kissed Jaune full on the lips.

"Mmmmmhhhmmm!"

"BACK OFF GIRL HE'S MINE!"

"Wha-"

They were immediately cut off by the sight of Ren, rushing at them, trenchcoat rippling with the speed. He smashed into Jaune...and of course the impact knocked them both unconscious. They were on the floor in a heap.

"...I was kissing him..." Blake looked as indignant as she could, which she didn't, couldn't when she was this hopped up on catnip. Nora trailed slowly behind where Ren had pounced from.

"Ren. Ren! Dammit." She sighed. "...Blake...oh Dust no."

Blake giggled and resumed poking the air, sighing happily.

* * *

Velvet spotted Weiss first. Weiss was walking away from her, with two bags full of books. She steeled herself, filling herself with resolve.

"Right, Scarlatina, we're doing this. I'm going to go up to her, hug her, and ask her out.

This'll be the day Weiss FINALLY gets together with me." She walked towards her and hugged her from behind.

"Ah! Velvet?!"  
"H-hey...Weissy-chan..."

"Uh, hi!"  
"...d-do you...want..."

"Want what?"

"...t-to...g-"

Unluckily for both of them, Ruby spotted her next. At the sight of seeing Velvet all over her Weiss...well...

"OH NO YOU DON'T SHE'S MINE GIRL"

The impact knocked several stalls over, and all three of them unconscious in a heap on the floor.

* * *

Yang sighed irritably, dragging both of her unconscious buddies along to the rendezvous point. She saw Nora and a spaced-out Blake, both dragging along an unconscious Ren, who was hugging an equally out-of-it Jaune.

The blonde brawler shook her head. "Well...something crazy happened..."

"...let's go before Ren gets any more ideas."

"Riiiight."

Suffice to say, the car trip back was silent and awkward, and for some reason, Ren was STILL hugging Jaune in his sleep. Blake spent the entirety of it giggling to herself; the effects of the Dust-imbued catnip didn't wear off until the next day, where she spent most of it with a splitting headache.

Ren made them all swear to never speak of it again.

* * *

_Meanwhile...back at the convention..._

Ozpin watched Ruby's collision with Velvet, drinking a mug of coffee. His normally messy silver hair was now in a smooth, round bowl, and his green coat and grey trousers swapped out for an all-black ensemble, with a Yasogami High uniform jacket on top. He nodded.

"Yes, very interesting. Wouldn't you think...Tohsaka-san?"

Glinda looked irritably at him. Her normally platinum-blonde hair, kept in a bun, was dyed black and placed into twin pigtails. Her cape and white blouse were gone and replaced with a red, thick sweater, with a white, thin cross emblazoned across the middle. She sighed.

"Do I have to, Ozpin?"

"Of course!"

Glinda swallowed her pride.  
"...yes...I think so...Yu-sempai..." She blushed and looked away, muttering curses to her partner and superior.

"And?" Glinda glared at him...but she sighed.

"Yes, Yu-sempai, God-Emperor of Swag, King of All Harems, it is interesting."

"Yes.  
I am indeed the God-Emperor of Swag. Yes indeed." He smirked.

He enjoyed messing with Glinda. He enjoyed her expression while embarrassed.

He found it strangely cute.

* * *

**END**

* * *

** A/N: Woo, that was long! Well, now that that's over and done with, I think I failed in trying to portray Kagami and Konata properly. Blame me for not watching Lucky Star beforehand. *sigh* On the plus side, I say sorry to everyone who expected Penny to cosplay as Irelia, but the Nu-13 reference was asking for it. Also, to everyone calling for a crossover, in addition to Lucky Star, there's ONE more crossover. Guess who; I'll give you a cookie if you name the character and the game :3**

**So...yeah. I know this'll be a tough act to follow, but I'll follow it anyway! Next chapter...and this subject is one I've always wanted to do...Weiss Reacts to Deathfics!**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Leave your reviews, suggestions, praise and criticisms in the reviews, and I hope you have a great day! 'Till next time!**


	11. Weiss Reacts to Deathfics!

Weiss Reacts to Deathfics!

**A/N: I'm BAAAAAAAAAACK! I WAS thinking of doing a quick piece about shipping fics on Valentine's Day, but I had some other stuff to do. Sorry guys :c So, instead, I'll give you this reaction. Woo!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Ruby would be even more moe.**

* * *

Weiss sat at the desk, sniffling; she'd gotten a cold in the last week and, seeing as it was now vacation, had decided to stay inside, wrapped in the large, mink coat she'd worn to the Animecon several weeks ago, browsing through fanfiction.

"Achoo! R-Ruby?" The heiress looked around for her partner, and she found her walking just behind the chair, holding two mugs of hot chocolate.

"Uh, I got these for both of us..."

"Thanks." Weiss sniffled again. "Y-You didn't have to stay...

Ruby shrugged. "Of course I did! I wasn't going to leave you here, alone! And besides, Yang said I shouldn't come with her and Blake, said she was doing something private..."

* * *

"Yang, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Of course!"

"What was the maple syrup for?"

"I need it for the rubber bands and our escape plan?"

"Are you sure spying on Professor Goodwitch dancing around in her Rin costume is a good idea?"

"Positive. And you'll get all the tuna sandwiches you want if you help me."

"..."

"And I won't show Jaune all the love letters you wrote him."

"W-what? Those were private!"

"I won't tell Weiss you did either."

"...I've never hated you so much, Yang."

"So you're in?"

"...if you tell Jaune, I will end you."

* * *

"Oh! I just realised! I need to get some snacks! I'll be right back!" With that, the younger girl ran out of the dorm, leaving Weiss alone.

"Hm...wait, what's this?" She briefly circled her cursor over a curious looking story, "Scatter", featuring her and Ruby. By this time, she was used to seeing people she personally knew on these 'fanfics' , and it hardly surprised her- who couldn't like the fun-loving Yang, or the ninja-like Blake, or the cute, loveable, moe Ruby, whose eyes were like the moon's light on a lake at night and her hair was as-

"Okay, those thoughts went somewhere weird. I-I don't like her like that!" She shook her head and clicked on the story.

* * *

Weiss sipped her hot chocolate, looking carefully at the screen. She scratched her head.

"Okay...so why doesn't she have her weapon?

And why am I kidnapped? Why does nearly every story in the sight have me in some inferior position?!" She sighed and continued scrolling down.

...

"Okay...now...wait, what? Where did that...oh Dust..."

"I-Is she going to be...wait...how did that Grimm... and is that me making a love confession to her?! I swear how many of these put me in love with her? I-it's not like I find her cute, o-or huggable, Dust dammit!" The heiress blushed slightly at the thought, before...

"...she dies? Okay, this can't be the end, right?" She scrolled down through a funeral scene. "I'm not that weak..."

"...a-and is that me...did nobody get to her in time?" Weiss frowned and read the ending.

* * *

_And at night, Weiss slept alone in her bed, sobbing herself to sleep, while crying out protests to the cruel world that had taken away her beloved. Some nights, some said that the only words they ever heard from her house was "Ruby". Her mournful cries were as a child's plaintive cry, one begging to have something they could not have._

_Yang came over, some days, and others Blake, in an attempt to console her, yet there would be no consoling._

_That day, Ruby Rose had committed the ultimate sacrifice to save her beloved._

_And Weiss' heart died with her._

* * *

"...t-that is...t-that is not what I'd do!" She blinked. "I...I would not just sit there and wallow in my tears!"

"No way! That is NOT the Schnee way! What I would do is...well..."The heiress found herself for a lack of words. She had just realised that she wouldn't KNOW what to do in such a situation.

For all of her planning and forethought, not one of them factored in that Ruby, in all of their dangerous, life-or-death missions, might actually die.

Weiss felt her heart twinge at the thought of losing her partner.

"B-Besides...that couldn't REALLY happen...R-Ruby's always fine...she wouldn't j-just die...right?" She said to herself in an unsure tone.

Maybe two years ago, back when she was a mean, horrible, bigoted hag of a girl, she could have factored in life without Ruby by her side- not romantically, mind, but platonically. The intervening years, however, had brought them closer than ever.

And now she was many things to her. Her partner, her leader, her...it was hard to say what they were, in Weiss' opinion- they weren't just friends, but they were not lovers.

"A-As if we'd be lovers! T-that'd never work..." She was still unsure. The thought of Ruby's potential death wrenched at her heart.

"N-no way she would die, right?"

The heiress' eyes welled with tears.

* * *

"BLAKE HELP ME"

"I can't! She's got me too!"

"HOW DARE YOU ENTER MY ROOM!"  
"Ah! Professor Goodwitch! Please!"

"W-where are they?!"

"Where are what?!"  
"MY PICTURES OF OZPIN WHILE ASLEEP  
GIVE THEM TO ME

I NEED TO BLACKMAIL HIM AND I WANT TO LOOK AT THEM"

"Wait...y-you like him?!"  
"WHAT?! I NEVER SAID THAT! H-HE'S TOO STUPID FOR ME! AN I-IDIOT! BESIDES I WOULD NEVER GO..." As she realised that her denial was altogether too revealing, Glynda's tone suddenly changed abruptly to a more peaceful, altogether more threatening one.  
"Just for that...just for making me reveal my other side...I'll have to ...execute you."

Yang's eyes widened.

"Wait wha-BLAKE HELP"

It was too late for Yang. Her partner was already too far gone.

* * *

Ruby hummed to herself as she brought the cookies back into RWBY dorm. She found her partner, looking blearily at her, as if she'd been crying.

"Weiss? Are you-

"Ruby...have you ever thought about..."Weiss choked slightly. "...about what would h-happen...if you died?"  
"No..."

"B-because...i-if you did...I-I just want you to know that I...I would be torn up inside." The heiress gave Ruby a meaningful look.

"Uh...are you sure you aren't delirious? I'm going to always be around, Weiss. I'm not leaving you."

"B-But what if you...you don't come back from a mission? O-Or you-"  
"Quit fretting about it." The younger girl came over, placing her cookie plate on a cleared part of the desk, hugging her partner tightly.

"I would never ever EVER leave you behind, Weiss. You understand me?"  
"B-but what if-  
"I'm going to be careful." Ruby smiled. "I USED to be a dolt who didn't understand death...but now...I know why people fear it so much."

"I...I just couldn't imagine life without you...as a...partner..."

"Neither could I." The younger girl hugged Weiss tightly.

Weiss felt Ruby's warmth keenly and returned the hug as tightly as she could, trying not to cry. Maybe it was because she was a bit ill, but she'd felt emotionally vulnerable and lonely, and she'd thought Ruby would leave her alone.

But now she knew.

Ruby would never just die on her like that.

"Now, what gave you that idea?" The crimsonette looked at the screen, while her inner self bounced around happy.

'OHMYDUSTOHMYDUSTSHELIKESMESOMUCHSHEDMISSMEOHMYDREAMSARECOMINGTRUEMAYBEONEDAYSHELLRETURNMYLOVE

DON'T WORRY MY BELOVED WEISS WE'LL BE TOGETHER ONE DAY'

And Weiss had not a clue what was going on inside her head.

* * *

Velvet frowned. She looked up at the ceiling.

"Elf-kun, Weissy-chan is MINE. MINE. I SWEAR. IF YOU WRITE HER WITH JAUNE OR RUBY, I WILL FIND YOU AND DO BAD THINGS TO YOU...

S-sorry...I-I just love Weissy-chan so much...I-I'll...leave you to write...s-sorry..." She blushed and hid her face in her Weiss head pillow.

* * *

Eventually, the older girls, their prize safely tucked away in Gambol Shroud's scabbard- "It's the only place she'd never look!"- returned to the dorm, absolutely blasted, exhausted, and looked to all the world as if they'd been in the middle of a hurricane.

"...never again."

"Agreed."

"...I-I never knew maple syrup could be used like that..."

"Or paperclips..."

They both nodded at each other, shuddering at the memory of their punishment, and then looking at the sight on one of the beds.

Weiss was lying in Ruby's arms, smiling. They were both asleep, and the latter had her arm wrapped around the former tightly. They were embracing, and Ruby had a blush on her face and a small smile on her own face as she slept.

Yang looked at Blake cheekily. The catgirl sighed and produced a camera, exasperated.

"Go nuts."

"...this is going on Dustbook."

"If you said I had any part in it, I'm telling Jaune about your love letters."

"W-what?! W-where did you find those?!"  
"The same place you hid the yaoi manga you stole from Weiss."

"...so you're thinking like me now, Belladonna." She smirked. "Sneaky girl."

Blake simply gave her an enigmatic smile.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Woo, White Rose ship tease! Don't worry, JaunexWeiss shippers, you'll get your tease soon. **

**The next chapter will be...Weiss Reacts to Flamers! Yay! liek omg if u leve bad revie falming nob lol jk**

**In the meantime, read, review, enjoy and have a great day! Until next time!**


	12. Weiss Reacts to Crack Pairings!

Weiss Reacts to Crack Pairings!

**A/N: Hey guys. I know you expected a chapter on flaming, and I was indeed working on writing it. However, the content of the finished chapter was, to be quite frank, not up to my standards, possibly controversial and hurtful to others, and I don't really want to be a jerk, so I decided to scrap that idea and do a more comedic crack pairing chapter instead. Sorry for the let-down, but enjoy your ship tease!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Yang would be doing Tifa cosplays.**

* * *

Weiss was just merrily browsing the Dustnet for fanfiction, as she was always doing nowadays. Since someone had managed to steal half of her stash of yaoi manga –Weiss blushed at the thought of reading those- she had not much else to read.

Until she happened upon something peculiar, nothing had caught her eye. It was a normal, decent quality fan story; nothing too special, except for the pairing right in the description.

"...Blake and Penny? Ruby and Cardin? ME AND JAUNE?! WHAT THE DUST?!"

The heiress furiously clicked on the link and read through it closely, curious and somewhat irritated that yet another person had shipped her with the JNPR team leader.

He was a Dust-damned _idiot._ Weiss, after all, didn't find that adorable, or attractive, or somewhat compelling, and she certainly didn't want to help the guy out and maybe-

"Okay, that thought went somewhere bad."

* * *

Velvet protested.

"ELF-KUN. SHE IS MINE. I SWEAR IF YOU SHIP HER WITH JAUNE I WILL POUT AT YOU UNTIL YOU DIE FROM CUTENESS."

* * *

Meanwhile, in the JNPR dorm straight across the dorm from them, Jaune had happened upon the exact same fanfiction.

"Whoa...who'd ship Blake with Penny? I don't even think they met each other..."Jaune wondered. Ren chimed in. "It's original, at least."

"Yeah, but do you think they met each other at least once?"

"Don't even think they did in canon." He shrugged. "As of Episode 16, probably not."

"And really, Ruby with Cardin? What?"

"Ok, that one's suspicious. Open it up. I want to see what that's about." Ren went over to Jaune to read the monitor as Jaune opened up the story.

* * *

"WHAT. W...no, just...no! What? When...WHEN DID CARDIN BECOME NICE?!" The heiress could not believe her eyes. Cardin, even though he'd lightened up in the intervening two years, was still somewhat of a jerkass, even if he had his nice moments. Yet this fanfic had practically turned him into a saint-

* * *

Cardin sneezed.

"Did someone mention my name-Oh, right, sorry." He looked around at the kids surrounding him and gave them an apologetic look. "Where was I, again?"

"You were at the part where the knight saves the princess!" One child said cheerily. The boy smiled and continued reading.

The teacher accompanying him muttered. "I see he's got an eye for charitable acts. He doesn't look it, but a boy who wants to volunteer for a reading session in his vacation for a poor school..." They nodded approvingly.

* * *

"I mean, okay, he got nicer, but seriously, this isn't just nice. This is practically..." The heiress sighed. "It's just a fanfic, it's just a fanfic, MST3K mantra, yadda yadda...

Alright...I can...live with a nice Cardin...but why would he take any interest in Ruby of all people? I mean, isn't Ruby a little young for him? And why would Ruby like him of all people? I mean, they're not a match at all! This doesn't work. I don't like it." She shook her head.

"And no, this isn't because I may or may not be interested in that little dunce of a girl. Of course not!" She said to nobody in particular.

* * *

"Blake and Penny? Really?" Ren blinked in confusion as Jaune nodded. "Well...it makes little sense...but hey, they mesh really well together.

I mean, Blake's all quiet and aloof and calm, and Penny, from what I know of her from Animecon-"

"Never speak about that again, Arc."

"Sorry, but I had to. From what Ruby told me and what I know, she's quite hyperactive, friendly and kinda...kinda like a squirrel on a sugar high with a death wish."

"Contrasts...I like the idea." Ren nodded in approval. "It's still absolute crack."

"I know. But you have to agree it's somewhat cute, right?"

"I can imagine Nora squeeing all over it. So yes."

* * *

Speaking of Nora...

"AH NORA NO"  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING"  
"Sloth stuff!"

"BUT THAT ISN'T WHERE YOU-"

"Oh, hold still, Yang! I'm trying to emulate the majestic hanging gesture of a sloth!"  
"RUBES HELP"

"DAMMIT MY HANDS ARE CURSED THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED TO LIVE LIFE"

Nora made sloth noises in response.

* * *

"Right...so at least the progression is realistic..." Weiss nodded in approval. "Apart from the nonsensicality of the pairings, they're quite...compelling. It's like the writer knew what he was writing about." She continued reading, having forgotten that-

"OH NO HE DIDN'T." She pointed at the screen with a quivering finger. "SERIOUSLY?! I DON'T EVEN LIKE JAUNE. THIS IS SUCH CRACK!"

She'd forgotten in all her contemplation that the story featured her and Jaune paired up as it's only- at least, to both the fandom and Beacon at large- logical pairing.

* * *

Jaune and Ren cringed at the sounds coming from RWBY dorm.

"Weiss?"  
"Weiss."

"Should we go check?"

"I dunno...pretty sure Weiss is probably...busy..." Jaune hesitated. "Uh...I'll go...I'll just bring my shield in case something goes wrong."

Ren looked out for him. "Careful. You know what happened to the last person who made her angry."

* * *

Dove Bronzewing huddled in a corner, shivering and shaking.

"No...the ice...ice everywhere...please...no..."

* * *

Jaune knocked tentatively on the door to RWBY dorm. Sounds of furious screaming rebounded inside. He wondered briefly if it wasn't too late to turn back and keep himself alive, but he stiffened his resolve and knocked again.

"W-Weiss...it's me...Jaune..."

The screaming stopped. Shortly, the heiress answered the door, her face ruddy and her normally well-groomed hair somewhat in disarray. Jaune was somewhat distracted by it; it seemed to play tricks with his eyes, seemed to glitter brightly-

"Arc? What do you want?"

"Um..." He shook himself out of his trance. "Um...uh...well..."

"Well?"

"I...I heard screaming and I wanted to go over and-"

"Just another fanfiction featuring you and me being shipped. Again."

"Wait, did this have Blake and Penny as well?" Weiss' eyes widened. "Yes...yes it did. Why, did you read it as well?"

"Just now, in fact."

"Uh." The heiress blinked. "Do you not think that's unrealistic?"

"I personally agree with the Ruby and Cardin thing. I mean, Cardin's nice now and all, but I still don't think Ruby would go for him. Would you?" Jaune chuckled nervously- an angry Weiss was possibly more dangerous than all the Grimm Remnant could throw at them.

"You could say that. Blake and Penny, though... I mean, the contrast is...hilarious."

"What, really? I mean, I agree."

"You do?"

"Yeah, totally. Uh..." The blond boy suddenly felt as if he could capitalise on this moment of rapport. "Hey...listen..."

"Yes?"

"Um...you know you could write something yourself?"

Weiss nodded. "I've been considering it...but I never really thought of doing it..."

"Well...why don't you do it? You always complain about bad fanfiction, so why don't you write your own?"  
"I...well...I wouldn't know how to." She confessed, shrugging. Jaune saw this as a definite opportunity.

"Well...why don't we talk about it over a hot chocolate? Just the two of us? Outside? As friends?"

"I...well...if it isn't a date, Arc. Remember that. It's not a date." The heiress nodded, a hand on her hip.

"So, tonight then?"

"Tonight."

* * *

Weiss thought about writing her own fanfiction. It was a genuinely interesting idea, for her at least. She'd thought about it before, briefly, but she'd never actually had time to put in her ideas.

Sighing, she closed down her word processor for the umpteenth time and looked back at the other fanfiction.

"...maybe...hm..." She nodded. "A romance fanfiction might be a good thing to start...I have not got a clue how to write one, but maybe...maybe Jaune might help...and didn't he say Ren did as well...hm.

Well, it would make a better contrast to all those bad ones I've seen floating around, certainly. In fact, I should." She nodded, but first...

She decided to leave one review. As weird as it was, this fanfiction had pretty much inspired her into writing her own, and the heiress felt she couldn't just ignore this unknown person for their inspiring her.

* * *

-From: **TheRealIceHeiress**

Interesting concept, well done. The pairings are quite...peculiar, but you have managed to convince me of their potential and spin a good story out of it. I disapprove of the Weiss x Jaune pairing- I have no interest in that dolt, believe me. I don't find him attractive. At all.

However, you have done something else- indirectly, you have managed to rekindle my interest in writing, and so, I have to thank you for that. I hope to read more from you. Good day.

-Weiss Schnee

* * *

Later that night...

"So you left him a review?" Jaune inquired while sipping his hot chocolate.

"Indeed." Weiss sipped her own. "I thanked him."

"For what?"

"Inspiring me."

"That's awfully nice of you."

"Don't test me, Jaune." Weiss shot back. "I AM nice."

"You sure about that, snow angel?"

"Quit calling me that."

"Can't help it if you've got the looks of one-" Weiss gave him a glare that would kill even a Nevermore. "...sorry..."

"...this is not a date."

"...so..." Jaune hastily changed the subject. "You're going to write your own?"

"Yes."

"What about?"

"Well...there was that one series I saw at Animecon...I believe it was called...Phoenix Ranger Featherman?" She shrugged. "I mean, I've watched a couple of episodes...I could..."

"Well, better to start watching more to get a feel of the material. You know what I mean?"

"I suppose." She nodded. "But...still...feel free to call me out on it if I decide to write a 'crack' pairing. Seriously."

"I know, right?" Jaune laughed. "I mean, seriously."

"Heh. You look happy. "

"Can't help it. I'm drinking hot chocolate, on a cold night, with the most attractive friend I have." He smirked. "While talking about fanfiction."

Weiss gave him a warm smile. "...you consider me a friend...that's...oddly sweet of you."

"Yeah. I suppose."

They continued chatting on, even as they walked back to the dorms.

* * *

Meanwhile...

Glynda looked shiftily about, before opening up her profile.

"...nobody must know." She looked carefully through the stories she'd written, including "Love in All The Wrong Places", a fanfic she'd written shipping, among other things, Blake and Penny.

"Yes...one thousand views." She laughed. "This will be my masterpiece...wait...somebody reviewed this?"

She opened it up.

"...Miss Schnee knows? SHE KNOWS?!"

The sound of Glynda's "NO!" rang through the halls that night.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Wee, JaunexWeiss ship tease. And crack pairings. Disclaimer here, but I don't support nor bash any of the pairings mentioned in the story. At all. Ship what you want, I'm not going to hurt you :P**

**So yeah. Next chapter, thanks to the brilliant writer LittleSunDragon-Chan, will be RWBY Reacts to Dear Fanfiction! Thanks for letting me write about it, a little shout out to you, hope my efforts don't disgrace your work!**

**Read, enjoy, leave your reviews, comments and thoughts, and have a good day! Until next time!**


	13. Special Chapter 4: Dear Fanfiction!

RWBY Reacts to Dear Fanfiction!

**A/N: Another special chapter, devoted to Little Sun Dragon-Chan's Dear Fanfiction! Woo. Assuming I don't get burned alive for this, this'll be one of the first chapters devoted to our beloved RWBY characters reacting to various (actual) fanfic! Yeah!**

**Oh and go read it, it's short but hilarious. **

**And yes, I DID just write a meta-reaction fic about another meta-reaction fic, depicting RWBY characters reacting to themselves reacting to other fanfic. It's complicated. I like it.**

**DISCLAIMER: Dear Fanfiction belongs to Little Sun Dragon-Chan. No funny otherwises. **

**RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise everything I did in Weiss Reacts would be canon. Yes that includes yandere!Velvet.**

* * *

Ruby woke with a start, shaking her head, a half-finished milk in her right hand and a half-eaten cookie in her left. She'd fallen asleep, _again_, while watching Phoenix Ranger Featherman.

"Uh...I missed the ending again!" She muttered, shoving the cookie in her mouth. Shaking her head, she sighed. "It was a simulcast too..."

"I'll just have to watch it later..." The crimsonette exhaled loudly and began to browse the Dustnet...before a strange thought occurred to her.

"What DOES Weiss do on this, anyway?" She looked around shiftily for a sign of her partner; she was nowhere in sight. "Hm..." With several clicks, she was on Weiss' account and browsing through her favourite stories.

"Hm...Straight Through...hey, the profile picture looks like the person who plays Pink Argus...hm...what fandom is that? I never knew she was in Persona...hang on..." She blinked at the one underneath.

It was labelled 'Dear Fanfiction', having been favourited the day after Animecon. The author's name was remarkably similar to Yang's own- maybe she was Yang's alt account? She knew Blake had one- NightshadeKitten, infamous writer of trollfics- but was this a trollfic?

Her curiosity sufficiently engaged, Ruby clicked on it.

* * *

"Dear Fanfiction...wait...is this supposed to be from-awww, Yang put ME first." Ruby smiled as she read through the 'letter'.

"I am not a cookie...who said I was addicted to cookies?!" She looked at the screen. "I'm not addicted to cookies! Yang, how could you?!" The crimsonette whimpered. "Of course I'm not addicted..." She reassured herself as she unwrapped her third pack of cookies- her own secret stash was now located in her underwear cabinet, the only place nobody would look.

* * *

Yang was outside, eating said cookie stash.

"THIS IS DELICIOUS!"  
"I agree." Nora held one up like it was a trophy. "Nothing like a good chocolate chip cookie to start the day! Why don't we ask Rub-"

"Sssshhhhhh, she isn't supposed to know Nora! This will be our secret, remember?"

"Ooooohhhh, so we're on a secret mission? Why didn't you tell me? I would've brought my sloth costume and everything!" The quirky girl pouted.

"Uhhh...yeah...I guess I forgot..."

* * *

"And I don't cry over spilled milk! Ok, maybe I get a little annoyed...but I don't cry!" She said to herself indignantly.

"A-and...I don't force Weiss to make love with me!" She blushed. "T-that's...that's..." For some reason, she couldn't come up with an appropriate word to counter it.

"...a-and what does Yang know about my s-sexuality..." Ruby blushed even harder. "...I-I can't help that s-she's so adorable-WAIT WHAT NO. BAD THOUGHTS. BAD.

WHY AM I CURSED TO FIND LITTLE TSUNDERE HEIRESSES CUTE AND LOVEABLE."

* * *

Weiss sneezed.

"Did someone mention my name?"

* * *

Ruby then sat there for several moments, muttering to herself to get the thought of rolling around in their white sheets, hugging Weiss to herself, tightly, while _naked_-

"DAMMIT BRAIN THINK HAPPIER THOUGHTS THINK NOT WEISS THOUGHTS UGH-

Oh wait she mentioned Crescent Rose." Her lewd fantasies forgotten, Ruby took some pride in remembering the forging of her sniper-scythe hybrid. Then...right then, it hit her.

"...is this supposed to be a letter to all those fanfic writers who do stuff like this?"

* * *

Velvet poked her head up.

"Elf-kun, can I have a part in this one apart from breaking the fourth wall-"  
"NO."  
"But-"

"GODDAMMIT I'M TRYING TO HANDLE ENOUGH META HERE I DON'T NEED YOUR YANDERE FANTASIES CLOGGING UP MY STORIES"

"...but Weissy-chan..." She sighed.

* * *

"Me and Weiss...not all that bad, me and Blake- weird, me and Yang-NO JUST NO, me and Jaune...maybe, he's kinda nice and adorable in that dorky way...me and Roman? What?!

I always thought he was whipped for Cinder!" Ruby looked confused.

"Hang on, if this person just said...it can't be Yang...then...well, it makes more sense, I suppose. I do agree with the whole "If I see another weird pairing"...

I mean, what kind of sick person ships me with a Beowulf?!

...Weiss is the only-WAIT MOUTH STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP THIS" She kept her mouth shut and hoped that whatever god was listening, Weiss didn't hear her.

"...ok, I think I better stop reading this. But first...review! And then more milk! And adventures!

* * *

-From: **DaRougeFightingHood**

this is amazing you got me perfectly in that

but

i swear

some idiot ships me with a beowulf

ill do bad things

like breaking kneecaps

or get nora yeah nora likes that stuff and sloths

have you ever wondered what a sloth says

oh, sorry rambling uh nice fanfic keep going and uh awesome

-Love , Ruby 3

* * *

Ruby then collected her cloak and rushed outside, on a journey to acquire more milk!

* * *

...just as Weiss rounded the corner opposite and into RWBY dorm.

"Hm...I left my jacket here. Wait...why is my...was Ruby using MY account?" She rushed to her chair, looking at the fanfic carefully.

"This is supposed to be from Ruby's perspective? And they said she wasn't a lesbian?" The heiress tilted her head. "If Ruby was as straight as a board, may my hair turn into wings. I highly doubt that...unless she's into Jaune or something." She shuddered. "Well...wait, this has a second chapter? About me?

...it seems this ElfCollaborator person wasn't alone in noting down my thoughts. Granted, whoever this person is, their aims and methods are different. " She nodded as she turned to the chapter about her.

"This should be an interesting-

WHO SAID I WAS HEARTLESS I SWEAR

I HAVE A HEART

I LIKE CUTE THINGS

AND WHO SAID I WAS A WHINY BITCH THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW ME

I HAVE FEELINGS TOO"

* * *

Roman, Ren, Jaune, Ozpin, Blake, Yang, Cardin, Penny, and even Adam Taurus all sneezed at once.

* * *

"I DON'T CALL PEOPLE PEASANTS! NOT ALL OF THEM! AND..." The heiress was absolutely breathless, before mastering her temper, by breathing calmly, counting one to ten, thinking of her happy place, imagining Ruby and her on a-

"Okay, I don't know where that came from." She blinked hurriedly and erased the thought from her mind. "...yes, indeed. I DON'T enjoy...having encounters with my team OR Jaune. That would be incredibly awkward ...a-and indecent! Yes, c-completely i-indecent!"

"And why would I have a trail of ice? I don't even have ice powers! That's Myrtenaster! Dust, if whoever wrote this is right, some people are forgetting my Semblance...

AND OF COURSE I DON'T PET BLAKE'S CAT EARS

THEY ARE FLUFFY BUT STILL

I DON'T PET THEM

I RUB MY HAND OVER THEM WHILE SHE SLEEPS" Weiss' face turned a dark shade of red suddenly.

* * *

Yang smirked. "So she DOES like Blake's cat ears! I knew it!"

"Weiss likes cat ears? No wonder she wanted Ruby to dress like a half-naked cat girl...I personally wanted her to dress up in my sloth costume..."

"...blackmail material~"

* * *

"Okay...that came out...um...and I...I do like ice skating with friends, but...and I find sorbet delicious.

Hm." Her thoughts mastered, she left a review on the fanfiction, leaving her own thoughts.

* * *

-From : **TheRealIceHeiress**

Bravo on your conveying of my opinions upon certain writer's thoughts and misconceptions about me. It will probably do much to set the record straight. I know you are not alone in doing such a thing, but as you have managed to make it much more interesting than any other I have seen thus far, well done.

However, I must correct you on several things. I do indeed enjoy skating with a friend. That includes Jaune Arc. No, there are no romantic undertones. He is far too much of an idiot for me.

And I would NEVER call someone barbaric. Moronic, maybe. Barbaric, I save for what some people call 'mature' fanfiction that contains nothing but sex between me and my partner- she is YOUNGER THAN ME. I digress. So, I commend you on your writing skill, and I hope to see more from you.

-Weiss Schnee

* * *

Her thoughts left on it, Weiss decided to take a look at the next letter, Blake's, before yawning.

"I think I want to take a nap, actually...eh." She got up and climbed into her bunk to take a nap, her other plan forgotten. Discussing yaoi manga with Pyrrha could wait.

* * *

_Ten minutes later..._

Blake climbed in through the dorm window, a tuna sandwich in her hand liberated from its packaging. With catlike tread, she walked quietly to her own bunk, seeing that her teammate was sound asleep in her bunk.

That is, before something caught her eye.

"What's this, a letter by me?" She sat down at the desk, taking care to make sure Weiss did not awake. Taking quick bites from her tuna sandwich, she read quickly through to make sure she got the context.

"Alright, so the author has written these from our perspectives towards fanfic writers...interesting." She nodded.

"Cat traits? That's preposterous!" Blake said as her ears twitched and she blinked her golden, feline eyes. "And...wait, hang on, of course I like tuna! Ok, maybe it gets tiring after a while, but tuna's my favourite.

AND I SWEAR IF ANYONE MENTIONS CATNIP I WILL END THEIR LIVES." Yes, she still remembered Animecon's incident. Getting intoxicated on catnip was, to be frank, not a nice experience.

"As for milk...I am quite partial to it...but I wouldn't say I liked it all that much."

"Yeah...of course, Ninjas of Love is definitely not smut. I agree whole-heartedly." She agreed, almost too quickly.

* * *

Yang poked her head out of the Ninjas of Love book she'd stolen from Blake's stash. She'd also stolen one of Weiss' yaoi manga.

"...yep, it's complete and utter smut. I love it!"

* * *

"...being paired with Ruby and Weiss...no, those two have so much sexual tension I could cut it with a knife and take it out with a spoon. With Yang...possibly." She looked around shiftily for any sign of the blonde brawler. "Hm...wait, what am I saying? She's my friend! ...although that is a nice use for maple syrup-ok, indecent thoughts, why do you cloud my mind so?

Speaking of such...if anything Adam was practically getting TAUGHT by me. I couldn't see why anyone would ship me with him...and what kind of nonsense is shipping me with Sun? That doesn't work! I mean, he has those abs and that smile and-great, I'm turning into Ruby again." She sighed.

"And why would I scratch their faces? Silly person. I wouldn't do that." She sighed. "If this author got me right, I'd do something much worse."

"Salmon, huh? Well, who doesn't like it, I wonder?" The catgirl nodded in agreement, before licking a little bit of tuna that had gotten on the back of her hand.

"Well then, I'd better leave what I think about it on it..."

* * *

From: **NekomataNinja**

Intriguing, very intriguing. I like it. I disagree with your attempt to speak for my tastes in fish and milk, but otherwise, very well played.

I look forward to seeing more.

-Blake B.

* * *

Her work done, the catgirl slinked onto her bunk, wolfing down the last bit of her tuna sandwich and went onto reading the yaoi manga she'd also stolen from Weiss' stash.

* * *

Finally, Yang entered the dorm, humming to herself.

"I burn! Can't hold me back...like a fever I'll take-oooh, what's this?" She zoomed to the computer.

"Dear Fanfiction...written by someone with nearly the same profile name as moi? From RWBY as well? Yang likey. Where's mine?" She clicked onto her chapter looking through it quickly.

"...me and Blake? Me dragging her into a janitor's cabinet to...have my way with her...sounds kinky. Noted." Yang heard Blake's surprised 'WHAT?!' from the bunk to her right and smiled.

"Veeeeerry kinky. I'd definitely want to take her, on the wall, making her moan and-" The shutting of the door behind her told her that Blake had left the room, presumably embarrassed. "Oh, me, you make me laugh~"

"And whoever wrote this is right. Who wouldn't want this fine piece of ass?" She giggled. "But seriously. If ANYONE TOUCHES MY HAIR...whatever Weiss' "execution" does, I'll double it. And then add fire. And knee breaking."

"And eewwww, why would I go out with Junior? I barely know the guy! Besides, Sun's much more fun to be around...but Blake's so fun to tease and hug..." She sighed. "Such conflicting thoughts, it hurts!"

She decided to leave a review.

* * *

From: **Little Sun Dragon-Sempai**

nicely done! I like the idea, keep going and I disagree, taking blake in the janitor's cabinet wouldn't be how I do it, no i'd take her in the staff lounge ;) much kinkier

also nice name! really sorry if i ripped it off, but girl's gotta have a name around here

uh yeah not much else to say well done

-love from yang

* * *

Satisfied, she decided to forward it to several other people she had in mind. Specifically, a certain GoldenGuardian, JadeDragonMonk and SlothLovingShieldmaiden.

"This'll be interesting to see..."

* * *

Meanwhile...

"So...Elf-kun won't write what I want him to write.

I want him to write me and Weissy-chan together.

If so..." Velvet cackled. "I have to fix this.

WEISSY-CHAN AND I WILL BE TOGETHER."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: The last two usernames are Ren and Nora if it wasn't obvious. :P So yeah, meta-reaction to meta-reaction fics! Woo! Yeah!**

**To the author of the brilliant Dear Fanfiction- if you found this wasn't to your standard, I shall present myself for execution, the crime being that I did not do it enough justice and I apologise in advance.**

**Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed this, guys! From here on out, I'll be taking suggestions about what fanfics to spotlight here in Weiss Reacts, and if I can get permission from the writers, it MAY show up in one of my special chapters!**

**The next chapter will be...a surprise! Woo! **

**To end this hideously long author's note, read, enjoy, leave your thoughts, comments and suggestions, and I hope you have a good day! Until next time!**


	14. Velvet-chan's Storytime!

Velvet-chan's Storytime!

**Author's Note: Hey guys, it's Velvet-chan here today! I decided to write my OWN chapter because I have some good ideas, and Elf-kun doesn't want me to share them. Don't worry, he's gone for now, on some official business. Got a spell-checker too, so don't worry. I will FINALLY GET MY BELOVED WEISSY-CHAN TO NOTICE ME**

**Disclaimer: RWBY doesn't belong to me! I'm in it, after all. Otherwise Weiss-sempai would notice me and love me and we'd be together forever~**

* * *

"Why, hi guys, it's me, Velvet!" I waved at the small webcam I'd set up- I was streaming from RWBY dorm. On the bed behind me, an annoyed-looking Weiss was sitting down. I'd managed to dress her up in that cute catgirl costume she'd wanted to put Ruby in and all- and she looks so SEXY IN IT AS WELL~

"Velvet, what the hell are you-"

"Today guys, I'll be reading some nice, interesting fanfic to my lovely assistant, Weiss-chan!" Weiss shot me a glare. "Assistant? Get me out of these, NOW!" She struggled in the ropes I'd bound her in- just a precaution to make sure she doesn't leave me and get someone, like that pesky Ruby, to help her. SHE'S MY GIRL DAMMIT.

"And I don't stream MY reactions! What are you doing?!"

"Sssshhhh, you don't mind Elf-kun doing it, so why me?"

"Elf-kun? Who the hell is that?!" Weiss looked confused. "J-Just get me out of this, Velvet!"

I shook my head, tutting. "Now Weiss-chan...you never pay attention to me, and I love you so much, so please, calm down." I gave her a nice smile, before turning back to my audience.

"Right, the first thing we're going to look at is...this nice fanfic, called "Loneliness", shipping me and Weiss! How coincidental!" With glee, I began reading it.

* * *

"Okay, now, the spelling's a bit bad...how can you misspell "course" as "cuourse"...but I like it!"

Weiss called from behind me. "It's terrible! How can someone write this crap!"

"...I like it! The romance is really interesting and realistic, and I'm not saying this because I like Weiss-chan myself..."  
"Interesting and realistic?! They wrote you into some sort of super-attractive Sue! And then somehow made you win me over with two or three words! What the Dust?!"

"Sorry guys, Weiss-chan's a bit in denial about our relationship-"  
"WHAT RELATIONSHIP?!"

I looked up, hoping for some sort of sign from Elf-kun. "I-I thought writing this chapter w-would give me god powers!"

"What, are you crazy? What god powers? Velvet!" Weiss continued struggling as I waited for a response, but none came.

In fairness, knocking out the author kinda gets that response from him. I had to think of a plan somehow, to make this work. In my defense, I didn't plan this out right; knocking Elf-kun out, taking over, writing a new chapter, and yet I couldn't seem to make Weiss like me!

"LET ME OUT DAMMIT!"

"B-but Weiss-chan...we haven't even finished reading all-"

"I know you're a yandere!"

"I-I'm not psycho! I just love you~"

Weiss continued struggling as I smiled at her and gave her a little, nervous kiss on the cheek. I may not have gained author powers, even as I gained fourth wall breaking, but dammit I would enjoy this while I could.

And the look on Weiss' face was absolutely adorable, with the blushing and the cuteness and-

This is why I love her so much.

* * *

"Ok, second fanfic, The Rose Blooms in Winter, shipping Ruby and Weiss." I continued reading. Weiss was protesting in the background, probably. "...I don't really like the pairing. Unrealistic, it wouldn't work, and besides, why would Weiss like anyone like her? She's into bunnygirls, so I hear. Cute, brunette, bunnygirls-"

"NO I'M NOT"

"Yes you are, Weiss-chan, besides, you love me-"  
"Ok, I think you're a creepy friend, but I don't LOVE you! Where'd you get that idea?!"

"We're meant to be together!"  
"B-"  
"Sssshhh, my love, I'm going to talk to our audience no-" Just then, the door broke down.

Weiss perked up. "Ruby?!"

Indeed, my rival was here. "Velvet? What are you do...WEISS?! WHY-WHAT-WH..." She was blushing; as was I. I mean, seriously, how could you expose so much skin and still be decent?!

"Just HELP ME YOU DUNCE! SHE'S TIED ME UP!"  
"WHAT?!" Ruby looked at me, and I could have sworn there was killing intent in her-

"HHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

OH NO NOT THE BOOT-

* * *

Ruby punted Velvet out of the room through the window, and the bunnygirl shouted "WEISS-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN" as she disappeared into the sky, twinkling. Sighing, Ruby untied her partner, dusting her off. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, if a bit irritated. What's up with her?"  
"She's got a crush on you."  
"I know THAT, you dunce. I meant, what was that about, Elf-kun and chapters and stuff?"

"Now that, I don't know." The crimsonette shrugged. "Wait, was she reading fanfic?"

"Reacting to it. Wait...Elf-kun...wasn't...wait, so she's responsible for writing that story?"  
"Huh?" Ruby looked confused as the heiress deduced several things, before looking irritated. "Okay, no, she can't have. I remember they wrote about her too..."  
"Weiss, is everything alright?"

"Uh...yeah." She dusted herself off before getting on the computer, detaching Velvet's webcam. "Um. Right. So she was trying to show off her reaction to fanfic, just like that one letter fanfic from yesterday..."

"You read it too?"  
"Of course." She shrugged. "It's funny...a lot of people seem to like reading our reaction to fanfiction. Almost as if it's actually funny."

"Who'd find US funny?"

"More to the point, what did Velvet think she was going to achieve? This is my show, dammit, not hers!"

"Show?"  
"Life, whatever." She shrugged. "I think you'd call this a hostile show takeover, right?"

"Uh...you could say that..."

Just then, Jaune, Ren and Nora busted in, weapons drawn.

"We heard screaming!"

"Is Weiss alright?"

"Who needs their knees broken?"

Ruby laughed nervously as she turned to them, next to a half-naked Weiss. "Uh..." Jaune tilted his head at the sight of the heiress and blushed, turning away. Ren and Nora, thankfully, didn't react.

"...Velvet, I'm guessing?" Ren blinked.

"How did you guess?"  
"Either Yang or Velvet would do this. And I know for a fact Yang's busy."

"Uhuh.

"Awww...I can't break Velvet's knees...she won't let me cuddle her then..." Nora frowned and walked off. Jaune awkwardly followed and Ren nodded, leaving as well. Ruby turned back to Weiss, who was looking at her oddly.

"Well?"  
"Uh...you look...nice in that outfit..." The crimsonette blushed.

"...I swear, Ruby, if you tell Yang I was in this, I will kill you."

"...this is our little secret." She giggled.

"It'd better be. Today was odd..." Weiss sighed. "We'll need to check on Velvet some time..."

"Yeah that might help."

The heiress shook her head. Today was very odd indeed.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Woo, okay. Ow, my head hurts. How can she hit that hard? Ow! Right, okay. That was a little experiment. Just for a little background, the original backstory to this was "Weiss Reacts to Hostile Show Takeovers!". Well...she did react to it, alright. And no, taking over my story doesn't give you god powers over everyone in it. Bad Velvet. Bad.**

**Several things; firstly ,the next chapter shall be... Weiss Reacts to Crossovers! Woo! Secondly, I shall be putting up a poll for the next featured story in my profile. Finally, if this chapter put you off, I'm dreadfully sorry; I was mainly using this as an experimental one with first person POV and stuff, really sorry.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. Read, review, and have a good day! Until next time!**


	15. Weiss Reacts to Crossovers!

Weiss Reacts to Crossovers!

**A/N: I'm baaaack~! And this time, I brought stuff! Woo! But first, an apology. To those who expected an RvB crossover, I'm sorry that it won't be like that. I'm unfamiliar with the show- which I accept is good- and trying to refer to it would make me look kinda stupid. :c**

**Still, I hope you guys enjoy the fanfic!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Weiss would be an actual princess.**

**WARNING: Minor spoilers for Fate/stay night and Persona 3.**

* * *

Weiss was bored. Again.

The girl had been sitting at her desk, looking into space for about the last half-hour. Even with the new laptop Ruby had bought her last week- "Surprise early birthday present! Even though your birthday is in like ten months! And...uh...cookies?"- Weiss could not find something to do.

"Bah, why not." She threw her hands up and decided to go delve into the world of fanfiction again.

Nothing to lose, right?

* * *

Meanwhile, Ren was getting irritated.

"Dammit, Nora, I need that!"

"Not until you do it, Ren~ It's only one thing~" Her mischievous voice rung out from somewhere the boy couldn't quite place. He looked around him for any sign of his partner. "What? You never told me what you wanted me to do for you!"

"I wanted you to write a story for me!"

"What?"

"A. Story."

"...so, you stole my pistols and hid them...in the girl's toilet...because you wanted me to write a story for you?!"

"Yes!"

"...Nora Valkyrie, I swear, if you weren't my best friend, you would be dead right now."

"I know~"

* * *

"Crossovers, huh?" Weiss nodded. She'd seen some crossovers before, but lately, the trend seemed to be going towards crossovers of all sorts. For some reason, the fandom really liked to pair RWBY with other series.

"Huh? Okay...Naruto? Blake probably knows what that is..." Weiss noted as she scrolled down the page. "BlazBlue? Ruby plays that with Penny all the time...granted, Penny keeps beating her and she always looks so cute when she lose- Ooookay, that went somewhere bad." She shook her head. "Right, moving on.

Fate/stay night? Wasn't that what Jaune dressed up as a character from? Hm." She opened the story in a separate tab, nodding in interest. "Noted...hm, Warhammer 40k? What's that?" Another tab opened.

"...they seem to really like pairing this with Persona. I wonder why?"

* * *

Meanwhile, in the student lounge!

"Did she just sneeze?"

"Huh?"  
"Did Pink Argus just randomly sneeze?"

"Yeah...I think so, Yang."

"Wouldn't that be a blooper?"

"Isn't this live?"  
"Good point. Someone probably talked about her or something."

"Probably."

* * *

After leaving three stories open on tabs, Weiss dug into the first one.

"...what? Ok...so Saber's secretly a king or something? Bah, I probably shouldn't read this without playing the novel first." She sighed, scrolling down. "Right...okay. This...Grail teleports her here..." Suddenly, a thought occurred to her almost instantly.

...wait, hang on a minute, if this is about us, and this is crossed over with THAT universe...then..." Weiss looked around hastily for anyone matching what Jaune had worn to Animecon out of instinct, before sighing.

"Tch. Probably nothing. I mean, when has it ever affected us like that before, right?" She scoffed and continued reading.

Oh, this would get worse, unbeknownst to the heiress.

Much worse.

* * *

Ren protested to Nora as they walked across the campus back to their dorm.

"You embarrassed me in front of everyone!"

"Ok, Ren, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Nora looked desperate to calm down her normally stoic friend. "Look, it's not like I meant to-"

"Ugh...I'm sorry too, Nora." He sighed. "I'm being too hard on you. But still, you could've just asked!"  
"I didn't know you'd want to! Besides, don't you usually write smut about Weiss and Ruby?"  
"W-what?! H-how did you know?!"

"Smut? What's that?" At this, both of their heads sprung up...and immediately looked down at the figure in front of them.

She was dressed in white and blue armor, with a large battledress covering her legs. In her gauntleted hand was a large, ornate sword. Her eyes were a deep green, and her light blonde hair was kept braided in a long tail going down her back. Ren and Nora both recognized her immediately.

"Saber?"  
"Arturia?"

Saber turned to them, nodding. She may have been shorter than both of them, but she seemed to carry with her an air of nobility- nothing less was expected of the King in Camelot, after all.

"I ask of you...where am I?"

"...Saber-chan~" Ren looked at her in awe. Nora looked unamused.

If this girl had come to sweep HER Ren away...she had to go. Now.

* * *

"Crazy. Why is she so powerful?!" Weiss looked irritated. Thus far, the fanfic had gotten to a point where she and Saber had engaged in battle; Saber won handily. "That's hardly fair! I mean, seriously? How does her anti-magic work against Dust? It's not...exactly magic, is it? And I'd be more manoeuvrable because I'm not lugging around a sword all the time!

Clearly this person did not do the research about me. I am disappoint-"

"Her anti-magic would trump your Semblance, I believe. She's a handy fighter. With far more experience than you."

"And how would you-" She turned around and immediately shut up. Blake was standing there, holding a tablet with stats of Weiss and Saber being compared.

"She would trump you in a physical fight. She has about the same muscle mass as Ruby anyway, and she can."

"Yes, but-"

"Also, the odds are stacked against you here. She has antimagic. You do not. And also, did you bother reading the ending?"

"Huh?"

"She ran out of mana. You won by about three seconds."

"...I'm confused."

"This is why some crossovers are hard." The catgirl shrugged. "Or discouraged."

"You seem to-"

"Weiss! Explain this!" Both heads darted towards the door- or rather, its remains. Nora had smashed it down with Magnhild.

Behind the annoyed girl was...

"Is that...Saber?"

"...I knew it." Weiss sighed. "...why do the weird things always happen to me?!"

"...why does everyone know who I am?" Saber looked confused. "Have any of you seen a tall, lean –"If by that, you mean, have we seen Shirou or Rin, no. You're a bit lost, I'm afraid." Blake sighed. "Come, take a seat. We'll explain. Weiss, you'll need to-"  
"I'd better." The heiress sat down as well, confused and sure that she'd been right. Ren walked in after Saber- or would have, if it wasn't for Nora pulling him back.

"No, Ren!"  
"But-" The boy was immediately silenced as Nora dragged him down the corridor and promptly kissed him- tongue and all- deeply.

Much to Yang's bemusement, and the boy next to her.

* * *

_Ten minutes earlier..._

Yang and Ruby had finished watching a live television special of Phoenix Ranger Featherman. Both felt quite elated, but also hungry.

"Yang, do you know where the munchies are?"

"Uh...I think we need to go down to the canteen."

"How much lien do you have?"  
"Some. Let's go, Rubes."

And so, the pair set down on a merry quest for snacks towards the canteen...or would have. Shortly after they arrived, they saw the worst possible thing that could possibly happen, ever.

* * *

"...WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE OUT OF SNACKS?!"

"I-I'm s-sorry, Miss Xiao Long, but someone bought all of them! W-we won't be getting more for t-two hours!" The shopkeeper cowered underneath his empty stand. Yang looked absolutely furious, while her sister was huddling nearby, mumbling "No cookies...no cookies...".

"WHAT?! WHO BOUGHT ALL OF THEM?! THAT'S SO GREEDY!"

"I-I dunno! Some guy! Blue hair, l-looked like he didn't care! He had money, I took it! I don't even know if he's a student or..."

The brawler sighed. "...fine. Just tell me where this guy went. And I want first dibs on any cookies you get. My sister needs them."

"C-cookies...c-cookies..."

The terrified vendor pointed down the hallway towards RWBY dorm and Yang stormed off, dragging her sister with her.

Eventually, she found the snacks; piled up all on a bench, unattended, pristine. The sisters practically drooled.

"W-we found them!"  
"Cookie?" Ruby looked at her sister inquisitively.

"Yes, sis. Cookie." She smiled and attempted to grab one of the cookie packets-

"Ahem." She froze. "I believe that's mine." Yang turned around and there, she met the perpetrator of the crime of stealing all of their beloved snacks.

Surprisingly, for a guy who had that large pile of snacks to eat, he looked thin. Fairly thin, but he was of average height; Yang reckoned the guy was at least as tall as her. He was wearing black trousers and a black uniform jacket, with a strange insignia she'd never seen before. His hair was blue, with bangs swept over one of his blue eyes. He looked mildly amused.

"Wait, you're Yang?"

"Uh, yeah." She looked befuddled. "And you are?"

"A friend of Jaune's." He shrugged. "Just wanted to check out the place."

"...wait, you're GreatMoonGuardian?" Yang had mentally rushed through her list of everyone Jaune talked to online; with one exception, CoachmansFiremaker- she suspected Ozpin for that one- nobody he talked to was unaccounted for, except for this one.

"In the flesh, you could say. Say, could I talk to Weiss?"  
"Uh...sure. You know her?"

"Jaune loves talking about her." He shrugged like it was nothing. "I'm guessing Ruby wants a cookie?" He gestured to the wolfish girl, gnawing on one of the cookie packets from the pile.

"Yeah, she loves them."

"She can have some. Let's go, I've got somewhere to be after this and I barely got here anyway." He shrugged, letting Yang lead the way. "Busy?"

"You could say that." He smirked.

* * *

"...right. So." Saber turned to everyone present. "You are telling me that I've been teleported, to a combat academy, with people who know me and my friends- and of course, Shirou-sama- and-"

"And it's all detailed in this story." Blake pointed to the tablet with the fanfiction on it.

"...this feels strangely familiar."

"Uh, Blake. We have a problem. How are we getting Saber back home?!" Weiss appeared to be panicking. "Do you KNOW anyone who can, I dunno, send someone through dimensions?"  
"Maybe the universe will auto-correct itself. I have personally no idea how this happened. Although, maybe, you could settle the question itself."

"What qu-...no."

The swordswoman looked at Blake. "What question?"

"Weiss wagers she could beat you in a fight." Saber looked at the heiress, who'd seemed to suddenly shrink more than she had already- and considering that, despite her size, Saber still towered over her, that was very astonishing.

"Can she, now?" She smirked, with a hint of mischief.

"...I hate you so much, Belladonna."

* * *

"Hey Blake! I brought someone with me!" Yang walked in with her visitor, who looked around the dorm. He walked around, looking somewhat bored- or perhaps it was just his expression, Yang noted, he'd seemed really enthusiastic to meet Weiss. He turned his head towards Blake, who gave him a token nod.

"She's Blake?"  
"Who are you?"

"A friend of Jaune's. Nice to meet you." He nodded to her, before turning to Yang. "Uh...where's Weiss?"

"I dunno. Blake?"  
"She's in the courtyard, having a duel."

"What? With who?"

"Miss Arturia. Otherwise known as Saber." She smirked.

The boy shrugged; he didn't seem to do much else, and his hands were always in their pockets. "Well then. Lead the way, Yang."

"Uh...okay..." The brawler went first. Blake went outside, presumably to do something.

The boy looked around, for a bit, before crouching under the large Achieve Men poster that dominated one side of the dorm. Moving some of the clutter under it, he found something.

"..."

* * *

"Touche, Schnee-san, but your technique needs work." Saber wiped the sweat from her brow and hefted Excalibur up. Weiss, meanwhile, was raring to go, Myrtenaster swishing through the air.

"Thank you. You could also use some practice." The heiress assumed a sidewards stance, pointing her blade at her opponent, who smiled.

"I'm only holding back."

"Holding back?" Weiss scoffed. "Please, I could totally take you."

"You barely could, even when I barely tapped you with this." She patted her sword with her free hand. "Besides, Schnee-san, your sword cannot beat mine. The size difference alone would make it easier to snap yours with a mere slash."  
"Try me, Saber."

Saber smiled. She hadn't had this much fun in ages, not since she'd beaten up Shirou in sparring while she was in full armor, and he wasn't.

"Bring it."

* * *

"Weiss? Some...oh my." Yang looked at the destruction in the courtyard, whistling. "...this is worse than when Pyrrha accidentally lost Nora's sloth toy! What happened?!"

Indeed, the courtyard was smashed. The statue in the middle of the fountain itself was completely fine, somehow, but everything around it was in various states of wreckage, destruction, disrepair and other such states. Slumped by the fountain, laughing, were Saber and Weiss, their swords lying forgotten by the rubble.

"So we both have a bunch of dunces, huh?"  
"Well, Rin is in complete denial, Shirou is an idiot, but apart from that, not everyone is a complete...dunce?"

"Jaune's a complete idiot, Ruby's a cute dunce, and Yang-"

"I'm what?" She smiled cheekily. Weiss suddenly paled.

"Uh...Y-Yang, hey, I didn't s-see you there..."

"So that's Weiss." The boy noted. "She's less...fiery than I thought."

"...if you're implying I'm a tsundere, I'm n-not. W-what kind of an i-idiot makes that k-kind of stuff up about me?"The heiress looked offended. The boy smirked, for once. "Just like her, isn't she?" He muttered to himself.

"I'm sorry?"

"Nothing, just...remembering something important." He looked up, realising it was getting dark. "Oh, it's getting late. I'd better be off now. Tell Jaune I said hi." He walked off, waving to everyone.

Saber blinked, standing up with a start. "It's nighttime?! Oh no, Shirou will..." She looked around hastily, before nodding quickly. "I'll see you around, all of you." She nodded especially to Weiss. "You were a good fighter, I'll give you that."

"Same to you...uh...bye?" She waved half-heartedly, and the girl ran towards Beacon's entrance gate, as if driven by instinct. She eventually disappeared from sight.

* * *

Eventually, after a long silence, both girls turned to each other.

"Bye! Uh..." Yang looked confused now.

"Yang...did we just..."  
"I think we just did a crossover."

"Huh...wait, who was that other guy?"  
"He said he was a friend of Jaune's. He never told me who he was, though." The brawler shrugged.

"Huh." Weiss sighed.

"Well then. If that happens EVERY TIME I READ A FANFIC...I'll keep reading them."

"Try not to." Yang smirked. "I probably couldn't handle the insanity if you did."

* * *

Nora dragged the confused- and completely starstruck- Ren back to the dorm.

"Wuh...buh..."

"Yes, Ren. I love you."

"Buh..."

"I act like this because I like you, and it makes you laugh." She sighed. "Just...let's talk about it-"

"YOU! WHERE IN THE EMPEROR'S NAME MAY I FIND THE LOCAL SPACE MARINE CHAPTER!" Nora looked up at the person blocking her way.

He was a tall- extremely tall- man, in large, dark blue armor, carrying a pistol that was bigger than Ren's head. In his other hand, he carried what appeared to be a large chainsaw-sword hybrid, and his head was obscured by a terrifying helmet.

"I SAID, WHERE IS-"  
"OH SHUT UP, ULTRAMARINE, I'M TRYING TO GET BACK TO MY DORM WITH MY BOYFRIEND."

"HOW DARE-" He was silenced by a Magnhild to the crotch, and the Space Marine immediately fell over, groaning. With that, she happily skipped over him, dragging her partner away, but not before screaming at him.

"NEVER MESS WITH NORA FUCKING VALKYRIE, BITCH!"

"...I killed Orks...Necrons...even those damned Chaos cultists...but this...fells me..."

The last thought that ran through his mind as he lost consciousness was fear- Fear of the name of Nora Valkyrie.

Only the Emperor knew what she could do when truly angered.

* * *

The boy finally got to a good spot to return to where he needed to be. He sighed, as if the duty was nothing more to him than an arduous house chore.

"Time to go back...at least I get internet there." He chuckled. He was definitely telling Jaune about the curious state he'd seen Weiss in.

"Well...at least I have this." He pulled out the object he'd taken from the dorm; a picture, of Pink Argus' actress, smiling, unmasked, but in costume. It was signed with her signature; he missed helping her with her homework, and even seeing this one piece of handwriting- written in pink pen, just as he expected- it brought tears to his eyes. He loved her, after all; even after all this time, he still thought it unfair that he had to leave her behind.

He missed her so much; he missed his friends, everyone he cared about. But now...now wasn't the time yet for him to come back. It wasn't time yet.

"Yukari...I want to be with you so much, to hold you again, to-" He stopped himself, choking a bit as he muttered to her picture mournfully. His voice was lower, and slow, and his tone plaintive, as if wishing his situation would be different. The boy was trying not to cry, as memories of a better time ran through his head, memories with her, his friends- and it was hard.

Talking to Yang and Jaune, he realised that they had it lucky; they had a burden, but not as heavy as his. They still had their friends, their lovers, and at this he felt a pang of jealousy. He knew he couldn't just give it up to be with her again. He wanted to, but he knew, at the bottom of his heart. He knew not even this world would let him escape his duty.

"...but for now...I need to do this, for you and for the rest of humanity. Please...I hope you don't miss me too much. I hope you don't fall back into despair, like you did, once.

I'll be back, one day. I promise."

Looking up towards the light of the moon, hoping Yukari had heard his wish, Minato ascended.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Woo, a chapter about reacting to crossovers that featured an actual crossover! And woo for Nora! Yes, PersonaFan, you were indeed correct about GreatMoonGuardian's identity, which kinda makes this fanfic a semi-crossover with Persona. Kinda. Maybe. I'll balance it out. With more people. Woo. Yeah. I'm kinda sad after writing that ending.**

**So, next chapter...Weiss Reacts to Kink Memes! Oh, my dear Weiss. If only you knew.**

**I hope you enjoyed that, so read, enjoy, leave your reviews, thoughts and suggestions in the reviews, and have a great day! Until next time!**

**FINAL DISCLAIMER: Persona belongs to Atlus, Fate/stay Night belongs to Type Moon, and Warhammer 40k belongs to Games Workshop. Otherwise the Answer would have ended better, Shinji would have been stabbed to death by a squirrel, and Ciaphias Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM, would be the canon Commissar example.**


	16. Weiss Reacts to Kink Memes!

Weiss Reacts to Kink Memes!

**A/N: I feel kinda sorry for putting Weiss through all of this crap. Seriously, I kinda had to ask Saber-chan to hold back on kicking her ass last chapter, and by ask I mean bribe with more meals than I can eat in a month :c Excuse me while I go starve in a corner...**

**Oh well, the show must go on!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Ruby would be a magical girl.**

* * *

"Hey, Weiss, have you seen my signed picture of-"  
"No. Why'd you put it there anyway?"  
"I dunno, I was going to put the actress' picture with the rest of my crap." Yang sighed, shoving her pile of Phoenix Ranger Featherman merchandise into a small drawer, next to one labelled "Pentakill" and "Achieve Men". On her chest of drawers was a Halo-style helmet, some yaoi manga- Weiss hadn't realised she'd stolen them yet- and her beloved Ember Celica gauntlets.

"Weiss, you've got to help me find it!"

"Well, quit putting signed pictures of people with a load of dolls-"

"They. Are. Not. Dolls." She leered at the heiress dangerously. "They are action figures. ACTION FIGURES."

"...oookaaay." The heiress sighed and returned to browsing. Lately, for some reason, all the fanfiction showing up had "Written for the Kink Meme" in the description. She didn't know what it was, or why people were writing for it.

"Yang, what's a kink meme?"  
"Kink meme?" The brawler sighed, throwing her hands up. The photo could wait. She walked over to Weiss and looked at the monitor. "Ah, those. I love them. They're always so...funny~"

"What is it?"

"It's, like, a place or something you can request a fanfiction and some random person will make art or write about your request. It's pretty awesome." Yang seemed to be leaving something out, but Weiss dismissed it as her being forgetful. "That sounds...interesting. Is there one for most fandoms?"

"A lot, yes. You should totally look at ours. It's pretty hilarious~" With that, Yang stood up. "Say, have you seen Ruby anywhere?"

"Uh, yeah. She went out to Vale to grab cookies. Vacation's fun, isn't it?"

"It is indeed...so, uh, I'll catch you around, Weiss." The brawler waved to her and walked outside, exhaling loudly.

"Dammit, I needed that photo. I wanted to show it to Pyrrha and brag about it!"

* * *

Weiss searched up 'RWBY kink meme'. She had a minor, sick curiosity for looking at people's writing of her and her friends' exploits, although, as evidenced by many of the reviews she'd read, people seemed to like them.

"Hm...I wonder why people find our lives so interesting. We're just normal people, for Dust's sake." She uttered to herself as she quickly located the kink meme.

What she saw was...well, Yang hadn't told the full truth, that much was true.

"...WHY ARE HALF OF THESE REQUESTS SEX BETWEEN ME AND RUBY?!" The heiress shrieked, blushing furiously. "...WHY ARE PEOPLE SO OBSESSED WITH THAT SUBJECT? B-BESIDES, I D-DON'T LIKE THAT I-IDIOT THAT WAY!"

Indeed, indecent fic requests about Weiss and Ruby comprised a significant amount of the requests to the kink meme. Weiss and Ruby in the teacher's lounge, male!Weiss and male!Ruby in the forests, Weiss and Ruby in front of EVERYONE-

"T...this is so i-indecent..." Weiss was still blushing. "Why would..." She shook her head. Weiss had to know.

...what were these stories like?

* * *

"Jaune, go tell your girlfriend to calm down."

"W-what?!" Jaune looked at Ren like he'd literally told him to jump off a cliff.

"She's shrieking again."

"S-she's not my girlfriend! Ok, maybe I find her hot, but she's not my girlfriend!"  
"Sure. Okay. So Jaune Arc's rejecting being called Weiss Schnee's boyfriend, the same girl who, keep in mind, you keep having maid fantas-"

"Okay, okay, fine." The boy sighed. "And you kept having those about Nora, hypocrite!"

"...if you say a word, I will end you."

"Only if you come and see whatever hell Weiss wreaked upon her dorm this time with me."

Ren silently glared at him, but acquiesced.

* * *

"That's so...indecent...

I'd never put my fingers there..." The heiress' normally pale, ivory face was redder than the cloak Ruby wore as she read through one of the request fills.

It was about Weiss pleasuring Ruby in the dorm. It involved cookies, maple syrup and more cookies.

For some reason, the heiress actually enjoyed reading them.

"I feel so...dirty..."

A knock on her door. "Weiss?"  
"Come in, the door's open."

Jaune and an irritated Ren ambled in. "Uh...fanfiction?"  
"J-just read it! It's s-so indecent!" Weiss pointed at the screen, her previous enjoyment forgotten. "W-what kind of pervert would...WRITE that?!"

Jaune sat down next to her, reading the fill carefully. "...how many uses for cookies can you get?!"

"I never...I would..." Weiss was speechless. Jaune took this as an opportunity to look through the rest of the meme.

"Whoa...wait...why am I the SECOND most requested character?!" Jaune looked at disbelief at the monitor. "What?!"

"...ok, apparently a lot of fans want to see me..."

"And?"

"...you..."

"...nonononononononono. No. NO. NO!"

Ren stood there, vaguely annoyed, before walking out again.

"...fans are such perverts..."

* * *

"So, RWBY Kink Meme, huh?" Blake looked at the monitor. Weiss and Jaune nodded; neither were looking at each other, as they were embarrassed.

"...let's see if there's anything about me in here..."

"Wait, you want to see if someone requested something about you?! T-that's so...perverted!"  
"Oh, relax, Weiss. Not all of it's lemons. Some of it's fluff." The catgirl shrugged. "And anyway, the fills always say if they're lemons, so if anything you're the pervert for reading the ones with clear warnings."

"..." The heiress looked away from both her and Jaune, ashamed. Blake shook her head.

"Right...so, Blake and Yang doing each other in the teacher's lounge, Blake and Yang doing each other in the teacher's lounge, Blake doing Ruby in the classroom...oh, thank Dust, one that's Blake and Sun fluff...not that I like Sun t-that way...Blake and Jaune?"  
"Uh..."

"Okay...wow." The catgirl wriggled her eyebrows. "That's...strangely kinky."

"Y-you pervert!"  
"It's a healthy adolescent sex drive." Blake brushed her off. "Besides, haven't you ever fantasised about having-"  
"NO!"

"With Ruby?"

"ESPECIALLY NOT WITH HER! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, SHE'S LIKE THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME! UGH, YOU'RE SUCH A PERVERT, BLAKE!"

"Wait...is that..." Jaune pointed at something on the screen. "..."

"...that is indeed Ruby with a Beowolf."

"...this is so indecent..."

* * *

"Ok, guys, Ruby's got...what's going on?" Yang walked in, confused.

"Weiss found a kink meme."

"This is all your fault, Yang!"  
"...okay, I MAY have left some details out~" The brawler smirked mischievously. "But look, here's some fluff! See?"

"That one is still shipping me and Ruby. And it's still a lemon."

"Not my fault you're both so cute together!"  
"Wha-" Weiss turned red. "I do NOT have a crush on that dolt!"

"I never said you did."

"...gahgkelhgdgdmekgBAH!" The heiress stood up. "I hate kink memes! T-they're so i-indecent!"

With that, she stormed out.

"Yang?"  
"Yeeesss?"

"Did you-"  
"I only told her about it!" The brawler looked defensive. "Besides, I didn't expect her to act like that to them!"  
"She didn't see the fluff fills?"

"In all fairness, letting her look up the RWBY Kink Meme was probably a bad idea."  
"Yeah, the Persona one would have been much better." Blake muttered wistfully. "Wait, why are half of these requests from the same person?"  
"?" Yang zoomed in onto the username, SatinTheRedLapine. "...maybe they really like seeing Weiss naked?"

Jaune immediately had a nosebleed at the thought of his crush naked.

Unluckily for him, the blood got onto Yang's leather jacket.

"...Ooooh, Jaune~ Imagining it, are you?"  
"W-what?!" He quickly wiped it away. "I-I didn't!"  
"It's okay~ We know you have a hard-on for her~"  
"What? I'm not a pervert!"  
"...we never said anything about you being a pervert." She smirked. Jaune paled. "Uh...I-I h-h-have to g-go i-iron m-my dog...uh..." He ran outside, grabbing some tissues to stem his nosebleed.

"Was that strictly necessary, Yang?"

"What, don't you remember when I said I wanted to take yo-"  
"Okay, okay, no need to remind me, I get it, you're the dirtiest person in all of Beacon, I get it." Blake was suppressing her own blush. Yang, however, smirked. "It's not me."

"Then who-"

"Ruby."

* * *

Ruby was walking down the corridor, carrying several bags of nothing but cookies and cookie related foods; cookie dough, cookie dough ice cream, cookie dough ice cream milk shakes, even pies shaped like cookies.

"Ruby! Do you know anything about this?"  
"Huh?" Ruby looked to her left, seeing Weiss. "Oh, hey."

"You know what a kink meme is, right?"  
"Uh...yeah, I do."

"Do you know that ours contains a lot of requests to see you making love to me?" Weiss tried not to look embarrassed as she said that. She failed.

"Do they, now?" The crimsonette had an enigmatic expression on her face. Weiss hesitantly nodded, handing her the tablet. Ruby put down her shopping on a nearby bench and started reading through the fills.

"...well?"

Ruby looked up at Weiss. The heiress could see something changed in her normally innocent, large silver eyes; they seemed...hungry. They had a strange glint in them; a glint that hinted of hunger, desire...lust.

Unfortunately for Weiss, she hadn't a clue what such social cues meant.

"Well?"  
"...I like them."

"H-how can you like them? T-they're so indecent?"

"...they're practically my dreams, Weiss..." Ruby looked at her older partner hungrily. "...b-besides, Sempai...I-I need you..."

"AGH! YOU'RE WORSE THAN YANG!" Weiss ran off in the opposite direction, leaving a trail of snowflakes and a disappointed Ruby.

"Aw...and I thought Weiss would stop pretending. Oh well..." The crimsonette sighed, picking up her shopping.

"Someday, Weiss. Some day." With that, she continued walking back to the dorm, whistling, as if nothing had ever happened.

* * *

Weiss ended up colliding with Nora, while she was feeding pigeons with Dust-imbued feed.

Eventually, the pair were found unconscious in the resulting wreckage.

* * *

"So, she just-"

Ruby was smirking the entire time. "Yeah."  
"Wow. I guess she really is dirtier than you."  
"It's a healthy adolescent sex drive." Both sisters responded in unison.

"Well then." Blake sighed. "I guess there's something we HAVE to do."

"What?"  
"Show Glynda." She smirked. "You know how she is about this kind of stuff."  
"Oh, I know just the person to get it to her." The blonde brawler smirked, winking.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Glynda's apartment!

"...Ozpin sent me something. I wonder what...oh. A kink meme?" The professor looked through it, intrigued. "My...are these all stories about me and...Oh my." Her cheeks were dusted with red. "Well...t-that's certainly...interesting..." She continued reading through.

"O-oh my...uh..." She wanted to pull away. But she couldn't; her eyes were glued to the screen. "T-this is so indecent...I-I don't w-want O-Ozpin to take me on the b-balcony!" She shrieked, blushing. "T-that's so...wrong! H-he's such a ...b-baka anyway..."

She sighed, mastering her emotions. "..."

"I am going to kill that man."

* * *

Ozpin and Yang shared a fistbump.

"You know, even if she kills me tomorrow, that was totally worth it."  
"Agreed, sir." The latter smiled cheekily at the headmaster of Beacon. Ozpin always loved to embarrass his beleaguered assistant; her facial expressions and her tone always seemed so cute when he did.

That's why he liked her, of course.

* * *

Somewhere...

"YES. YEESSSSS." Velvet was practically foaming at the mouth, reading through every fill. She didn't care that it wasn't about her and Weiss- just mentally inserting herself in the situations was enough.

"...I'm such a pervert..." She sighed.

"Oh well...oh, look, a Weiss and Velvet request!" She giggled insanely. "Let's fill it...I've been dying to do this~

One day, Weiss-senpai. ONE DAY."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Yes, I know there is currently no kink meme (that I know of) for RWBY and I know there's some fluff. It's far more hilarious to take the name literally. :3**

**So...yeah. Next chapter, thanks to the delightful H'tee Rarpee, will be Weiss Reacts to Massages! By the way, you should totally read their fanfics instead of mine. Much better writing ^^ I might be a bit longer on writing this next one, but then again I never really have a chapter release schedule as it :P**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that chapter. Leave your reviews, suggestions, comments and thoughts, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	17. Special Chapter 5: Massages!

Special Chapter: Jaune Reacts to Massages!

**A/N: I'm back, lads! And this time, I brought you the thing you may or may not have been waiting for; a reaction to H'tee Rarpee's Massages! Woo! Yeah!**

**DISCLAIMER: Massages belongs to H'tee Rarpee. Read that, by the way, instead of this crappy fic, it's far better. And funnier.**

**RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Velvet would stare down Grimm and make them run.**

* * *

Jaune Arc was bored; incredibly, utterly bored. GreatMoonGuardian, his online pal, hadn't spoken to him in a while- although he did mention visiting and regretting not waiting around for him-, Ren was being dragged off on dates by Nora, and Pyrrha was out today, with Weiss, over in Vale.

Essentially, he had nobody to talk to.

"Dust dammit..." He sighed, resting his hands behind his head and leaning back on the desk chair, picking up the remote and turning on the dorm's TV.

"Hm...Phoenix Ranger Featherman...no...wait, who 's Tanaka? Eh, catchy jingle, but blah..." Jaune looked confused, before switching the channel. "Hm...typical soap opera, more typical soap- there isn't anything good on today." He frowned as he turned off the TV, tossing the remote on his bed. "Hm...wonder if anyone's got good fanfic to read?" With that, the boy grabbed his tablet and went into his profile, deciding to poke around the fandom...

"Wait, what's this?" He paused at a particular fic, labelled 'Massages'. Jaune looked at the description carefully. "Ok...so I give Yang a massage? Huh? Why's it so popular? Hm...I'll check it out, I suppose." Jaune dived into the story.

* * *

"...what?!" The boy's face turned a dark shade of red as he finished reading the first chapter. "So, I give Yang a massage- which, I have NO idea how to do, let alone do well- and it sounds like...it sounds like we did the dirty?!" Jaune immediately shook the indecent images that filled his mind away. This lasted for several seconds, before he finally managed to regain his composure and his dignity.

"...well, I guess it's kinda funny..." He sighed. "I guess I'd better read more..."

* * *

"...ok, so I owe Blake. Well...she IS the kind of person who'd make sure I pay for it...but why do I get the impression they're going to fall in love with me?

This sounds like a harem anime to me." Jaune sighed. "Why are people so obsessed with giving me a harem? Jeez, I only have crushes on Weiss and Pyrrha. Although Blake's kinda pretty...and Yang's...well, Yang...and...Ruby-wait, what am I saying?!" He stopped himself and returned to reading, quickly removing the shameful thoughts that had filled his head.

"Damn you hormones, why do you do this to me?!"

* * *

Jaune laughed at Cardin's reaction within the story. "Oh boy." He wiped a tear that had begun welling up in his eye. "If only this was real..." He chuckled, before he read down...and immediately throwing the tablet down in shock.

"...WHAT?! I...no, Weiss...s-she wanted me to..." He began gibbering confusedly. "She...what...what the fuck?!" As Jaune said this, his mind began filling with very, very bad mental images; mostly centring around an almost-naked Weiss, her short jacket being the only thing covering her, her hand extended, and her whispering "Come closer..." in a sultry manner, as her other hand opened her jacket-

"Oh crap." The boy wiped away the stream of blood that had suddenly started trailing from his nose.

"I am SUCH a pervert..."

* * *

"...GOODWITCH?!" He was definitely, utterly embarrassed. He hadn't minded reading about him massaging- which seemed to resemble him making love- every last girl in Beacon, but Glynda Goodwitch of all people? The concept boggled Jaune- unlike every boy in the academy, the exception being Ren, him being too busy fantasising about Nora in a maid outfit, he hadn't spent any time at all imagining Glynda in risqué situations.

"W-well then..." He continued reading, before he read the passage describing Cardin's response.

"...if Cardin EVER said that about them..." He clenched his fists, trying not to get too lost in his suddenly blossoming anger, trying to master it.

Maybe he did have feelings for those girls, maybe he didn't. Maybe he did indeed have something for Ruby, or Weiss, or Pyrrha, or whoever. But he certainly liked them, and he'd be damned if he saw any harm come to them- maybe not from Cardin, the boy had become a practical saint since the Forest of Forever Fall, two years back- but if anyone ever talked about them the way Cardin did in this...Jaune swore, if anyone ever did, he would make them shut up. He would-

"...bah." Jaune defused his own anger with a loud exhalation. "Besides, nobody would try it, right? I mean, someone tries to say that to Yang, he's going to get smacked. I'd be more scared if they tried it on Weiss...I think Dove's STILL got a fear of ice from when he splashed Dust in my face...and Velvet? Dunno about this guy, but Velvet would probably castrate anyone who dared try anything. The girl's madder than NORA."

* * *

Velvet finished carving yet another figure of her beloved Weiss from ice, before storing them in her freezer. She sighed happily as she began to pull another block of ice out from the bag she'd bought.

"Ah, Weiss-sempai~" She said in a sing-song voice. "You'll realise it one day, but we're meant to be together...and I'll make sure of it, one day..." The bunnygirl smiled, like she hadn't a care in the world, as she continued carving.

And in case her latest plan to get her Weiss failed, she had the backup plan- threaten Elf-kun with her beloved Grimmbane; a large, almost inhumanly serrated chainsaw-axe hybrid, that shot Dust blasts, akin to Myrtenaster; Velvet modified it specifically to shoot Dust blasts to emulate Weiss.

"One day, my fans, we'll get together. You'll see."

* * *

"Well...it was good, I suppose...a bit awkward, but then again, as it's about me..." He left a review, satisfied.

-From: **ArturiaOfArc**

Well done. Made me laugh, made my day, although it was kinda awkward reading it seeing as its me I'm reading about. Hope to see more from you, faving this stuff now!

-Jaune Arc

The boy felt his stomach rumble. He chuckled to himself. "Well, I guess I'd better grab some food, haven't I?" With that, he walked out of the dorm, leaving his tablet unattended...

And, obviously, shenanigans would ensue.

* * *

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Yang soared into the window of JNPR dorm, smoking with a bit of soot on her jacket. Cardin's voice could be heard below, shouting a quick 'Sorry!'. The brawler groaned, having landed on what was once a pristine bed, now covered in soot and Dust-knows-what came out of Oobleck's attempt to, as he called it, "channel the speed gods".

Well, he certainly succeeded in channelling inner reserves of untapped agility- Yang had never seen him run as fast as he did before, and he probably didn't know he could either.

With an irritated groan, she pulled herself up. "Ugh..." She looked around, brushing her hair quickly with her other hand. "Dammit, Professor...wait, is this JNPR dorm?" Yang looked around, trying to pick up more of her surroundings, before recognizing the various pictures of Ren on the side of the dorm wall and the heart imagery as Nora's.

"Yep, definitely JNPR dorm." She sighed as she walked to the door, trying to pull it open. "Oh Dust-dammit, the ONE door in the whole school that has to be locked from the OUTSIDE." She sighed. "What kind of an idiot makes a door like that in a school like this anyway?!" The brawler strode over to the bed she'd landed on- judging by Nora and Ren sharing a bed or having beds close together, probably Jaune's- and sat there.

"I'll just wait for someone to come back and let me out. I'll explain why I'm in here and hopefully it's not too bad- shame about Jaune's bed though. I kinda ruined it..." Yang bit her lip nervously, exhaling, before noticing the tablet next to her, and its contents.

"Hm? Massages?" She read through it, curious.

"Oh~ So it's THAT kind of fanfic~" She smirked, almost sultrily. "Well, Jaune IS kinda cute...I can kinda see that happening...but he'd have to prove his worth...I mean, Ruby's usually the one who massages me, and she's pretty good." Yang then suddenly had a mischievous thought.

She knew Weiss had 'issues' with seeing Jaune as a potential love interest- mostly, the complaints boiled down to Weiss being an absolute tsundere and Jaune pretty much giving her more fuel to be one. Yang loved to embarrass the heiress- indeed, she and Blake absolutely loved making her look like a fool.

So what if this fanfiction were to just...appear to Weiss? Yang grinned to herself mischievously.

"Ohohoho...this'll be good. Jaune'll owe me so much for this...actually, now that they mentioned it, my back HAS been hurting quite a bit...hm...maybe we'll put it to the test."

* * *

When Jaune returned, with sorbet and some chips, he saw Yang, sitting innocently on his bed, looking through his tablet. He almost did a double take.

'O-oh no! What i-if she read it?!' So many horrible fates and thoughts ran through his mind, before the brawler turned to him, smirking. "Oh, hey Jaune."

"Hey...l-listen, w-was there a fanfic on that, ca-"

"Yeah." She smiled ."Listen, I know you have a crush on Weiss."  
"What?"

"Don't play stupid with me, Arc." She said playfully. "Please, I see the way you look at her- the fact that you fantasised about her being in a maid outfit-"

"Okay, okay, I do! What does it matter?" He glared at Yang, embarrassed and somewhat irritated.

"Weeeeell, see, this little fanfic right here, this might ruin your chances with her if she reads it~ Or at least, annoy her~"  
"WHAT NO YANG YOU CAN'T DO THAT"

"...unless you give ME a massage." She smiled. "Come on, Jaune. I won't bite~ Besides, you wouldn't want her to be embarrassed, right?"

"F-fine! B-but I'm not a good masseur! I-I don't even know who came UP with the stupid idea in the first place!" He sighed as he climbed on the bed behind Yang, cracking his knuckles.

Yang was simply enjoying herself, of course. She never planned to send it to Weiss- of course she wouldn't. She liked Jaune too much for that.

"Well...here goes...I hope you're happy." He began to slowly put his hands nearer her back nervously. He'd never done this before, and he wasn't certainly going to again, hopefully.

"Oh, don't be so scared~" She chirped.

Oh, man, she really-

And suddenly, all thoughts were erased from Yang's head as what she could only later describe as condensed euphoria made contact with her back.

It was glorious.

"Ooooh...J-Jaune..."

* * *

Ren and Nora were walking back from their date, holding cups of coffee.

"I still can't believe you took down a SPACE MARINE for me."

"Besides, Ren," Nora responded. "NOBODY will stand in my way to hug you. NOBODY." To prove her point, she hugged her teammate tightly. "I wuv you so much~"

"Uh...yeah...I...uh...you too..." Ren blushed; he was still unused to the whole thing- he hadn't even been aware Nora liked him until she kissed him outside RWBY dorm a couple of weeks ago. Even then, he was practically rendered catatonic- he only remembered waking up the next morning, with Nora in a maid outfit serving him breakfast.

It. Was. Glorio-

"J-Jaune! H-higher!"

"W-what?!"  
"H-higher! I-It feels g-good!"

Nora and Ren looked at each other.

"Are they having sex in our dorm?!" They said in unison.

"...I won't stand for it!" Nora marched off towards the dorm, Ren in pursuit. "Jaune, at least tell us you're going to use the dorm like that first!"  
"Yeah, I wanted to do it with Ren first!"  
"...what."

"What? It's a healthy adolescent sex drive!"

* * *

Shortly, the pair burst through the door.

"JAUNE, CEASE ALL COPULATI-"

"...is that Yang?"

"Is he...massaging her?"

Yang jumped, yelping. Jaune panicked, flailing his hands around. Ren and Nora were suddenly hit by the desk chair in the chaos that ensued, and the tablet landed face-down on the carpet.

"Whoa, what's this about?!"  
"I-I w-wasn't h-h-having sex with her!"  
"Ugh..." Ren pulled himself up- Nora was unconscious from having a desk chair to the face. "...Yang, explain."

"Well, we read this fanfic-  
"You read it." Jaune corrected her.

"And we got this idea that Jaune was a good masseur."  
"You got the idea."

"So I asked him nicely to give me one~"  
"You blackmailed me with Weiss."

"Hey, it was a good massage!"

"You still blackmailed me." Jaune sighed. "Ren, can we go somewhere for a bit? I think I need a break."  
"Yeah, okay. Yang, that wasn't a good idea- for Dust's sake, it sounded like you were doing something indecent in here." He sighed irritably. "And Jaune, close the window next time."

"Got it..." He shook his head- he probably should've let her blackmail him, he knew Yang well enough. With that, Ren checked on Nora- she was fine, if out of it- before walking over to them. "Wait, your tablet's on the floor." The sable-haired boy walked over to the fallen device, turning it up. His eyes widened.

"Uh...Jaune."

"Yes?"  
"Is it supposed to be sending a link to 'weissschnee dustmail?'"

Jaune's eyes darted to Yang, who raised her hands as if to say she wasn't guilty. "I didn't do it! Must've happened while we were panicking! I swear!"

"...oh shit." The blond boy paled.

"...nice knowing you, Jaune."

* * *

Weiss was just returning home from a nice afternoon out with Pyrrha. She was happy- after all, spending time with one of her best friends was fun, if only to get away from the madness that was Beacon for a bit.

Even a workaholic such as her needed some time off.

"Hopefully they didn't blow up the place when I was gone." She sighed as she sat down, before a new notification appeared in her email.

"Hm? Jaune234arc? Okay..." She opened it and recognised the link as from Dustfiction. "Hm..." She opened it carefully.

"Massages?" She dived into it, flicking through it, before...

"THIS IS INDECENT. WHO. WHO WOULD WRITE THIS?! I-I WOULD NEVER, EVER, EVER LET JAUNE DO THIS TO ME.

B-BESIDES, I-I DON'T HAVE FANTASIES OF HIM TAKING ME IN THE COURTYARD-"

"WEISS DON'T READ-" Jaune burst into the room, seconds too late.

"...you did this, didn't you?"

"What?! N-no-"  
"Well then, I'm just going to have to punish you, my way." Weiss stood up, drawing Myrtenaster.

"But..." At this point, the blond boy gave up trying. She'd forgive him afterwards.

But the pain had to come first.

* * *

Needless to say, Jaune's screams filled the academy's minds that night.

* * *

**END**

**A/N: So yeah, stuff. That was...funnily enough, easier to write than some of my other chapters, despite being even less hilarious than them.**

**Well, the next chapter is...Weiss Reacts to Crossovers: High School Edition! Le gasp! What could this be?! You'll just have to wait and see!**

**Seriously, though, read H'tee Rarpee's Massages, it is a great fic, much better than this one, much better written too. If you're reading this, a shout out to you for being one of the great writers in the fandom.**

**Otherwise, read, leave your reviews, comments and suggestions, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	18. Weiss Reacts to Rule 63!

**Weiss Reacts to Rule 63!**

**A/N: Firstly, a big apology to those of you who wanted to see the Crossover/High School AU chapter. I've decided that I've done quite a bit of crossover lately (*cough*Persona*cough*) and I've decided to move that chapter until after the next one. Sorry guys. In advance, I beg forgiveness if I refer to Persona/Lucky Star/whatever other universes I've established in the fanfic here :c So instead you get Weiss reacting to...whatever the title is now!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Weiss would have A-cup Angst. A lot of it.**

* * *

"...Why does Yang have a Risette pinup book?" Weiss tilted her head as she tossed the indecent book to the side, sighing. Yang really had no limits when it came to her 'healthy adolescent sex drive'- Weiss was actually surprised that Yang called herself a 'virgin'; the veracity of that statement seemed dubious to everyone save Nora. She sighed.

"Why is everyone around me so indecent..."She muttered as she moved off the bed she was sitting on, looking for her stash of yaoi- well, technically boy's love, but Ruby insisted on calling them yaoi- before...

"Where is it?!" Weiss noted that her entire stash was...gone. Panicked, the heiress rushed around the room, looking for her beloved boy's love manga.

* * *

Yang giggled as she read through one of Weiss' boy's love manga. She sighed.

"Ah, Weiss~ Always so fun to see what you pretend to find indecent~"

"Yaaaaaannnnng~" Nora poked her head in from the wastebasket.

"Yes?"

"Didn't you say we were going to get Ren into a maid outfit?" She seemed to be shaking at the thought. The brawler nodded.

"Oh, we are. We so are." She smirked.  
"Have you got the stuff ready?"  
Yang held up the maple syrup. "Yep. I've got the sack as well."

She sighed. "Great. Someone's been robbing my stuff. Perfect." Sighing, Weiss swung around her desk chair, sitting on it before turning to the computer.

"To the world of fanfic! Again." Diving into the fanfiction site she always frequented, a particular fic caught her eye. "RWBY Reversed", it was called, and she read the description carefully- watching out for any labels that hinted at its indecent nature. None whatsoever; Weiss sighed in relief. For some reason, there was a niggling feeling in her mind, but she dismissed it.

"Hm...so we're supposed to be gender-bent in this story? Interesting concept..." And so Weiss dived into reading it.

* * *

Meanwhile...

Yang dragged a wriggling, moving sack out of JNPR dorm. Ren's muffled voice could be heard from within, protesting and asking to be let out.

"YANG! GET ME OUT OF THIS! I WANT MY MAPLE SYRUP BACK!"

"Oh Noooora~ I have oooour priiiiize!"

Nora poked her head in from around the corner. "Quickly, we need to get moving! I found a good place to take pictures!"  
"Why couldn't we do it in your dorm?" The brawler asked as she struggled to drag Ren through the corridor.

"Apparently Pyrrha wants to dress Jaune up too. She's roped Cardin into doing it with her."

"..." Yang tilted her head. "Cardin?"

"Apparently Cardin likes visual novels. I dunno."

"I SWEAR NORA IF YOU DON'T LET ME OUT I'M GOING TO WITHOLD HUGS"  
"Oh, don't worry, Ren-chan~ We're just going to do something fun~"  
More squirming; Ren was attempting to break out of the sack he was in. Luckily, Yang had bought the sack from Oobleck, who used a similar material to contain Grimm, in exchange for all of the pictures she and Blake had taken of Glynda dressing up as Rin- for some reason, half the staff seemed to be into anime, manga, visual novels and games as well- so, there was no way Ren would escape.

* * *

"...uhuh..." Weiss tilted her head at the monitor. "So...Ruby's still...Ruby...Yang's still as boisterous as ever, Blake's quieter than she normally is and they got me...COMPLETELY WRONG." Her voice gained an indignant tone to it as she vented.

"I mean, I'm nowhere NEAR that aloof a-and arrogant! I am a perfectly NICE person, and I would be even if I was a boy! S-some people d-don't get me...s-such i-idiots..." She continued reading nonetheless.

"Hmph. Some people don't understand me...wait...WHAT?!" She grasped the screen, looking at it with widened eyes.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Ren was on a stool in the middle of the school courtyard. He was unhappy.

He was clothed in a very skimpy maid costume- one Nora had found in the closet labelled 'For Nora', with a short skirt and form-fitting curves. He even had the strange headgear worn by maids.

And he looked absolutely _adorable. _Yang and Nora were squeeing at the sight.

"Oh. My. Dust! He looks so...adorable!"  
"Yeah! He looks more like a girl than Jaune does!"

"I know, right? If it wasn't for the fact we know he's a guy, I'd totally mistake him for a girl! N-not that I wouldn't consider him attractive..." Yang winked mischievously at Ren, much to his girlfriend's chagrin. "Yang, I swear, if you touch him, I'll kill you~ Kay?"

"Sorry! It's irresistible when his facial expression looks so much like Weiss!"

Ren growled, blushing. "Nora...I swear...if you tell ANYONE about this..."

"We won't!" She smiled cheerfully. Ren sighed in relief, before Nora pulled out a camera instead.

"No, we'll just take pictures instead!"

* * *

Meanwhile, over in JNPR dorm...

"Whoa..."

"I know..." Pyrrha and Cardin stared in awe at their creation. Specifically, Jaune in an even more impressive Saber outfit than ever- his armor was even modelled correctly, with the small window in the chest area and everything. Jaune looked somewhat bemused. "Uh, Pyrrha, what's this for?"

"Well, I never got a chance to cosplay with you at Animecon..." Pyrrha rubbed the back of her head shyly. "So...uh...I wanted to take a couple of pictures with you..."

"With Cardin?" Jaune pointed to the boy, who shook his head. "I'm not in them. I'm takin' 'em."

"Wait...a-are you going to..."  
"Yep." With that, Pyrrha walked off into the toilet to change clothing, smirking. Jaune sat there, mouth hanging open.

* * *

"T-this...w-w-what is this?!" She pointed at the screen with a shaking finger. Despite the lack of warning she'd seen, the passage in front of her depicted her and Ruby's counterpart doing...indecent things.

"...WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS PAIR ME UP WITH RUBY?! EVEN WHEN GENDERBENT?! SERIOUSLY?!"

"...because you're cute together?" Blake poked her head in from the ceiling. Weiss jumped slightly, surprised by the catgirl's sudden appearance. "Uh..."

"It's true. I mean, you're clearly tsundere for Jaune AND Ruby." Blake continued. "You refer to Jaune as an idiot, Ruby as a dunce, you blush at the thought of even having anything to do with them, romantically or not-"

"S-Shut up!" The heiress shrieked. "I-I do NOT want to h-have sex with Ruby! Or Jaune!"

"I never said that." The catgirl smirked and at that point, Weiss shut up, turning red. She mumbled something about Blake, probably involving several 'idiots' and 'why mes', under her breath, while Blake got off the ceiling and landed perfectly on the floor of the dorm, approaching the monitor. Reading it carefully, she smirked.

"So, yaoi, right?" Weiss remained silent. Blake took it as a signal to continue. "...I see. So people like seeing you and Ruby together, huh."

"...n-not that it's ever going to happen..."

"Oh, I can see it happen. Being you of all people, you're probably likely to pull off a threesome with Jaune AND Ruby." Blake smirked as Weiss blushed and squeaked out a half-hearted "S-Shut up!" at her. Yang was right; it WAS fun to tease Weiss. She decided to up the ante.

"Besides, you have this fantasy every night, Weiss. I can hear you in your sleep."

"WHAT?!"

"Yes, Faunus have EXCELLENT hearing. Also, you make it kind of obvious when you moan out Ruby's name in _that_ way...sometimes Jaune's as well...and now you're going to pretend it's indecent?" Blake chuckled. "Points for being the most tsundere girl in all Beacon."

"I..." At this point, the heiress ran out of retorts. The mental image of a naked Ruby, wrapped up in red blankets, beckoning to her- wait, HOW was she thinking this?

"Oh my..." Blake sighed at the screen. "Now, you're 'doing' female Jaune? Well, whoever this guy is, he has you down pat-"  
"I DON'T LIKE THEM OKAY DUST DAMMIT IS IT THAT HARD TO SEE THAT I LOVE THEM BOTH OH DUST-" Weiss, realising exactly what she said, covered her mouth quickly with both hands.

It wasn't quick enough. Blake smiled in delight.

"Oh, so you do like them?"  
"I never said that-"  
"Oh yes you did." She stood up, shaking her head. "You have it bad for 'em, don't you?"  
"I don't-"  
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." She smiled sincerely- now that it was out, Weiss looked cuter and more adorable for having her crushes. She sighed. "I'm not Yang, Weiss. I can keep a secret. It's between you and me."

"..." The heiress, dumbfounded, turned to the screen, mumbling about indecency and lemons.

With that, Blake walked out, whistling. She needed to get a drink and mull over the amount of things she could make Weiss do for her now.

* * *

Jaune sneezed. "...did someone mention my name?"

Cardin shrugged. "I dunno. Weiss, maybe? I heard her screaming about something." He poked the Excalibur replica in Jaune's hand. "That real?"  
"Uh, yeah. Made it in the forges with Pyrrha."

"Sweet."

"Uh..."

"This is awkward, isn't it?" Cardin frowned.  
"Uh...it's been two years and yet I can't wrap my head around you being a nice person..."

"Yeah, I get that a lot." The boy laughed, rubbing the back of his head. "I used to be a dick, didn't I?"  
"Yeah...you could say that..." Jaune chuckled nervously.

"Hey, man, don't worry." Cardin smiled. "I'm not going to hurt you. We may not be friends, but my dick days are behind me. I'm, like they say, reformed now. Like all those rival guys in anime and stuff- when they get defeated or saved by the good guy, they change sides, right?"  
"Uh, yeah." Jaune nodded, smiling a bit. "Kinda impressive that you watched enough to know that."  
"Saber-chan?" Jaune turned around to the toilet, to see...Pyrrha. Or rather, Pyrrha dressed as Shirou.

Her hair was covered in a red wig, almost exactly like Pyrrha's normal hair- or it might have been Pyrrha's real hair, treated with Dust to make it look shorter. Her normal ensemble was replaced with a blue shirt and trousers, and her eyes were brown, instead of green, achieved with contacts. She sidled up to Jaune, smiling. Cardin had a look of amazement on his face.

"Whoa...you look like..."  
"A guy..."  
Pyrrha chuckled. "Yes, I have some experience with makeup and acting, I know how to dress up like a man."

"..." Jaune blinked. "So, uh, shall we...get this over with? I'm starting to chafe."

"Sure." Pyrrha stood over Jaune, leaning over him with her chest touching Jaune's head. Jaune expected a soft feeling- instead, he felt rough, segmented fabric brush over his hair.

'Is she...wearing a sarashi?' The boy thought to himself.

Unbeknownst to anyone but Ren- and Yang, of course- Jaune had a fetish for sarashi. He couldn't explain what or why this was- perhaps it was the form-fitting way the bandages were tied or something- but he just did.

'Oh no...this is bad...w-what do I do?' His mind was in a panic- if he had a nosebleed now, he would look like a pervert. Meanwhile, the blissfully unaware Cardin nodded to Pyrrha.

"Say cheese!"

* * *

Meanwhile, over in the courtyard...

Ren appeared to be incredibly irritated. "Are you done yet, Nora?"

"Okay!" She gave him a cheery thumbs-up and Ren sighed. "Nora, why did you find it necessary to kidnap me to do this?"  
"Well, I didn't think you'd agree to it, Ren." She shrugged. "I mean, you like crossdressers, but you probably wouldn't want to crossdress yourself, right?"

"...if I'd known you were into that, I would have done it." He sighed. "Nora, you could've asked. It's no trouble. Baiting me with maple syrup and dragging me into a sack wasn't worth the trouble."

"Aawwwww, Ren~" Nora blushed, squeeing. "That's so cute...I think I need to give you something nice as an apology, then."  
"What is-" The sable-haired boy was interrupted by the not entirely unwelcome, warm feeling of Nora's lips against his. He responded by pulling her closer and onto the bench next to them.

While the pair was having their moment, Yang stalked off, smirking, holding her prize.

In her hand was a picture of Ren, on the floor of the JNPR dorm. Specifically, he was clutching a bottle of maple syrup, chewing on it like a dog would chew their bone. She smirked.

"More blackmail material~ Oh, Yang, you are SO evil~ And to think that I just need to grab some dirt on Pyrrha now..."

* * *

Weiss had an expression of shock on her face. "...what did I just read..."

Indeed, the gender-bending did alter several things; Weiss' counterpart was linked more to their mother than father, for one thing, and the team argued slightly more, in part due to Weiss' 'overinflated' ego and Blake's counterpart's aloofness. However, what shocked her is that the fic hadn't changed too much about others- and, of course, the way she'd blurted out what she'd blurted out earlier.

"...I do NOT find the concept attractive..." She closed the tab, shaking her head. "B-besides...s-seeing...t-two attractive men...d-doing indecent things...d-doesn't arouse me at all!" A drop of blood landed on her skirt, and she felt a wet trail of blood start trailing down her nose.

"...why me..."

* * *

'Oh Dust Jaune don't think about it don't think about it no, no, no...' He tried to purge the mental image from his mind. However, Jaune couldn't fight it much longer.

'...why me...' He succumbed, and imagined a half-naked Weiss, her bare torso wrapped in bandages, beckoning to him from the bed. Her face was flushed, and her expression seductive.

'Come, Jaune...m-make me whole...'

"...dude, your nose is bleeding."

"...shit."

Needless to say, after she got a full explanation, Pyrrha refused to talk to Jaune for the rest of the day- unless he went around the entire school dressed as Saber. Desperate not to anger his best friend, he complied.

And so, on that day, Jaune realised that Ren wasn't the ONLY one who thought he looked cute as a girl.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Finally, got that out of the way. Woo! Yeah! Probably somewhat lackluster...*sigh* Well, at least this next one won't be. Thanks to the delightful Melanie Malachite (their name at the time of publishing), Weiss Reacts to RubyRolled! is our next chapter! Woo! Yeah! **

**So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, leave your reviews, suggestions, thoughts and criticism, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	19. Special Chapter 6: RubyRolled!

Weiss Reacts to RubyRolled!

**A/N: Yes. This is happening. All I have to say.**

**DISCLAIMER: RubyRolled! belongs to Melanie Malachite*. Far too genius for me anyway.**

**RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Jaune would be an otaku.**

***username at time of writing.**

* * *

"Do you ever get the impression we're too silly?" Yang asked Weiss curiously as she began comparing two separate pairs of cat ear headbands; the latter hadn't even bothered asking her about what she was using them for. It WAS Yang- it was bound to be something stupid and Weiss wanted nothing to do with it. She turned around to her teammate, shrugging.

"Uh...sometimes. Why?"

"I dunno. Just a feeling I had." Yang shrugged. "Although shoving Ren into a maid outfit MAAAAY have been a bit too silly..."

"Y-yeah. I totally agree." Weiss snorted.

Of course, being the girl she was, having seen the pictures, she'd concluded- as did every girl and boy in all of Beacon- that they would most definitely tap Ren in a maid outfit. Being the girl she was, of course, she denied it utterly.

"Hey, uh, Yang? You write fanfic, right?"  
"Yeah, why?" She looked curiously at the heiress, who swallowed nervously. The question had been floating around on her mind for weeks- but with the chaos of Saber and that weird boy with the blue hair showing up, vacation crap, so on and so forth, she hadn't found the time to do so. She decided to voice her question now.

"Uh...would you mind giving me pointers?" She'd planned to ask Jaune; however, the JNPR team leader had been busy of late, mostly hanging out with Cardin and Pyrrha, watching anime and talking about it. And, of course, GreatMoonGuardian hadn't been available for a while- Weiss didn't know why, even though he'd offered to give her pointers as well.

She was snapped out of her deep thought by Yang, who smiled. "Sure. Just...write what comes naturally."

"That's it?"

"Well, that and get a beta checker." She shrugged. "I'm a writer, not a teacher, princess."

"...uhuh." Weiss sighed. She knew it. Yang wouldn't be too much help. She turned to her screen and refreshed the page, when she noted a newly updated fanfic.

"...RubyRolled?" She tilted her head. "...should I read this? I don't think so..." Yang stood up and walked over, holding a pair of cat ears the same color as Blake's, looking over at the screen. "...it has me in it? READ IT. I COMMAND YOU."

"What?"

"I SAID READ IT WEISS" Yang shouted. "I MUST SEE THIS MADNESS"

"...you and your sister are mad, I swear." She clicked on the story, zooming to the last chapter, as Yang squealed happily.

"Yay, fanfic with me in it~ I feel so loved~"

* * *

Meanwhile, Velvet finished reading the subject matter of the chapter. She didn't seem amused.

"ELF-KUN! WHY DID THIS PERSON GET ME WRONG? I LIKE WEISS-SEMPAI! NOT JAUNE-KUN! WEISS-SEMPAI IS MY KNIGHT IN SHINING ARM-"

As if to answer her response, a giant heavenly finger emerged from the heavens, approaching Velvet's head...and flicked her in the ear. She pouted.

"QUIT WHINING VELVET I'M TRYING TO WRITE HERE"

"B-but Elf-kun..."

"NO. I SHOULD NEVER HAVE GIVEN YOU FOURTH WALL OBSERVER POWERS, DAMMIT. I THOUGHT YOU'D END UP LIKE PINKIE PIE, OR DEADPOOL OR SOMETHING. GO PLAN ANOTHER WEISS KIDNAPPING SCHEME, I DUNNO. I'M NOT PLANNING THIS SHIT FOR YOU." With that, the finger ascended, and Velvet sighed.

"...so Elf-kun really won't help me get Weiss-sempai...or tell this person that I'm into Sempai and Sempai alone..." She giggled insanely.

"...j-just you wait...s-she'll be all mine...y-you'll see. You'll ALL see." With that, her insane giggling escalated into evil laughter.

Or, at least, as evil as an incredibly moe bunnygirl, who sounded vaguely like a certain infamous moeblob did could.

* * *

"...that's totally unrealistic." Weiss shook her head.

"...w-where was I? THIS FANFIC PROMISED ME AND I AM NOT SATISFIED WITH THIS." Yang looked shocked. The heiress gave her an irritated look. "That's totally not right. Besides, we all know Velvet is pretty much a psycho...lesbian? Or single-target sexuality, towards me?"  
"A bit of both. I've taught you well, my student~ BUT I STILL WANT TO SEE SOME ME CHAPTERS DUST DAMMIT."

"Uh...yeah." Weiss sighed. "To be fair to them, we did kinda skip towards the end chapter. Shall we read all of it."  
"Yes, lets. I need to find my me chapters." The brawler seemed determined on getting what she was promised by the fanfic blurb. The heiress sighed.

"This might take a while."

"...what. Did Ruby just...do that? And I am so NOT a heartless witch." Weiss pouted. "I have...normal skin. And I don't look...old."  
"I don't think Sailor Moon's appropriate." Yang shook her head. "And I'm offended she portrayed me as a brainless retard." She scoffed. "I'm not a retard!"  
"Agreed." Weiss muttered; she certainly was brainless, she'd give her that.

"Besides, Gurren Lagann and Black Lagoon would be more interesting to cross over with RWBY and fairy tales!"  
Weiss gave her a deadpan look. "What."

Blake shouted from outside the window, clutching a very sharp looking drill. "THIS IS THE DRILL THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!" Weiss merely gave her a deadpan glare, and Blake sank back below, disappointed. Sighing, the heiress turned around to the monitor. "At least they got my characterisation right."

"Yes- as boring and tsundere as always!"  
"...shut it, Xiao Long." Yang smiled cheerily in response.

"A-as if! I don't play Pokemon!" Weiss balked at the screen. "B-besides, I think Shin Megami Tensei's much better!"

"...Pokemon is kinda like Shin Megami Tensei." Yang responded calmly. "Also, I play both."

"Tch, peasant. The Persona games are nothing LIKE the main series." Weiss dismissed her statement with a brush of the hand; she'd seen the cases for the third and fourth game of the series underneath Yang's bed.  
Yang snorted. "Yeah, they're so much better. The setting's good, the music's amazing, and hey, the characters are quite nice..."

* * *

Elsewhere in this strange mix of Vytal, Earth, and various other worlds, Yukari sneezed.

"Did someone complime-"

"No time for that, Takeba! We need to get filming!"

"Oh, sorry." She sighed. She grabbed her props and ran onto the set, muttering to herself.

"I swear, sometimes I think some weirdo's inserting me in stories for their own amusement."

* * *

**A/N: I am so sorry.**

* * *

"So...yeah." Yang had just finished explaining why she preferred the Persona series to mainstream SMT. However...Weiss had sat there looking offended at the screen; Yang sighed, knowing full well Weiss hadn't paid attention at all.

"And I'd never cheer like that!" Weiss sighed. "I don't like the concept that I might even think of doing so!"

She was lying, of course. Every last blasted battle, whether it was a game, training, or a real mission, Weiss would often trashtalk her enemies and gloat. It was a habit she'd kept from her days of being a general jerk- Ruby, Yang and Blake had noticed she'd never shaken the habit.

Yang snorted. "Y-yeah, sure you don't. And I'd never play Farmville! That stuff's boring!"

"Whoa, you're actually capable of discerning games that have taste; even if they're clearly inferior. You DO have a brain." Weiss remarked sarcastically.

Yang pouted. "I pride myself on being stupid. How dare you?"

"True." She sighed. "Let's get reading to the next chapter already."Wait..."  
"Yes?"  
"...didn't we see Blake play Slender?"

"Yes...I think we did." She smirked. "Was it around the time Blake decided to leave notes around the school at night and dress up like Slenderman to scare the hell out of everyone?"  
"Yeah. Jaune utterly pissed himself!"  
"Man, I love Blake sometimes."

And so onwards through the chapters they ambled, slightly drunkenly.

* * *

"I think they got Blake's personality right!"  
Yang scrutinised the methods Blake used. "Hm...I know Blake prefers maple syrup..."

"What is with you people and maple syrup?"  
"I dunno." She shrugged. "It's a thing, I guess."

Weiss sighed. "You and Blake sometimes..."

"Hey, at least I didn't slather Myrtenaster in tuna!" The heiress gasped. "What?"  
"Blake did it, I swear."

"...I'm going to kill her, I swear." Weiss grumbled. "That made it STINK."

Yang nodded in agreement. 'Okay...plan B enabled...so now I have Weiss on my side...I WILL get her back for the time when she swapped out my shampoo for maple syrup!' She thought.

Weiss snorted at the letter. "Yeah, totally true. I-I'd never consider Ruby romantically! S-she's a complete dunce! A-and she's a girl!"

"...did we mention you're a complete tsundere, AND either the gayest of them all or bisexual?"  
"S-shut up! I don't like Ruby! Or Jaune!"

"I never said anything about Jaune." Yang smirked. "Busted."

"...I deny everything."

"I know you do."

"...j-just move to the next chapter already, i-idiot!"

Yang's laughter could be heard down the hall.

* * *

"Why did we all die?!" Weiss looked in shock at the screen.

"Because Velvet apparently has a hard-on for Jaune."  
"And I do NOT have a fetish for Faunus!"  
Yang muttered. "You're right, you have a fetish for little girls in red hoods."  
"WHAT WAS THAT, XIAO LONG?!"  
"...nothing."

Weiss sighed, turning back to the screen and reading the chapter again.

"...who's Kara Eberle?" Weiss blinked.  
"Your voice actor, apparently." Yang shrugged. "I always thought you'd be voiced by Rie Kugimiya."

"...what?" She tilted her head.

"Hey, if we're doing voice acting of ourselves, we'd be the best ones to hire, right? So I'm doing this off the assumption we're hired for voice acting ourselves." The brawler reasoned. "If we were to do a foreign dub, therefore, it makes sense that you'd be voiced by someone pigeonholed for tsunderes!"

"I swear upon the Dust that I use for weapons, Xiao Long, if you call me a tsundere again, I'm going to end your life." The heiress gave her a glare that could kill Grimm, Shadows, or whatever you wanted it to kill, really. Yang sighed. "Just saying.

"Also, isn't the term seiyuu for Japanese voice actors?"  
"How'd you know?" Yang perked up.

"Ruby told me." Weiss stated. "Also, Lindsay Tuggey?"

"Don't know who she is either. The name sounds familiar...and for some reason, I hear the name Barbara when I think about who'd voice me..." Yang shrugged, before continuing.

"Hm...now that you mention it, I don't think I've heard of either." Yang had a thoughtful expression on her face. "Well, if they sound anything like us, they've got to be good voice actors, right?"

"I think so..." Weiss conceded. "Although, there's a running theme of Velvet trying to get us all killed, or writing us all dying...to be fair, she likes doing that anyway. Just with me instead of Jaune."

"Yeah...totally like Yuno."  
"What?"

"Nothing~"

"...so basically, this fanfic is complete and absolute crack and meta."

"Yep."

"So basically our world."  
"Yep. Only in our world, Velvet's a lesbian, Blake's sneakier, Nora and Ren are actually a couple, we keep making pointless references to anime, and apparently our favourite toku actress is also a Persona user, who apparently used to be more tsundere than you! Oh, and we're crossed over with every anime, ever."

"..."

"...just pretend I didn't say anything." Yang sighed. 'I hate seeing through the fourth wall. Curse you, Elf.'

Weiss continued on, completely baffled about the conversation that had just proceeded. She noted down the names mentioned for further research.

Meanwhile...

Velvet mumbled to herself, while typing so quickly that her fingers were nothing but blurs on her keyboard.

"Hm...we'll probably have thirty children...Dust shenanigans...hm...this person has no imagination.

If I wanted kids, I'd make thirty with Weiss-sempai~ Twelve is too little~"

* * *

Weiss and Yang sat back in their chairs, laughing. The chapter they'd just read reminded them of their own Christmas celebration.

"Oh, man...that was...hilarious..." Yang spat out, trying to regain her breath. "The dog...oh, I should totally have given Blake that for Christmas..."

"I laugh at the idea that Ruby might give me a lewd book for Christmas." Weiss said imperiously. "I'd say she'd be more likely to give me a form-fitting catsuit."  
"Yeah, a lewd book's too tame for my little sis~"

"Thanks for reminding me that your sister's a pervert." Weiss muttered darkly. Yang responded, offended. "Ugh, of course not! It's a healthy adolescent sex drive!" Weiss merely gave her a deadpan look, to which Yang responded by quickly changing the subject.

"Say, what DID she give you for Christmas?"  
"A...shark plushie." Weiss blushed. "...i-it was a nice gesture, alright?!"

Yang sighed. "Oh, Weiss, you've got it baaaad~"

"Shut it."

"Oh, right, miss Bossyboots doesn't want everyone to know she's gay for Ruby. Got it." Yang mockingly saluted the heiress.

"What did she get you anyway?"  
"Jeff Williams...hey, this guy's psychic! Although...she did also get me a couple of CDs of Risette, Pentakill and Black Sabbath, so...hey, one out of four isn't bad!"

"...you actually listen to Risette?"  
"What?" Yang looked at Weiss like she was stupid. "Hey, I can like pop idols AND rock!"

"...well, true point." Weiss shrugged- she still had the Risette pinup book she'd found in Yang's closet.

"But seriously, why would he make YOU give Blake a dog?"

"...I dunno." The heiress shrugged. "Maybe because I never usually prank anyone?"

"Yeah, mainly me and Blake anyway." She shrugged. "Still, I have to admit, THAT was hilarious."

"Booping hilarious." Weiss smirked.

"Making jokes, are we?"  
"Tis the season to be jolly."

* * *

"...WHY WOULD IT SUCK TO BE ME?!" The heiress exploded at the screen. "I'M NOT A STUCKUP BOSSYSKIRT! HOW DARE THEY?!"

Yang was laughing at her teammate's reaction to her less than shining portrayal. Her thoughts went as follows.

'Oh man...Weiss is so funny when she gets pissed...I've got to stop laughing, I think I'm gonna pee myself...no, Yang, don't do it...'

Weiss breathed heavily and slowly, trying to calm down. "...tch. Stupid peasant. What would they know about me?"

"...well," Yang sounded out of breath. "He's got a point."

"What's that mean, Xiao Long?" For the umpteenth time in so many minutes, Weiss gave her yet another death glare. Yang weathered it with the classic coolness she wielded.

"He certainly got everyone right this time. I AM too cool for anyone to be me."

"...next thing you know, you'll be asking for a statue of yourself to be made outside."

"Yeah!" Yang pumped her fist. "That's a great idea! Maybe I might get the guy who wrote this to even write me a speech when they finish!"  
"...you're such a narcissist."

"I know. I'm awesome like that."

* * *

"WOO!" Yang pumped her fist. "I MADE KYUBEY PISS OFF!"  
"..." Weiss tilted her head. "...you watch FAR too much anime."  
"And you watch far too little."

"I watch just enough."

"Watching Sailor Moon with us doesn't count."

"...screw you. A-Anime's for peasants." Weiss frowned.

"Explain Animeco-"  
"SHUT IT XIAO LONG IT WAS METAPHORICAL"

"..." Yang shook her head. She knew Weiss was being a big fat liar this time as well; she caught sight of DVD boxsets for Code Geass, Ranma ½ and Lucky Star under Weiss' bed as well- she'd even nicked the Ranma boxset for her and Ruby to watch, as her sister was dying to watch it.

'...le sigh...why does Weiss have to be such a tsundere? She's just as much of a baka as she likes calling people...'

Weiss sighed, pulling up the review box. "Well then."

"...oh don't tell me you're leaving a bad review for this." Yang frowned. "Besides, it WAS pretty funny."

"...I suppose, Yang. I suppose." The heiress sighed and typed up her review of the story.

* * *

-From: **TheRealIceHeiress**

...I suppose this was incredibly funny. Well done. I have several problems with my portrayal throughout the story- I am NOT bossy. At all. That is a complete lie.

And secondly, Ruby is NOT at all lesbian. No. She's straight as a post. I think.

Otherwise, well done. I hope to see more from you.

-Weiss Schnee

* * *

"Happy, Xiao Long?"  
"Very much so." She smiled cheerily. Weiss sighed and shook her head; she HAD enjoyed spending time with Yang. True, Yang was an utter gadfly. True, Yang was more irritating than Ruby at her most obsessed, Jaune at his flirtiest, and Velvet at HER most obsessed combined. And true, Yang liked nothing more than to tease her. But, nonetheless, Yang was a good friend. Weiss was just about to say as much when she remembered something...

"...I know you have my yaoi manga."

"Oh, so you admit to it now, do you?" Yang smirked. "Don't worry, I'll just show it to Jaune and-"

"IF YOU DARE DO IT I WILL MURDER YOU"

"Too laaaate~" With that, Yang ran outside the room, waving a copy of the manga. "Heeeey Jaaaaauney-boooooy! I've got something from Weeeeiss!"  
"COME BACK HERE SO I CAN EXECUTE YOU FOR TREASON"

Insanity ensued.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: I have no idea who'd voice RWBY if it was dubbed by an actual production house or something. Probably the people who did Lyrical Nanoha or Puella Magi- Elf too lazy to remember names off top of head. Also, this was a little YangxWeiss friendship fluff in disguise- I'm just that sneaky, aren't I? :3**

**Trope references! Woo! I hope this is enough to get this a works page! N-not that I want one, or anything. I kinda do, but you know...yeah. Stuff. So...yeah. A shout out to you, Melanie, for writing that incredible fic, if you're reading this at present! Go read RubyRolled! by the way, guys, it's far, far superior to this piece of crap~**

**Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed that. The next chapter will be...Weiss Reacts to Fanservice! Yeah! Woo! Stuff! Leave your reviews, comments, suggestions and criticism, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and have a great day! Until next time!**


	20. Weiss Reacts to Fanservice!

**Weiss Reacts to Fanservice!**

**A/N: I HAD to. I'm sorry. Weiss is fun to tease. VERY fun to tease. Oh well, I'm sure you enjoy seeing her embarrassed and secretly aroused face too guys :3 Also, must get fanservice (mostly) out of the system. There'll still be fanservice, for you kiddies who seem to be dirtier than we think :P**

**Also, happy 20th chapter! *breaks out party hats and firecrackers***

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Yang would break the fourth wall copiously.**

* * *

"What is with you people and half-nakedness?" Weiss wagged a disapproving finger at Yang and Ruby- the both of them had, for the umpteenth time since Weiss had bought a computer, changed her screensaver to a generic, half-naked girl- "It's one of the pictures from Catherine!" Yang protested- and she was getting tired of it all- the LAST time she'd had it changed, Blake changed it to a picture of a Pikachu.

"Not my idea!" Yang protested again. "Ruby's the one who played the game!"

"Hehe..."

"...I swear, if I get my wallpaper changed again..." The heiress glared at both of them, who started laughing. "What's so funny?!"

"N-nothing! We swear, Weiss!"  
"N-nothing at all!"

Weiss growled- as in, a literal, animalistic growl. "Dust damn you both." The pair walked off, laughing. The heiress sighed as she resumed her seat.

"Those two...I'll never understand them as long as I live." She shook her head. "Ruby may be cute, but she's a dunce. A deviant, weird, cute dunce." Shaking her head, she went to open her Documents folder when-

"RUBY! YANG! WHAT THE DUST IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

Needless to say, lewd pictures found themselves on Weiss' hard drive, which she erased with the speed of a thousand Rubys on sugar highs.

* * *

As they heard the shouting from RWBY dorm, the pair descended into laughter again.

"Man, did she find them?"  
"Oh, yes she did~" Yang said in between laughs. "I love Blake sometimes...she came up with the idea of showing her those."

"Yeah, she's so cute when she's embarrassed~" Ruby squeed at the image of embarrassed Weiss; the heiress was often embarrassed, often by either seeing the lewd images from the various lewd games Yang played and the pranks she and Blake pulled, or sometimes, the stupid things Ruby did.

"Yeah, definitely." The blonde girl smirked. "Say, Rubes...would you like to...help me make her look even more moe~"  
"Why, yes, sis, I'd love to see her more moe~" Ruby smiled eagerly.

"Right. Imma need you to get the maid outfit out."  
"Which one?"  
"That one."  
"That one?"  
"Yep."

"What else?"  
"I'm going to need a pair of scissors, maple syrup, and two..." The brawler spied Jaune and Ren walking past, unaware of the plotting going on. "...volunteers."

She smiled mischievously.

* * *

"Hmph. I-I don't like these...indecent pictures..." Weiss muttered to herself as she browsed through the fanfic archive. As of late, there seemed to be a lot of...indecent things going on around her- she was thankful that none of it graduated to anything worse than a few fantasies, some indecent clothing and a lot of lewd gestures.

But she couldn't help wondering about something; during one of these indecent moments, loath as Weiss was to admit it, she had admitted her love for...two particular dunces. This stuck with her- and although Blake had kept her promise and hadn't told anyone else, she couldn't help but wonder.

Was she...descending to the same depths of indecency and insanity as the world around her? Surely it couldn't hurt that she liked Ruby and Jaune, in that way, right? Weiss sighed.

"No...no, it can't be wrong, surely. Right? Y-Yang would know...no. I can never tell that girl." She shook her head, unconsciously clicking on a fic her cursor was hanging over. "...I'm never going to get the issue resolved unless I talk to them about it." The heiress exhaled, before looking at the screen.

"Hm...wait..." She tilted her head, before her eyes widened in realisation.

"WHAT?! WHY AM I READING THIS?!"

* * *

"Hey, Jaune!" Ruby came up to the JNPR team leader and Ren, smiling.

"Hey, Ruby. What do you want?"  
"Um, could you come with me for a sec?" Ruby held out a broken ammo cartridge. "I...kinda need someone to help me fix it..."

"You're handy enough...and I kinda can't hold the thing open long enough to get the thermobaric sensory dustosensor in..."  
"The what?" Jaune , of course, was being distracted from the events going on behind him.

Ren saw a bottle of maple syrup being lowered in front of his face. The sable-haired boy, of course, could not resist the godly liquid of sweetness.

"SYRUP! MINE!" He grasped at it, clenching it tightly with both hands. "My...Precious..." As he tried to open the lid with his teeth, a sack fell over his body, tightening at the bottom, and was pulled up into a vent.

"ARGH! NO! MINE! MY PRECIOUS! DON'T TAKE IT AWAY, SNEAKING THIEVESES!" Ren snarled at an invisible predator...which, as the sack opened, revealed itself to be Yang, smirking. In the darkness, Ren could tell what she was carrying in her other hand; a hanger, with a maid costume.

"Oh, hey."

"...I'm not going to like this, am I?" He sighed.  
"No. But if you do it for me, you can keep the syrup."

"Fine. Make it quick, Yang. I already have to deal with enough embarrassment as it is.

The amount of people checking me out..." He shuddered.

Meanwhile, below, Jaune sighed.

"Fine, Ruby, I'll help you."

"Yay!" Ruby cheered and dragged Jaune off to the nearest closet. As he was dragged off, Jaune, without turning around, shouted back to Ren. "I'll be right back! I'm just going to help Ruby fix something, kay?"

As the door shut, the sounds of scissors cutting their way through fabric and yelling were heard, followed by Ruby's quick 'Sorry!'.

Then...

"Whoa."

* * *

Weiss stared in shock at the screen; the fanfic she'd clicked on depicted...exactly what she'd been mulling on; a relationship with her, Jaune and Ruby. Not necessarily in the least indecent way either.

"W-what..." She shook her head, embarrassed. She couldn't read it...but she HAD to. It was just...compelling. Weiss, as if driven by an unseen force, began to slowly read the whole story, top to bottom, taking everything in, her face slowly turning redder at every lewd, indecent and perverted thing she saw.

"..." She stared at the screen.

"...I-I never realised someone c-could use i-ice cream and maple s-syrup like that..." As the mental image began forming in her mind, the heiress banished it just as quickly. "N-no!"

She shook her head, too shocked and embarrassed to continue reading and to scream in anger.

"...w-who would write such a thing...i-it's so...indecent..."

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere in Beacon...

Militiades Malachite started cackling.

"This. Is. PERFECT." She cackled insanely at the screen, at the fanfic she had just written; of a three-way relationship between Jaune, Ruby, and Weiss, and the inevitable sexual relations.

"Wahahahahaha!" She continued laughing.

"Milly?" Melanie poked her head in from the other room, frowning.

"Yes?"  
"Someone's been impersonating me again." She sighed. "People seem to like me for some reason." As she walked in, she continued. "Hey, Milly, what're you-wait." She strolled in, reading the fic on her sister's screen.

"...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! T-THAT'S SO DIRTY!"

"...it's a healthy adolescent sex drive, dammit!"  
"It is most certainly not!" She frowned. "Bad Milly!"

Militiades pouted. "B-but...Mel..."

"Nonsense. You write lemons too much."

"...what about the one you wrote shipping yourself with some guy called...Hisao?"  
At this, Melanie blushed. "S-shut up about that, y-you idiot!"  
"What, embarrassed?"  
"I-I swear, I-I don't even-"

"Who's the indecent one now, huh?"  
"...I hate you so much, Milly." Melanie glared at her, and the red-clothed girl swallowed in fear. She hadn't seen that glare ever since Yang beat her in a battle simulation.

"Uh-oh..."

* * *

"It is so...indecent..." Weiss stood up, mumbling. "Indecent...indecent. Indecent." Her fist began to curl itself.

"...WHO WOULD WRITE SUCH A THING?! S-SURELY THERE HAS TO BE A GOOD REASON?! A-AND HOW DO THEY KNOW? HOW DO THEY KNOW?!" She shrieked.

"T-THIS IS...UNACCEPTABLE! I MUST FIND THE CULPRITS!" Weiss resolved, taking out Myrtenaster.

"Yes...I must find the culprits...and execute them."

Velvet crept up on RWBY dorm's door, holding a box of vanilla sorbet and a sack with rope. This was her chance- she saw Blake falling from the sky, a broken drill in her hand, and Ruby leave the dorm with Yang, so Weiss was probably alone.

"N-now's our chance, Velvet...now's our chance..." She slowly made for the door, her hand moving towards the doorknob-

And suddenly, her and it were smashed against the wall as Weiss kicked it open.  
"I SWEAR, BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL, BY GRABTHAR'S HAMMER, I SHALL AVENGE MY MODESTY!" She marched out; unaware of the imminent danger she had been in earlier. Behind the door, Velvet slumped.

"...m-maybe next time..." She lost consciousness, dreaming of many naked Weisses; as much as people liked to say that Weiss was the 'gayest' of them all for Ruby, Velvet was FAR worse.

* * *

Meanwhile...

Ruby stared at Jaune's exposed chest. To say it was ripped would be an understatement; the boy really had worked out a lot since he came to Beacon. His muscles were so defined and sharp, his skin was tan, and...well, Ruby had never imagined that the geeky, awkward boy she hung around with sometimes was this muscular.

"Whoa..."

"Uh, what?" Jaune looked at her, clueless.

'...did Yang know he was this ripped?' She thought to herself. "Uh..." The crimsonette shook her head. "Nothing." With a deft push of her hand, she shut the cartridge closed, making it appear fixed.

"I think we fixed it."

"...was cutting my clothes off really necessary?"  
Ruby blushed. "Uh...yeah! It's kinda hot in here! And...uh...yeah!"

"...well, okay..." Jaune sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "I'll just get going now and get me some new clothes...try to warn me next time, kay? See you around, I guess." He walked out and Ruby followed.

'I know I'm not the one who thinks this, usually...but DEM ABS. Who knew that this guy could be mistaken for a girl?!'

As Jaune walked off, he bumped into someone. "Oh, sorry."

"...Jaune?" He looked up, to see Ren, in a maid outfit. He was irritated, to say the least.

"...Ren?"  
"...Yang needs us in her scheme. And don't bother running, boy." He grasped Jaune's wrist. "If you run, I have to stay in this for the rest of the day, do you understand?!" The look of desperation in Ren's eyes persuaded the blond boy, and he sighed.

"Fine, I'll help Yang...but seriously, don't you think she's going too far?"

"Sometimes..." He shook his head. As he did, he spied Yang walking past.

Yang walked across to her sister. "So, the plan suceeded?"  
"Yeah...but Jaune's-"  
"Absolutely ripped, I know." Yang interrupted her. "Hey, sis. You know I love you, right?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Well, I just need to do this for the plan. I saw this in the Persona playthrough I was doing, and I just thought that making someone wear this would be interesting."  
"Wha-" Before she was finished speaking, Ruby was dragged into a closet by Yang, squirming as she realised what was in Yang's other hand.

A very high-cut bikini, labelled 'HIGH-CUT ARMOR'.

* * *

Militia walked around, sighing. After seeing her sister irritated, she realised that the best option was possibly to exit the dorm and buy her some Black Forest cake- her favourite food.

As she strolled around, she ran into Weiss, who looked a mix between angry and ashamed.

"Uh...hey...Weiss, right?"  
"Yes," She nodded. "Have you seen a tall girl, long blonde hair, leather jacket, purple eyes?"

"...Yang?"

"Yes, have you seen her?"  
"No, why?" Militia tilted her head.

Weiss grumbled. "I'm going to KILL that girl."  
"Why?"  
"She wrote this fanfic about me and Jaune and Ruby...just...it's so indecent! Why- WHY would ANYONE use maple syrup and ice cream like that! Just..." She shook her head, stalking off in the opposite direction from Militia, who gulped.

"...that's my fanfic...oh crap." She shook her head worriedly. "What have I created..." The red-clothed girl followed Weiss closely, both out of concern for Yang and out of a sick fascination towards what was going to happen next.

* * *

Meanwhile, Yang arranged her three models; a shirtless Jaune- absolutely ripped-, a meido Ren, and Ruby in a chainmail bikini.

"Why am I in this, Yang?!"

"Because she's a pervert and she imagines you naked." Yang nodded.  
"...so she DOES like me!" Ruby cheered, pumping her fist.

"Just get it over with already." Jaune and Ren glowered at Yang.

"Why?" The crimsonette frowned. "I kinda like this bikini! It's loose and comfy to wear! I thought it'd chafe and look-"

"J-just shut up already, Ruby!" Jaune was noticeably averting his eyes from Ruby. "I-I want to get this over with already."

"Right!" Yang smiled mischievously. "We are going to surprise Weiss by going to the dorm, knocking, and popping in! Then, I'll take a picture of her reaction and we'll be golden!"

"...just do it already, Yang."

From outside, Weiss could be heard screaming. "YANG XIAO LONG, I WILL END YOUR PETTY LIFE, YOU PEASANT! IN THE NAME OF THE MOON!"

"Oh, here she comes! My plan's coming together kinda quicker than I expected! Quickly!" She shoved the three into the door.

"Pop out at her when she comes past!"  
"But-"

"In one...two...three!" The blonde brawler shoved the door open and the trio clambered out awkwardly.

* * *

"YANG! WHERE ARE YOU-" Weiss was interrupted by the appearance of three people in front of her.

As she began to process who they all were, she gasped.

"...w-w-what are you w-w-wearing...Ruby...a-and where's your shirt, Jaune?" She blinked, shocked. Jaune rubbed the back of his head. "Uh...someone kinda cut it off..."

"A bikini." Ruby stated matter-of-factly. Weiss realised something quickly.

'N-no...i-it's becoming true...b-but they look so...oh Dust, Schnee, why must you...they look so...sexy...' With that, Weiss turned a deep shade of red and fainted. The embarrassment was too much for her.

Ren pouted. "I love how she didn't notice me at all." He sighed, walking back to JNPR dorm, dragging his dumbfounded friend with him. Ruby poked Weiss with her finger.

"Uh...Yang?"  
"Yeeesss?" She was snapping pictures of the swirly-eyed, embarrassed heiress.

"I think you over-did it with the fanservice..."

"I...might have, yeah." She rubbed the back of her head, grinning toothily. "But hey, she looks moe, right?"

"I...guess so..."

Militia turned away from the scene, shuddering.

"...well, shit. I kinda screwed up...best not let Weiss know I wrote that..." She crept away very quickly from the scene, in case the raging heiress awoke and smote her down.

* * *

Meanwhile, Blake walked back into the chaos, her heaven-piercing drill shattered. Her normally perfect hair had bits of leaves, twigs and Dust-knows what, and her clothing was dirtied and blasted in various places. Her expression was only vaguely disappointed.

"Guess they didn't believe in me enough...one day, Kamina-san. One day!" She then realised just what she was looking at.

"Oh Dust. When she wakes up..." The disheveled catgirl threw her drill aside and ran away as fast as she could.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Fanservice galore. Woo! Yeah! Also, had to address the existence of a writer 'Melanie Malachite' and the character 'Melanie Malachite' somehow, even as an one-off gag.* Oh, did I mention they'll be showing up more now? Oh, and the trailers will probably be ignored, except when it's funniest to. Sorry lads.**

***Sorry Melanie, if you're reading this. Rule of Funny prevailed :c**

**Well, for the first time in ever, I can give you guys the chapter list for the next couple of chapters! Yes! Hooray for planning!**

**Next up: Weiss Reacts to Script Fics!**

**In no particular order afterwards, Special Chapter: Weiss Reacts to The Shadow of Fire, thanks to the wonderful Dagger of Faith, Weiss Reacts to Abridged Series, and Special Chapter: Weiss Reacts to TvTropes!**

**Thanks for reading, leave your reviews, criticisms, suggestions and thoughts, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	21. Weiss Reacts to Revenge Fics!

**Weiss Reacts to...Revenge Fics!**

**A/N: Yes, this is the third time I've replaced a chapter. Good news; for anyone waiting for scriptfics, the chapter will most definitely happen after Weiss Reacts to TvTropes. However, the reason I changed the chapter is because I found the concept of a revenge fic hilarious (seriously, guys, these are fictional characters, no need to hate 'em enough to want them dead...).**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Pyrrha would be a troper.**

* * *

Weiss laid flat on her bed, browsing the Dustnet with her tablet, a cup of tea in her free hand. Ruby was up on her bunk, playing what seemed to be Pokémon- judging by the fact she was cursing some random guy's Gyarados, most likely- and Blake and Yang could be heard nearby, taking turns playing what sounded to Weiss like Persona. Judging by their frustrated cries of irritation, it wasn't going too well.

The heiress sighed. "Amateurs." She continued browsing the Dustnet, sighing. She was feeling bored again- unsurprising, considering that for the umpteenth time, _somebody _had stolen her yaoi manga and of course, Blake was downloading some ungodly large game that lagged her computer down, so Weiss was forced to use her tablet.

"Someday, you peasants. Someday." She shook her head and continued reading through the archives, eventually stopping on a curious looking fanfiction. She heard Ruby cry in jubilation above her and assumed she won, shaking her head before turning back to her fanfic.

"...Break? A...curious title for a fanfic." Weiss looked at it curiously. It seemed to have a lot of reviews, for such a recently uploaded fanfic- it seemed to have been uploaded in the last couple of hours!

"Hm...it seems to be popular. I should read it, I suppose..." She went into reading it, her curiosity getting the better of her.

* * *

Elsewhere in Beacon...

Melanie threw her 3DS across the bed from her. "I HATE POKEMON SO MUCH"

"Uh...did you lose?" Miltiades piped in.

"Yes!" The white-clothed girl muttered. "I-I had them cornered with Gary!"  
"...Gary? Really? That's what you name a Gyarados, Mel?"  
"I was short for names!" She sighed. "Damn Ruby. Damn her." Melanie sidled over to her sister, watching what she was doing.

"Milly? What're you doing?"  
"Uh, some stuff." She shrugged. "Mainly, seeing what the hubbub is about this fanfic, called 'Break'."

"Huh?"  
"A darkfic." Miltiades shrugged. "Apparently, it's been hauled up in some discussion on why darkfics are bad."  
"I personally don't like 'em." Melanie shrugged. "Too...dark. And angsty. But mainly dark."  
"I don't mind 'em, myself, Mels. Long as they aren't too dark- I like my fanfics fluffy, personally." The red-clothed girl shrugged. "Stil-Whoa!"  
"What?"  
"The reviews!"  
"Yeah?"  
"Mels...oh Dust. Oh DUST!" She stared with wide eyes at the reviews section. "Just...what?!"  
Melanie looked at it, horrified as well.

"Oh. My. Dust."

* * *

Weiss read through the fanfic, unaware of the horror she was about to experience.

"So it's a typical holiday situation?" She nodded, flicking through it. "Hm...myself, Yang, Blake and Ruby, out to a typical day in Vale..." Weiss noted the scenario as she read through. It was a fairly typical slice of life scenario, really; Blake being her typical, quiet self, Ruby being as hyperactive as ever, and Yang being, well, Yang.

The four of them were walking around on the ocean side in Vale, chatting and doing typical things- munching on cookies, talking about their classes, and generally being friendly with each other.

"Hm. The name 'Break' seems to be a wonderfully fitting name; it seems we do indeed get a break." The heiress noted. "Dust knows how I need one from these dunces..."

From the other room...

"Dammit, Blake!"

"What?!"  
"SHE USED FUCKING MARIN KARIN AGAIN. DUST DAMMIT."

"SERIOUSLY?!" The sounds of rustling and struggling.

"Hey, I deserve a second turn!"  
"Nuh-uh, you already tried it three times!"  
"Well I want another go!"  
"No! No snuggles for a month if you do this to me, Blake!"  
"...I hate you so much."

* * *

"M-Mels..." Miltiades looked horrified. "...h-how could someone..."

"...t-that's d-d-dark...e-even by the standards of the Dustnet..."

The two girls had just read the various shocked, horrified and scared responses to 'Break'. The fanfic seemed to, according to these reports, contain copious amounts of insanity- not the funny kind either-, murder, and mental breakage.

All to break one Weiss Schnee down to a whimpering wreck.

To make it worse, the author seemed to not care a dot that he was horrifying his readers- and not in the best kind of way, either- instead making it clear that this was more of a hatefic towards a character he despised than a darkfic meant to entertain anyone, as made clear by his responses within the review section.

"...w-who'd write such a thing?" Milly muttered. "I mean, I've seen some good darkfics; Blood Rose being one...but this...this isn't a dark fic. This is just plain sick!"  
Melanie nodded in agreement. "I-I agree, Milly..."  
"...w-we've got to find Weiss." Milly stood up, grabbing her crimson petticoat. "Gotta warn her to stay away from this fic. This guy practically has a hate-on for her..."  
"Uhuh." Melanie nodded, grabbing her own ivory petticoat. "I wouldn't like to see her sob her eyes out reading that thing."

"Agreed." And so the Malachite sisters set out on a mission.

* * *

"Okay...so it's getting darker..." Weiss noted. "And yet we're still out and about?" She nodded. "That seems like an odd...wait...who's watching us?" The heiress noted that the story seemed to be implying that someone was stalking the group.

"...oh?" She lifted an eyebrow. "A Grimm?" A Beowolf had seemingly shown up- in the middle of Vale, which she considered suspicious- and was following them.

"How peculiar-" She stopped herself, reading the next line carefully.

'And suddenly, Weiss Schnee found herself upon the floor, her throat ripped out by the canine Grimm and it scampered away. As if expecting her teammates to help, the cruel heiress reached out to them, choking upon her own blood.

And they laughed at her.'

"...what?" She read through the next passage carefully. What she found was...to be frank, not to her liking.

She watched herself dying, slowly, painfully as her beloved teammates, people she considered friends, laughed at her, jeered her, told her to hurry up and die in pain- at one point, Ruby, of all people, drew Crescent Rose to finish her off, to kill her, but Yang held her back, saying that she deserved a long, slow death.

And all she could think of was 'why?'. It did not end there; she was saved, by a man she immediately picked out to be a typical Marty Stu; his appearance was too good to be true, his name was too average for their world, and his weapon clearly stolen from Final Fantasy. Yet Weiss couldn't help but read it- if such a fic was going to save her from her clearly horrible friends, it couldn't be that bad, right?

"Right?" She slightly whimpered. Her eyes were drawn to read further, despite the clear emotional turmoil she was undergoing- Blake, Yang and Ruby were her friends- no, closer than friends, they were what Yang always called _nakama_- the truest of companions, those who would never, ever abandon each other.

And this fic...it broke that in half, and, as Weiss further read it, began to tear apart the bond they had built.

* * *

Melanie and Milly hastened their pace to get to RWBY dorm- it was on the other side of the school from MEME dorm; they shared it with another pair of sisters, Elizabeth and Elise Ermine- and the fact that they were on a completely different floor did NOT help.

"Dammit!" Melanie shouted. "Why is their dorm so far away?!"  
"I dunno! I blame Ozpin! The ONE time we want to be close to 'em, we're this far away!"  
"Dust help us..." The white-clothed girl sighed. "I just hope that Weiss doesn't read that crap."  
"Who wrote it anyway?" Milly asked.  
"I think I recognized the writing style..." Melanie thought back to it. "But I can't quite remember who it seemed like..."

* * *

Meanwhile, over in RWBY dorm...

"Wh-what..." Weiss looked at her tablet, shocked.

The fic took a turn for the worse. Soon, even the clear Marty Stu had begun to abuse her; treating her like a slave in sex and life alike- and to make it worse, none of her 'friends' would help her. It wasn't just RWBY, either, but Ren, Nora, Jaune- even Pyrrha had abandoned her.

Weiss watched in horror as her fictional self was shattered to almost nothing, and with each revelation shattering her further, it wasn't until she saw the final chapter that she well and truly felt horror...and a bit of emotional pain.

The man who'd taken her in, to care for her- and later abuse her- revealed, in a long, slow, twisted monologue, that they'd done it all to make her pay for her abrasive behaviour, and that now- at that point, her fictional self was broken to the point of suicide- they would simply watch her die.

"...who'd write something like this?!" She muttered in shock. As the story closed, with the inevitable result of her killing herself, the author notes told of their purpose for writing it; they hated Weiss- despised her with all their heart. The notes seemed to be a justification for making her suffer- indeed, she could tell that this guy felt glee while doing it, at points.

"..." She shut her tablet, as she felt tears well up in her eyes. "...no, Schnee, you won't cry, you won't cry, it's just a story..." Mastering her emotions, slowly, but surely, she stood up.

"I'll be taking a walk..." The heiress said to Ruby, who was reading a book on her bunk. Ruby nodded.

"I'll see you later, then. Hey, Weiss, you sound sad..." The crimsonette noted. "Are you-"

"I'm fine." With that brusque interruption, Weiss walked outside to gather her thoughts.

* * *

The Malachite sisters ran into Weiss, and they ran to her.

"Weiss!" Melanie shouted. "Whatever you do, do NOT read this fanfic!" She held up her tablet, showing her 'Break'. "It's...a pretty clear-cut revenge fic, and it's kinda...-"  
"I know. I read it." She muttered.

Milly tilted her head. "Weiss, if you're-"  
"I'm fine. It's just a story." Weiss nodded, mustering a smile. "Besides, it's not like they really meant it, right?"  
"Uh...well..." Melanie and Milly nodded. "If you insist...we'll just walk back now, then." The pair walked off, nodding to each other.

"...I feel like she's going to break down..."  
"If she does, her team's got her back. What we need to know is WHO wrote that. I KNOW I've seen that particular style before." Melanie stated.

"Who, Mels?"  
"I think I share a Literature class with 'em..." She flicked through her mental map of who she shared it with; Cardin, Dove, Sky, Velvet, Elizabeth and a couple of other students she didn't know, apart from her sister.

She knew it was one of the former, but who?

Meanwhile, behind them, Weiss sat down, thinking.

"...w-what did I do to this guy to deserve having THAT written about me?" She muttered. "I didn't do anything personally, surely. I mean...I used to be...horrible, and mean and abrasive, especially to Ruby...

But...but they don't hate me, right? I'm not that person anymore, right?"

Weiss wasn't sure.

* * *

Later that night...

Long after everyone had gone to bed, long after everyone had fallen asleep, Weiss sat up in her bed, sweating and crying. The fanfiction had gotten to her badly- she could not stop thinking that, for whatever reason, Ruby and the rest were going to leave her behind.

She'd had a bad nightmare indeed, just now.

Weiss had dreamt that she was in that situation- that she was walking with her team, in Vale, at sunset. She wasn't aware that anything whatsoever was wrong, that anything was going to happen.

And suddenly, it did; the Beowolf, just like in the story, ripped her throat open and left her to die. Weiss instantly knew that this was the part where the Marty Stu came in to save her, and waited, weathered the jeers and the insults.

But...it was not to be.

Soon, to her horror, the faces of her friends twisted themselves into horrifying caricatures of themselves, with mouths too big, too toothy to be human, as they mockingly put her down, screamed at her, and threw insults at her...

Especially Ruby. Ruby was harshest in her insults, throwing back her once affectionate epithet of dunce as a wicked insult, snarling at her, telling Weiss she hated her, and hoped that she would die a horrible, long death- it was too much, for Weiss, to see her affectionate, friendly, caring leader do this to her, even in a dream.

It was too much, even to think about.

"RUBY!" She screamed, and her partner awoke. "W-Weiss?!" The crimsonette poked her head down, to see a crying, clearly hurt Weiss. "...oh my Dust! What's wrong?!"

"J-just..." She shook her head and ran outside, sobbing. Ruby's eyes widened.

"Oh my Dust...Yang! Blake! Wake up!"

* * *

They found her, sobbing on a bench near the girl's toilet. Melanie, Milly and Cardin- the latter had joined them after hearing the shouting from CRDL dorm and seeing the pair walking around, also going towards the noise. They'd explained the situation to him, and Cardin, not necessarily being the closest of friends with her, nonetheless agreed to help.

"Weiss?" Milly approached her.

"Y-yes?" The heiress looked up, her normally clear blue eyes welling with tears. Milly shuddered to think that someone's horrible, nasty story had reduced someone to this.

"I-is everything..."

"I-it's just that..." Weiss continued sobbing between words. "...t-that...I-I had a dream...t-that my team...that Ruby...w-would..."

"We know." Melanie nodded. "That's never going to happen."  
"B-but what if...what if it is..."

"Oh, shut the fuck up." Cardin growled. Milly and Melanie shot him a glare, but he ignored it. He moved towards Weiss. "Ya know, you used ta not give a crap about how some random jerk treated ya."

"Y-yes...but-"  
"Lemme finish, Weiss. Yer all nice and that, but is this really who ya are? Crying at some random asshole making some fanfic of ya where he takes ya ta bits?" He chuckled. "Come on. Ya really think Ruby and all that'll leave ya, that they'll just do that?"

"...no..."

"Then what's the worry?" He nodded towards her. "I'm probably the biggest asshole in Beacon, and even I wouldn't backstab my own team...or my own friends. Still...if ya have any problems...ya come to us if ya can't come to yer team, yes?"

"Or us." Melanie and Milly nodded in agreement.

"T-that's...that's nice of you...I-I just thought...I felt that...I felt abandoned..."

"Weiss?!" Weiss perked up as she saw Ruby, who ran into her, glomping her tightly.

"R-Ruby...I-"  
"Save it, I don't need to hear it. I just want to hug you, 'kay?" The crimsonette tightened her hug on her partner. "I want you to feel better. I just want you to know, that we're here for you, that we'll be at your side if you ever feel sad, 'kay?"

"I...I suppose..."

"As will we." Blake and Yang chimed in, nodding. Even Jaune and Ren had shown up, and Pyrrha and Nora. They were walking across, offering their own words of support.

Weiss felt heartened at everyone showing up to comfort her; even the Malachites, who she wasn't that closely related to, and Cardin, the reformed bully...she felt herself grow lighter, as if a burden had lifted from her heart. Knowing that her closest friends; JNPR, RWBY, and especially Ruby- would never abandon her...it made her happy.

"I just...I..." She shook her head, crying again, but this time, these were tears of joy. Ruby patted her on the back.

"It's okay, Weiss. Let it all out." She mentally squeed for a second; she WAS hugging the one she had the hugest crush on, but now wasn't the time.

Suddenly, a light went on in Melanie's head. "I figured it out." Milly looked at her.

"What?"  
"It was Dove." Cardin blinked. "What?"  
"Dove, in your team, Cardin." Melanie nodded. "Yes...I knew I recognised the dark themes. He hates Weiss, doesn't he? Thinks she's stuck up?"

Yang cracked her knuckles. "Oh, that sonofa-" She was pushed aside by Cardin, who was walking back to his dorm. "Hey!"

"Save it, Xiao Long." He shouted back. "For doing that...ta poor Weiss?" He smirked. "He deserves more than just a beatin'.

I'm going ta renovate his ass!"

"H-hey, take me along!" Yang moved up next to him. "She's one of us, you know!"  
"Let's break his knees together!" Nora moved up, activating Magnhild.

Cardin looked back to the Malachites and everyone else. "Ya won't be telling Port or anyone else, right?"

"Trust us, we weren't even here." They walked away, as Ruby and Weiss walked in the opposite direction, back to their dorm. Jaune and Ren walked with them as well, as did Pyrrha, offering their own words of support.

* * *

Dove leaned back in his chair, smirking in sick satisfaction. He had seen all the reviews of his fic 'Break'. He really hated Weiss; whether it was because of her attitude, her family or because he just did, Dove found it good to hate her.

"Ah...yes. That fucking Schnee bitch." He smirked. "If I can't give her comeuppance in real life...well...guess she'll never know it was-"  
"Dove?"  
"Yes, Card-oh." He looked towards the door, to see a very pissed off Cardin, a smirking Yang, and a gleefully smiling Nora. "Uh..."

"Dove, we need ta talk. Ya see, it's about the thing you wrote about Weiss..."  
"I-I swear, it was completely harmless!"

"Yeah, well..." Cardin shook his head. "Ya made her cry. Ya kinda need an asskicking for that."

"Shit, Cardin! I-I'm-"  
"KNEE-BREAKING TIME!"

"This is for Weiss, you sick bastard!"  
"AAAHHHH-"

Needless to say, when Dove appeared at the infirmary that morning, the reports that he was beaten up by a flaming titan, a large heart-shaped hammer and Cardin- who'd been found in JNPR dorm, playing a card game with Jaune- were disproven.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: I kinda needed to take my own anger out at revenge fics...really sorry about that. :c On the plus side, I'm fine now and I PROBABLY won't be doing that again. Also, I needed to get my feels out- and I kinda regret putting Weiss through that... :c Oh, and I'll be calling Miltiades Milly now because it's easier to spell, more moe and it's Weiss Reacts. :P**

**But, in future, to prevent such events, we must take drastic measures! For just one lien a month, you can adopt your own Weiss. She comes with a tracker every month, and your very own Weiss plushie. Please, kids, think of the Weisses, every time you write a revenge fic against her, you hurt a Weiss. Please, adopt a Weiss today.**

***ahem* On another note, next chapter will be Weiss Reacts to The Shadow of Fire! Le gasp! A shout out to you again, Dagger of Faith, for letting me write about it; I hope you enjoy next chapter!**

**So read, leave your reviews, suggestions, criticisms and thoughts, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	22. Special Chapter 7: The Shadow of Fire!

**Special Chapter: The Shadow of Fire**

**A/N: Hello, ladies, gents, various genderless people! It's the chapter you may or may NOT have been waiting for; Weiss Reacts to The Shadow of Fire! Go read that instead by the way, it's far superior to this crap. Oh, and since this is far more driven and plot-twisty than ANYTHING I've covered before, warning for spoilers, so don't read unless you've read the entirety of The Shadow of Fire and/or don't care because you love me and my story :P**

**DISCLAIMER: The Shadow of Fire belongs to Dagger of Faith. I don't have to say 'go read that instead' again, right? **

**RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Cardin would be a Kanji expy (that's all that needs to be said about him, really).**

* * *

"Blake..." Weiss called from her desk chair, idly browsing through the Dustnet. The catgirl poked her head down from her bed, a mecha manga in hand.

"Yes?"  
"What would you do if some random guy just...came up, trying to hunt me down and kill me?"

Blake chuckled. "Well, by that definition, technically I'm a random guy, who used to want to hunt you down. Not necessarily kill you, but you know, being in the White Fang and all..."

"Uhuh. Still. What WOULD you do?"  
"Well...that guy would have to go, wouldn't he?" Blake continued. "Try as he might, we'd just feed him to Velvet."

"Yeah...true, that." Weiss nodded. "I suppose anyone attempting to get close to me would probably get killed by Velvet..."

* * *

"WEISS WEISS WEISS WEISS WEISS WEISS WEISS" Velvet was on a sugar high- this was the second milkshake she'd drunken in an hour.

"SO MUCH ENERGY OH MY DUST THE PLANNING AND PLOTTING" She bounced around her dorm, which was, as usual, solitary; by virtue of being so obsessed with 'Weiss-sempai' that she'd managed to chase her old team out AND persuade Ozpin not to reinsert her into another one.

The headmaster's own words were, quoted, "I am not touching that crazy bitch. Ever.".

Eventually, Velvet pulled to a stop in front of a whiteboard; one of many around the room, hung from strings from the ceiling; having them on the wall might cover up all the beautiful pictures of her beloved she had –and that one Risette concert poster. The whiteboard was labelled 'Scenarios where Weiss-sempai would be taken away from me' and one was 'Typical evil guy wants revenge on Schnee family'. Various circles were drawn around it, as well as question marks.

"Hm...I wonder..." Velvet rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "If someone tried to kill MY Weissy-chan, hm...

I guess they'd have to die first~ It's simple, really. Nobody touches Weiss-sempai.

NOBODY."

* * *

"Hey, Blake, come over here a minute."  
Blake hopped off her bunk and strolled over to Weiss. "Hm?"  
"This looks interesting. The Shadow of Fire?"

"That fic?" She nodded, recognizing it. She hadn't read it before, but Jaune and Nora had, and they'd told her some things about it. "Uh...you might not want to..."

"...a dark secret dating to before the Schnee Dust Company?" Weiss frowned. "Preposterous. W-we're a completely legitimate business outfit! With a legitimate business club!"

Blake muttered under her breath. "Yes. Just like the Kirjos are. And the Corleones." She had a point; the Schnee businesses were known for, among other vile and villainous acts, smuggling cakes and sweets, running horrible, vaguely Freudian experiments on people and taking away candy from babies.

Weiss looked at her oddly. "I know who the Kirjos are, but Corleones?"

"You need to watch more movies. And oh my Dust could you get me Mit-"

"No."

"But-"

"No. Simply because you implied we had criminal links. L-like we'd be associated with petty...crime..." The heiress harrumphed. She opened the fanfic, while Blake frowned.

"I wanted Mitsuru-sempai's autograph..." She sighed. "One day..."

"...so Ruby gets SHOT in the FIRST CHAPTER?!"

"My...that escalated quickly." Blake remarked.

"...I suppose this is why you said NOT to read it?"  
"Pretty much."

Weiss folded her arms, glaring at her. "A-and w-what if I CAN handle...this?"

"Go ahead." Blake chuckled. "I doubt you could go through ONE chapter of this without complaining about the fic. If you do, I'll give you all my yaoi manga. For free."

"And if I lose?"  
"I get to send your drawing of Ruby in a maid suit to everyone."

Weiss gasped, shocked. She turned a luminescent red. "Y-you wouldn't! T-that's not mine!"

"It has your signature on it. 'W. Schnee', seriously?"

"...fine." The heiress grumbled. "It's a deal, Belladonna. Challenge accepted."

"Just to be fair, I'll let you complain about this chapter."

"JUST WHY WOULD YOU SHOOT AN INNOCENT CHILD? AND WHY THE DUST WOULD THEY WANT TO KILL ME? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO THEM? WHAT THE ACTUAL BOOP? AND DID RUBY JUST DIE THERE? REALLY?"

"She's a main character. She didn't die."

"...how can you tell?"  
"Anime, sweetie." Blake smirked, having said the last word in a mocking tone.

"..."

* * *

"WHY WOULD OZPIN-"  
"Weiss? You remember our bet?"  
"OH SCREW YOUR BET." The heiress glared at her. "I-it's stupid anyway! G-go ahead! I can deny it's mine!"

"Fine." Blake smiled enigmatically.

"...why would Ozpin just...do that?" She frowned. "I mean...my story self has a point; he'd probably move heaven and earth to see Goodwitch."  
"He has a point." Blake shrugged. "Besides, we don't really have time to visit anything except on the weekends during school time."

"Point." Weiss sighed. She hated it when Blake was right- and she was right often. She continued speaking. "And I don't WANT to get back at Cardin like that! I already executed him!"  
"Oh, yes, I remember that. He refused to go within a hundred feet of you that week."  
"...In my defence, I didn't know Yang blew up the dorm!"  
"You still executed him." Blake squeed at this, secretly; this was an infamous habit of her idol Mitsuru, after all. The Flawless Executioner took no shit from anyone.

Now that she thought about it, Weiss WAS somewhat similar to her idol; both were ice-wielding ice queens with an affinity for fencing, vaguely rich, powerful and criminal families, no idea how to act in social situations and they both had the stealth capability of a pink rapping capybara; the catgirl remembered one time when Weiss tried her hand at sneaking an ice cube down Yang's back, only to make more noise than Ruby did when she was munching cookies.

Needless to say, it was an interesting day-

"Blake? Hello? You spaced out."  
"What? Oh." Blake sighed. "And we both know what we'd REALLY do to Ozpin and Goodwitch if we needed to get rid of them."  
"Lock them in a room with Nora and tell her that they touched her pancakes."

"...they wouldn't last the hour."

"...I'm going to end up with Ruby in this, aren't I?"  
"Isn't that what you want?" Blake smirked.  
"...damn it, I shouldn't have told you that, should I?"

"Be grateful THAT's not the price of the bet, Weiss." The sable-haired girl nodded.

"...what WOULD I do if I lost Ruby..." The heiress muttered wistfully.  
"Knowing you, you'd break into the underworld and carry her out, bridal-style, before proceeding to take her on the-"

"Shut up!" Weiss blushed furiously. As if Blake couldn't be more insightful, now she practically read her mind- not that she was an immense pervert, no, no decent person, especially Weiss, could be that perverted.

"...noted. Miss Schnee is even more of a pervert than we thought."

"L-let's just continue reading, i-idiot!"  
"Right." Blake pointed to a certain part of the chapter. "Original character. Usually a bad sign."

"Usually?"  
"I dunno, people tend to come up with crappy OCs in this section. Seem to think we'd fall in love with their vaguely disguised real selves quickly." Blake shrugged. "Still, this one seems less Sue-ish. And hilarious."

"I think we can tolerate him. I've had enough of rubbish OCs as it is, but this one isn't bad." Weiss muttered, before her eyes widened.

"AND MY PASSWORD IS NOT RUBY_SCHNEE!"

"You're right. It's Rubychanisallmine." Blake stated with obvious glee as the heiress inevitably responded with a flustered "S-shut up!".

It was fun to tease Weiss.

* * *

"Ruby turned into a FAUNUS?! WHAT IS THIS?!"

"...okay, that caught ME by surprise." Blake raised an eyebrow. "

"Well...she IS kinda wolfish..."  
"Puppy dog eyes, chases her master around, overly affectionate to her master- yeah, I'd say she was more like a dog."

"...s-shut up."

"Only saying." The catgirl shrugged.

"...that's probably more insane than anything we've ever seen." Weiss sighed.

"We live in the same dorm as Yang Xiao Long. I don't think ANYTHING can be more insane than that." Blake remarked.  
"True point." They continued onto the next chapter, before...

"Whoa, that escalated quickly." The pair said in unison.

"Wait...Orion's a god? I didn't notice that!" Weiss protested. Blake responded. "Hm...yep, he's either going to die or leave the story."

"Huh?"  
"Well, when you have a character that badass and powerful in a story, that early, who's practically one of the main cast..." Blake noted. "They usually end up dead; like a sacrificial lion, so to speak. Like poor Kamina-sama...and Shinjiro-sama...I might be wrong, though. I dunno."

"What is with you people and honorifics?!"

"I dunno. It's like some anime-obsessed weirdo put them in our mouths or something." The catgirl shrugged.

"To be kinda honest, Ruby seems kinda out of character for...Ruby..."

"Yeah." Weiss nodded. "I always thought she'd be the kind of person to forgive her enemies easily, even after they do that to her."

"I wonder why." Blake responded, while thinking about her leader's personality. It was true; nothing anyone did really hurt Ruby. Neither Weiss' harshest remarks, nor Cardin back when he was an immense jerk could stop Ruby; and she always forgave them with a smile. That, probably, was why everyone in Beacon they knew befriended her; such a friendly soul couldn't be resisted.

Either that or she was as cute as hell and everyone wanted to hug her. Either way.

* * *

"FIGHT SCENE!" Blake shouted.

"...that cloak's pretty useful." Weiss noted. "We need to get Ruby one of them."

"Agreed." Blake nodded. "That would be kinda useful."

"The descriptions of the fight scenes are amazing, though, for amateur fiction." The heiress nodded. "It's like we're actually there!"  
"Well, you kind of are, really, if you think about it."  
"Of course, in a REAL fight scene, we'd obviously have the upper hand." Weiss remarked. "We have had more training than our counterparts within the story, after all, far more. We've fought far worse things than other humans."  
"I still remember the dragon Grimm." Blake shuddered.

"And of course, Cinder without her burrito."

"Oh, yes, that...that was horrifying."  
"For Dust's sake, we were just...walking...and there was so much...blood! A-and...she was just standing in the middle of it all...s-screaming for a burrito..." Weiss was still horrified by the memory of that day.

That day, Vytal learned never to deprive Cinder Falls of burritos.

* * *

"Roman?" Cinder waved over her henpecked assistant. He sluggishly ran over; he hadn't had a wink in several days.

Dealing with a Cinder watching Ranma non-stop, was tiring. Even worse was the fact that she was a horrible roommate; burrito wrappers everywhere, scorch marks on the wall; it was a surprise Cinder looked like she did, let alone was even alive, considering her diet seemed to be burritos, energy drinks and apparently, his misery, Roman thought to himself.

"...yes?"  
"Get me some burritos, please."  
"...what?! You ran out already?!"  
"Yes. Now go."  
"...no-"  
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TORCHWICK?!"

"...sorry..."

"...you know what I'm like without my burritos."  
Roman froze. "T-the blood...b-blood everywhere..."  
"Yes. Now go get them before I have a repeat event~"  
Roman was gone before she could finish her sentence.

She smirked. "Wise choice."

* * *

"...that's weird for Ruby...she'd probably be the type to SPARE her enemies..."

"Agreed. And Faunus don't act like that!" Blake pouted. "Besides, we don't mutilate our enemies! No, if they piss us off, we hurl them off cliffs, pure and simple. Or renovate their asses."

"Hey, I just realised..."  
"Yes?"  
Weiss smirked. This was the first time she could get a jibe back at Blake for something.

"If cats go into heat...and you're a cat Faunus...does this mean you go into heat?"  
"No, s-"  
"Oh really?" Weiss smiled. "Then why, last night, were you moaning, in your sleep, and I quote, "Oh, Yang, take me, please, take me there, oh"?"

The heiress smirked as Blake's face slowly turned red. "...y-you heard that?"  
"I heard a lot of things. That was the most decent thing I could remember."

"...I-I swear...i-it wasn't me in h-heat..."  
"Oh, but you've been awfully frustrated around Yang lately~"  
"...oh, you devious, devious little girl." The catgirl sighed. "...what will it take you not to tell Yang that?"  
"You don't show my Ruby maid drawing, I won't tell the world that you have a Yang fetish."

"...deal."

"Glad that we arranged that." Weiss smiled brightly. "Now, let us recommence the story!" As they moved on through the chapters, they exchanged various comments with each other.

* * *

"Weiss and Ruby, sitting in a tree, K-I-"  
"If you finish that song, Belladonna..."

Blake gave her a legitimate cat smile. "Sowwy~"  
"I swear, you and Yang are crazy..." Weiss shook her head.

"Not my fault you really ARE gay for Ruby. And, of course, hot for Jaune."

"...not my fault they're both adorable dunces..."  
"Birds of a feather flock together."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Weiss glared at the catgirl, who feigned innocence.

"Nothing~"

* * *

"Ruby would totally kick Cardin's ass if he tried that in real life." Blake nodded.

"I agree with the sentiment." The heiress noted.

"I mean, true he's a better fighter now, but Ruby...well...is Ruby."  
"I know what you mean."

"Also, they're going to try the wasp trick again? Seriously?"  
"Pretty ironic that Ruby's not at all allergic to wasp venom."

"I remember that time when we all ended up having to go home from a field trip because everyone got stung...I remember that Ruby was the only one there with absolutely NO hives."

"She had to persuade Ozpin it was really us and not some group of mutated weirdoes trying to break into Beacon, I recall."  
"And of course, I'm the typical ninja. Although, I wouldn't take their stingers, no." Blake corrected it. "I'd smear more sap on Dove's back. I COULD take the stingers, but I have a feeling they'd end up somewhere awkward..."

Both girls shuddered.

* * *

"You and Ruby are so adorable together~"  
"I think I get the point."  
"I know. I'm just say-"  
"Just like you and Yang are. Or perhaps you're looking for a more...risqué relationship?"  
"Touché, Schnee. Touché."

* * *

"So our entire academy is protected by a combination of Goodwitch, Cortana and EDI?"  
"Apparently."  
"...I'm not surprised. Ozpin always seemed like he'd be into that stuff."  
"Agreed."  
"Although what surprises me is that Luna isn't naked...I swear, from the tension around the pair, you'd think they were looking for the best time to-

"Okay, Blake, I get it, they're itching to jump each other, I get it."

"I was going to say kiss, but that's a lot better!"

"I hate you so much."

* * *

"Okay, now that is interesting. So the academy has a large cannon under the courtyard?

"Apparently."  
"Huh."

"There IS something under there..."  
"Huh?"  
"Oh, don't get your hopes up. It's just your typical evil lair; spikes, iron maidens, typical stuff."  
"...I wonder who that'd belong to?"

* * *

Pyrrha sneezed.

* * *

Blake nodded. "This is where, to quote Yang, "Shit hits the fan"."

"Agreed."

"Dust knows it'd just be you two."  
"Why? Don't you trust us?" Weiss protested.

"No. We wouldn't let you go in there alone- we'd come with you. And Jaune would probably drag his team with us."

"How sweet of you, Blake..."  
"Yeah, well, that and if you die, I call your stuff."

"...again, you, Yang, crazy people, yes?"  
"I'd like to think of myself more as a pragmatist." Blake smirked.

* * *

Weiss tilted her head. "So...we died? Is that it?"  
"...nope."  
"But...we got blown up."  
"You're also main characters. You have plot armor. You probably didn't die." Blake sighed. "Unless they decided to subvert it and you really ARE dead." She muttered under her breath. "Dammit, I was wrong about Orion being a sacrificial lion..."

"True point." The heiress sighed. "How much anime do you watch?!"  
"Enough."

"..." Weiss turned back to the screen. "That was...actually pretty good."

"Agreed."

"Should we leave reviews?"  
"Agreed. I'll get on my account and you leave one."  
"That was a good way of wasting...wait...we've only been here fifteen minutes?!" Weiss looked at the system clock, shocked.

"Felt like three hours."

"...hehe..."

Weiss shook her head. "I do wonder, though."

"What?"  
"If someone WAS to go after me, right now, what would happen?"  
Blake sighed. "My answer is the same as it was earlier; Velvet."

"True, that. But...I'm pretty sure my dad didn't associate with someone like Saturn."  
"Who knows?" Blake stated.

"...now I'm paranoid..."

* * *

-From: **TheRealIceHeiress**

Well done. The story is of high calibre. I hope to see more from you...but one thing.

If ever that happened to me in reality, I would not pursue him. I would send Velvet Scarlatina after them. Dust knows what would happen.

Otherwise, I congratulate you. I hope to see more.

-Weiss Schnee

-From: **NightshadeNinjacat**

Excellent story, good descriptions, excellent characterisation...is there anything I really need to say?

-Blake B.

* * *

Meanwhile...

A man marched onto the courtyard, sniper rifle in hand, grey suit flawless, red tie straight. He had but one purpose here today.

Eliminate Weiss Schnee.

He was contracted to wipe her out, and it was a contract he would see through to the end.

"Today, Schnee. Today you-"  
"Oh hi!" He turned around to see...a brown-haired, mousy-looking bunny Faunus girl.

"...girl, run along now. You saw nothing."

"Oh? Is that a sniper rifle? And did you just say...Schnee?" Her voice was...eerily calm, and yet...it had a sinister quality to it, one that this man couldn't quite place.

"...yes, I did. Now, I think I'm going to have to-"

"Are you going to kill her?"  
"...I can't let you get away now." His Aura flaring up, he prepared to wipe this girl from existence-

And suddenly he was on the floor, and Velvet stood over him, a large, serrated, _bloody _axe in her hand.

"I'm really sorry, good sir. But I can't let you hurt Weiss-sempai. Nobody can hurt her. Nobody."

"Shit, girl, you really are insane! Screw the contract and fuck this, I'm out!" He shoved her roughly off of him, but it was no use. Velvet was set.

"I can't let you leave now, no. You tried to kill my Weissy-chan. SHE'S MINE AND NOBODY CAN HAVE HER"  
"Then you can have her, dammit! Fuck this!" The man ran off, and as he looked behind him, he saw the rabbit Faunus, a serene smile on her face as if she was merely wiping out a pest, hefting her large axe and giving chase.

"Come back! I need to make sure you don't hurt Weiss-sempai!"

Needless to say, he learnt why nobody had ever succeeded in assassinating Weiss Schnee.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: I'm actually kinda scared that despite never including them in the dictionary, Mitsuru, glomping and Schnee now show up as normal words. Oh well.**

**That was...long to write! Woo! Now that that's over with, a shout out to you, Dagger of Faith, for writing this incredible story. I don't personally think I did it justice, but hey, I tried. **

**Next up, Weiss Reacts to Abridged Series! Also, a special message; the amazing Orion Matrix recently requested his story 'Bedside Manner' be put up here. So, without further ado, we will be featuring it here VERY soon. Stay tuned for updates~**

**So, I hope you all enjoyed that. Leave your reviews, comments, criticisms and suggestions, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	23. Special Chapter 8: TvTropes!

**Special Chapter: Weiss Reacts to TvTropes!**

**A/N: Right, this'll be a lengthy one. Firstly, I know I promised an Abridged Series chapter, but TvTropes was just too good of a chapter to put off for much longer~ So don't worry, lads and lasses, you'll be getting it tomorrow. **

**I also apologise deeply for confusing people with Cardin's accent last chapter. That was meant to be based off of the speech patterns of a certain delinquent chair-toting Persona-using badass mama's boy; really sorry. In future, I'll refrain from using it.**

**Now that I've got everything out of the way, I'll quit bothering you now and let you start reading!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Cardin really WOULD be Kanji.**

**TvTropes belongs to the loving contributors who've dedicated their time to building up that wonderfully devious site- and the staff who spend theirs running it.**

**Get Your Ships Out Of My Face belongs to TheRealIceHeiress, aka Weiss-sempai. Hey Weiss!**

**The idea of Yuno's appearance was SanguisAnima's idea. Go read his stories instead; far superior, etc, etc, mine is bad. As usual.**

* * *

Weiss was sitting in her desk chair, sighing. "I spend FAR too long on fanfiction, don't I?" She drummed her fingers on the wooden desk, thinking of what else to do today. She'd just uploaded a poem describing EXACTLY how she felt about this White Rose and other such nonsense; despite the actual truth of the matter. Surprisingly, there seemed to be a debate about shipping going on in the shipping section; somewhat unusual, but not unexpected. She'd even gotten the ElfCollaborator chap, responsible for recording her exploits to compliment her; not that she cared about such a peasant.

She had to admit, though "Get Your Ships Out Of My Face" was a fairly aggressive title for her. In her defence, she was irritated when she wrote it.

She sighed and considered what her options were for today.

Today was a particularly rainy and uninteresting day; Yang had been hovering around the television, hoping to see someone appear or something while babbling about the Midnight Channel, until Ruby had scuppered that plan by turning it on to watch a Pentakill performance. Blake was gone as usual, muttering something about going off to steal some stuff from somewhere or other, the Malachites were down with cold, Cardin was ALSO down with cold from trying to take care of the Malachites, team JNPR was on a gaming marathon- which, from the sounds of it, Pyrrha was winning, and Dust knows she'd hang out with Velvet, the crazy girl.

"What to do, what to do...hm..." The heiress decided to poke around the site for various suggestions.

"DeviantArt, no...Tumblr? Yang said no to that...hm..." Something caught Weiss' eye. Somewhere, on some writer's profile- she didn't notice the name- she saw a link to a TvTropes article.

"TvTropes? What IS that? Sounds like somewhere Yang would frequent..." Weiss pondered. "Hm. She always said she and Ruby were hooked to this...I wonder why. I mean...from the way she described it, it can't be THAT gripping, right? It's just a wiki."

Little did she know about the arcane effect of the sight upon its viewers.

* * *

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Beacon...

Velvet sat in a circle of red Dust, with candles surrounding her and her curtains shut. She was murmuring a chant from an ancient text that she'd found floating around in the bins outside Glynda's room.

Specifically, the Yandere Prayer- the scroll detailed how to summon the God of Yanderes for advice; advice on how to nab the one they loved and to keep them for themselves forevermore. For some reason Velvet could not fathom, the scroll seemed to have a symbol of the letter 't' with a lampshade upon it, and with a strange inscription about 'TropeCo' or other, mentioning various 'Trope Pantheons'. Velvet knew of Tropespeak, but not how it was spoken, and so did not delve too deeply into it.

Velvet had studied the scroll for days, gleaning what she could from the mess of English and Tropespeak and collecting the materials needed to create a summoning circle to bring the God to her.

Anything she could do to get Weiss-sempai to be hers and hers alone. Ruby and Jaune didn't DESERVE her- after all, they hadn't put as much effort as she had into getting Weiss to love her.

"O, mighty clinger to arms, hear my plea," The bunny Faunus chanted. "O, mighty lover of lovers, teach me your ways of love, the art of the kitchen knife and axe, the love that is true, that I may love the one that is for me forever."

The circle glowed with crimson light. Velvet's eyes lit up. 'It's working!' She thought to herself.

"Please, mighty capturer of hearts, teach me how to capture the one I love, to keep them with me, to make them love me, o great and capricious one!

Come forth, almighty one! Come forth, Gasai Yuno!"

Suddenly, a bright light washed over Velvet and filled the room.

* * *

Her curiosity piqued, Weiss began to scan the TvTropes article of this fanfic. It was fairly, unassuming, really. Not much to say; just a short description of the fanfic in question, and these idioms and clichés, here referred to as 'tropes', contained within the story listed below.

"So this is what those two always seem to read?" It was true; when Yang or Ruby weren't playing their Persona games or reading fanfic, or, Dust forbid, cracking jokes and doing pranks, they were on this site. It seemed to attract them like moths to a flame.

"It can't be that bad, right? I'm not addicted...wait...single target sexuality?" Weiss tilted her head.

"That sounds familiar..." She clicked on it and read the article. "So...hm. That...actually aptly describes Nora. And Velvet.

What's this, a list of works containing the trope? This...is an unusual wiki." The heiress noted. "I like this. Hm. I have to be careful not to fall prey to it, though. I really do."

She began perusing the example lists, looking at various works that contained the trope and clicking on their pages.

* * *

When the light faded, Velvet opened her eyes and beheld the visage of the God of Yanderes within her room.

Or rather, the Goddess of Yanderes and her consort.

Before her was a young woman- Velvet noted that she didn't seem that much older than she was- with unkempt, pink hair and pink eyes, with a strange quality to them- madness, perhaps. She was clothed in nothing but a black bra and panties, with a bloody kitchen knife in her right hand, and in her left, a chain was leading to what seemed to be an unconscious boy, wrapped in said chains, sat down in a chair next to her. She seemed to have a satisfied smile on her face.

Raising her kitchen knife, studying Velvet carefully, she began to speak.

"Why, yes, this is Yuno Gasai, Goddess of All Yanderes, residing in the House of Love. What do you want?" Her voice also seemed to be fairly- unnaturally, even- cheerful, for such a dissonant and implicitly insane woman.

"Um...hi...this is Velvet..." The girl trembled slightly. Even though she looked human, and sounded human, something about her was just...off. Perhaps it was the smile, or the knife?

No, she had to go through with this. She'd summoned Yuno to teach her how to get Weiss to love her, and she'd be damned if she hid away now.

"Velvet, huh? Then please, answer this. Why have you disturbed my private time with Yuki-chan?" She inquired sweetly. "After all, Yuki-chan belongs to me and me alone and I want to treasure my time with him, no matter what~"

"I... I wanted to learn...h-how you did it."

"Did what?"  
"...c-capture and m-make the one you love love you..."

Yuno's smile suddenly took a more sinister shade to it. "So, you want to learn how to be a yandere? I'm flattered that you summoned me to be your...advisor. I'll tell you what; because I'm so flattered, just this once, I'll let you live; after all, I'm a new person now. Yuki-chan doesn't like it either when I get angry~" She seemed to say Yuki-chan in such a dreamy manner.

"We begin immediately. I'm sure you want the object of your affections as quick as possible, and as much as possible. Just...one thing."

"Yes?"  
"Don't touch my Yuki-chan. If you do, I'm going to have to kill you~"

Velvet gulped.

* * *

"Intriguing. So many works are linked by so many tropes..." Weiss noted in wonder. She'd seen the various links between series she once thought weren't linked at all; but now, seeing it from this perspective, it got her thinking. Just how many works were ON this damn site?

It boggled Weiss, to know that so many works existed on this planet, that were all linked by common tropes. She'd linked Phoenix Ranger Featherman, for example, to, of all things, Fire Emblem by use of the Five Man Band trope.

The concept simply interested Weiss. "I must know more about these.

N-not that I'm actually liking them, or anything. Heh. These are just...interesting, that's all. I'm not going to end up like Ruby or Yang. I'm not crazy. Or a dunce." Reassuring herself some more, the heiress continued perusing the site and its vast archive of information on typical narrative clichés and devices.

It wasn't addictive at all.

* * *

"Now, Velvet, the first thing you must learn," Yuno said as she waved around her kitchen knife. ", is that nothing is unacceptable when getting the one you love. Nothing."

"Even kidnapping?"  
"Much worse."

"Ah."  
"Also, you must always, ALWAYS pursue them. No matter what. When they say they don't like it, they're lying."  
"Huh?"  
"They're lying- they want you and you want them and you have to be together! That's how it worked with me and Yuki-chan here~" Yuno smiled.

"Ah." Velvet nodded, taking notes. This woman seemed to be utterly obsessed with Yuki, who seemed to be the boy locked up in chains next to her.

'Silly woman,' Velvet thought. She'd never chain up HER Weiss like that; no, she'd shove her into a maid outfit and tie her with rope, like a normal person. Chains were simply barbaric.

"Wait...one thing."  
"Yes?"  
"So, if someone, let's call them, Minato Aris-"  
"NEVER SAY THAT NAME IN FRONT OF ME." The goddess flew into a rage, shrieking, waving her knife about. The Faunus girl shrunk back, horrified. Just as quickly, the rage disappeared, to be replaced with her cheerful facade.

"Sorry about that...I have...issues with him...and many others like him...I don't know why." Yuno muttered thoughtfully. "Must be the voice." Velvet looked horrified, but soldiered on nonetheless.

"Uhuh...any other tips?"  
"Oh, I have a lot." Yuno pulled out a large book from somewhere; Velvet couldn't tell where as she was practically naked- and slammed it onto the nearest desk.

"The Big Book of Yandere Strategies, written by me~ This is where I've recorded my own strategies to nab my beloved~"  
"READ IT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!"  
"I will also record it on your...convenient whitebo-"  
"HURRY UP I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO GET WEISS-SEMPAI TO LOVE ME"

* * *

"Huh. So that's what they call that particular trope." Weiss noted as she read the Deadpan Snarker page. She'd always noticed such a tendency in Blake- sarcasm, obviously- but the character archetype was too common for it NOT to have a name.

Weiss found this more interesting than she thought it would be; seeing what this wiki called various character archetypes and why this was. She was starting to, Dust forbid, _approve_ of it; Weiss had initially assumed that such a website would be below her standards, judging by Ruby and Yang's constant hanging around it, but now, she saw why they liked it so much; it was as informative as it was funny.

"I never thought I'd say this, but perhaps those two have taste." She muttered. "No, wait, what am I saying? This is Yang Xiao Long I'm talking about; of course she has no taste.

Heh. Ruby probably taught her about this site; to expect her to have any? I doubt it. Although she can be...insightful when she wants to be." She sighed. "Hang on..." She realised something.

If there was fanfiction of RWBY, then there must surely be a big enough fandom to want to write such a thing. And if there was a fandom and enough people who cared...perhaps there was a trope page about it.

"I wonder what this wiki has to say about our world?" Interested, the heiress typed 'RWBY' into the search bar and pressed enter.

This was going to be an interesting experience.

* * *

"Have you learnt all you can?" Yuno smiled as she used her knife to motion to a whiteboard next to her. The whiteboard was filled with various plans, directives, and schemes and what-have-you, all dedicated to the end goal of nabbing the one Velvet loved.

"...this was an interesting experience, Gasai-sama."

"I'm sure it was! Even Yuki-chan's enjoying himself!" The goddess referred to her consort, who seemed to be unconscious still. He hadn't woken up in the entire time he was here. Velvet chuckled nervously.

"Y-yeah...I think he did..."

"Hey, listen." Yuno leaned into Velvet's face. "I have one last tip for you, in case all of your plans don't work."

"What?"  
"Do not be afraid to eliminate all other competition. Do not be afraid, my student." Yuno smiled cheerfully saying that, as if remembering fond events in her past. "All others do not matter in the way of pursuing your love."

"What does that mean?"

"Make sure they cannot earn your target's love. Dispose of them, if necessary." She said with a creepy, almost _erotic_ tone. "Like I did with that bastard, Akise..."

"Who?"  
"Never mind~" She smiled cheerfully. "I'll leave now~ I need to spend more time with Yuki-chan, after all~" With a flash of pink and a maniacal laugh, Yuno and Yuki disappeared, leaving Velvet alone in her dorm.

"...dispose of...my competition?"

* * *

Weiss' eyelid twitched. She had recently read her character page on this cursed, lying scummy slime of a wiki, and she did not approve of how it presented her.

"I AM NOT AN ALPHA BITCH! MY DAD WASN'T ABUSIVE! I'M NOT ARROGANT! AND I AM NOT HAUGHTY!" The heiress screeched at the computer screen in disbelief.

"AND I'M NOT A JERKASS ANYMORE! LIKE, SERIOUSLY! I GOT BETTER! WHO IN THE NAME OF DUST WROTE THIS STUPID ARTICLE?!"

Ozpin sat in front of the screen, satisfied, while drinking his coffee.

"Yet another successful edit."

"J-Just...w-what do those peasants know about me?" Weiss rationalised. "I-it's not like I CARE that I got called an alpha bitch...on a Dustnet site...s-stupid T-TvTropes..." She blushed violently, before scrolling down.

Surely this was the last insulting thing to her, right?

Suddenly-

"I AM NOT A RICH BITCH!"

* * *

Yang bit her lip, thinking. She was busy drawing something; it seemed to be similar to various promotional artworks of Persona 4, only with...something different; most specifically, in place of the Persona characters, her friends were in their place.

"Hm...Cardin would be Kanji, I'd be Chie, Ren would be Souji...who'd be Yosuke then? Probably Jaune..." The brawler thought very carefully about which of her friends was who. Then suddenly-

"I AM NOT A RICH BITCH!"

And that trail of thought was gone. Yang sighed, tossing her pencil to the side.

"Dammit, Weiss, what're you reading this time? It had better not be TvTropes..." She stood up and walked around to the other room, where Weiss was.

The heiress was standing up, trying to calm down. As Yang feared, a TvTropes page was open on her browser. She sighed.

"...lemme guess, you read our page on-"  
"Yes."

"And you saw-"  
"Yes."  
"Well," Yang chuckled. "They're a couple of years behind, anyway."

"I know. That's why it irritates me."

"I mean, you stopped being a bitch ages ago!"  
"I know, right?"  
"For some reason, they wouldn't let me edit that...I wonder why." She frowned. Indeed, for some reason, the tropes page for RWBY was locked on the events of two years ago; Yang and Ruby HAD tried to amend that, but for some reason, someone or somebody usually changed it back to the way it was.

Weiss sighed, shaking her head. "It's a stupid thing to get angry about, isn't it?"

"I think so, snow angel~" Weiss shot Yang a glare. The latter shrugged.

"What?"  
"...nothing." The heiress shook her head again. "Well...I'm kinda surprised, now that I'm calm again."  
"About?"  
"Someone, or a lot of people, took the time to meticulously link and record our lives..." Weiss noted. "...and yet they get nothing for it. Is that correct?"  
"Yes, it's a hobby, more or less." Yang nodded in agreement.

"Huh. Perhaps...being angry that they're a couple of years behind isn't...unfair, if you couldn't change it..." Weiss sighed. "After all...I was a ...bitch back then, wasn't I?"  
"Oh, like you wouldn't even BELIEVE-"  
"Y-you don't have to be so harsh about it!"

"I do." Yang smirked. "So...it's interesting, right?"  
"I suppose, Xiao Long. I suppose."

"Ah, good to hear! Tropes are fun to read, right?"  
"It's good to see what others describe typical clichés as, yes."  
"Blake's totally a deadpan snarker. And a kuudere."

"Yes, and you're a boisterous bruiser, who just so happens to be a cool big sis."

"I like the description~"

"Damn you."

* * *

Velvet considered the concept of...disposing of her enemies. Jaune and Ruby were in her way, right? Surely, it would be right to remove them, if it meant she had Weiss to herself, right?

Yang and Blake would have to go; after all, Yang would try to protect her little sister, and Blake would stick with Yang. Pyrrha had to go too, as did Ren and Nora; none of them would let Jaune go without a fight.

Then who else would she have to remove? Melanie and Milly, who'd never hurt her? Cardin, who'd changed for the better? Who else?

She mulled over the matter as she looked over at her weapon. Shiny, large, serrated, and ready for her to use-

"No." Velvet shook her head. "That's too far." She wouldn't- couldn't think of it. No, it was inconceivable; she would not cross that line. Jaune, after all, had protected her, back when Cardin bullied her. Cardin protected her when he changed from his teammates in turn.

Ruby, Blake, Yang; they were all her friends, even if they found her insane. Melanie and Milly had never done anything to hurt her; what reason had she to kill them?

But, of course, paramount to it was Weiss; she knew that killing them all would hurt her Weiss, hurt her irrevocably. And she refused to let that happen. Ever.

She wouldn't be responsible for hurting the one she loved.

"I love my Weiss-sempai, but...t-to kill...everyone...no...I refuse to go that far." She shook her head. "Weiss-sempai is mine, and mine alone! And I'll just have to find a way to make that happen, without killing Jaune or Ruby or anyone! They'll just have to live with it~"

Her resolve tempered, Velvet peered over at the big book of Yandere strategies Yuno left behind.

With a satisfied smile, she read it.

"This is the day, Velvet. The day we make change."

She then stared in shock at the big book's contents.

"It's all in Tropespeak...no...NO!"

* * *

"So, you say every work has a tropes page?"  
"Nearly every work." Yang nodded. "Some don't."  
"Oh." Weiss nodded. "I see."

"So, how're you liking TvTropes?"  
"I don't like it."  
"You do~ You've been browsing it for three hours!"  
"I have not! Don't be preposterous." Weiss folded her arms self-assuredly.

"Oh, you have. I saw you get on at, what, nine? It's nearly twelve now." Yang smirked.

"D-don't lie, it's been fifteen minutes!" Yang just smirked and pointed at the wall clock. Weiss stared at it in shock.

"T-this cannot be..."  
"Welcome to the herd, Weiss."  
"NOOOOOOOOO!"

Yang sat there, smirking. She knew this'd happen eventually.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: That was long. Also, is this enough to get me a works page? Pretty please? With a cherry on top? :3**

**On a serious note, to clear it up, TheRealIceHeiress and DaRougeFightingHood were not created by me; they were created by, well, Weiss and Ruby. Duh. Seriously, though, don't pester them with story suggestions for Weiss Reacts; send yours to me instead. A shout-out to 'Weiss', by the way, if you're reading this, for your impeccable criticism!**

**Well then. Next chapter; Weiss Reacts to Abridged Series! Woo! Yeah! Stuff!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that chapter, leave your reviews, criticism, thoughts and suggestions, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	24. Weiss Reacts to Abridged Series!

**Weiss Reacts to Abridged Series!**

**A/N: Hello, ladies and gents! Abridged series! Yay! Woo! Stuff! I'm also probably going to screw the chapter arrangement for a bit as ideas come to me much faster than I want to leave them unwritten, so...yeah!**

**Chapter announcement incoming: there will be the first ever Weiss Reacts Assorted Ideas chapter, after Script Fics! Woo! It'll just be a bunch of ideas I had about Weiss Reacts that never got to the chapter stage, so...yeah, hope you like them!**

**Second chapter announcement: Weiss Reacts to Madoka Magica! Yep. Why not.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Nora would be a sloth Faunus (like she always wanted).**

* * *

"...ok, seriously, Yang? This isn't funny."

Yang giggled at her teammate as Weiss sighed. "This really isn't funny."  
"Of course it isn't~"  
"I hate you." Weiss grumbled.

Yang, yet again, changed her wallpaper. This time, it was to a picture of a sleeping Weiss hugging Ruby tightly- the latter couldn't shut up about it all morning- and murmuring, for some mysterious person, totally not Yang or Blake, had placed the two in the same bed, knowing Weiss' habit of hugging things tightly in her sleep.

Of course, Weiss already knew who was responsible the moment she woke up to a blushing Ruby Rose.

"I hate you so much..."

"Oh, stop hiding it~" Yang giggled. "You're worse than Pyrrha~"  
"J-just because she's shy around Jaune does NOT mean she likes him, dammit!"

"Oh, are we getting jealous here? My my, Weiss, what's getting into you lately~?" Yang walked off, chuckling as Weiss blushed before turning to the screen.

"I swear...it's like she reads my mind or something..." She decided to check DustTube for any interesting videos uploaded today, before...

"RWBYBridged?" She tilted her head. "An...abridged series about RWBY, huh. Wonder what those are?" She'd heard of the concept before- mostly in publishing, where books were shortened to the most essential plot points.

The concept, as applied to an animated series? It looked interesting, especially to someone like Weiss.

"I'd better see what this is about...hopefully it isn't something stupid."

Interested but cautious, the heiress began to watch the video.

* * *

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Beacon...

"NORA!"

"Yeeeee~eeeess Ren?"

"I...you...what...stop...why are you wearing...that..."

Nora was in the catgirl outfit Ren recognised as the one he'd found Weiss forced into several weeks ago. He had to say, it accentuated her curves, showed off her skin in the right places and made her look...positively _sexy._

Too bad Ren wasn't in the mood for distractions; he needed to continue writing a fanfic idea of his- something about Code Geass or something-

Damn, Nora looked _hot_- NO, his mind wasn't doing this to him today. Not now, not right now. He had to try and get her out somehow.

"N-Nora...p-please..." Ren pleaded. He wouldn't-physically couldn't- concentrate with her in the room, not like this.

"What, Ren? I thought you liked catgirls?"  
"I do...but..."

"Oh, okay then!" Smiling cheerfully, the sprightly girl sat down on the bed, just to the side of Ren's sight –so tantalizingly _close_- , and proceeded to pull the most seductive moves that the sable-haired boy had ever seen.

Or perhaps it was just hormones. She was rolling around, bored, while making sloth sounds.

But in Ren's eyes- no, he had to stop, writing was more important, right now, right here.

"...Dust help me." He managed to wrench his eyes away from his girlfriend and began typing.

* * *

"Well, that was an...interesting title sequence." Weiss blinked as she watched the screen. She recognised the title sequence as the one from RWBY, but rather more quick, set to- fairly funny, but stupid- rap music and with the word 'Abridged' slapped on under the logo as a block of wood with the word on it.

"Uhuh...well then." The heiress drummed her fingers on the table, sitting through the narration, before...

"What the hell? That sounds like a man...and our history did NOT involve flying excrement! What?! And who the hell is Jen Taylor?! What is this?!" The heiress was supremely confused, and it just got worse as it segued into the familiar beginning sequence.

"AND WHY DOES ROMAN SOUND LIKE A GIRL? HE LOOKS LIKE ONE, BUT SERIOUSLY!"

* * *

"Hey!" Roman frowned.

"What?" Cinder shrugged. "You do look like a girl."  
"That's not the point, Cinder! J-just what the hell do you expect me to do, collect burritos for you fo-"Yes." To prove her point, the woman slapped her assistant with a burrito.

"...would you QUIT THAT?!"

"No~"

"BOOPING SCREW YOU TO BOOPING HELL!" Roman stomped off. Cinder sighed.

"He even whines like one...oh wait~" She giggled.

She loved toying with Roman.

* * *

"WHY DOES RUBY SOUND LIKE A COMPLETE AND UTTER RETARD?!" Weiss stared in disbelief at the screen. On screen, Ruby and Roman had managed to have an exchange about...what Weiss assumed to be drugs and kittens. And Ruby, of course, sounded even stupider than she usually did- very hard, considering she considered her to be an absolute dunce- and male.

"Does one person do all the voice acting in this?! And how the hell do you make this SHORTER than the normal series? The normal series is already less than ten minutes long!" The heiress was boggled at how someone could make an abridged series of something that short.

"And since when did...since WHEN DID GLYNDA SPEAK LIKE AN OLD MAN?!" Weiss pinched her nose, trying to calm down.

"So...our world was apparently created by a mad drug addict, Ruby is even stupider than she is in real life, and Roman's a flamboyantly gay man...and this is oddly hilarious.

Why does the Dustnet have so much contradictions?" Weiss shook her head...

"And of course it's only four minutes long! What."

* * *

_And so he, Lelouch, stood at the- fuck it._

Ren sighed. He really, really COULDN'T concentrate, not when Nora was right there, doing what she normally did, and damn was she TRYING to seduce him or something? For some reason, everything she was doing today seemed overly tempting to the boy.

It didn't help that his hormones seemed to be surging today, dammit. Giving up on his work for now, Ren shut off his laptop and looked at his partner, who was currently poking at random spots in the air.

"Nora...what are you doing?"

"I'm practicing my booping skills! Ssshhh..." Giggling, she came over to Ren, a finger on his mouth.

'Dust dammit, Nora, _stop_. I beg you, please.' He thought to himself and felt his face turn red as her face drew closer and closer-

"Boop!" She poked his nose, giggling. For some reason, this caught him by surprise.

"Dammit Nora!" He slipped, landing on her with a grunt. Nora blinked in surprise.

"Whoa, Ren...is this what you wanted to do?" She smiled seductively at him, seemingly beckoning him closer.  
'Oh, you devious girl. You PLANNED this.' Ren muttered in his mind.

Nora, meanwhile, was confused.

"Uh...Ren...what are you doing?" She had absolutely no clue about what Ren was going on about. "I mean, y'know, I want to...do it...with you..." She blushed at the thought of it.

As much as Yang liked to say they did the deed, the two were still chaste- and Ren wasn't normally like this- indeed, normally, Ren would, despite being usually this sexually frustrated, soldier on with his fanfics.

What _was_ going on today? Then, Nora realized that SOMETHING _had_ happened earlier.

"Oh...oh dear..."

* * *

"...OK, WHY DO I SOUND LIKE A NASAL RICH GUY?!" Weiss screeched at the screen. "JUST...WHY?!"

Just then, however, the door to RWBY dorm swung open.

"Weiss, is everything alright?" Milly walked in and Weiss turned around, mortified. She muttered under her breath, "Yes, of course Yang would forget to lock the door behind her...what an idiot..."

"Weiss? You were shouting?"  
"Oh...uh..." The heiress rubbed the back of her head. "I found this...series of...videos..."

"RWBYbridged?" Milly chuckled. "Oh, me and Mel love those!"

"...you do." Weiss responded, deadpan. The red-clothed girl nodded eagerly. "Yeah, we love 'em. We like how they did you-"  
"What did you say?"

"I mean, you DO sound like a nasal rich guy...but you seriously need to keep watching it. Please. I beg you, Weiss. Keep watching it; it gets better." Milly walked over to sit next to Weiss and the heiress obliged.

"It had better do. So...where's Melanie?"  
"Oh, Mels is in the infirmary."  
"What?" Weiss sounded shocked. "Why?"  
"Just a little accident with Dust. Don't worry, they're not hurt-"  
"Whoa, they?"  
"Uh, Blake and Nora kinda got involved..." Milly frowned. "Don't worry, they didn't get hurt! Just...the Dust mixture used is kinda...weird?"  
"Weird?"  
"I dunno...I forget the effects..." Milly shrugged. "I do remember they weren't supposed to be harmful..."

"Uhuh. Right." Weiss turned on the video again. "Well...ok, wait, is that..."  
"Yes, that is indeed royal fanfare playing when Blake appears."

"...and WHY IS SHE THE ONLY ONE WHO SOUNDS ANYTHING LIKE SHE REALLY DOES?!"

"...do you normally get this angry?"  
"NO!"

"You sound like you do."

"THAT'S WRONG! AND WHY THE HELL DOES PYRRHA SOUND LIKE A CREEPY STALKER?! I THOUGHT THAT WAS VELVET'S JOB!"

* * *

Ren shook his head, realising something was off.

'Hang on a minute...I feel...odd...of course...Dust. It has to be.'

And just like that, the effects of the odd Dust on Nora vanished off of him. The feelings of immense attraction towards Nora- at least, those that were artificially amplified- were replaced by embarassment.

"Uh...Nora..." He blushed and pulled himself off of her. "That was...stupid."

"I know..." Nora brushed herself off.

"I'm really sorry."

"Uh...yeah...I am too for...disturbing you..."

"I'd like to ask, why ARE you wearing that cat suit?" Ren scratched his head.

"Oh, me, Blake, Milly and Mel got into an accident."  
"An accident?"  
"Nothing too bad, just smashed into a wall of Dust jars, no biggie..."

"Uhuh...and...what did the Dust...do?"

"Things~"  
"Right, like make your every action look seductive?" Ren tilted his head.

"Yeeep!"

"Interesting..." Ren scratched his chin, a plan forming in his mind.

He really DID need to get Yang back for dressing him up as a maid, AND he needed to get back at Blake for the time she slathered his twin pistols in tuna. And, of course, he was running out of ideas for his fanfic anyway, so why not?

"Nora...where did you have the accident again? I need to...check it out."

* * *

A short while later, Milly and Weiss were laughing themselves silly.

"I-I can't believe...I can't believe that Blake..."  
"How does one girl manage to blow up so much FISH?!"

"Seriously, Velvet? Just...HOW DID YOU GET THAT CHAINSAW?!"

"And how did Pyrrha just...appear behind Jaune again?"  
"This is so stupidly crazy I love it."

"That's kinda what abridged series do~ Oh, and they sum up the plot, quickly."  
"Well...they succeeded there...even if the plot seems a little...off...and where did Roman acquire a BATMOBILE?!"

"More to the point, how did Velvet get a CHAINSAW GUN?"

* * *

Velvet sneezed adorably, while polishing her beloved Grimmbane axe, humming to herself.

Her axe had gotten covered in blood again somehow- Velvet didn't remember whose blood it was, at any rate, probably a Grimm trying to kill Weiss.

"Token appearance by the ensemble darkhorse~" She sang melodically. "The fans all love me, the writer adores me, yet my Weiss-sempai still ignores me~

Ooooooh what a wonderful world~ Oh wait...wrong song." She sighed.

"Well...at least I can fill that prompt someone wanted over at the kink meme...yeah, that's a good idea. Fill a fourth-wall breaking rap prompt! Yeah!

I KNEW ripping off Pinkie Pie's fourth wall breaking powers was a good idea!" Velvet cheered.

"Maybe Weiss-sempai might read it..."

* * *

"Oh my Dust. Did Roman just call Excalibur in?"  
"Who?"  
"Don't you watch Soul Eater?"

"...no."

"You're boring."

"Not my fault Yang and Ruby hog the TV all the time!"

* * *

"The amount of memes referenced in this is mindboggling." Weiss noted.

"Indeed."

"How many times has that damned dog appeared on screen?"  
"Much appear, very doge, wow-"  
"I swear, if you make that joke, Malachite..."

"Sorry..."

* * *

"OH MY DUST IS RUBY RIDING A-"  
"Yep."

"AND IS THAT-"  
"Yep."

"WHAT?!"

"It's funny, right?"  
"..."

* * *

Ren made his way down to the scene of the crime. Ozpin hadn't sent anyone to clean this up yet.

"Good." He pulled out a jar and a scraper and knelt down, looking around to make sure nobody saw him- he saw Glynda storming down the corridor, in a red sweater with a cross on it, looking flustered and irritated. Surprised, he stood up quickly, hiding the jar and scraper behind his back.

"Uh, Professor! What're you doing here?"

Glynda stopped dead in her tracks, before hastily turning around to the student She didn't seem to have expected anyone to stop her. "Ah, Ren! H-hello!"

"You seem...busy..."  
"Ah, yes! Uh..." Glynda blushed, rubbing the back of her head. "L-listen, don't tell anyone this, okay?"  
"What?"  
"I-I'm after something that I accidentally threw out..."  
"What is it?"  
"A...Yandere summoning scroll..." The professor blushed even brighter. "D-don't tell anyone, okay? I needed that as an aid to...help me learn how to avoid being one. Yes, avoid being one, that's it."

"Uh..." He acted innocent. "I don't know where you might find that, miss. Good luck finding it."

"Well then..." Glynda resumed her composure. "If you find it, return it to me immediately. It is a matter of utmost importance!"  
"Yes, miss." Ren nodded.

"And...you look suspicious, in this corridor. I thought it was shut off by Bartholomew?" Glynda said, clearly referring to her speed-obsessed compatriot.

"Uh...just passing through."  
"I really MUST go. Just...don't get into trouble, and tell me if you find that scroll!" The professor sped off, leaving Ren alone.

"...it's practically common knowledge Velvet has it..." He sighed and began to collect the Dust from the floor, pooling it into the jar. "...and I thought Glynda was a tsundere..."

Meanwhile, Glynda muttered under her breath.

"Damn you, Ozpin...you made me do this...you will be mine...I'll make sure of it!

Damn you for making me look like this...you idiot..."

* * *

After the video finished...

"Oh my Dust...just..." Weiss was out of breath from laughing. "I've never laughed so hard in my life."  
"You and Mel are similar, you know." Milly reflected. "You're both kinda uber serious and have these nice sides and dress kinda the same...but I've never really seen you laugh."  
"I laugh sometimes!" Weiss responded, offended. "I...just can't laugh when those idiots, Yang and Ruby are around!"

"Not...really. You seem kinda prim and proper all the time."

"I can be...fun." The heiress folded her arms, harrumphing. "I'm a fun person!"

"Oh, yeah, sure." Milly rolled her eyes.

"I-I'll prove it!" Weiss stood up and grabbed her coat, storming out.

"Where are you going?" Milly stood up, confused.  
"I'm going to prank Yang! Where do you think I'm going?"

* * *

Ren hid behind the corner near where his prey was walking down, jar of 'pheromone' Dust in his hand.

His mission was two-fold; pester Yang by splashing her with pheromone Dust, thus inconveniencing her by having Blake, her partner behind her, constantly fawn over her and cling to her like a cat in heat. This would also embarrass Blake, giving Ren an extra bargaining tool.

"This...is...perfect." He hefted the jar in his hand and got ready to throw it as he heard Yang approach.

"Show the world that love is still alive~ You must be brave~ Or you children of today are...Children of the grave, yeah!" Yang sang to herself as she walked down the corridor, unaware of the incident about to beset her with insanity.

"One...two...three!" Ren hurled the jar the moment he saw Yang's foot cross his line of sight...and was covered in Dust himself.

"What..." He looked in front of him...and Weiss was covered in the same Dust, her hand extended as if having thrown something.

"...oh *boop* no."

Yang walked past both of them, unaware of the bullet she'd dodged. She wouldn't be until much later, when an irritated Blake with several dozen admirers and a laughing Nora explained the situation, and she put two and two together, with a mischievous look towards the pheromone'd Weiss and her little sister.

* * *

Needless to say, both had fun nights with Ruby and Nora. Most especially Weiss.

"OH MY DUST RUBY GET OFF OF ME"

"You're so...cute..."

"AH NO PLEASE YANG HELP"  
"Sorry, my sister clings like a vice~ Also, kaaaarma~"  
"YANG XIAO LONG I WILL GET YOU ONE DAY I SWEAR IT"

The sound of Yang's laughter filled the school that night.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: So...yeah. That's over with now! Next chapter, Weiss Reacts to Script Fics! Woo! **

**And the fictional abridged series is semi-based off the series 'Code MENT' and 'None Piece' by PurpleEyesWTF as well as my own ideas, so sorry if it doesn't sound familiar to you.**

**Nothing much to say, really. I hope you enjoyed that chapter, leave your comments, thoughts, reviews, criticisms and suggestions, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	25. Weiss Reacts to Script Fics!

Weiss Reacts to (Bad) Script Fics!

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to yet another Weiss Reacts chapter! Now with 100% more narrative gags! Yeah! Stuff! Uh...yeah! **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Adopt-a-Weiss would be a real thing (I WANT TO ADOPT MY OWN WEISS)**

* * *

Weiss held up a plushie of herself; its eyes were solid blue, it had a large heart-shaped sign around its neck with 'Weiss Schnee' embroidered on it in curly, gold fabric, and it held a plushie version of Myrtenaster in its left hand.

She blinked in confusion. "...these exist?"

Blake studied another Weiss plushie, scratching her chin. "Apparently."

Yang chimed in. "You're so cute, Weiss...I mean, as a plushie. I mean, you're cute anyway when you're flustered..."

"Shut up." Weiss muttered irritably. "B-besides...the colors are a-all off on this thing!"

"I want one of me, dammit!" Yang pouted as she hugged the Weiss plushie, while looking around. "Uh...where's Ruby?"

"I dunno," Blake shrugged. "I saw her run off with her Weiss plushie somewhere."

The heiress put hers on the desk next to her computer. "Who dropped these outside our door anyway?"

"Some company called 'Rooster Teeth' or something." The catgirl shrugged as she looked for her stash of tuna-flavoured chips.

"Who?"

"Oh, I know them!" Yang sounded in. "They're, like, the guys who do those machinima movies and Achieve Men and...I love them!"

"Well..." Weiss sighed. "I'll admit these are cute...but seriously, where IS Ruby?"

* * *

Ruby was in the student lounge, sitting in what had to be the frilliest table and chair ever. A fake porcelain tea set; kettle, cups, plates and all; was on the table in front of her. On chairs next to her were a Weiss plushie, a teddy bear, a Yang action figure and Crescent Rose, her scythe-rifle.

She pretended to pour tea from her empty kettle into a cup. "Weiss-sempai, would you like some tea?" The crimsonette then changed her voice to sound slightly whinier and high pitched. "Why, thank you, Ruby-chan, I WOULD like some tea."

"Yay!" Ruby then put the teacup in front of the Weiss plushie. "Would you like one or two cubes of sugar?"  
"One, oh Ruby-chan~ Did I mention I love you?"  
"Oh?" Ruby squealed. "I love you too, Weiss-sempai!"

Cardin watched nearby, while sewing together a stuffed lion he was going to give to Pyrrha. He was unamused by the display.

"...crazy girl."

* * *

Weiss sat down on her computer, browsing through the archives of fanfic. She came across something that she'd seen quite a lot, but never bothered to actually read.

It was a story labelled "ruby and weiss are in love". It was clearly marked as using a script format, which was what Weiss was curious about; she'd seen more than her fair share of fanfics shipping her with Ruby, which she utterly denied she enjoyed.

"...Yang, what's a script fic?"

"Oh, you found one of those?" Yang strolled over to the computer, bending over to look at the monitor.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Uh...y'know how normal fics are written in prose, like, continuous dialogue, that kinda stuff?"

"Uhuh..." Weiss nodded.

"Script fics are exactly like you'd expect." Yang shrugged. "Not really much else to say."

"Huh..." Weiss clicked on it, beginning to read it.

"It doesn't sound that bad..."

* * *

Weiss: Hey ruby

Ruby: yes

Weiss: we should totally go out

Ruby: oh my god weiss

Weiss: yes i lov-

* * *

"WHAT THE BOOP DID I JUST READ?!" Weiss screeched at the screen, while Yang laughed behind her.

"...every bad White Rose fic, ever?" Yang wheezed out between fits of laughter.

"Just...WHAT?! There's no emotion in this! It's dead! Lifeless! This doesn't deserve to be called 'real' fic!"

"Now, hang on a minute there, Weiss." The brawler took a moment to stop laughing. "Not ALL of them are that bad. Only most of them."

"YES BUT READ THIS YANG. THIS IS TERRIBLE. THIS IS WORSE THAN THE LEMONS VELVET READS!"

* * *

Velvet sneezed adorably. "Weiss-sempai's talking about me~" She wiped her nose with a tissue, before resuming her browsing.

On the screen in front of her, was, to be frank, the flattest and most unromantic lemon that had ever been seen on Vytal, between 'Satin Crimsonetta' and Weiss. Indeed, the last person to beta it for her had described it as, roughly, the lovechild of a bad erotic novel and a furniture manual.

And Velvet LOVED it.

"It's...it's perfect..." She gasped at the screen. "W-whoever filled my request...p-please...t-take my thanks..." She read the lemon with gusto, squealing at every line in delight.

Elsewhere in Vytal...

Adam Taurus smiled, satisfied with his work. He'd just finished filling some desperate girl's request for a 'Satin Crimsonetta' x Weiss lemon fic, and he felt that he'd done his best work on it, ever.

"That was...excellently done, I'll say." He mused. "Hm...that'll show Belladonna! Saying I can't write for toffees...yeah, sure..."

* * *

"SERIOUSLY, YANG! READ THIS!" Weiss shouted. "Oh, fine~" Yang pulled a chair and read it alongside Weiss. "Only because you asked so nicely~"

"...you're a serious...what's the word Ruby used to describe you...a troll. Yes, a serious troll."

"I know~"

* * *

Weiss: oh dust that was amazing.

Ruby: you are so beautiful.

Weiss: I know, you too.

Ruby: we are perfect together.

Weiss: lets kiss *they kiss*

* * *

Yang burst out in laughter. "Oh Dust...that's so bad..."  
"Of COURSE it isn't, Yang. Course not." Weiss muttered sarcastically.

"But seriously, come on, princess. You can appreciate it's badness, right?"  
"...I don't quite get you."  
"It's bad. In a good way!"

"What."

"You'll see- Oh wait!" Yang pushed Weiss to the side as she saw something on the screen.  
"Yang! What-"  
"I'M IN THIS FIC!"  
"...of course. That's what you concentrate on..." Weiss sighed in exasperation.

* * *

Yang: i'm so hot i burn

Blake: hahaha nice pun

Yang: i know right

Blake: its beautiful just like you

Yang: aww thanks

Blake: i...i love you

Yang: no i love you

* * *

"..." Yang sat in disbelief at the screen. It was Weiss' turn to chuckle. "...convinced of its lack of quality?"

"...that is not a bad pun...but still..."

"So..."

"Eh, it'll get slightly better." Yang scrolled down.

"WHAT" The heiress' mouth hung slightly open in disbelief. Just...HOW could Yang still say there was a good side to this fic?!

* * *

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Beacon...

Velvet sat down, her daily requirement of one Weiss fantasy fulfilled, sighing in delight. Leaning back in her chair, she scratched her chin, wondering what to do.

"I wonder what Weiss-sempai's doing...hm...to be honest, I think I need to step up my game..." She sighed; she hadn't managed to tail Weiss in the last week. She hadn't left the dorm a lot, due to Glynda's search for the Yandere scroll- Velvet was nervous Glynda might find it in her room and punish her, as it were.

"Hm..." Then, Velvet had an idea. She shoved the scroll into the stuffing of a Weiss doll she was working on; all those sewing classes from Cardin really paid off, she thought as she hid the summoning scroll.

"Good, good..." As she sewed up the back of the Weiss doll, Velvet looked towards her 'Schnee Capturing Pouch', SCP for short. It contained everything one needed to capture a Weiss; vanilla sorbet, toy sharks and an admission pass to the ice rink. The bunnygirl smiled happily to herself as she went over to put it on.

"Hm...I wonder if using the Dust nets is a good idea? Hm...I CAN bait her..." She scratched her chin as she began to rummage through her closet of various devices and gadgets; explosive mushrooms, traps with cupcakes in them, cookie traps- for that Ruby girl-, and pheromone Dust –for everything else.

"Yes...yes, this will do." She giggled insanely to herself.

Weiss would be hers today, Velvet thought to herself triumphantly.

After all, attempt number five hundred seventy six point five- she didn't count the week where she was smashed into the wall by the door when Weiss stormed out-had a fair chance of succeeding, just like all the other ones did.

* * *

Weiss: oh my god a monster.

*the grimm leaps on ruby and rips her throt out*

Ruby: aaah

Weiss: oh no ruby dont die

Ruby: help me weiss dont let me die

Weiss: ruby dont die please *tries to heal but fails*

Ruby: weiss...i-i love you okay

* * *

"Seriously?! I could write ESSAYS that are more emotional than this!" Weiss sighed. Yang continued reading on.

"I can just imagine some bored guy saying all these lines to himself," She noted. "Or even better, Microsoft Sam!"

"What."

"What? I know stuff!"  
"..." Weiss shook her head. "NOW do you agree it's bad?"  
"I never doubted that for a second." Yang responded. "Course it's bad! But it's hilariously stupid and unemotional and come on, give it a break, Weiss- scripts ARE hard to show emotion in!"

"I could show emotion better in scripts, and seriously, "tries to heal but fails"? I don't even HAVE a healing Semblance!"  
"Point taken, but the stupidity of it makes it funny!"  
"I don't get you sometimes, Xiao Long..."

* * *

Velvet crept carefully across the corridor, her SCP ready to throw out the Weiss bait. She had to be stealthy, had to be sharp, had to be-

"Miss Scarlatina."Well, scratch that.

"Ah!" She jumped, to see Glynda right behind her. She looked exhausted, and was carrying a burlap sack with her. Velvet gulped, hoping Glynda didn't know she had the scroll.

"U-uh...h-hey, professor Goodwitch! I-I didn't expect y-"  
"Save the pleasantries. Could I borrow some rope, by any chance? I require some for...official purposes and the school storage rooms don't seem to have any."

"Uh..." Velvet hastily pulled out some rope from her pouch, handing it over to the professor.

"Thank you." She nodded and began to walk off, and Velvet wiped the sweat from her brow, sighing, before Glynda turned around, looking somewhat nervous.

"Miss Scarlatina...if you see any scrolls of parchment lying around, with content about Yanderes...please hand them over to me when possible."  
"U-uh..okay..."The bunnygirl walked off hastily, muttering a quick goodbye under her breath and rounding the corner.

Glynda wiped some sweat from her brow. "Thank Dust she didn't look at the sack." She slung the sack in front of her and opened it to check that whatever she'd placed in there was still in there; some nets- for Ozpin- and a lot of maple syrup and strawberry ice cream –the former was for Ozpin, the latter was for her.

She needed to get him back for making look like a fool in that Rin outfit, and if she had to take a leaf out of Miss Xiao Long's book, then so be it.

* * *

"HOW CAN SOMETHING BE THIS BAD?!" Weiss shrieked at the screen. The passage on it detailed Ruby being revived in about three or four lines, followed by what had to be the most unromantic kiss ever, and then more of the same failed smut that permeated the story.

Next to her, Yang was too busy laughing her head off to notice Weiss shouting.

"HOW CAN YOU FIND THIS FUNNY?!"  
"Oh come on, Weiss!" Yang cajoled her teammate into joining her. "Seriously, comparing sex to 'an itch that has to be scratched', in dialogue? That has either got to be the most genius thing ever, or the most narmful thing I've ever heard! Either way, it's hilarious!"  
Weiss remained unamused. "Yeah, sure, okay. I'm sure Blake would disagree; she knows what a good book is, after all. Right, Blake?"

Blake poked her head down from her bunk and took one look at the screen before bursting out in laughter. Weiss looked dismayed. "What? Buh-"  
"Even I have to read some terrible books sometimes, Weiss. Laughing at them makes it a whole lot better."  
"See? Even she agrees it's so bad it's good!"

"You're both insane, the two of you."

"Don't act so high and mighty, Weiss." Yang giggled. "I know you have the maid outfit just waiting for Ruby! And don't tell me that drawing of you being carried by Jaune in his Saber outfit wasn't-"

"S-shut up!" Weiss blushed profusely.

Blake was too busy laughing to provide her own input, so she curled back into her bunk, carrying on while trying to calm down.

"Well, Weiss?" Yang smirked.

"...j-just read the fic already, i-idiot!"

* * *

Velvet, by this time, had taken off her shoes to reduce sound, changing them for the tabi Blake liked using and she'd seen Pyrrha and Jaune don on occasion in the climbing courses. She needed to be as quiet as possible, in order to execute her plan.

She would be quick, stealthy, quiet, and more importantly, success-

"Uh, Velvet? Why are you whispering to yourself?" Velvet froze, to see Cardin, sewing kit in hand, behind her. She looked around, realising she was just outside the student lounge- inside, she noticed Ruby was busy conducting a tea party with various toys; this was good as-

"Velvet? Hello?"

"O-oh..." The bunnygirl shook her head. "Um...hey...Cardin..."

"Velvet, why are you carrying a large net with you?"

"Um..." Velvet panicked; she didn't have an explanation for that just yet. Her eyes flitted around, looking for something, anything; until she noticed Nora rounding the corner, walking away from her, in her sloth costume.

"Um...I'm going with Nora to...catch sloths! Yeah!"

"Oh." Cardin nodded, scratching his chin. "Well, I don't see why you have so much vanilla sorbet; it's freezing out there, and that net's probably too thin, but good luck, I suppose." He walked off, whistling a Risette tune to himself, allowing Velvet to sigh in relief.

"Good grief...did that Yuno girl have to deal with so much interruptions?! No wonder she wanted to off everyone...I just hope that nobody else spots me before I get to RWBY dorm..."

* * *

"...that...ended...stupidly." Weiss said, utterly deadpan, at the screen. This time, Ruby had died- for the umpteenth time in the story- leaving Weiss in grief, when suddenly a god or other revived her and started talking about how their love is too pure to end so quickly and- well, the heiress didn't care about the rest, she shut the tab before her brain cells melted from the stupidity.

"Oh Dust, that is SO cheesy..."

"And nonsensical."  
"And...hilarious. I mean seriously, did they just compare love to a good meal?!"

"...I still disagree..." Weiss sighed.

"But you have to admit," The brawler responded. ", that the similes and metaphors ARE hilariously stupid."

Weiss shook her head, giggling a bit at Yang's attempt to make her laugh. "Fine, fine, I'll admit it."  
"SEE I TOLD YOU!"  
"...but only because you asked so nicely, Xiao Long."  
"I don't care~ It's a victory for me~"

"So..." Weiss continued, changing the subject. "That was an utter failure to the script format, unemotional and unromantic, not to mention a cheap attempt to create a romantic lemon out of unromantic dialogue, horrible puns and just general drivel.

When I leave the review, shall I do it politely or abrasively?"  
"Whichever one's more hilarious~"

* * *

From: **TheRealIceHeiress**

This was, to be frank, utter drivel. The characters are off, your attempt to make everything seem dramatic and emotional fail when you used SCRIPT format of all things, your lemons are off-putting and nausea-inducing, and you have horrible, horrible grammar and spelling.

I hope you improve. This disappoints me.

-Weiss Schnee

* * *

"Well, that was...a thing."

"Indeed, Yang, indeed."  
"I do wonder, though...who wrote this crap?!"

"I dunno. Probably someone with the creativity and writing skills of a brain-dead ape on intoxicant Dust."

Elsewhere in Vytal, Cinder sneezed.

* * *

"I'm here at last!" Velvet squealed; she'd made it to RWBY dorm without any further interruptions. Casting out a shark plushie at the door and tying it to a rope, Velvet then crept down the corridor, with the other end, and hid behind a corner, with a net waiting.

"Just you wait, Weiss-sempai~ We'll be together!" She waited...and waited...and waited, before she felt something tug on the rope.  
"YES! I CAUGHT WEISS-SEMPAI!" She reeled the bait in quickly, hoping to catch her beloved in the net.

Just a little more pulling and-

"...Velvet-chan?"

"WHAT WHO WAIT WHAT?!" Velvet shrieked in surprise- it wasn't Weiss, but Melanie, clutching the shark tightly. She looked happy.

"...I like sharks..."

"Wha? Buh..."  
"Hey, can I keep this?"

"Wha...yeah...okay...buh..."  
"Okay, thanks! I'll get you something soon in return, Velvet-chan!" She took the shark plushie- and the rope, as Velvet was too surprised to have a firm grip on it- and walked off, whistling.

"...what..." Velvet stood there, just as Weiss and Yang walked past.

"Oh, hey Velvet!"

"..."

"You look...kinda surprised."  
"I agree." Weiss noted. "Something unexpected happen, perhaps?"  
"Looks like she's had something scuppered!" Yang said as she affected a fake British accent.  
"...where's that accent from?"  
"Don't you ever watch British shows?" The older girl asked as she and Weiss walked off, leaving Velvet stunned.

"...Weiss-sempai..."

* * *

**END**

**A/N: Insanity it is. Right, announcements: firstly, the possibly long-awaited sequel to Dear Fanfiction's chapter is coming, thanks to Little Sun Dragon-Chan's gracefulness in allowing me a second attempt to write about it! This time, I'll be covering the JNPR letters that weren't out when I wrote the first time. Be seeing you there soon, lads!**

**The next chapter will be...Weiss Reacts: Assorted Ideas! Featuring Weiss reacting to mirror selfcestyness- yes, I made that a word-, Velvet singing the Velvet is the Ensemble Darkhorse Song, and much more random ideas that never made it up to chapter level! Also, guys, for Assorted Ideas, I'm putting up a poll of people you would most like to see pester/kiss/irritate Weiss!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your reviews, criticism, thoughts, and suggestions, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	26. Weiss Reacts to Crossovers, Part 2!

Weiss Reacts to Crossovers, Part 2!

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to yet another RWBY crossover chapter! Sorry for those who expected the gag chapter; but hey, I've tried to place enough gags in here to make up for it, so...yeah! Some of the ideas I used here might show up in future fanfics I write, so stay tuned!**

**Sorry... :c**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Nora would be a rapper. All other franchises belong to their respective owners.**

**Mild spoiler warning: Mirai Nikki, Persona 3 and 4, Fate/stay Night.**

* * *

Weiss stood her sword at the ready. The Grand Duelist stood under the safe area under the turret, its watchful countenance- and purple energy blasts- keeping back any enemy stupid enough to approach the daughter of House Schnee.

She was alone; her teammates were at other lanes; Yang Xiao Long, the Half-Dragon, was on jungle, while Blake, the cat-turned-human seductress, stood, her nine cat tails flicking and a ball of purple energy in her hand.

On bottom lane, Nora and Ren stood ready, Nora with her hammer at the ready to heal Ren with her gems, while Ren twirled his guns, ready to fire a piercing blast of light at the first enemy in sight.

Weiss grumbled irritably; she had to face Cardin, infamous for his spinning attack and his habit of staying in bushes to assault his lane opponent. This didn't matter to her; she would simply send him packing, time and time again. The Grand Duelist against the Might of Vale; that would be an interesting match-

And her thoughts were interrupted by the sudden announcement that began all matches. "Minions have spawned!"

For on Summoner's Rift, infamous battleground of Vytalian summoners, they needed all the warning they could get. Weiss rushed into battle, eager to face Cardin in battle.

"They dare not strike back!"

* * *

Lie Ren, the new transfer student into Beacon, the stoic to beat all stoics.

Jaune Arc, his bumbling 'Partner', with his heart set on things and his foot always in his mouth.

Ruby Rose, loveable mascot from within the TV World, with an innocent mindset and a desire to 'score'.

Yang Xiao Long, Bruce Lee lover, with a love of steak above all else and in a close relationship with...

Weiss Schnee, heiress to the local Schnee Inn, graceful above all else, yet secretly just as goofy as the next girl.

Nora Valkyrie, idol singer from the big city, coming to stay and work at her grandmother's tofu shop, with the clearest crush on her 'Ren-sempai'.

Cardin Beaufort, local delinquent, secret sewing affectionado, feared throughout Vale's biker gangs for his maternally-empowered rage.

And finally, the mysterious Blake Belladonna, private detective and heir to the Belladonna legacy...what secrets does 'he' have?

Together, these ragtag bunch of misfits...form the Investigation Team!

RWBYSona 4, coming to a shop near you!

* * *

Meanwhile, on BeaconFort...

Demoman Nora rushed around, launching herself off the ground with her sticky grenades and over the bridge to the other side of the academy. She was followed by Soldier Penny, who pinned down enemy Scout Blake behind the walls of her side.

Meanwhile, deep within the enemy base, Spy Jaune disguised himself as Medic Melanie, who stayed behind Heavy Cardin, hoping for a good backstab opportunity, before he was burnt to death by Pyro Yang, checking for spies. "Mmmppph!"

And elsewhere on the map, Sniper Ruby waited for Engineer Weiss to make herself visible.

"That's it, Weiss-sempai, that's it..." She waited for the opportunity to score yet another kill on the gullible engineer.

And somewhere, Announcer Goodwitch leaned in her seat, smirking at the destruction she so loved seeing.

* * *

Ren, the mysterious transfer student from out of town, returning to Port Island for the first time in ten years, ever since his parents died in a fateful car crash.

Jaune, the ever bumbling sidekick, best friend to both Ren and the school idol Weiss Schnee, leader of the Archery Club.

Pyrrha Nikos, mysterious heiress to the Nikos zaibatsu, with more knowledge about the phenomenon of the Dark Hour and Apathy Syndrome than anyone else...

...save Nora Valkyrie, golden girl of Beacon and delinquent Cardin Beaufort. The three of them have a mysterious past, which will be elaborated upon...

Velvet Scarlatina, the computer lover with the cooking skills of a dead ox.

Ruby, the orphaned child with a vendetta and a cause to fight for.

Yang, the combat gynoid made to combat the threat of Shadows.

Together, they make up SEES, a group dedicated to fighting the Shadows and eradicating the Dark Hour.

RWBYSona 3, coming to a store near you.

* * *

Jaune climbed up the tower, shoving blocks along. He was in nothing but his heart-pattern boxers, and his sheep horns prominent. He had to escape this nightmare somehow.

He already had to choose between his high school sweetheart Weiss and the manic pixie dream girl Ruby, and his friends having their own problems, and now he had to deal with a nightmare where if he died, he'd really BE dead!

"...what did I do to get myself into this mess..."

* * *

"...Arc-kun..." Weiss stepped back, surprised. Jaune had literally just kissed her, full in the mouth, in the middle of the wreckage. Emotions were running through her body- affection, confusion, and just plain surprise.

Meanwhile, Velvet stood below, watching that bastard KISS her Weiss.

HER Weiss.

HER WEISS.

Jealous anger rushed through the Faunus girl's mind as she watched this sick display- how could he kiss her Weiss? Weiss was hers and hers alone, right? Nobody deserved to touch her, especially that bastard Jaune!

She settled it. He had to go.

She clutched her knife with a vice grip, screaming at the top of her voice. "JAUNE ARC, I WILL KILL YOU!" She rushed up to meet Jaune.

Jaune jumped down to meet her, drawing his sword. He was ready to die; he'd let Weiss know what he truly felt about her.

"I will kill you this time, Scarlatina-san. I won't change the future anymore."

With determination in his heart, Jaune met Velvet in battle, both fighting for the sake of their beloved Weiss.

* * *

Jaune Arc was, by day, a regular student of Ashford Academy, looking after his beloved, blind and handicapped sister Ruby. By all appearances, that's all he was.

By night, however, he was the masked resistance leader Zero, commanding the Black Knights, a group dedicated to freeing Japan from the control of the Britannians- in retaliation for what they did to him and his sister, a long time ago, when they were once known as Jaune and Ruby vi Britannia, before their exile.

Jaune also bore the power of kings, bestowed upon him by the mysterious, cat-like B.B; a Geass with the power to give a command that could not be ignored.

"I, Jaune vi Britannia, command you...!"

* * *

Ruby used to be an ordinary girl, living with her grandfather in a small town, with a boring life. Apart from her father and sister disappearing several years ago, nothing much else had happened.

Then suddenly, a giant robot had crashed into their house, destroying it utterly, and from the robot sprung the most beautiful girl Ruby had ever set eyes upon; Weiss, pilot of the Nirvash.

Needless to say, this was the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

* * *

Jaune shuddered, standing up to the ungodly powerful Cardin, King of Heroes, while his Servant, Weiss, watched, scared. She tried to talk him down.

"Jaune! Don't-"

"NO!" He snarled at Weiss, who gasped slightly, in shock at his assertiveness. He clutched his arm, blood seeping through his clothes, and by all accounts, he shouldn't have been standing; and yet, he was.

He screamed back at Weiss. "There is not ONE thing I can replace you with in my heart!" He poured his heart into it- from the moment he accidentally summoned her, throughout the Grail War, throughout all of it, he loved her.

He loved Weiss, and he wouldn't let this bastard Cardin take her away from him.

Even if he died for it.

* * *

"..." Weiss stared at the screen. "Just what the boop did you write?!"

Yang was too busy laughing to actually respond. Weiss folded her arms. "Seriously, is this what you spend your spare time doing?!"

"N-not my fault you people fit so well with the Persona cast!"  
"Cast?! These aren't fictional characters, Yang! I KNOW KIRIJO-SAN'S FAMILY! AND YOU KNOW YUKARI, YOU MET HER AT THE CONVENTION A MONTH AGO! AND RISE IS A REAL PERSON!"

"...not to Elf-kun she isn't..."  
"WHAT? AND WHO IS THIS BOOPING ELF-KUN? I SWEAR, YOU AND VELVET KEEP TALKING ABOUT THEM? THERE'S NOBODY CALLED ELF! NOBODY!"

"...but come ooooon!" Yang protested. "It's a funny concept, right? Right, Blake?"

Blake sighed. "I suppose. Although I don't know why you decided that I should be Naoto. Or Ahri. Seriously, Ahri?"

Jaune blinked. "At least you weren't Akise-I swear, being killed by Velvet... I kinda like being Lelouch, though. Wait, weren't you going to say I was Renton?"  
"Eh, I overused you a bit." Yang shrugged.

"AND WHY, JUST WHY AM I BEING SNIPED BY RUBY?!"

"Relax, Weiss." Ren sighed. "At least you got to be interesting. I had to be Souji AND Minato."

"Souji's the God-Emperor of Swag!" Ruby gasped in shock at Ren. "Y-you should be ashamed! And besides, I ended up being KEN. KEN FUCKING AMADA. SERIOUSLY?!"

"Velvet as Yuno and Fuuka? Interesting..." Pyrrha nodded in approval. "Cardin as Gilgamesh, Kanji, Shinjiro AND Garen, though...a bit weird."

"And besides, Weiss, you were pretty awesome characters. Fiora, Eureka, Yukiko, Yukiteru..."

"STILL. J-Just...AGH!" She stormed out of the room, causing everyone to sigh in exasperation.

"...did you show her the Suzumiya Haruhi parody?"

"What, where she was Haruhi and Jaune was Kyon? Nope, not yet."

Ruby frowned. "Why do I have to be Mikuru?"

"I like being Yuki, personally." Blake shrugged, before returning to reading her book.

"Ren fits Itsuki." Nora chimed in.

"Velvet as Ryoko-"  
"AGREED." Everyone in the room sounded in.

Needless to say, that was an interesting couple of hours spent.

* * *

**A/N: And last, but not least, the gag we've all been waiting for!**

* * *

Velvet stood in front of the entire school in trepidation. She knew this was it. This was her chance.

She knew that this could be her chance to impress Weiss-sempai; she needed this. Clutching her microphone, she muttered to herself, "T-this is it...I-if I can get Weiss to notice me..." She looked into the audience, clearing her throat. She spotted her beloved Weiss in the back, flanked by Ruby and Jaune; the latter two were giving her a thumbs-up. Weiss herself had an unamused look on her face.

And thus, Velvet began her rap. She'd composed this over several weeks, hoping to find the right verses to impress her many fans- and also her Weiss-sempai.

* * *

_They made me a victim, a fool_

_In front of Cardin, the tool_

_They think 'cause I'm a bunny_

_My suffering looks too funny_

_Well, lemme clear it up for you_

_So we can set the record true_

_I'm no victim, I'm the prime suspect_

_My psychotic tendencies nobody can detect_

_I'm the yandere to crown 'em all_

_Against me, all competitors will fall_

_Yuno, Ryoko, Rolo? Sorry, I disapprove of a pretender_

_I demand your surrender_

_Cause my obsession with Weiss_

_Makes yours look like mice_

_To mine!_

_And you all know, who I am_

_The Queen of RWBY, yes I am_

_Ruby, Blake, Yang, even Weissy-chan? No!_

_They're all basking in my glow_

_I'm the darkhorse, with many a fan_

_From TvTropes to DeviantArt to 4-chan_

_You all know my name_

_Velvet Scarlatina, of Yandere fame!_

* * *

Velvet stopped there, a worried look on her face. For a moment, there was only silence in the audience. She was about to walk off, when suddenly, the entire audience burst into applause.

"Woo! Velvet!"

"Yeah!"

"That was amazing!"

"Velvet-chan! Velvet-chan!" Everyone, from Cardin to the Malachite sisters, were applauding her skills.

She basked in the applause, looking around for Weiss, eager to find out what she thought- the bunnygirl found her, with a raised eyebrow, giving her a thumbs up, before walking out. Velvet giggled insanely to herself.

"Yes...I impressed Weiss-sempai~ Now to work on my serenading skills~"

Plan "Serenade the Idol Singer" was now underway.

* * *

**A/N: I take no responsibility for burning your eyes out with my crappy rapping skills. **

**I apologise to those who partook in the poll, but as I was working on this chapter, the chapter itself changed from the original conception to, well, this. Sorry, you'll get a little treat in exchange~**

**Now that that's over, I hope you enjoyed that- I actually had to rewatch a fair bit of the anime involved for that; for those interested, here's a list of references, in chronological order;**

**League of Legends**

**Persona 4**

**Team Fortress 2**

**Persona 3**

**Catherine**

**Mirai Nikki (Future Diary)**

**Code Geass**

**Eureka Seven**

**Fate/stay night**

**The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**The next chapter will be Weiss Reacts to Bedside Manner, courtesy of Orion Matrix! Thanks!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, leave your reviews, criticism, thoughts and suggestions, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	27. Special Chapter 9: Bedside Manner!

Weiss Reacts to Bedside Manner!

**A/N: Hello, guys! This chapter, you guys may or may NOT have been waiting for; Weiss Reacts to Bedside Manner, by Orion Matrix! Woo! Yeah! Go read his fics instead, by the way, they are far better than Weiss Reacts. Far fluffier, too. And far more sensical.**

**A couple of things, though. Firstly, happy 100 favourites! Woo! Thanks guys!**

**Secondly, the first chapter, as of Wednesday, now has 10,000 views! Yeaaaaaah!**

**And finally, to the Guest who asked, yes, I do play League. 1v1 me bro~ **

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Velvet would be queen of all yanderes (like she isn't already?).**

**Bedside Manner belongs to Orion Matrix.**

* * *

Weiss shuddered as she quickly slammed the door on Velvet- this was the third time today she was trying to serenade her.

"Just WHAT gave her the idea that serenading me would work? Hmph, just because I like ONE of her raps doesn't make her some sort of musical genius."

"Well, that, and you did kinda hint in your not-so-secret journal that you secretly dreamed Jaune would-"  
"Hey!" Weiss shot a glare at Ruby. "T-that's supposed to be private! H-how'd you know?!"

"Uh...Velvet showed me?"  
"...SHE'S BEEN READING MY DIARY?!"

Meanwhile, in Velvet's dorm...

The bunnygirl pored over her beloved's diary like it was a holy scripture, an unquestionable repository of knowledge...and, of course, exactly like it was; a guide to finding out what Weiss-sempai liked.

"Hm...so she likes...Jaune? That can't be right." She looked at the diary carefully, then to another piece of paper she was scribbling on, divided into two columns, titled 'Weiss' favourite things' and 'Weiss' hates these'. On the latter column, "Ruby Rose" was written, over and over, in increasingly frantic and insane scribbling, along with "Yang Xiao Long", "Yuno Gasai", "People looking in her diary", "Professor Oobleck" and "Jaune Arc", also written in the same way as Ruby's name. In the other column, after the customary sorbets, ice skating, snowmen and toy sharks, Velvet's name was repeated in increasingly flowery script.

"No, that can't be right. She can't love Jaune. She loves only me~" She gladly ignored the mention of her secret affection for the blond boy, and added "serenading" to the list.

"Hm...she also likes cosplay?" Velvet noted, smiling.

"Hm...I wonder what she likes to cosplay...I guess I'll just have to steal her anime too~"

* * *

"Right..." Weiss placed a spare diary, this time chained to the desk, next to the toy shark Cardin had made for her and another toy shark Ruby had bought. Sighing dejectedly, she went onto the fanfic archives, in search of stories to read. Ruby pulled up a chair and sat next to her, curious to see what Weiss would dredge up today.

"Hm..." Weiss paused for a bit on one. "Bedside Manner?"

"Why am I ill in this?"

"Is this another White Rose story?!" Weiss sighed and moved to scroll down, before...

"READ IT READ IT READ IT READ IT"

"...why-"  
"JUST READ IT WEISS READ IT I WANT TO READ IT PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEAAASE!" Ruby attempted to make her face look as adorable as possible, widening her eyes and pouting a bit. "For me, Weiss...for me..."

"...fine...but only because you asked so nicely." Weiss clicked on the story's link, while Ruby squeed to herself.

"_Yes...more White Rose fic! I love these fics! Weiss is so cute when she's embarrassed...no, she's just cute when she's-_

"Uh, hello, Vytal to dunce, you there?"  
"Oh...uh..."Ruby blushed. Weiss sighed, muttering under her breath as she started to read the fanfic.

* * *

"It's nice to see you take such good care of me, Weiss-sempai..."

"N-nonsense." Weiss folded her arms. "Y-you never get ill, so t-this'd never happen!"

She had a point; Ruby never seemed to get ill, from anything. Weiss remembered the time when she ate a stale, raw chicken leg...and not only didn't get ill, but demanded more, and proceeded to find more, and eat those, much to her- and the rest of team RWBY's- disdain. And of course, the time all of team RWBY ate spoiled oysters and Ruby was the only one who hadn't fallen ill.

"...you're right..." Ruby looked down sadly. _"I wish it could, though...if only because I could have Sempai care for me! S-she's so cute..."_

"...and of course, some peasant's catering company's clearly responsible..." Weiss muttered. "Bunch of incompetents..."

"Hey, it's not like it really happened, right?"

"Still, what kind of a reputable catering company can't cook a chicken?! Excellent health record, my backside..." Weiss continued reading.

"_Dammit! She's so...adorable...when she gets so protective..." _Ruby couldn't help but try to hug Weiss, before-

"Ruby! What do you think you're doing?!"

"N-nothing..."

Weiss sighed, continuing to read. "Oh, of course, this company of incompetents gets EVERYONE poisoned..."

"Wow. Seriously?"  
"...I can only hope this never happens. Velvet would have their heads for threatening me...we all know how she is about you..."

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Beacon...

Velvet polished her chainsaw-axe, humming to herself.

"Oh how I love my Weiss~ My Weiss-sempai, my one and only love~" Set out next to her were several medicines, including milk of magnesia and paracetamol- she had these on the off chance Weiss fell ill with something bad. She also had a vomit-sampling kit, for testing her vomit for anything potentially dangerous or infectious, and to trace it back to the poor sods that poisoned her Weiss.

The axe, of course, was for what she would do to them FOR poisoning Weiss.

* * *

"Hey, at least Ozpin's on our side, right?"

"I know exactly what Ozpin would do if this really happened." Weiss nodded. "Remember what happened to that guy who harassed Glynda?"

"Oh yeah...that was scary...I still have nightmares about that..." Ruby shuddered at the thought.

"I can't believe he managed to do that without leaving a trace on the guy..."

"Ow...that looked painful..."  
"I know, right?"

"Awww...you really care-"  
"S-shut up! I'd never do that! I-I'm not t-that kind of person!" Weiss shook her head, blushing. "B-besides, Yang would be fighting to do that before me!"

"_No she wouldn't...she'd be letting Weiss do it, before taking pictures and handing them out. Not that I'd mind...having Sempai care for me is good enough..."_

"J-just read the fic, y-you dunce!" Weiss folded her arms, irritated at how idiotic Ruby was being. And, of course, she was doing it to hide her own appreciation of Ruby's cuteness- for not even the Ice Heiress could resist the moe of Ruby Rose.

Not that she'd ever say that to Ruby's face.

"Hmph, at least this...peasant...got some of my characterisation right. I'd never abandon you-"

"Awww, Weiss-"  
"...because I'd be making you catch up on work in class. Why would I come there simply to act like a lovestruck buffoon? D-dunce..."

"But Weeeeiss~ I'd be too ill to do it..."

"Nuh-uh, your studies are more important that my feelings! N-not that I have any for you!"

Milly poked her head in from the window. "Sure you don't, Weiss, seeing as you have a clear crush on her, like your face say-"  
"S-shut up! H-how'd you get there anyway?!"

"I dunno!"  
"MILLY GET DOWN FROM THERE YOU IDIOT!"

"S-sorry..." Milly disappeared from there, leaving Weiss and Ruby alone and baffled.

"This is so mushy, it hurts! H-how could someone write me like this?! I-I'm far more assertive! A-and I would NEVER act so lovestruck!"  
"I think it's realistic-"  
Weiss frowned, blushing. "W-what would you k-know, i-idiot!?"

"W-we've been friends for two years, Weiss."

"Speaking of which...doesn't this fic take place two years from the beginning?"

The cloaked girl nodded. "...y-you don't think that could take place in an alternate universe from ours, could you?"

"Of course not, you fool! Those don't exist!"

"Just saying..."

"...and just to be sure, I did NOT hate you when we first met. I was...a bit unsure that Ozpin should've let you in, okay!" Weiss folded her arms defensively. "I had complete faith in such a y-oh, for Dust's sake! I just shoved my foot into my mouth, didn't I?!"  
"N-no...b-but it's nice to know you had such faith in me...even then..." Ruby leaned her head on Weiss' shoulder. Weiss frowned, but let her be.

"_OH MY DUST OH MY DUST OH MY DUST SHE NEVER HATED ME SHE LOVED ME FROM THE BEGINNING AND SHE'S LETTING ME LEAN ON HER SHOULDER THIS IS BIG IF ONLY YANG TOOK A PICTURE OF THIS THEN I COULD REMEMBER THIS FOREVER"_

Weiss frowned some more, disapproving. "Hmph. My fatal flaw is NOT pride. I am NOT proud at all! H-how could he?"  
"Well...you are kinda proud...you kinda gloat when you beat someone...and you kinda...uh, stomp off, looking all cute when you lose..."  
"S-shut up! I am NOT cute, Ruby! Why do you people keep saying I'm cute?! And I never gloat! I only let them know I am superior! As always!"

"Suuuure..." Ruby chuckled teasingly, to which Weiss responded by folding her arms, offended. "_Not t-that you aren't a-adorable when you do..."_

* * *

"He gets Yang right, at least. I'd expect her to rush in faster, if anything." Weiss noted. "I'd never get in her way, if she was trying to see you- I don't think I'd survive that."

"Y-yeah...Yang's scary when she's mad...remember when she and Cinder fought over that last burrito?"  
"...I swear they burnt down half of Vale for that burrito!"

"Yeah..." That was a dark day for the people of Vale; when Yang and Cinder were both deprived of their burritos. To that day, the area it destroyed hadn't been rebuilt, for fear of further breakouts of fire and blood.

"Oh...yes..." Weiss wrung her hands, reading carefully. "Now to pay back the peasants for their incompetent cookery..."

"Ozpin's coming along? And Glynda?" Ruby said eagerly. "This oughta be interesting..."

"I still think Velvet would be far worse an enemy than either of them. Even Cinder and Roman would be less so..."

"Point taken. Apparently she took pointers from Yuno Gasai, of all people. Goddess of Yanderes, y'know."

"...that exists?"  
"I know...a goddess of Yanderes..." Ruby shuddered. "People actually pray enough to a goddess of Yanderes for one to exist..."

"Hmph...those fools, kill Ruby with food poisoning? Insane idea. If anything, Cinder would kill her over a burrito before poisoning could occur..." Weiss noted. "And, of course Yang would blow me a kiss...s-she's just an absolute...d-deviant..."  
"Agreed, my sister is a perv." Ruby nodded. The pair continued reading eagerly.

* * *

"...FOR THE SAKE OF EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD I WOULD NEVER CONSIDER RUBY AS A GIRLFRIEND! NEVER!" The heiress pouted and blushed. "S-she's too stupid! A-and she's too young! W-why are these idiotic fanfic writers always shipping me with her?!"  
"Yeah." The crimsonette snorted. "I agree."

"_Even though her nickname's the 'gayest of them all', Yang's all but said Weiss loves me and she's such a tsundere...she's just so...cute!" _Ruby's mind filled with various images of blushing Weiss, causing her to squee at the thought.

"Those numbers Blake's given you, those are DEFINITELY coming in handy later." Ruby nodded.

"Agreed. Blake probably stole them from the company themselves and it's probably something important to 'em. I don't put it past Blake."

"She's a ninja!" Ruby nodded in agreement.

"Hey, where IS Blake, anyway?" Her partner wondered.

* * *

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Beacon...

Blake ran off from Cardin's room, carrying a small plushie doll of Melanie Malachite; right down to the cute little blue dress and a sewn-on smile with button eyes-, with a satisfied smirk on her face. Cardin gave chase, carrying a folding chair.

"COME BACK HERE! HEY!"  
"Melanie and Cardin, sittin' in a tree..."  
"DAMMIT BLAKE I MEAN IT!" Cardin looked seriously worried that Melanie would find it and...get the wrong idea.

Yes, that was his justification. He made it up when he'd found the doll missing and Blake, having somehow gotten in to his windowless, locked room, standing in the open doorway with the doll. He definitely did NOT like Melanie that way. Nuh-uh.

Blake ran around the corner, before opening a vent with Gambol Shroud's scabbard and climbing in, shutting the vent under her, watching Cardin storm past with the chair. She giggled.

"Oh, Cardin~ If only you knew...I stole the master keys from Ozpin's office. Simple, really." She twirled the keys on her finger. "Ozpin SHOULD really change his safe's password from 'GOODWITCHXOZPINFOREVAHS'. That wasn't hard to figure out, really."

* * *

"...How could I be Glynda and Ozpin's daughter? I look nothing like them!"

"Well...you look kinda like Glynda...and it'd be no surprise, considering Glynda's an even bigger tsundere than you...I mean, have you seen the way she looks at Ozpin?"  
"S-shut up, I am NOT a tsundere!" What is with you people?! And they mistook me for a MAID?! T-this stupid peasant! H-how dare he embarrass me like this?!" Weiss shrieked at the screen, while Ruby started giggling. "I-it's not funny, Rose! T-this is a disgrace! J-just...h-how dare he say I look anything like a peasant?! I do not DRESS like a maid, nor do I LOOK like a maid!"  
"You like dressing like one..."  
"S-shut up! That's supposed to be a secret!"

"Not my fault you keep your maid outfits in your main closet, next to your clothes, which seem to be EXACTLY the same every day!" It was true; Weiss had several copies of her white and blue shirt, skirt and bolero jacket ensemble in her closet, with two maid outfits, one for her and one for Ruby. Ruby found out when she found Velvet wearing the exact same outfit as Weiss was, one day.

"...why do you DO this to me? You and your sister..." Weiss sighed irritably and continued reading.

Ruby smiled to herself. _"I-if Sempai really w-wanted me to dress like a maid...s-she should just ask..."_

Weiss laughed smugly. "Just as expected of such an incompetent company. They can't even keep their own workspace clean."

"They're supposed to be able to keep it clean, right? I mean, how did they manage to keep their perfect health and safety record? Didn't they say this happened before?"

"Must have bribed or blackmailed the health inspectors. " Weiss shrugged. "Hmph. Any reputable company wouldn't be in this situation anyway. Reputation and client lists...I couldn't care less, and frankly nobody should."

* * *

"Ooooooh, Noir's in for it now!" Ruby giggled. "He DEFINITELY shouldn't have messed with Ozpin..."

"Thirty-two hundred thousand Lien..." Weiss scratched her head. "I'd personally force him to shut down the entire company...or buy it out." She smirked. "Yes, I'd buy it out."  
"Whoa, you can do that?" Ruby looked at her in amazement.

"Of course I can! We've done that to many fools stupid enough to cross our company! There's a reason the Schnee Dust Company has so many enterprises!"

Ruby nodded in awe. "I mean, I expected electronics and power, but yoghurt and instruments? You're essentially a zaibatsu's heiress!"

"I like the sound of that..." The heiress smiled. "...and of course, as per usual, I exceed expectations and make him plead for his job."

The crimsonette agreed. "Blake is definitely a ninja."

"To ninja Blake and her shenanigans!" Weiss opened a can of soda, as Ruby opened a can of milk, and both toasted the antic master. Even in fanfiction, she was the master of antics and stealth-related ninjahood.

Blake poked her head in, waving the Melanie doll around. "Hey, guys, where's Yang?" Ruby and Weiss looked at her, tilting their heads. "Uh..."  
"Never mind. Don't tell Cardin where I am. See you around!" She ran out, and the pair could hear Cardin screaming down the corridor.

"...I wonder what's going on?"

* * *

"And the Schnee Dust Company adds yet another business to its veritable army of businesses. Not that such an incompetent company deserves our patronage." Weiss smiled smugly.

"Hey, do you ACTUALLY have someone like Amber?"

"No. He probably mixed up rumours of me, my butler, and miss Kirijo...although I can see why he did that. It's sweeter revenge, after all, and I would definitely do that..." She smirked.

"I love how you still let him work at the company..."  
"Hey, I'm forgiving of people!"

"What about Cardin?"  
"I forgave him eventually!"  
"After about a week!"  
"Still!"

"And...Blake and I AREN'T enemies...well...we aren't FRIENDS, per se..."  
"But it isn't because of the whole Schnee-White Fang thing-"  
"Of course not!" The heiress looked offended. "I've let bygones be bygones! No, it's because she has so much dirt on me! I swear, her and Yang...their antics are so...gah!"  
"_She looks so cute when she's flustered...dammit, Ruby, why didn't you sing your serenade to her! Dammit dammit dammit!"_

"We can trust Blake. Sometimes. SOMETIMES." Weiss acquiesced. "I still refuse to tell her ANYTHING I hold dear and private..." Remembering her confession several weeks ago, she added hastily, "Voluntarily."

* * *

"Mhm." Ruby nodded. "Awww...we make such a cute co-"  
"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!"

"What? I was just saying-"  
"I do NOT FANCY YOU DAMMIT!"  
"...huh." The crimsonette looked at her, confused, yet secretly smiling.

"OK?! I DON'T LOVE YOU! I DON'T FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE OR CUTE OR INNOCENT AND I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU SMELL OF ROSES OR THE WAY YOU GIGGLE AT EVERYTHING!" Weiss continued screaming about the things she 'didn't' like about Ruby, and the crimsonette, being well versed in the art of tsundere identification, relished every moment of it, knowing that Weiss secretly DID like these things about her.

"I...j-just...GAH! THIS IS WHY I DON'T READ THESE THINGS! WHITE ROSE FANFICS FLUSTER ME SO MUCH!" Weiss shrieked, before breathing heavily and sighing. "I'll...be right back, Ruby...I just need some fresh air." She walked out, slinging her bolero jacket on.

As the door shut behind her, Ruby let out the biggest squee ever heard in Beacon history.

"OH MY DUST OH MY DUST! SHE PRETTY MUCH ADMITTED SHE LOVES ME! OH DUST I LOVE THIS OH DUST OH DUST I HAVE TO TELL YANG OH DUST THIS IS THE GREATEST THING SINCE COOKIE MILK AND COOKIE VENDING MACHINES I LOVE YOU TOO SEMPAI OH MY DUST YOU'RE SO CUTE WHEN YOU'RE EMBARRASSED OH DUST!"

In her joyful mood, Ruby decided to leave a review for this story. The author deserved some thanks for enabling this, after all.

* * *

- From: **TheRealIceHeiress**

Ohai this is Ruby-chan using Weiss' account and I have to say thank you for that, you made Weiss-sempai admit she loves me! I love you so much! I saw that you have a sequel and I really really REALLY want to read it like oh my dust have my babies, okay not literally but still I can metaphor right hahaha I love this story it's really amazing and good and realistic you made some speling errors but i still love it and oh my dust Sempai really loves me

Have some of my cookies, I'll let it slide this time

By the way I'm called DaRougeFightingHood here

-Love, Ruby

* * *

With that said, Ruby ran outside, skipping happily.

Her dream had become true- Weiss had all but outright admitted she loved her, in her typical tsundere screaming rage.

And she loved it, as she loved Weiss.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Well, that's done now. Woo! Next chapter will be Weiss Reacts to Curtain Fics! **

**By the way, a shout out to Orion Matrix, again, for being the talented writer of Bedside Manner; you guys should read that instead of this, by the way. It's even got a sequel! Thanks for letting me write about your fic, if you're reading it right now.**

**So, I hope you guys enjoyed that. Leave your comments, reviews, suggestions, thoughts and criticisms, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	28. Weiss Reacts to Self Inserts!

Weiss Reacts to (Bad) Self-Inserts!

**A/N: I know I promised a curtain fics chapter, but as I browse through the RWBY archives, I seem to be seeing more and more self-insert fics by the day. Now...this is an unusual thing for me to do, but I want to get into this business, so have a self-insert (parody)! ;)**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Weiss would actually BE German.**

**DISCLAIMER 2: This is not aimed at any particular author. If your name matches the one used here, I'm sorry as I deliberately used the most common one for effect.**

* * *

Weiss' palm rubbed her forehead as she sighed irritably. "Yang?"  
"Yes?"

"Please, explain." Weiss' tone of voice sounded annoyed. "You know about all of these original characters who seem to be complete ripoffs of real game series?"

"Oh, yes." Yang sounded irritated. "For some reason, Final Fantasy seems to be a common thing to rip off. Seriously, you don't even bother renaming the thing from a 'Buster Sword?'"

"Yeah? Well...look at this." The heiress motioned to the screen. Yang moved over, scratching her chin. "...a self-insert fic?"

"Uhuh." Weiss nodded.

The fanfiction depicted someone literally thrown into the RWBY universe, from some place called 'Earth'- "I swear that only exists in anime!"- and into Beacon, who then gets somehow accepted by Ozpin, despite having had no formal training as a Huntsman, before somehow earning the love of Weiss simply by speaking to her. To add insult to injury, he stuck out like a sore thumb among the Huntsmen and Huntresses; a young, scrawny boy called 'John Smith', in a world populated by names like 'Jaune Arc' or 'Miltiades Malachite', who had no training and yet managed to keep up with, of all people, Ruby- the Huntress with the most potential, as declared by Professor Port.

Yang burst out laughing.

"D-does this guy SERIOUSLY think you're that easy to win over?!"

"I know, right? I mean, I'm not hard to win over-"  
"Sure, it only took us like, two years to win you over, Weiss."  
"Shut up. But seriously, I'm not someone who'll break down at the earliest sign of someone being affectionate to me!" Weiss folded her arms, self-assuredly. "I'm not so starved for love that I'm going to hook up with the first man to show me love, after all."

"Agreed. And, seriously, can this guy get anymore Sue-ish?!" Yang giggled at the corny writing and the factors seemingly stacked in his favour. "He somehow has an Aura AND a Stand?! I mean, seriously, I don't think anyone in this world has a Stand for a Semblance, and if I did, I'd be forever in their service! And don't you have to have your Aura unlocked?"

"Yes..." Weiss nodded. "Wait, aren't Personas similar?"

"Yeah, but my point is, nobody on this world even HAS those! That's a cool game gimmick!"

* * *

Somewhere, Mitsuru Kirjo sneezed.

* * *

Yang shook her head. "And, of course, he SOMEHOW has the ability to lift Crescent Rose. I bet you anything he's scrawnier than Milly! Well, looks scrawnier, anyway."

"Didn't Ruby train with that thing?"  
"She did. It doesn't explain how some random normal person can just do THAT."

"This sounds like complete bunk." Yang sighed. "I swear, so many people think just inserting themselves will make them complete badasses. This takes TIME and TRAINING."

"To think that..." Suddenly, a scream sounded out from the courtyard. Weiss and Yang stopped.

"...what was that?"

"...I dunno..." Yang looked worried. "You don't think..."

"No...no way." Weiss shook her head. "You don't think someone just...inserted themselves into the universe, right? That's just plain impossible!"  
"We said that about Saber. The courtyard has to be held together with glue!"  
"..." The heiress sighed, feeling a sweatdrop form on her forehead. "...this is going to be a LONG day, isn't it?" She moved out of the dorm cautiously, watching out for any random, out-of-place people, while Yang shook her head.

"I feel simultaneously sorry for Weiss and gleeful about this." Yang chuckled and followed Weiss.

* * *

In the courtyard...

John Smith awoke in the courtyard, groaning. The last thing he remembered was watching RWBY, specifically, the bits with his favourite character, Weiss Schnee, before falling into the screen like-

"Ow..." He rubbed his head, which suddenly felt as if it were going to split apart, looking around. "W-where am I?" Scratching his head, he looked next to him, picking up what seemed to be...

"Whoa...is this..." He hefted the weapon in his hands. "...this is Gilgamesh's weapon!" Indeed, the boy was carrying Ea, the sword that only the King of Heroes himself wielded, the blade that could cut holes in reality.

"...I'll be careful with this..." He hefted it carefully in both hands; despite Ea looking fairly small, he couldn't carry it with one hand, as its size belied its weight. Realising he needed a free hand, the boy decided to simply drag Ea on the floor behind him; after all, such a powerful weapon would not be so easily damaged. He tried to look around for any signs of his location, before realising something.

"Wait..." He scratched his chin. "The statue of Hunters...the Fountain...I'm in..." He gasped. "Beacon...and if I'm in Beacon...then that means..."

He'd often had dreams about meeting, falling in love with and dating Weiss- indeed, many of John's fanfiction seemed to revolve around shipping a thinly-veiled self-insert of himself with the heiress, who seemed to easily defrost around him. And now, now that he was in Beacon...he could meet her.

"This is...this is perfect!" John cheered. "Now...this looks like this'll be similar to the fanfics I always read...so...soon, I'll probably walk into a Grimm...and...hm, I wonder what kind of Grimm it'll be? A Boarbartusk? A Beowulf? An Ursa?" He eagerly looked around for the horrible, mauling beast that would probably signal RWBY's appearance, and thus, Weiss...

...before realising that he was standing in the middle of Beacon, possibly the most Grimm free area on the planet, short of any burrito shop Cinder frequented. He sighed.

"Okay, so that's not happening..." He sighed. "So, I might as well go find someone who knows RWBY..." He started looking around for someone, anyone, to lead him to RWBY and Weiss.

* * *

Weiss ran into Cardin, who had an immense blush on his face. "Uh...hey!"  
"Hey." He sounded flustered.

"Uh...Card-"  
"Blake, uh, showed my Melanie doll to Nora, and now..." He sighed. "Nora's an immense troll, and basically, she's just, uh...well...Ihave to go buy a load of snacks for her now..." He sighed.

"Why?"  
"She'll tell Melanie I like her. W-which I don't!" Cardin shook her head. "I just wanted t-to make her a doll! T-that's all!"  
"Uhuh, okay." The heiress filed that away for later reference. "Listen, have you seen any scrawny guys with strange weapons and clothes, looking for me, things like that?"  
"N-no...uh...I gotta go, Weiss. I'll catch ya around." He ran off, muttering under his breath. "Dammit Nora..."

Weiss glanced behind her to see Yang running past Cardin to join her. "Hey. Found anything yet?"  
"No. Hey, listen, Weiss. If you want to avoid this guy, shouldn't you be hiding?"  
"Uh...no? Wouldn't it make more sense for me to scare him off?"  
"...point. If he sees how scary the cute as a button tsundere heiress Weissy-chan is-"  
"Shut up."

"Not my fault you're adorable! No wonder so many people want to love you..."

* * *

Eventually, John managed to find someone familiar. At the sight of her, he practically squeed, his eyes lighting up in glee.

"Oh my god! I-it's...It's..."

Milly looked at him strangely. "Uh..."

"M-Miltiades Malachite?!"  
"Uh...I prefer Milly..." She scratched her head.

"...b-but...I thought you...Yang...and...didn't...go here!" John was clearly overexcited and trying to think straight; rational thought failed him.

"...uh...we're kinda required to go here, as this is the only Hunter academy in all of Vale for high schoolers?" Milly looked confused. "Don't you know that? Haven't you been here long enough?"  
"Uh? Wha? No!" John blinked. "I'm from Grand Rapids, Michigan! Y'know, America-Oh wait, that doesn't exist here-"  
"Wait, America?!" Milly's eyes lit up. "L-like in Hetalia?! Like in the anime?"  
"...uh..." He blinked, thinking. '_Miltiades is an otaku?'_

"Uh...sure, yeah, okay. Hey, listen-"  
"OH MY DUST THAT'S AMAZING"

"Miltiades-I mean, uh, Milly, uh...d'you know where I can find team RWBY's dorm?"

"OH MY DUST THAT'S-wait, if you're not from here, then...OH." She nodded. "So you're...uh..."

'_Dammit, I'm in one of those bad self-insert fanfics, aren't I? I'd better stall him then...'_

"I haven't a clue, sadly."  
"What?! But..."  
"Uh...go look for someone who does." Milly rushed off quickly, muttering, leaving John in the corridor. When she was out of earshot, she muttered in exasperation. "Seriously, self-inserts? I feel sorry for whichever person in RWBY got THIS one."

* * *

"What do we do WHEN we find him?" Yang inquired to her younger teammate, who shrugged.

"I was thinking try and send him back."  
"How?"  
"I dunno..." Weiss sighed.

"...maybe Blake will know? She knows things."

"She does, doesn't she?"

"Oh, yeah..." The brawler giggled. "I still don't know how she broke into Cardin's room without a lockpick..."

Suddenly, a boy's voice shouted across the corridor, a voice neither of them recognized, even vaguely.

"Oh my god..."

"...crap, that's him, isn't-"  
"Uhuh." Yang nodded, before pulling out her phone.

"What's that for?"  
"I have to take pictures of this."

John spotted Yang and Weiss, just across the corridor from him. His heart began to pound quickly, and a blush filled his face, as he realised that he was standing, literally, in front of _Weiss Schnee_, of all people; his favourite character and the girl of his dreams...

"...okay, John, we've got to be cool. We've got to be cool. Weiss will just fall into our hands, after all, she's just in need of someone to care about her, right?" He swept back his hair, hefted Ea in a prideful pose, and strolled across to a giggling Yang and an irritated Weiss.

"Hey, uh...who are you?"  
"Weiss Schnee. And you?"  
"John. Weiss, huh? That fits your hair, which, by the way, looks ni-"  
"Save the compliments, I'm not interested. I'm taken."  
"Oooh-"  
"Shut it, Yang."

'_W-what?!' _"Uh...wait, what? By who?" John looked confused, while his mind went back to all those other fanfics he read. '_Right, if I'm correct, her boyfriend will probably Jaune, who's going to act all douchey, and I get to show my mad skills with Ea to impress her. Oh man oh man oh man, I get to win over Weiss, my dreams have come-'_

"Jaune!"

'_I knew it.'_ The boy assumed that this was another one of those fanfics, where he had to prove himself by beating up Weiss' current jerk of a boyfriend to earn her love and respect. Little did he know...

Nodding eagerly to a confused Weiss, he responded."...got it. He's an asshole. I'm going to fight him for you. Don't worry, Weiss, we'll be together! I promise!" Before Weiss could get a word in edgewise, he ran off to find the poor guy, while Weiss sighed in exasperation. "Great, the poor kid's going to get owned by Jaune. JAUNE."  
"Hey, give Jaune some credit! I never knew someone could LEAP that far!"  
"Still..." Weiss sighed. "Poor idiot..."

* * *

"I have to...I have to find Jaune, and I have to beat him, for Weiss' sake! Dammit, we'll be together! This is a dream come true!" John looked eager to fight Jaune. He needed to, for the sake of his Weiss, and to prove his fighting skills; surely, after all, he was given Ea and had to know how to use it, right? Eventually, he spotted Jaune, who was speaking to Pyrrha, in the student lounge.

Fury boiled in his heart as he saw him. '_So, this bastard...this bastard's cheating on Weiss, huh? He deserves an asskicking! Son of a bitch!'_

"Hey, asshole!" He shouted over to Jaune, who looked confused. "Yeah, you! How dare you cheat on Weiss?!"

"Uh...wait, I was dating Weiss?"  
"Yeah, don't lie to Pyrrha! Don't worry, Pyrrha! I have this! I'll get rid of this asshole for you! You don't deserve Weiss! I'm going to have to wipe you out, because I LOVE her!" He drew Ea back with both hands, charging at Jaune. "ENUMA ELI-"  
"No." Suddenly, Ea was smashed out of his hands and he was knocked backwards by a large, serrated, chainsaw axe. He looked up, to see...Velvet.

"Wait, what?!"

"..." Velvet's eyelid twitched, as she looked down on John, her axe at the ready. "D-did you say you loved...W-Weiss-sempai?"  
"Yes, yes I did!"

"...W-Weiss-sempai...Weiss-sempai is MINE! MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE!" Velvet smiled adorably, as Grimmbane began to rev up. John's eyes widened.

"Oh god..."

"Uh...Velvet, let's calm down..." Pyrrha put a hand on her shoulder.  
"B-but...he wants to take Weiss-sempai away from me! I don't want him to!" Velvet pouted.

"Trust me..." Pyrrha nodded to the boy on the floor, who ran off, leaving Ea behind. He shook his head, hurriedly, hoping to find a way out of here, panicking.

"Shit...shit, no! I-if I have to deal with that...that GIRL...then...no, Weiss isn't worth it!"

He ran straight past Weiss and Yang, who instantly came to the same conclusion.

"Velvet?"  
"Velvet."

They watched as the boy fled into the gate of Beacon, vanishing as silently as he appeared, screaming. They sighed.

"So...I think we saw a self-insert today..."  
"Yep. I have pics!"  
"..." Weiss sighed. "...well, at least we know I'm safe. Dust knows Velvet will let ANYONE have me."

"Yeah..." Yang sighed. "I wonder why we couldn't have gotten one of the nicer self-inserts. Y'know, the ones who know they wouldn't stand a chance here and don't do stupid things?"  
"Indeed, like that one fanfiction...what was it...it was called Sleeping With The Girls?"  
"Oh, that one! I love that one!"  
"At least those self-inserts know their limits and aren't complete Sues. I was wondering why this one wasn't, though."  
"I dunno. Maybe he's just around as a parody."

"This is real life, not a fanfic, Yang."

"Maybe it IS a fanfic. You never know~"

* * *

"Who...was that jerk?" Jaune looked confused at Pyrrha, who shrugged. "I dunno."

"So...what were we talking about?"  
"Oh, right. Uh...Fegelein's antics would TOTALLY beat Hazama!"  
"No way, Hazama is the ultimate troll! Fegelein's a character from a film that got turned into a meme!" The pair argued their championed trickster, while Velvet ran off, muttering.

"Yet another self-insert tries to get at my Weiss-sempai...they should be thankful Pyrrha saved them..."

As Velvet ran to her dorm, she didn't notice the figure in the corridor. He had blue skin, with the typical ninja garb; black everything, right down to the mask and tabi. He sighed.

"...just how the hell does someone self-insert into MY story? That...doesn't work! Ah, well...at least I've got my safeguards if someone tries that again...after all, no Sue can get past the combined might of Velvet, Nora AND Kanji!Cardin." The blue-skinned ninja smirked.

"Ah, Velvet-chan, I have such plans for you... After all, the fans adore you. Maybe, just maybe, I'll even let you get Weiss in the end. Maybe.

Oh, look...time's up. The fans might be calling bullshit on me self-inserting. This is bad...uh...hm. I'll make it up to them eventually, I suppose. For now, though, Elf's out." With that, the figure disappeared, and Velvet peered around the corner, sneezing.

"Hm? I could have sworn I heard someone speaking. Sounded like...Elf-kun..."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: GUYS I AM SO SORRY FOR SELF INSERTING PLEASE FORGIVE ME #kidding**

**Before I wrap this up, I will say this; I acknowledge there are good self-insert fics out there. I'm parodying the horrible ones. So there.**

**Hm. Now I have that out of the way, Curtain Fics will be moved to the chapter after next. Next chapter will be...JNPR Reacts to Dear Fanfiction! Woo! Yeah!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your comments, reviews, suggestions, criticisms and thoughts, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	29. Special Chapter 10: Dear Fanfiction II!

JNPR Reacts to Dear Fanfiction!

**A/N: Right, the chapter you may or may not have been waiting for, the sequel to the first Dear Fanfiction chapter, featuring team JNPR! Yeah! Woo! Much thanks to Little Sun Dragon-Chan for letting me feature her fic a second time for this. Go read that instead, it's far better in so little words~**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would be a character based off of the Epic of Gilgamesh.**

**Dear Fanfiction belongs to Little Sun Dragon-Chan.**

* * *

_Previously, on RWBY Reacts to Dear Fanfiction!_

"_Dear Fanfiction...wait..."_

"_I'm not addicted to cookies!"_

"_THIS IS DELICIOUS!"_

"_WHY AM I CURSED TO FIND LITTLE TSUNDERE HEIRESSES CUTE AND LOVEABLE."_

"_Elf-kun, can I have a part in this one apart from breaking the fourth wall-"_

"_NO."_

"_AND WHO SAID I WAS A WHINY BITCH THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW ME"_

"_I RUB MY HAND OVER THEM WHILE SHE SLEEPS"_

"_AND I SWEAR IF ANYONE MENTIONS CATNIP I WILL END THEIR LIVES."_

_...but Blake's so fun to tease and hug..."_

"_This'll be interesting to see..."_

* * *

Jaune was lazily browsing the Dustnet, sighing. He was at a loss for anything to do today; Cardin was away on account of 'hiding evidence' or something, he didn't know, it probably had to do with Melanie or something, while the rest of his team was off doing their usual lollygagging; Nora and Ren were either kissing each other senseless in the lounge or studying in the library, and Pyrrha was off talking to Weiss about the latest development in the world of cupcakes; she loved cupcakes, for some reason.

He sighed. "Well then." He decided to go check his FanStories profile, in the hope of something interesting popping up; an updated story, review, new alert, anything. He encountered three new private messages.

The first was some random person; profile name ElfCollaborator- gushing about how much of a fan he was of Weiss and if he could get him in contact with Weiss or something. He immediately deleted it, writing the person off as a 'weirdo'.

The second one was from 'ScarleteenRabbit', Velvet's profile. This one was a request for him to beta a fanfic of hers, titled 'Snowcoated Rabbits'. Jaune immediately sensed something weird from it and decided to politely decline- "Something tells me it'll be a weird fic shipping her and Weiss- I swear, she's practically a family friendly Yuno..."- and go on to the third one.

"Hm? Little Sun Dragon-Sempai?" He recognized the username immediately as Yang's and clicked on it.

The text of the message read:

-Hey jauney boy listen i read this really funny fanfic just the other day and I thought you should read it and show it to ren and nora and that so yeah its really funny just read it

Its called dear fanfiction and its written by little sun dragon-chan (not mine, don't worry, although her name is awesome) its a bunch of letters written like its from you guys and its hilarious she even did me (oh my dust i love her so much)

Seriously though read it

-love, yang

ps. sorry for the bad grammar was in a hurry to get something done

"Dear Fanfiction?" He scratched his head. "Hm...I think Weiss was talking about that a while ago...hm." He nodded. I'll take a look at it. "Writing from our perspectives, huh? That sounds...interesting."

Jaune, curious to see this story, typed in the title and narrowed the search down to the RWBY fandom, spotting the fanfic.

"Well...here goes nothing." He clicked on the link and dove in.

* * *

Jaune chuckled, amused at the first couple of chapters. "Hehe...Ruby's so cute when she's flustered, and so's Weiss...although I'll speak for the sorbet thing." He nodded in agreement; Weiss WAS incredibly partial towards sorbet; not as much as she was towards frozen yoghurt- "I have a figure to keep, Arc!")- but she was indeed partial to the frozen dessert.

"Hm, Ninjas of Love isn't smut?" Jaune gasped in mock horror- it was practically an open secret that Blake read the series for its indecency, as its plot was practically non-existent. "And of COURSE Yang HAS to say she's so hot she burns..." He chuckled. "Not that it doesn't have any base in truth...this was pretty funny. Hm. I wonder if she did mine?" He browsed the chapter list idly, spotting his name and clicking on the chapter title.

"Let's see what they think I'd say..."

* * *

"I'm not a wimp!" He folded his arms defensively. "I'm perfectly brave! Yeah!" He snorted.

It was true- last week, he managed to approach a Rapier Wasp WITHOUT flinching. More to the point, since the Ursa incident with Cardin, he'd become braver and bolder- much to Ren's amusement, as this allowed him to take more embarrassing pictures of Jaune in bad situations he'd gotten himself into- indeed, Jaune still remembered the time when Ren had caught him covered in maple syrup with-

"Okay, okay, bad idea, brain, don't think bad thoughts..." He sighed, shaking his head. "Heh...I'm not that attractive...or, for that matter, set on thinking I'm that attractive...and I don't think Weiss denies it either...not like that, anyway. I think she got over it."

* * *

"JAUNE IS NOT AT ALL RIPPED AND I DON'T FIND THOSE JUICY ABS ATTRACTIVE AND I DON'T FIND HIM CUTE WHEN HE'S DRESSED LIKE SABER!"

"Uh...Weiss?"

"Yeah?"  
"Why did you say that?"

"Uh..." Weiss rubbed the back of her head. "I suppose I..." She blushed. Milly shrugged.

* * *

"Who said I have a pained and disturbing past? I had a perfectly normal past!" The blond boy looked confused.

His parents, after all, were completely normal parents for their world; a man who liked strutting around without a shirt, dressed in nothing but trousers and a cloak, shouting various hot-blooded sayings and a scantily dressed woman with a penchant for lugging around large rifles- he even noted their similarity to Kamina and Yoko once, but, as they were both blondes, in the former's case, not dead, and in the latter's case, not traumatized by losing several people she cared about, and not commandeering mecha, he shrugged it off. They were fun people, if a bit eccentric; and complete badasses, to boot. They were Arcs, after all.

Indeed, the reason he'd snuck into Beacon was, very simply, he'd sucked at being a Huntsman in his old school- Jaune felt that disappointing his father wasn't going to go down well, and at the time, he viewed it as the only way he could make it up to him. However, Ozpin, after finding out, let him stay, seeing potential in the young man, and he'd proven himself time after time...

...and, of course, his dad came in. Needless to say, "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK MY SON IS?!" followed Jaune around for weeks, and the headmaster decided to let Jaune stay after several hours of the same.

Shaking his head at the thought of his dad, Jaune smirked at the next couple of sentences. "Hehe...I don't have a thing for redheads...after all, Pyrrha and I are just friends-"

* * *

Pyrrha sighed dreamily, looking at a picture of her beloved Jaune.

"...why do you never notice me, Jaune-kun~"

* * *

"-Ruby's cute and all, but she's into Weiss-"

"...hm...I wonder what being with Weiss and Jaune would be like." Ruby murmured to herself as she read through Weiss' yaoi manga for the umpteenth time.

* * *

"-and I'm not interested in Nora. That's...practically it, I think?" He nodded. "Yeah, that's it. I'm kinda flattered that the fans think I'm the king of harems, but seriously, guys.

Guys. I'm nothing like the greats; Minato Arisato, Tenchi, Tsukune...no way am I like them, no way. Hell, I can't even match Ranma..." Jaune chuckled goodnaturedly at the notion of him gathering a harem.

"But seriously, me and REN?! WHO SHIPS THAT?!"

* * *

"Yep, those two need to be together. Not as much as him, Weiss and Rubes, mind, but I need me some boy-on-boy action." Yang smirked to herself and sat herself in front of the computer.

Cackling evilly to herself, the girl began typing out the smuttiest and most vividly described yaoi fanfiction between Ren and Jaune.

* * *

"And me with Velvet? Everyone knows she's all obsessed over Weiss...that'd never work. Even if she liked me...I don't think that'd be a good thing." He shuddered at the thought of having Velvet on his tail instead of Weiss'...

Needless to say, his thoughts ended with Velvet possibly chopping his head off for hanging out with Pyrrha. He shuddered. "...heh...but I know Velvet's nothing like that...thank Dust, too..." He chuckled nervously, hoping that Velvet wasn't around to hear him say that. Sighing in relief, he read on to the last part of the chapter.

"Heh, ladies do like the onesie..." Jaune blushed a bit, before deciding to leave his thoughts about the story.

* * *

From: **ArturiaOfArc**

Kinda flattered about this. Thanks, this really made my day!

Although...you could've covered less about my ships... I mean, half of the chapter was about my ships. Am I really that shippable? I wish I really was like that in real life...

So, yeah, good work. By the way, if you've met Little Sun Dragon-Sempai, that's Yang; she told me about this story too, so nice work impressing us.

-Jaune Arc

* * *

Satisfied, Jaune felt his stomach rumble.

"Oh...hm...I might need to get some snacks..." Nodding to himself, he picked up his coat and slung it on, before striding out of JNPR dorm...

* * *

...Just in time for Nora to walk in, holding yet another Melanie doll to her chest. The sounds of Cardin's flustered shouting could be heard behind her.

"VALKYRIE COME BACK HERE WITH THAT DOLL DAMMIT" Nora stayed behind the door, hearing his heavy footsteps storm past her door, and only let herself calm down when the footsteps had faded off into the distance. Sighing in relief, Nora threw the doll into her dresser, alongside various sloth dolls and wiping her brow of sweat.

"Now that was fun!" Smiling cheerily, she spotted something interesting on Jaune's computer. "Oooh, fanfic!" Nora rushed over to read it. "Oh, is this that thing Yang was talking about? And...and there's a chapter about me?! MUST READ. NOW." Sitting down, she flipped through the chapter list to find hers, before reading it.

"Hm..." She rubbed her chin. "I'm not crazy! I'm crazy awesome! Hmph. Some people just don't understand that the sloths made ME their divine representative upon Remnant. Such fools." She folded her arms, before reading more of the letter.

* * *

"Why, thank you, I AM bubbly and likeable. Ren seems to think so...and is that REN in this chapter? YAAAAAY!" She cheered, before reading closer. "Hmmm...I wonder how they found out he said no sugar for me...did Ren say something?" Nora gasped. "Oh my Dust, is there a camera somewhere? No way!" She turned the dorm upside down for a hidden camera; under the bed, under Pyrrha and Jaune's beds, under the closet, under the giant sloth doll she kept in the corner, under Jaune's Saber costume, but nothing. Sighing in relief, she went back to reading.

"Well, good to know nobody's stalking me. The sloths wouldn't like that..." She shuddered. "...and Ren DOES want to have my babies~ I'm adorable, after all! Who wouldn't want to have my babies~"

Nora giggled. "Oooh, what would having kids with Ren be like? I bet our daughters would be completely awesome and sloth loving and our sons would be all like Ren; cool and silent and aloof and so adorable...hm...

I think I told Ren we planned on having six children. Did I? I think I did."

* * *

"Heh." Ren chuckled good-naturedly at Ruby. "No, one kid's enough."  
"But Nora said you'd be having six!" Ruby responded, innocently.  
"Wait, WHAT?!" Ren looked at her, eyes wide. When DID Nora say that?!

"Yeah! She said she'd name them all Lelouch, Nunnally, Euphe-"  
"NORA WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PLANNING?!"

* * *

"Hm...Ursai are cute...hm...unless we're talking about like, Volibear's tribe, not the Grimm...hm...although Voli against an Ursa would be pretty awesome!" The girl giggled as she read some more. "Breaking people's legs isn't just a hobby for me, though. I'm a professional leg-breaker! One day I'll even have a card, saying 'Nora Valkyrie, Leg-Breaker at Law'!"

Chuckling, she then read the final portion of the chapter, which she responded to by laughing out loud. "So people DO see us together! Hmph! Eat it, Weiss! I KNEW people shipped me and Ren together!

All part of my devious plan..." Nora cackled evilly, before reverting to her normal self. "And I AM THE QUEEN OF THE CASTLE! And not on drugs. No way. No; drugs are bad. BAD.

Not the Sloth Queen, though, no, I just listen to them when they need me. For I am vengeance. I am the night.

I am...Slothgirl."

* * *

From: **SlothLoverBacongirl**

Totes made my day! ^^ Love you!

Oh and by the way this is Nora just so you know and Ren's cute and HE'S MINE

-Nora

* * *

Nora, being Nora, decided that the best way to exit JNPR dorm was to jump out of the window, shouting "SLOTHGIRL!"...

...before colliding into Blake, who'd fallen from the sky AGAIN.

"Ow! Oh, hey, Blake...uh..."  
"Dammit, that drill didn't work! I thought using Ea would pierce the heavens and make Kamina-san proud!" Blake sighed. "...I'll just have to use a bigger drill...at least Ea's gone...so that Velvet can't use it to blow us up or something...

...hope it doesn't hit someone on the head, though..."  
Nora scratched her head. "Uh, what are you talking about?"

"Nothing."

* * *

Gilgamesh was screaming in the middle of Fuyuki City. He was missing his beloved weapon, Ea, and he was, to say the least, irritated.

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY DRILL?! WHAT KIND OF MONGREL STOLE IT FROM ME?! I AM GILGAMESH, KING OF HEROES! HOW DARE SOME MONGREL STEAL IT FROM ME-"

...before he was knocked unconscious by Ea clonking him on the head.

* * *

Pyrrha strolled into the dorm, munching a cupcake. The icing had gotten itself all over her face and mouth; the effect would be called cute, had Jaune or anyone else been there. The markswoman sat down at the computer desk, reading what was on the screen, curious.

"Oh, this fic." She wiped the icing off her mouth, nodding. "Weiss was talking about this...interesting concept, writing letters to the fandom from our perspective...I wonder if...if they pair me with...J-Jaune-kun..." She blushed at the thought of her foolish, bumbling, cute, handsome, funny dunce of a leader; yes, she called him a dunce. She found the name cute. Shaking her head, she sighed.

"...n-not like he'll ever notice me..." Pyrrha frowned. "...eh, I've got nothing to worry about. My cupcakes will never leave me. Cupcakes are my friends." Smiling to herself, while simultaneously slapping herself for talking like a complete idiot, she looked into the chapter list for her name, already knowing she'd be on it.

* * *

"Hm. Launching Cardin into the Emerald Forest? Noted...if he gets near MY Jaune-kun ever again. Which I doubt. After all, he learnt his lesson with that Ursa incident...hmph. As if he thought those Rapier Wasps would hurt me...I'm immune to their venom." Pyrrha chuckled. "Fighting like that only during a battle, huh..." She chuckled.

"Yeah...about that..." Pyrrha reminisced about the various times she'd propelled various members of various teams into ceilings and walls using her Semblance in training; indeed, a dent had been labelled 'For Pyrrha' on the wall of the training arena with large arrows pointing to it, in order to make sure she aimed for that instead of destroying even more sections of wall.

She wasn't planning on launching Cardin into the forest anyway, she'd done it enough in the arena.

"Not having a crush on Jaune-kun like a love-struck schoolgirl? Hehehehehe...a-about that..." She blushed; it was even clearer she fancied her team leader than Blake being a Faunus for the two weeks at the beginning of their stay at Beacon she hid her status, and even more obvious that she'd be jealous about him hanging out with Weiss.

Not that she'd do anything, after all. It would make Jaune sad, and Pyrrha didn't want that. She would stoop to Velvet's depths; she was no yandere.

"Hmph. I won't hurt anyone who goes near J-Jaune-kun...as long as they ask him nicely and treat him nicely...

Weiss better hope she doesn't hurt Jaune-kun. I'll be very disappointed if she does...and who dares say I'm a distressed damsel? I'll set Velvet-chan on them. That'll teach them.

I've read enough of those fanfics to know that those usually end with me and Jaune-kun...n-not that I mind...but I'd like to think I wasn't the...damsel..." Pyrrha nodded to herself. "And I w-wouldn't go all motherly on J-Jaune-kun! No, he has Yok-I mean, Madame Arc for that already! Dammit, why does his mother act and look like Yoko so much?" She sighed. "...and damn straight he's mine. I just need to figure out how to convince people he is.

For now, though, Weiss can have her crush on Jaune. For now." She giggled to herself.

Oh, the plots running through Pyrrha's head were stunning indeed.

* * *

From: **AftermansSpearmaiden**

Excellent quality fanfiction. It is quite short and to the point, but that doesn't detract from its quality; indeed, I applaud your ability to deliver such comical and in-character responses with so little content. Congratulations.

PS- If anyone goes after my Jaune-kun it's on you, k?

-Sincerely, Pyrrha Nikos

* * *

Satisfied, Pyrrha went to take a nap in Jaune's bed, muttering "Jaune-kun" softly to herself...

...just as Ren stormed into the dorm.

"DAMMIT NORA WE ARE NOT NAMING OUR KIDS AFTER CODE GEASS CHARACTERS. OKAY, MAYBE I'LL ALLOW EUPHEMIA, BUT LELOUCH?! HE'LL GET LAUGHED AT!" Ranting, Ren didn't notice that not only was his girlfriend not there, but a sleeping Pyrrha was nearby. Sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, the gunslinger calmed down and took a seat by the computer, reading the screen.

"Dear Fanfiction? Yang was talking about this a couple of weeks back..." He nodded, thinking carefully and skipping to his chapter.

"I wonder what the fans have to say about me?" He chuckled to himself as he read it.

* * *

"I am NOT serious." He shook his head. "I'm trying to follow in the paths of the trolling greats; Hazama, Fegelein, Loki..." Ren chuckled to himself; he still remembered the time he'd written a deliberately smutty White Rose fanfic just to listen to Weiss' reaction to it- an inevitably denial-filled rant about how it was unrealistic and she'd never love Ruby like that. Of course, Weiss being Weiss, her attraction to her young team leader was clear as daylight.

Still chuckling, he read through the chapter. "Ah, yes, pairing me with Nora. I believe it's a little too late to tell people to stop that..." He smirked. "And, of course our showering arrangement...is fairly...exciting, to say the least." With a smirk denoting more...indecent things, he continued reading.

"Me and Jaune? Hmph. I don't find him attractive. Cute, in a Saber costume? Maybe. But I would never consider him. No.

Nora's the only one for me. These fans seem to be in need of a reality check, don't they?" He nodded. "And...who the hell is Monty Oum?" Ren sneezed. "Is he that awesome filmmaker who made Dead Fantasy? And is working on that one Rooster Teeth series...that I can't quite remember? Hm...I dunno." He sighed. "Maybe. Why would people think I'm him, though? Anyway..."

The gunslinger read the 'please see' note attached to the end, and a smile grew on his face. "Ah, I don't dress in a maid outfit for Nora, oh no...I dress in sloth costumes for her.

The things I do for love..." Shaking his head, he decided that the fanfic was worthy of his thoughts.

* * *

From: **JadeDragonMonk**

Well done.

-Lie Ren

* * *

Ren, having left the most comprehensive review of a fanfic he'd ever done, sat back and relaxed, enjoying the afternoon; he'd talk to Nora later about their future children, he'd decided.

Or, at least, until Yang dropped in.

"Two tickets to the Matrix trilogy midnight showing in Vale, you're coming with me and there's NOTHING you can do about it."

Ren sighed.

"Well...that ended quickly."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Got that over with. Woo. NOW it shall be Weiss Reacts to Curtain Fics next chapter. **

**On other news, a shout out to Little Sun Dragon-Chan for letting me feature her fic again! Seriously go read it, it's far better, and in far less words, too~**

**Also, in other, OTHER news, the next chapter line-up's been unveiled. It shall be Weiss Reacts to Fans and...a surprise chapter! Le gasp! What story shall I feature next? Who knows? Even I don't! You'll just have to wait until next chapter!  
**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your suggestions, thoughts, reviews, criticisms, and ideas, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	30. Weiss Reacts to RWBY Fans!

**Weiss Reacts to RWBY Fans!**

**A/N: Welcome back, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Woo! Now with more antics and insanity! Yeah! Stuffs! Oh and happy thirtieth chapter! Curtain Fics as a chapter has been scrapped, due to the resulting chapter NOT being up to my usual standards, so I apologise. In exchange, you'll be getting a reaction from her to her fans AND the replacement chapter will be...Weiss Reacts to Video Games!**

**Also, the surprise chapter will now be revealed; Weiss Reacts to Pyrrha(c) Victory by The Rogue King! A shout out to you for letting me write about it, and the chapter will come within the Easter holidays.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Slothism would be a real religion in it.**

* * *

Weiss was browsing through the Dustnet, bored. As usual, her friends were mucking around; Yang was off somewhere- plotting another antic, no doubt- while Blake was reading the twenty-fifth Ninjas of Love book- "This one is the most highly reviewed in the series! How dare you say this is nothing but useless smut?!"- and Ruby was, judging from the sounds coming from her bunk, babbling useless cookie-related nonsense.

The heiress herself felt like this was one of those boring days; the days when nobody would be doing anything of interest.

"A quiet day indeed...too quiet." Weiss sighed. "Xiao Long will probably ruin it with her antics. Or Ren. Or Belladonna."

At least, most days seemed quiet before one of Yang's antics ruined it, or Ren trolled her, or Nora showed up, or Ruby demonstrated her love for Weiss by way of applying glomps to her constantly...or Pyrrha decided to talk to her about Jaune; the topic of JNPR's leader seemed to be constantly on her friend's mind lately, and Weiss couldn't figure out why. Either way, SOMETHING would happen that would ruin the quiet.

"One of those dunces will get up to some sort of antic. Hmph. I just want to have a normal day for a change." Weiss shook her head and continued reading.

Little did she know...

* * *

Elsewhere in Beacon...

Velvet tapped her whiteboard with her marker to make sure she'd gotten the plan right. "Right, so, if I throw the shark plushie here when Weiss-sempai is going for her daily sorbet, and time it JUST right so Mel-chan doesn't see it, Weiss-sempai SHOULD go for the plushie and my superior patented tsundere traps will catch her, netting me the catch of a lifetime!"

She giggled to herself insanely. Ever since her LAST plan to nab her beloved heiress failed, the bunnygirl had been working on various plans, schemes and scenarios based off of capturing Weiss for herself. Inwardly, Velvet punched herself for not collecting Ea from the floor when that foolish joke of a suitor for Weiss had dropped it; such reality warping power could've been useful for catching Weiss. Sighing, Velvet simply picked up her bottle of maple syrup and her hastily constructed 'tsundere traps'; very simply, a very large Ruby doll with clamps to trap Weiss when she inevitably hugged it, with glue laid inside the cuffs to keep the unfortunate victim in.

"Hehehe...nobody can resist a moeblob...not even Weiss-sempai..." Velvet wrung her hands quickly. "I don't understand why she won't l-love me...but it won't matter. Soon, she'll be ALL mine, and there's NOTHING anyone can do about it! Wahahahaha!" Velvet looked to the sky, clasping her hands together.

"May the almighty Gasai-sensei look kindly upon this plan...and may Weiss-sempai be mine and mine alone~"

* * *

"What's this? Weiss Reacts has been updated?" Weiss sighed. "Perfect. That ElfCollaborator seems to be up to more antics...tch, peasant." She chuckled. "I wonder what these fools have to say about this silly antic-filled story?" Chuckling, Weiss opened the reviews, scrolling through.

"...these fools want to see me react to...what in the name of the moon is RWBYQuest? And what, might I ask, is the Macarena?"

"EEEEEY MACARENA-"

"Shut it, Ruby. Your singing's horrible."

"Awww~"

"What a dunce...a cute, adorable dunce, but a dunce..." Weiss shook her head. "...and why are these peasants so insistent on getting me to react to this 'Red versus Blue'? What IS that?"  
"Isn't it that Rooster Teeth series?" Blake chimed in.

"Bah. These madmen." She shook her head. "...and of course, these people seem to be...endorsing Velvet's madness?! What is this?! WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE ENDORSING HER MADNESS?!"

"Aaaand here we go." Blake sighed and slumped back into her bunk, looking for her phone to take pictures of Weiss' inevitable rampage.

"WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE ROOTING FOR VELVET?!"

* * *

Velvet skipped along happily, dragging the trapped Ruby doll and her SCPouch behind her. She passed by Cardin, who was carrying, from what Velvet could see, carnations.

"Hey, Cardin-kun."  
"H-hey, Velvet..." Cardin sounded flustered.

"Uh, what's wrong? Something happen? Who're those flowers for? Are they for Weiss-sempai? You aren't-"  
"Yes! I mean, no! Gah! Dammit!" The boy grumbled. "Dammit, I dunno how to do this..."  
"Eh? What's wrong?" Velvet tilted her head.

"It's just that...I...uh...Melanie...dammit, Cardin, speak words!" He cursed, before sighing and mastering himself, shaking his head. "L-listen, you won't tell Melanie I got this for her, right?" He motioned to the flowers he brought for her, and Velvet nodded. "Sure. I won't tell her. You don't want me to tell Milly either, right?"  
"Yeah. T-thanks..." Cardin blushed. "It's just...hard, y'know? For the longest time, I had the biggest crush on Weiss, then on...you..."  
'_If you still have a crush on my Weiss-sempai, Beaufort, I don't care HOW nice you are, you're going to have to get out of my way~!' _Velvet thought to herself, before responding. "Ah...did you?"  
"Well...I dunno, okay? It was just...a thing. I dunno! I'm bad with feelings! Hey...listen...what do you advise I do to get with Melanie?"  
"Uh...stalk her!"  
"Stalk her?" Cardin looked confused.

"Yeah! I mean, you follow them around, you figure out what they like and you get it for them! Simple, right?"  
"I...suppose." Cardin scratched his head. "Well, uh, I'll see you around, Velvet." He walked off, presumably to the Malachites' dorm. Velvet waved at him. "Goodbye, Cardin-kun!" When she was sure he was out of earshot and nobody was there to hear her, she resumed walking, mumbling to herself.

"Good. If that fool had interfered with my plan...I believe I would have had to dispose of him..."

* * *

"AND WHY, OH WHY ARE THESE FOOLS SO INTERESTED IN WATCHING MY REACTION TO MUNDANE THINGS?! I UNDERSTAND THAT THIS...PEASANT...WRITES ME SO WELL, BUT HOW DARE HE?!"

"Weiss..." Ruby was too busy trying not to overload with the sight of a flustered, embarrassed and irritated Weiss- the sight was too moe for a girl like her to resist, so Ruby responded by shoving her face into a pillow and squealing. Blake was simply sitting back, snapping pictures lazily.

"AND MORE OF THESE VELVET LOVERS! I THOUGHT THIS FANFIC WAS ABOUT ME!"  
"You still have fans outside this fanfic, you know." Blake sighed. "Who do you think writes most of the fanfic about you?"  
"..." Weiss sighed. "Fine...let's see what these other peasants have to say about me...but I swear, these dunces do not understand me! I am NOT a tsundere! And I do NOT have a secret crush on Ruby!"

Blake smirked enigmatically, while Ruby continued squealing.

"What?! I'm not lying! Belladonna?!"  
"...I'll take your word for it."

"J-just shut up! Idiot!"

* * *

"...WHY AM I A TSUNDERE?! WHAT DON'T YOU PEOPLE GET? I DO NOT HAVE SECRET FEELINGS FOR THAT DUNCE ARC OR THAT NOT AT ALL MOE IDIOT ROSE!" Weiss shrieked; she'd skimmed several fanfics written by her fans and had come to the conclusion that they were insane and needed a reality check.

"Sure, Weiss, sure." Blake responded; Ruby still hadn't stopped for breath in her squealing into a pillow. "Even though you fit the archetype perfectly, you fervently deny your love for either of them, you blush and turn away at the mention of their name, and you secretly have pictures of t-"  
"I DO NOT HAVE SECRET PICTURES OF JAUNE'S ABS, OKAY?!" Weiss blushed, turning away from Blake. "AND I DON'T LOVE HIM. OR RUBY."

"Got it." Blake smirked. "Oh, and by the way, you should check out the fanart too. That'll REALLY interest you."

Weiss, not knowing how to respond, did so.

"...firstly, I do NOT trail snowflakes behind me when I'm sad and, of course, as these idiotic fans insinuate, run to Ruby for emotional comfort! Secondly, I do NOT have a 'fetish' for Ruby and her lookalikes! That's stupid! Thirdly...I do NOT understand why you people assume I'm a spoiled brat!"  
"You kinda were-"  
"Shut up, Belladonna! I'm not spoiled! I am merely pampered!"

And why, just WHY is this...why is this drawing of me and Jaune...no, just no! Jaune is NOT my type! Neither is Ruby!

I don't even like Ruby! I don't even like GIRLS!"

* * *

Somewhere, Yang broke out in laughter.

* * *

"Dammit...DAMMIT!" She shrieked. "These fans...they're crazy! How can they think I have a crush on Ruby, or Jaune, or anyone of these dunces?! And how am I a tsundere?! I have no problem denying a lie, is there a problem with that?!

And moreover, just why are these people so desperate to see Velvet catch me?!"

"...because you DO have a crush on Ruby and Jaune, you ARE a tsundere, and Velvet being a yandere is hilarious?"

"...Shut up."  
"Heh."

"My fans are insane."

"I know." Blake smirked mischievously. The amount of teasing she'd get on Weiss today-  
"You should see yours. The amount of shipping of you and Yang-"  
"WHAT IS THIS" Blake jumped out of her bunk and to Weiss' side, watching the monitor. Weiss smirked, showing her some...steamy fanart of her and Yang.

"...I believe it not."  
"It's there!"  
"...these fools. I do NOT have a crush on Yang." Blake folded her arms. "I find her to be a funny girl, an excellent friend to be around, a warm, friendly, cute..._beautiful..._girl...to be around...but I do not have a crush on her. Don't be silly."

"Of course you don't, Blake." Weiss smirked. This was her chance to get Blake back for all the times she'd been teased by Blake about her crushes; she would never, ever, EVER let this go.

"...besides...I..." The catgirl looked around nervously for any sign of Yang, before continuing. "...have an interest in Jaune."

"...what?!" The heiress' eyes widened.  
"...I don't understand why, j-just..." Blake blushed. "...I like him, okay? I don't know why, I need to know why. Don't you DARE say a word of this to Yang."

"...noted, Belladonna."

"...and I don't like Yang that way."  
"Got it."  
"And these fans are fools. I wouldn't just...I wouldn't just turn into a child when exposed to a ball of yarn! Neither would I go into heat! I'm not a cat! I have a perfectly normal adolescent sex drive!"

"...yeah...sure...like those Yang dreams...all the moaning and the-"  
"Shut it, Schnee." Blake glared at her. "You say ONE word to Yang. ONE word."

"...got it~" The heiress enjoyed this; firstly she figured out that Blake liked Jaune and Yang and now she had both that AND the indecent dreams Blake seemed to have about Yang...

This was fun; for once to be the blackmailer rather than the blackmailed.

* * *

Velvet had set up the trap and the bait; a shark plushie in the path to the sorbet vending machine from RWBY dorm, with a small lead that when tugged, would pull the plushie- and its holder- to the right of the machine and into the Ruby doll. Weiss would then try to pull the plushie out or hug 'Ruby', which would activate the clamps, pull the doll up to the vents where Velvet was hiding.

It was ingenious, really.

"Yesssss~" She wrung her hands again. "Maybe this time...this time Weiss-sempai will be MINE!"

* * *

Blake chuckled, shaking her head. "Yang's fans are insane."

"Indeed."

"Seriously, why would Yang's fans draw her taking you in the janit-"  
"Okay, stop." Blake blushed. "W-we don't need to go into that deep detail!"

"...Jaune's fans are craziest, though. Seriously, making his parents abusive?"

"...I swear his parents are Yoko and Kamina-san...or look like them. They seemed like quite nice people."  
"...okay, who the hell are Yoko and Kamina, and secondly, they seemed quite hot-blooded and eccentric."

Blake smirked. "...foolish girl...hasn't even watched it yet..."

Weiss shook her head, confused, before continuing. "And Jaune, a harem king? Hah! Fat chance!"  
"Yes, indeed, Weiss. He's only won over, like, myself, you, Pyrrha, half of the girls in the student body, even _Cinder and Ren_...-"

"...touché, Belladonna. Touché."

"Ruby's fans..." Weiss shuddered. "Why would they ship her with a BEOWULF?!"

"I dunno. Some people are just into that kinda thing." Blake shrugged.

"And Ozpin, seriously?!"  
"...I always thought Ozpin had it bad for Goodwitch."  
"Also...seriously, why do SOME people think she's a Grimm? True, she's got the appetite and eyes of one, but she's not a Grimm!"  
"Do you concur with cookie addiction, though?"  
"Yeah, I do." Weiss nodded. "Seriously, though, some random guy called Monty Oum said she liked strawberries. Hmph. How could he get her wrong? For Dust's sake, her love of cookies is apparently plastered over half the Dustnet!"

Blake snorted.

* * *

Ren sneezed.

"Did someone just say my name again?"

"Ssshhh!"

* * *

"Pfft, Ruby, a lesbian."

"Yeah, indeed. She's more Weiss-sexual."

"S-shut up."

"It's true."

"Yes, and you're apparently attracted to blonde dunces with a penchant for stupidity."

Blake sighed. "Touché, Schnee. Touché. But, can we at LEAST agree Velvet's fans are the most insane?"  
"Yes." Weiss nodded. Seriously, Velvet's a yandere and they treat her like she's some sort of cute, shrinking violet girl! It's like they saw her with no personality or something!"

"Tis the beauty of one scene wonders."  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"Nothing." Blake whistled innocently.

"...and why are these fans so in love with the idea of RWBYSona?"  
"Well, Shadows and Grimm are both dark, shadowy creatures with a penchant for wearing masks, the main characters are all teenagers, you act like Yukari and Cardin acts like Kanji, Jaune's a blond Yosuke..."

"...who the hell are these people?"  
"...go watch some TV. Yukari's on a show, y'know. You met her, did you already forget?"  
"Oh, right, that convention." Weiss shrugged. "Pfft, I doubt that's really her. Besides, there's NO way someone like her did all that. She didn't even have Huntress training. No way."

"Yeah, okay, I'll let you think that."

"It's almost like some weirdo's writing this and has a Persona fetish or something..." Weiss shuddered. "Anyway, how the hell do I act like her?"  
"You act defensive half the time, you're practically a loveable alpha bitch, you-"  
"I AM NOT A BITCH, BLAKE."  
"Just saying."

"I...okay, you know what, I need a break." Weiss sighed. "Go...theorize about toku actresses being game characters elsewhere, I need my sorbet.

Also, my fans- most of our fans, in fact, are crazy. CRAZY, I'll say." With that, she walked outside, shutting the door. Blake sighed.

"...I didn't even get to Nora's fans. Slothism seems like an...interesting religion.

* * *

Weiss walked down to the sorbet vending machine, sighing.

"My fans are insane. Completely and utterly insane. I don't understand how people deal with this!"

She was JUST about to see the shark plushie when suddenly, Pyrrha appeared. "Hello, Weiss."  
"Oh, hey, Pyrrha!"

"Listen, Weiss..." Pyrrha seemed embarassed. "A-are you busy?"  
"No..." Weiss tilted her head. "Why?"

Pyrrha blushed. "Well...uh...it's about...Jaune..." '_Dammit, Pyrrha, you HAVE to tell her you want Jaune-kun to yourself!' _The girl thought to herself.

"Oh. Did he do something stupid again?"

"Uh...j-just follow me, okay?"  
"Uhuh..." Weiss followed Pyrrha, down to the sorbet vending machine, and turned left instead.

* * *

"What?! No!" Velvet panicked.

* * *

At least...until Pyrrha heard something click under her foot.

"Wha-" Those were the last words out of her mouth before a large pillow swung from in front of her and smacked her in the face. "Mmph!" Weiss stepped aside, squeaking a bit in surprise, as Pyrrha stumbled back, eyes closed.

She then tripped on to the lead to the plushie, which sent her flying into the Ruby doll, the clamps activating just as soon as she landed on the doll, which was dragged up- squirming Pyrrha included, into the vents, where Pyrrha was beset upon by Velvet glomping her.

"Oh, Weiss-sempai~"  
"Velvet-chan?!"

"P-Pyrrha-sempai?!"

"...I changed my mind. Beacon's more insane than my fans. At least they can't hurt me...yet..." Weiss sighed and walked back to the sorbet machine, taking her frozen treat and walking back to her dorm.

This would be a long day.

* * *

Somewhere nearby...

Yang muttered "Dammit!" at her failure. She'd set ALL of that up just to prank Weiss, and then Pyrrha just had to get in the way...

"...I WILL get you, Weiss. Dammit, Pyrrha...just dammit. You had to have your Jaune troubles..."  
Ren sat nearby, scribbling down notes. "This is excellent story material, Yang."

"I know~ I'm awesome like that~"  
"The prank was a bit off, though. I would rather you rigged the sorbet machine to launch out globs of sorbet at Weiss, than have the pressure plate-ceiling pillow trick." Ren nodded.

Yang nodded eagerly. "As the master of antics wishes."

She had much to learn from Ren, and Ren, her superior in the world of pranking, trolling and antic-making, merely smirked,

"You have much to learn, my student."

The brawler smiled enigmatically. "That's what you think."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Well, that was a thing! Back into your pen now, your rabble of madmen and madwomen you~ I count myself among the madmen and madwomen :3**

**So, now that that's done, next chapter; Weiss Reacts to Video Games! Featuring more shameless Yukari cameos! And shameless shilling of some silly games! And Weiss!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, please leave your criticisms, thoughts, suggestions, reviews and ideas, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time...**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

* * *

**...Surprise stinger.**

Later that night...

Yang snuck out of bed, in the dead of night, while the rest of her team was asleep. Creeping across to the bookshelf, she moved aside several of Weiss' yaoi manga and Ruby's cookie cookbooks, locating...

A tiny button camera, installed in there, ordered recently from DustBay. Yang smirked. She'd heard every last thing that went on, and seen everything inside the dorm.

"So, Blake loves me and Jaune, and Weiss loves Rubes and Jaune..." Yang licked her lips in anticipation. The teasing material had been pouring in for a while during her tutelage under the mighty troll Ren, and so she would use these bits of information well.

"Antics ahoy, ladies and gents."

* * *

**TRUE END**


	31. Weiss Reacts to Starbound!

**Weiss Reacts to Video Games: Starbound!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts, once again! Woo! Yeah! Stuff! Because there are SO many video games I want to have Weiss-chan react to, I've decided to roll a dice to decide which game I'll be featuring today. The result...you lucky gents get to see Weiss React to...Starbound! Woo!**

**By the way, a HUGE shout out to Little Sun Dragon-Chan for doing a Velvet chapter over in Dear Fanfiction! She even dedicated it to me! :3 I feel so honored... So, in her honor, Yang's antics from now on are dedicated to her.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Yang would be the master of antics for reals.**

**Starbound belongs to Chucklefish. Any and all mentioned mods belong to their respective creators.**

* * *

"...what, precisely, is this, Yang?" Weiss looked at the screen, confused. On the monitor was a game Weiss didn't recognize; the title screen said 'Starbound', with several options, and the view was of a green planet in the foreground, with the stars shining bright in the background. Admittedly, it looked good, but what was it, precisely?

"Just a little fun game. It's kinda like a sandbox game, set in space, where you can pick from five races, and you have a ship and you can build stuff and explore planets and everything. Basically, fun times!"

Weiss remained unconvinced. "...explain, Xiao Long. Why do you want me to play this?" The heiress sensed something was up. This was Yang, after all, why wouldn't she have something up her sleeve.

"Oh, I dunno, I just wanted to play with you!" She put on a half-jokingly offended pout. "Besides, Weiss, it won't kill you to play with me! I just want to, y'know, build and explore with you! And besides, Jaune, Pyrrha and Milly are playing, too! Oh, and Rubes.

So you can, like, have cybersex or-"  
"Yang!" Weiss blushed. Yang smirked.

"Just saying~"

"...i-idiot." Weiss pressed "Play Game" and looked at the character selection, before clicking on a blank space. "...hang on a minute. Aren't there only FIVE races in the game?"  
"Ah," Yang smirked. "I installed a couple of mods on the server AND on your copy. Don't worry, I didn't inject any shenanigans into them~ That's more Blake's speed."

"Uhuh." Weiss looked through the list. "The Avians look cute...the Glitch look...off...hm...the Avali? Fluffy space raptors...hm...I suppose these look fluffy enough. I'll take the Avali."

"Aww~ So Weiss likes cute things~Not hard to see, considering you have the biggest crush on Rubes~"

"S-SHUT UP!"

Yang smirked, giggling.

* * *

Shortly after, Weiss joined Yang's server. She was playing an Avali, by the name of 'Lord Fluffy the Terrible' – "It is an EXCELLENT name!", she retorted to Yang's laughter"- and had poked around the ship to see what she could do.

"So...I get a landing pod, a free...broken sword?! What is this?!"  
"Uh...you kinda have to start from scratch..."  
"WHY?! I'M A SPACEFARING FLUFFY RAPTOR! I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET A LASER BLASTER OR SOMETHING!"

"...it's a beta?" Yang shrugged, before returning on her own computer. Weiss saw Pyrrha, Jaune, and Milly walk into the room, with their laptops at hand. Ruby waved at her from behind them.

"Oh, hey guys!" Yang waved at them, before turning to Weiss. "Oh, by the way, Rubes is PetiteFilleRouge, Jaune's Arturia Pendragon, Pyrrha's Rise K, and Mils here is Absurdly Dapper Lolita."

"You?"

"You'll see when I get on~ I have a genius name~"

"Uhuh. Also, Rise K and Arturia? Seriously?"

Jaune and Pyrrha shrugged. Milly squeed. "Seriously, you called yourself Rise?!"  
"Uhuh...I'm a Risette fan, why?"  
"That's so awesome!"

"I hope there aren't any shenanigans..." Weiss muttered.  
"Uhuh. Get playing."

"Okay..."

* * *

Shortly, Weiss went mining and woodcutting with Ruby, who was using a red-feathered female Avian. Pyrrha and Jaune had characters who looked like the genderbent version of King Arthur and the famous pop idol respectively, while Milly had a red dress with a top hat, and Yang was playing as a race called a 'Nephilim'- "Half angel, half man. Just like moi~"- named, predictably "YangWantsHuggles".

"Okay, Ruby, what do I do?" Weiss called over to Ruby.

"Right, stick with me and start trying to take down that tree. You have a matter manipulator, right?"  
"Yeah..." Weiss then proceeded to attempt to cut down the tree with the advanced futuristic device...

"...WHY CAN'T THIS CUT DOWN ANYTHING?!"  
"Uh, did you seriously think they'll just give you something that powerful early, Weiss?"  
"IT'S A MATTER MANIPULATOR. WHY CAN'T I CUT DOWN A TREE WITH IT?! HOW CAN RUBY DO IT SO QUICKLY?!"

"...you're gonna need a pickaxe and an axe..." Yang nodded.  
"Why do I need a primitive axe to cut down a tree? I have something that-"  
"Just go with it, Weiss! Go with it!"

"...this game... " Weiss tried to get the fact that a futuristic matter manipulating device couldn't even cut down a simple tree out of her mind as she, after several long moments, succeeded in felling the tree.

Yang giggled. "Alright, Weiss, now you can go make yourself a crafting table."  
"Okay...wait, hang on, are we making a base or going on ships?"  
"Well...I think we should be able to do it on our ships..."  
"Aren't they a bit small?"  
"Oh, don't worry, I installed a mod so you can customise the ship." Yang shrugged. "I think of everything~"

"Weiss, right, we're going to go get some meat for food, yeah?" Milly nodded and Weiss nodded. "Okay..." The pair beamed down to the planet, going hunting; Milly drew her bow and Weiss her broken sword, as the pair searched for a suitable animal to kill. They eventually stumbled across one that wasn't trying to already kill them, a creature that appeared to be a moving shag carpet with yellow horns.

"Steady does it...these things don't normally attack people..."

"Uhuh..." Weiss approached the creature carefully, before slashing it with her sword. The creature then pounced at her, smashing her into a wall and...

"TEN HEALTH PER ATTACK?!"  
"Oh crap! Weiss! Don't worry, I've got you!" Milly peppered the animal with arrows; or tried, as she seemed to be missing a fair bit.

"A LITTLE HELP!"  
"I'm trying!"

"I'm on ten health! How is this possible?! Isn't this the easy sector, Yang?!"  
"It is."

"Then why am I dying?!" On screen, Weiss' character died, signified by the character disappearing in a flicker of blue orbs. "...this sword is useless!"  
"And this, Weiss, is why you never hunt without a bow early game."  
"D-dammit Yang! Y-you could've said something!"

"Oopsie~"

* * *

Finally, after much insanity involving Weiss trying to figure out the game; including many deaths from monsters, much to the consternation of Weiss, Ruby and Jaune, and the amusement of Yang- "DAMMIT YANG HOW DID THAT THING'S BLOWING BUBBLES KILL ME SO QUICKLY?!" "AND WHY THE HELL IS MY SHIP DRAININ- I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS THAT EASY TO MINE OUT MY SPACESHIP FLOOR!"- Weiss had finally managed to acquire some decent Avali armor, and the party was ready to engage the first boss.

Pyrrha and Ruby stood at the distress beacon meant to summon the first boss, a penguin in an UFO by the name of Dreadwing. Milly and Weiss walked to the area; Jaune was setting up several traps for the boss. Yang descended from the nearby hill, a newly found shotgun in hand.

"Right, guys, are we ready?"  
"Weiss, you're new to the game, so stay back and let the experts handle it, kay?" Yang said, winking.

"S-shut up! I'm good at this!"  
Milly snorted. "Y-yeah. You kinda ran into an Apex complex and got shot about a hundred times, while we told you NOT to."

"Pfft." Weiss snorted right back. "I'm not so easy to discourage. And that was ONCE, Milly! Once!"

"Right, ladies, let's not fight~" Yang chimed in. Jaune poked his head up from his laptop. "Everything all right?"  
"Uhuh." Pyrrha nodded. "Let's go. Ruby-chan?"

Ruby nodded and activated the beacon, where upon a very large UFO descended upon them. Weiss retreated, her bow at the ready, while the party jumped up and down slashing and smashing at it. Weiss decided that the best way of helping was to hail down arrows at it, before...

"WHY DO ARROWS TAKE UP SO MUCH ENERGY?!"  
"Weiss! We need you to keep firing!"  
"DAMMIT! I CAN'T! I'M OUT OF ENERGY AND I CAN'T KEEP THIS UP- SCREW IT!" Weiss jumped into battle, as the boss slammed into the group, doing a fair bit of damage. She was on full health, surely she could-

And the death animation played as Dreadwing smashed into her.

"WHAT?!" Weiss stared in disbelief at the screen. "HOW?! YANG?!"  
"Don't look at me!" Yang looked offended.

"...how many more shenanigans do I have to put up with..." Weiss sighed irritably.

* * *

The boss was eventually defeated, but not before Weiss proceeded to die another five times instantly from the smashing attack.

Eventually, the party managed, with much difficulty- of course, in typical fashion, they'd forgotten to mine enough iron to craft the stations needed for them to move on- to move to the next sector. Weiss was anxious to see what more could go wrong.

"Right, so...Yang...neglected to tell me...that the ship's oxygen levels could go down and kill me if I tried to modify it, that monsters hurt a lot when they attack you...what next?"  
"Sorry!" Yang looked offended. "It's not like I MEANT to! Or did I~"

"...i-idiot..."

"Uh, guys. Who's 'AvengingAvenger'?" Jaune inquired.

"Uh..." The brawler scratched her head. "Who IS it?"  
"Don't look at me," Ruby shrugged. ",and I can see Pyrrha's computer. It isn't her."  
"I'm still playing an absurdly dapper loli!"  
"I'm not going to make another character to do that, Yang." Weiss responded. "I'll check who it is."

She initiated a chat with the unknown player...

Lord Fluffy The Terrible: Hello, who is this?

AvengingAvenger: where are you guys

Lord Fluffy The Terrible: Who is this?  
AvengingAvenger: ...beta thalia iv, and...weiss?  
Lord Fluffy The Terrible: ...who is this?!

AvengingAvenger: ...

"Uh...I don't know...and they know where we are."  
"Crap!" Ruby scrambled around her inventory for fuel. "Have we got any?"  
"Not one bit of coal."  
"Nope." "Nada."  
"Dammit!" Yang cried. "Well...guys...I think we should split up."  
"What? Why?"  
"If they're hostile...then they'll be-"

"Wait...HOLY DUSTING DUST GODS!" Milly shouted. "They've got final tier armor! A-and...he just one-shot killed me." She sighed.

Jaune rushed towards them, sword raised, only to suffer the same fate. "Dammit! What IS that shotgun?!"

"I guess the only thing we can do is run..." Pyrrha, Ruby, Weiss and Yang made for the hills, just as AvengingAvenger found their old base; nothing much but a small house with a Metalwork Station and a Crafting Table.

* * *

Later...

Pyrrha had no luck, and neither did Ruby; the mystery user found Pyrrha hiding out in a Glitch town and killed her, and then she'd, through unknown means, somehow launched Ruby off a cliff.

Eventually, only Yang and Weiss remained alive- the rest of them stayed on their ships to make sure none of them were killed again.

"Okay, Weiss, stick with me." Yang drew a shotgun of her own. "I'll try to kill him, while you get back to everyone's ships and get them the coal we mined just now, right?"

"Yeah, okay..." Weiss beamed up, leaving Yang alone on the planet with the mystery playerkilling user. AvengingAvenger rounded the hilltop, aiming at the brawler, who hopped out of the way of the shots.

"Come at me!" She leapt around, trying to shoot the user; it was no use, as apparently they took no damage. Eventually, however, one stray shower later and Yang respawned on her ship, irritated.

"How?!"  
"I know, right? It's like they're invincible!" Ruby looked worried.

Weiss beamed down onto the planet, looking for them. "Wait...I think I know who it is..."

"You do?"  
"...it's got to be Velvet."

"How do you know?"  
"Think abou-"The mystery user took off their helmet...revealing a bunny hood and brown hair. As expected, it was probably Velvet.

'omd weiss-sempai your all mine now everyones gone now we can play alone together' She typed. Weiss responded as calmly as she possibly could in this situation.

'What?! No! Are you crazy! I'm out! Screw Starbound! Seriously, monsters oneshot me, my mining tools don't work as well, and then you come on and do this? Nope!'

-Lord Fluffy The Terrible has left-

"Weiss!"  
"Screw it. I'm going to go read some more Persona fanfic."

* * *

Velvet frowned.

"Awwww...Weiss-sempai won't play Starbound with me..." She pouted. "I'll just have to stalk her onto EVERY SINGLE GAME SHE PLAYS NOW~" She giggled.

"Weissy-chan, Weissy-chan, oh, my Weissy-chan~"

* * *

"That was absolute shenanigans." Weiss sighed. "Seriously, Yang, why?!"  
"I didn't do anything, Weiss. You, uh, just kinda suck~"  
"What?! I had everything going perfectly well! I can play these kinds of games!"  
"Perhaps a more linear game is more your speed..."  
"Ugh..." Weiss sighed. "Maybe you're right, for once, you dunce. Just...ugh, I hate it when you're right! I-idiot! L-leave me alone!" The heiress, flustered and unable to disprove Yang, decided to go browse fanfic. Yang walked outside, and when Weiss was out of earshot, she started laughing.

"Ah, Yang, you sneaky, sneaky girl~ If only she knew I RIGGED everything on that server against her...~" She chuckled deviously.

"Ren-sensei, I hope you're proud of my trolling ways~" She smirked. "Now...to plan my next antic...I'm going to need a lot more than just some subtle rigging..."

She smirked. For now, Weiss could have her games. She had far more antics to plan.

After all, Velvet was trying to split Weiss apart from Ruby and Jaune, a threesome she wanted to hold together.

And what better way to counteract her antics than...make her own?

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: So, there you have it, kids, Weiss tries to play Starbound with the Master of Antics herself and while Velvet-chan is stalking her. Excellent, Weiss. Excellent. The next game chapter will be...Weiss Reacts to League of Legends! Woo! Yeah!**

**Well, kids, good news! Next chapter shall feature Pyrrha(c) Victory by The Rogue King! Stay tuned for more- oh, wait, that's not all, thanks to the brilliant Half-Blind Otaku, we'll also be featuring For Every Occasion, by guess who! Thanks for volunteering it!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your thoughts, reviews, criticisms, suggestions, and ideas, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	32. Special Chapter 11: Pyrrha(c) Victory!

**Weiss Reacts to Pyrrha(c) Victory!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, once again, to Weiss Reacts! This time, we'll be featuring Pyrrha(c) Victory by The Rogue King! Now with 100% more Pyrrha-chan being deliciously clingy! And loveable tsundere heiress Weiss-chan being increasingly in denial! And random Melanie!**

**Before I go on, I have to set some rules here. I will not be taking any RvB-related suggestions for reactions. I apologise, but I personally feel that as I have no interest in RvB I wouldn't be doing it justice to feature it and therefore any such reaction chapters would not be up to my standards. So, sorry guys, I'm not the right author for RvB reactions... :c**

**Also, I've confirmed the next couple of chapters; Pyrrha Reacts to Here by the Altar and Weiss Reacts to For Every Occasion by Half-Blind Otaku and RWBY Kid AU: Semblance by Ziirroh! Thanks guys for letting me feature your stories, all of you, you're all awesome! Go read those instead, by the way, they're far more interesting and well written.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Pyrrha would be a shrinking violet (more than she already is, at any rate, I mean, DAMN SHE'S MOE)**

* * *

"Pfft. Can you believe that guy?" Weiss chuckled; yet another potential suitor was turned down by Pyrrha. This time, it was Sky, from Cardin's team trying to get her to go out with him- Pyrrha had softly declined, much to his disappointment.

"Yeah..." The red-haired girl shrugged- of course she'd turn down anyone who tried to ask her out. Jaune-kun was the only one for her- the only one indeed.

Melanie, who'd decided to accompany them after Milly had decided to go with Yang and Ren to watch the Pentakill concert- "Good riddance," Weiss had said when she heard Yang wouldn't be around for the day- shrugged. "Um...what ARE we doing anyway?"

"We're looking up good fanfiction to read." Pyrrha responded. "Weiss suggested it."

"Hm...I'd avoid anything that looks like a lemon..."

"Weiss, we aren't three years old." Melanie frowned.

"Yeah, but most of them are terrible anyway. Seriously, the analogies..." The heiress shuddered at the thought of reading some of the lemons she encountered; to say they were utterly un-erotic would be an understatement.

"Hm." Pyrrha nodded. "Right, what's this?"

"Huh?" Weiss and Melanie peered into the screen. "Pyrrha(c) victory...hm..."

"Terrible pun." Weiss remarked. "Absolutely terrible."

"Indeed, wouldn't it be a bad thing to have a pyrrhic victory?" Melanie added, while Pyrrha noticed something; the fic shipped her and Jaune together.

'_I see...so these writers want me to end up with Jaune-kun...hm. I wonder if I could take pointers from this-' _

Pyrrha's thoughts were interrupted by Weiss speaking. "Hey, Pyrrha, let's not read this fic-"

The red-haired girl cut her off. "I say read it."

"What?" Weiss tilted her head. "Why? I already don't like the look of it."

"T-trust me...It'll be good. I promise."

"Eh." Melanie shrugged. "If she wants to read it, let her read it."  
"Fine. Open it up, Pyrrha. I hope it isn't one of those horrid shipping fics where people get killed off or derailed for the sake of shipping something..." Weiss shuddered.

"I know, right?" Melanie nodded. "I once read this fic where Lilly was an utter bitch to Hisao and stuff!"  
"What is with you and Katawa Shoujo?"

Pyrrha, meanwhile, began reading carefully, hoping to t.

'_I must see what my fictional self does. It may be of assistance in my mission to win the love of Jaune-kun...although, being a story, I doubt it will. I'll read it anyway; after all, spending so long in the Fate stay/night fandom is not conducive to seeing what others like to write about us. This'll be interesting.'_

* * *

"Jaune gets laughed at by girls?" Melanie tilted her head. "Well, I'd laugh at him...but only because he's soooo adorkable~ I'd want a boyfriend like him, and I think half of Beacon would." That last statement caused both Weiss and Pyrrha to snap their heads towards her.

"H-hmph. Jaune, impressing a girl? I-I doubt it." Weiss folded her arms. "H-he couldn't impress a fly." She blushed slightly.

Pyrrha shook her head. "He seems alright to me."

"He's a goofy dunce who stumbles on his own feet." The heiress shook her head. "H-he isn't adorable a-at all!"

"Riiiiight." Melanie nodded.

"S-shut up!"

"A boy who's nothing like the arrogant and stupid jocks trying to win me over usually? I'd say Jaune is more adorable than anyone here." Pyrrha noted.

"You forgot, oh, I dunno, Ren and Cardin." Weiss responded.  
"Didn't Cardin use to be a jock?" Melanie chimed in.

"I heard he has his eye on someone..." Pyrrha left out that she also knew Cardin had his eye on Melanie, of all people- the boy's crush on her was more visible than Velvet's yandere tendencies. "And anyway, Ren's taken, so Jaune is the only one I'd be willing to date."

"Hmph. H-he'd probably screw up or something. I-it's Jaune. I'm sure of it!"

"Well, Yang is Yang, as usual. The dunce," Weiss shook her head. "Why does she have to point out such things? Does she not know it's embarrassing?"  
"Y-yeah...sure..." Pyrrha nodded slowly.

"I mean, you like Jaune-"  
"D-don't say it so loud!" The red-haired girl blushed, raising her voice at Weiss. "I-I mean...he's likeable, but...I d-don't necessarily have a crush on him..."

"Heh." Melanie smirked. Weiss shrugged and returned to reading the chapter.

'_Pyrrha is definitely in love with him.' _Weiss thought to herself, while Pyrrha thought to herself the opposite. '_Weiss is so tsundere for him...'_

'_Could I write an Archie parody using Jaune, Weiss and Pyrrha?' _Melanie thought to herself meanwhile.

"M-me? Use training to grope J-Jaune? No way." Pyrrha squeaked out, before clearing her throat. "T-that would be unprofessional." '_I-I may have f-felt up his backside a couple of times, b-but...I-I'd never do such an indecent thing to Jaune-kun!'_  
"That sounds more like Yang..." Weiss nodded, before adopting an approximation of Yang's voice. "Oh, J-Jaune-chan...g-grab me there...y-you need to l-lower y-your hand t-there!" Melanie giggled, before responding. "Weiss, I think you're getting a too little into it..."  
"Nonsense." Weiss shook her head. "Me? Make an inappropriate joke like that? 'Reverse cowgirl', seriously? I am NOTHING like that."

Pyrrha began to speak. "You just made a joke like t-"  
"Shut up."

* * *

"Okay, that is simply indecent. I would NEVER peer at Jaune's body in the shower. No matter how muscular he seems to be." Pyrrha shook her head. "I agree wholeheartedly!" Weiss assented.

Melanie, meanwhile, hid a smile and tried to suppress a chuckle.

"What's so funny?"  
"You're both so in denial about Jaune...it's cute..."

"I am NOT in denial about t-that idiot!"  
"I have already accepted that I may have a mild attraction towards Jaune." Pyrrha nodded. "But I am not actively considering him as a romantic partner and I certainly would not stoop to such low depths to do that." Indeed, Pyrrha wouldn't. No, she simply borrowed one of Yang's button cameras and installed that in the shower.

* * *

Yang smirked, looking through the various pictures she'd leeched off of the button camera she'd loaned to Pyrrha. Specifically, of Jaune's delicious abs-

"Uh, Yang?" Ren poked her. "Weren't we going to go get an autograph from Karth-"  
"Oh, uh, yeah!" Yang shoved the phone into her pocket. Milly chimed in. "What were you looking at? That looked like Jau-"  
"Oh, just some pictures of Jaune's abs." Yang said utterly seriously and in a deadpan manner. Milly looked at her incredulously before laughing. "Hehehe, you're funny."

Ren winked at Yang, and the brawler returned the wink.

* * *

"And how can he be so dense as to not get the meaning of that? The Jaune I know would probably back down from that. N-not that he'd ever get a chance to, anyway. Stupid idiot."

"You would think that, flirting with so many girls..." Pyrrha cringed slightly. "...that he would get the hints they give out. Especially the many, many, MANY hints they give him."

"Sometimes, boys are just oblivious..." Melanie chuckled.

"As are girls, apparently." Weiss retorted.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Meanwhile , Pyrrha kept reading. "I doubt that Yang would REALLY strip me, in public."

"She's Yang. I'd be more surprised if she didn't."

* * *

Pyrrha did a double take at looking at the measures that Yang and Blake had done to get Jaune to notice her. "Okay, that is too far. I would NEVER allow those two to shove me into a swimsuit for the sake of getting Jaune to notice me."

"Yeah, I mean, your normal combat outfit looks good enough, and I hear he's into zettai ryouiki, so your uniform's enough for him..." Melanie noted. "Besides, you look curvy in that..." Pyrrha blushed, with a hushed "S-stop!".

"What's Jaune into?"

"He's got a fetish for legs and high stockings and skirts or something." Melanie shrugged. "I dunno."

"Wait, zettai ryouiki? Isn't that from that robot show, Neon something?" Weiss responded.

Meanwhile, both girls looked at their long, slender legs, bare of any socks or hotpants.

'_Perhaps I should requisition some long socks...'_ Pyrrha thought to herself.

'_Hmph. I wouldn't even consider stooping THAT low...f-for that idiot Jaune...hmph.'_ Weiss mentally noted, while also planning to buy some long socks herself...for Pyrrha, of course. She didn't want to attract that idiot's attention.

Oblivious to both girls, Melanie continued reading. "Well, it seems Penny beat you both to Jaune."  
"What?!" Pyrrha shoved her aside, reading the end of that chapter, her eyes widening. "F-flip to the next one!"

"Hmph. I doubt Penny would be interested in a dunce like him anyway." Weiss folded her arms, as she read the chapter herself.

Pyrrha's eyelid twitched. "S-seven kids..."

"...wait, so this writer ships a Murakamo unit with Jaune?"  
"What in the name of the moon is a Murakamo unit?!"  
"Go play some fighting games, Weiss!"  
"...s-seven kids..." Pyrrha twitched. '_Of course seven kids would be preposterous. There would be eight. I would enjoy myself each time, of course- he is the one for me. After all, Jaune-kun and I would make the perfect parents.' _Smiling to herself, the red-haired girl resumed reading the fanfic.

"Of course, as per usual, Jaune is completely unaware. Idiot."  
"Seriously, I all but confessed I loved him!" Pyrrha looked shocked at how oblivious Jaune was being. "H-how can someone not get a hint THAT obvious?!" Weiss agreed.

"I can see why Yang likes comparing him to Tamaki..."  
"STOP WITH YOUR REFERENCES TO ANIME! I GOT THAT ONE, BUT PLEASE, THERE IS NO WAY PYRRHA ACTS LIKE HARUHI!" Weiss shrieked, to which Melanie responded by laughing. Twitching, the heiress shook her head. "You're worse than Yang..."

Melanie, still laughing, turned to Pyrrha. "Well, at least it wouldn't be HARD for you to pretend you like Jaune!"  
"I assure you, I do not have a crush on Mister Arc."  
"Oh, so he's Mister Arc now, huh? What are you, Missus Arc?"

Weiss decided to play her trump card- she was getting irritated with Melanie's constant ship teasing. "Shut up. Besides, Melanie, I'm not the one who ships themself with Hisao." Melanie stopped.

"...touché, Schnee. And dammit, did my sister blab about those?"

"Yep."

"...I swear, these people keep portraying Cardin as a bully." Weiss sighed. "Okay, he used to be a jerk at the beginning of his stay here, but seriously, he's about as harmless as Ruby on a cookie high!"  
"True, that. I doubt the Cardin of today would even think of insulting Velvet. It helps that he has a far more sensitive side than he used to."

"I mean, he's pretty nice and adorable, if a bit crude and gruff, as long as you don't insult his mother..." Melanie chimed in. "Of course, it helps that Cardin wouldn't want to have his head chopped off. I mean, have you SEEN her axe?! I swear..."

Weiss nodded. "How does she lift that? That looked bigger than Ruby's scythe, for Dust's sake!"

While the pair continued discussing various theories to how Velvet could lift her infamously large, serrated and heavy axe, Pyrrha continued reading. Smirking she noted down her fictional counterpart's actions in the story.

'_Yang and Blake might be able to assist me in reality...after all, they are reputed to be the masters of trickery around here. Ren as well._

_Or, considering that Nora would probably try to break their kness, probably not.'_

Weiss flipped to the next chapter, reading through it. "The insanity Yang and Blake get up to...and seriously, did they strip you in the middle of school?"

"Knowing the two, it was probably Yang's idea." Pyrrha added.

"Yang is such a deviant..."

Melanie giggled, while Pyrrha sighed. "Well, at least her methods work."

"Hmph." The white-haired girl slowly nodded. "As much as I hate to admit it, she works well and efficiently when pulling off her antics. Hmph. Don't you dare tell her I said that, though, she'd never let it go."

'_Note to self; ask Ren to rig my school clothes to break apart.' _Pyrrha mentally recorded.

* * *

"Of COURSE Nora would break the facade." Weiss sighed. "Of course Nora would."

"I thought it'd be Yang-" Melanie started, only to be interrupted by Weiss.

"Nah, Yang's the kind who likes to stick with her ships to the end." The heiress nodded. "The amount of fanfics she's written shipping Minato and Yukari is stupid..."  
"Not really."Pyrrha noted. "I've read some of those. They're pretty decent."

"Still, how can one be dedicated to the things they ship that much?"  
"Well, i-it works out here, after all. Yang is working in favour of a good ship."

"Y-yeah." Weiss snorted. "Of course you'd want to be shipped with Jaune."

"Something tells me Yang would be trying her antics in reality, simply to reinforce the pairings she'd want to be together. I wouldn't put it past her, either." Pyrrha noted, secretly hoping that Yang supported her interest in Jaune ; after all, the Queen of Antics could easily provide support well needed for the ship to sail.

Meanwhile, Weiss threw her hands up in the air. "Of COURSE Yang would come up with truth or dare and of COURSE, Penny decides to bring a LIE DETECTOR."

"A bit ironic, don't you think?" Melanie smirked.

Pyrrha shrugged. "I dunno about you, I think it's a nice touch."

"And OF COURSE YANG ASKS ME ABOUT MY SEXUAL FANTASIES. I DON'T HAVE ANY. DUST DAMMIT." Weiss blushed profusely.

"Says the girl who came up with-"  
"Put a sock in it, Melanie."

"I wonder if Jaune would really say I was the most attractive in the room..." Pyrrha muttered idly.  
"I-I would hope so." Weiss responded. After all, she had no interest whatsoever in the dunce. He and Ruby were all the same; idiotic, moronic, cretinous dunces that-

"Uhuh. Well." Melanie sighed. "At least someone gets Yang back for all her antics."  
"DO THEY?! WHERE?!" The heiress eagerly searched the chapter for the prankster's comeuppance, and finding it in her dare; being forced to flirt with Professor Port. "Hmph. Rewarded as a prankster deserves. We should try this in real life."

"I don't think you'd like it, Weiss. I mean, it DOES say you blushed at the thought of Ruby having a crush on-"  
"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! I DO NOT LIKE HER AND I DON'T FIND HER CUTE AT ALL!"

"Whoa, Weiss." Melanie held back giggles. "We didn't even say anything."  
"Wuh...buh..." Weiss blushed immensely, turning away. Pyrrha continued reading. A small smirk appeared on her face as she saw the next dare was to get a kiss from Jaune.

'_One day, I won't need a dare to do that. For now, though, with all these similarly attractive girls, I will need to plan something that will win Jaune-kun forever..._

_For now, though, this will do.'_

"And of course this peasant decides the next chapter will be a double date! What, me with Ruby? I doubt that's realistic! No way! No! Not with an idiot like her!" Weiss shook her head and proceeded to spout more refusals and denial, while Melanie and even Pyrrha started laughing.

"S-shut up! Why is this so funny?!"  
"Well, you seem to be denying something that hasn't even been said yet."  
"...I hate you two. Just read the stupid fic."

Indeed, they did read the stupid fic, with many a comment to be heard.

* * *

"I knew it. He DID ship me with Ruby."

"Oh, get off it, Weiss. We know you love her."  
"Yeah, sure I do. Go back to writing self inserts with Hisao or something."

"Weiss, Melanie, I'm trying to read here!"

"N-not my fault the author's an i-idiot! S-shipping me with Ruby...i-it's not like I like her, o-or anything!"

"Weiss and Ruby, sittin' on a tree, K-I-S- OW!"

"You deserved that slap."

* * *

"Of COURSE we'd end up being stuck in a cave together!"  
"I wouldn't mind that-"  
"Besides, then both of you could go snuggle up to Jaune while naked."

"SHUT UP!"  
"W-what?! No! I-I'd never treat J-Jaune-kun like that!"  
"Oh, so he's Jaune-kun now?"

"You're worse than YANG, Melanie..."

"Hey, not the one who WROTE the story!"

* * *

"Ren, as per usual, is an absolute troll."

"I don't think he was trolling this time, Weiss..."  
"But you have to admit that if this was real, Ren would do that simply to troll Jaune."  
"Agreed."

"I do not believe I would be so persistent in chasing down Jaune for a talk. After all, eventually he would have to speak to me."

"Wise choice, Pyrrha."  
"Really good idea! Wait for the prey to tire itself out! You think like a real Huntress!"  
"...okay, that analogy went somewhere bad, Melanie."

* * *

"I don't REALLY think Blake would stoop so low to get Sun jealous..."  
"Agreed. And a jealous Velvet? That's not too hard to imagine..."  
"I think you meant not too hard to not imagine, considering that's about half her state of existence."

"Still...it isn't really Blake-like to do that. Blake would probably, slowly, over a course of a week, make Sun PAY for doing what he did..."

"Probably enlisting our resident antic-masters to do so."  
"I'd do that! Mils would probably help as well!"

"...that's...not a good thing, Melanie."

* * *

"Ah, so here we meet his parents."  
"I remember the time his actual parents went here after Ozpin found out he faked his records..."

"Didn't his dad look like Kamina?"  
"I see where he gets his body from, anyhow, considering the man went around wearing nothing but a cloak on his torso."

"He was so hot-blooded, I swear I heard his shouting from down the hall from Ozpin's office!"

* * *

"Pheromone Dust..."  
"DON'T EVEN MENTION THAT, I STILL HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN WHEN REN DOUSED ME WITH SOME! RUBY DIDN'T LEAVE ME ALONE THE ENTIRE NIGHT! N-NOT THAT THAT'S A BAD THING, AND NOT T-THAT I ENJOYED THAT!"

"Hm..."Pyrrha thought to herself. '_Perhaps I should see if Ren still has those jars of pheromone dust.'_

"And I would never succumb so quickly to that. I have a stronger will than that." She added.

"Not with Jaune-'kun' you don't."  
"Where would Glynda come in this, anyway?"  
"Apparently she bought some yandere summoning scroll or something from that company...Trope Co, I think it was called."

"Yandere summoning scroll?"  
"Far worse than pheromone dust."  
"Riiiight..."

* * *

"Why do these people insist on constantly depicting me as a damsel in distress? I am a TRAINED Huntress, for Dust's sake. And I WILL get Nora on the next person to do that."  
"Well, you're about as moe as Mikuru, you act so submissive, you're perfect damsel-"  
Melanie was silenced by two death glares; one from Weiss and the other from Pyrrha.

"S-sorry..."

"Hmph."

"The ending is cheesy...but I like it."

"I personally dislike it. N-not because I like Jaune, or a-anything. Also, what a horrible pun."

"You two are so funny to hang around..."

* * *

"Well that...was a thing." Weiss sighed as she finished reading the fic. Pyrrha looked refreshed and Melanie shrugged. "Well, that was a bit cliché...but when did clichés take away from excellent writing?"

Pyrrha nodded eagerly. "Indeed, I agree."  
Weiss shrugged. "I personally was put off by the ending. Jaune and Pyrrha, together? I mean, she did say she didn't like h-"  
The red-haired girl cut her off. "I-I personally believe that's realistic!"  
"H-hmph. I d-don't really care anyway. J-Jaune can date who he likes!" Weiss crossed her arms, glowering.

Melanie, giggling, turned to Pyrrha. "Since our tsundere friend is a bit flustered, should you leave a review or shall I?"  
"I'll do it." Pyrrha typed up one.

* * *

-From: **AftermansSpearmaiden**

Well done, realistic fanfic, a bit cliché, but overall, I can't fault you on much else.

-Pyrrha Nikos

PS: If you could write one for me, I'd like that. And this really is Pyrrha.

* * *

Satisifed, Pyrrha stood up and walked off, saying her farewells to Melanie and Weiss, saying she needed to go check on something.

When she was out of earshot, she started talking.

"So, Weiss really DOES like Jaune that way...and Yang will most likely attempt to get her, Jaune and Ruby together. Hm.

I may need to resort to some antics of my own...but, for now...Weiss can have her fantasies.

Jaune-kun will be mine in the end."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Now that that's over and done with, the next chapter shall be Pyrrha Reacts to Here By The Altar by Half-Blind Otaku! Woo! Yeah!**

**A shout out to The Rogue King, again, for letting me write about his fanfic! Go read that, by the way. It may be long finished, but it is STILL far better than this crappy fic.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your reviews, criticisms, suggestions, ideas, and thoughts, and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	33. Pyrrha Reacts to Here By the Altar!

**Pyrrha Reacts to Here by the Altar!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! This time, I'll be doing a little fun chapter from Pyrrha-chan's perspective! Woo! Yeah! Stuff! Woo! The fic we'll be doing today is 'Here By the Altar' by Half-Blind Otaku; good read his fics instead of this, by the way, this isn't as good. :P**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise every episode with Ruby and Yang in it would be glorious wars of sisterly rivalry.**

**Here By The Altar belongs to Half-Blind Otaku.**

* * *

Pyrrha woke with a start to the sound of shouting. Judging by the exasperated sound of one voice and the clearly female and cheery other voice, it was Ren and Nora.

"NORA WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO"

"Uh...I wanted to dress like-"  
"OKAY WHO TOLD YOU EUPHIE WAS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS?! WAIT...MILLY!"

"Uh...s-sorry Ren...I wanted some bacon..."

"AND WHY, JUST WHY DID...ohohohoho...it was Xiao Long...of course. Xiao Long set it all up. Nicely done, Xiao Long. I'm proud of you. And irritated that you changed my wallpaper to Saber."

"Uh...I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS AND I'LL BREAK HER KNEES IF YOU WANT"

"I don't ..."

Pyrrha sighed and stretched her arms, before rolling out of bed. "Those two are at it again...great." Sighing, she grabbed her jacket and sat down at the computer, booting it up and looking for her various sketches of Jaune; hidden in a padlocked compartment on her desk with a combination known to her and only her; to look at it. She'd done a sketch about them, with her as Eureka and Jaune as Renton in the Nirvash- she'd gotten the idea from Milly.

"Hm...where is it?" She rummaged around the desk for it, digging through the sketches she'd made; most of her Jaune sketches were gone.

"WHAT?! WHERE ARE THEY?!"

* * *

Yang smirked, grasping the sketches Pyrrha did of her and Jaune as various anime characters. Getting them was child's play; after all, if the combination was Jaune's birthday and the key to her compartment was hidden in the stuffing of a lion doll Cardin had made her on her desk, then it wouldn't be hard to open the compartment. The hardest bit was to find it, but she'd gotten Blake to make her x-ray goggles.

Silly Pyrrha hadn't even lined her compartment with lead. Silly, when she lived in the same dorm with the greatest prankster in all of Beacon.

At least, before Yang came around.

She giggled, flipping through the various sketches. "A worthy prize...but...I'm going to need a while to scan through 'em for blackmail material.

Although, seriously Pyrrha, Eureka? Pfft." She chuckled.

"I can do better drawings too. For now, though, blackmail material...antics inbound. Hm. How best to antic around with these...hm...maybe I'll even blackmail her into helping me against Velvet!

Haha, Yang, you're a genius!" Happy with her prize, the brawler went back to her dorm, whistling happily.

* * *

Pyrrha sighed. "Very well...I'll hunt those down later." Logging onto her Fanfiction account, she noticed several new private messages.

Firstly, someone called GreatMoonGuardian sent her a private message; judging by references to 'Arturia', it was probably intended for Jaune. It was something about being a beta for a fanfic the former was writing- "Who are Minato and Yukari and why would Jaune be shipping them?"-; Pyrrha forwarded it to Jaune, before checking the next couple of messages.

The second message was from some person called 'ElfCollaborator'. It was a request to get Weiss' profile name; she didn't know who this was, so she dismissed it as yet another complete weirdo, deleting the message.

The final message was from 'Little Sun Dragon-Sempai'; clearly Yang, with the header of 'MUST READ'. Amused, the spearmaiden read the message's text.

-From: **Little Sun Dragon-Sempai**

Ohai pyrrha you should totes read this rwby fic called 'here by the altar' you might like it its funny you should totes read it ;

Have a nice day!

Yang

"Here By The Altar? That sounds like an wedding fanfic..." Pyrrha scratched her head. "I wonder why she'd want me to read it?" Shrugging, she searched up the fic in question, before locating it, scratching her chin.

"...it's about Weiss? ...okay, that's kind of confusing...why Yang would want me to read a fanfic about Weiss, but if Yang wants me to, then..." Curious as to why Yang would suggest it, Pyrrha clicked on it, curious.

"Right, it's about Weiss' wedding day? Okay..." Pyrrha continued to read the fic, curious. "Wedding days...hm...I wonder what my wedding with Jaune will be like..." She wondered briefly about it; she'd probably hold it in a huge cathedral, with all her family and Jaune's in attendance, maybe a huge reception party, and certainly one of the grandest ever held in Beacon.

Sighing, she continued reading.

* * *

"...so Weiss is marrying Jaune..." Her hands tensed; she had yet to wrap her head around the fact that Weiss had an eye on him. Sighing, she shook her head. "Was this intended to make me feel jealous? Yang...I should have expected her to stoop so low. Her antics aren't as amusing as she assumes..." Sighing, she continued to read the fic.

"Of course, Jaune is as helpless as he normally is...oblivious, though, I don't think so, seeing he realised Weiss wanted him...why can't he realise I want him too?" She shook her head. "And Ozpin as the officiator? I personally wouldn't pick him...he's too crazy to do that...and I would never trust Nora and Ren like that. Knowing Ren's antics..." She shuddered. Pyrrha still remembered the time Ren had pranked her by changing her weapons for foam replicas- she'd been utterly trounced by Jaune in training and she STILL didn't know how Ren managed it without her noticing. He'd also done other antics, especially considering he was hanging out with Yang a lot more nowadays...

And Nora? Well, very simply, she was Nora. The flowers probably would have ended up being worn by her or scattered all over the place before the wedding.

"So...Weiss is enjoying her wedding day..." Pyrrha seemed a little tenser as she continued reading. She still didn't understand why Yang wanted her to read this, but if it was to irritate her, she'd completed her mission. The spearmaiden shook her head, making sure to mark down Yang as her first target for antics- the trickster deserved it.

"Hmph. I will show her what happens when you irritate me. I do not understand just why she'd stoop so low...actually..." Pyrrha stood up, wrapping her jacket around herself.

"I had better go...settle things with Yang." She grabbed her shield and spear, heading out.

* * *

Yang sat next to the sorbet machine on a bench, looking through the sketches she'd stolen from Pyrrha.

"Damn, Pyrrha...you have it hard for him...like, girl, daaaaamn." She giggled to herself; these sketches became less anime-related and more...steamy as she dug into the pile. To sum up the contents, less clothes and more skin were to be found the lower she dug into the pile of sketches; Yang even swore she saw Pyrrha cosplaying as a schoolgirl in one!

Who knew Pyrrha Nikos was this dirty?

"Yang."

'_Crap! It's Pyrrha! Uh...' _Yang quickly shoved the sketches into her bag and looked around, panicking. She found Pyrrha to her left; thankfully, she hadn't noticed the sketches. She sighed in relief, before nodding to her. "Yes-"

"I want you to explain yourself."

"Explain? What d'you mean, pumpkin?" Yang smirked.

"You know full well."  
"What-"  
"You know full well, Xiao Long. Explain."  
"Huh?" Yang scratched her head for a moment and studied Pyrrha's face; she looked completely and utterly serious, and seemed to emanate killing intent from her stare.

'_Oh Dust...I'm in trouble, aren't I? Shit, she found out about it! Hurry, Yang, think of something, think! Come on, Yang, think! Think! I know, I'll play dumb! Maybe she'll blame Ren! Good idea!' _

"Well, Xiao Long?"  
"Uh...can you explain what this-"  
"The fanfic about Weiss getting married to Jaune."

'_Oh. So it isn't that...thank Dust.' _"Oh!" Yang nodded. "That. Uh..."  
"If that was intended to make me feel jealous, then you failed and simultaneously stooped to a new low, Xiao Long. Your antics amused me," Pyrrha shook her head. ", but if this is your idea of an antic, then-"  
"What?! No! That wasn't what I wanted at all!" Yang shook her head and waved her arms around, panicked.

"Well, you achieved it. I d-"  
"Wait! Let me explain!" The brawler cried, and the spearmaiden sighed. "Fine. Explain."

"It's, uh, not meant to make you jealous! It's a fanfic shipping you AND Jaune!"

"Weiss was the one who got married."  
"No! Did you bother reading the fic?!"  
"..." Pyrrha stopped. She hadn't. Was there something she missed? So this WASN'T an antic on Yang's part? She mentally slapped herself; of course Yang wouldn't do that, it wasn't like her to stoop so low, and, of course, she blamed herself for jumping to conclusions and not reading the fic first. Pyrrha sighed. "I...apologise, Yang. I...got carried away."

"It's not a problem," Yang rubbed the back of her head nervously. ", but, next time, don't do what Weiss does and jump to conclusions, okay?"

"Uhuh..." Pyrrha sighed. "...shall I just read it?"  
"Yeah, sure, go ahead. Uh, I'll be right ba-"  
"No, Yang, stay with me. I want to make sure you're not lying."

'_Dammit.' _The brawler sat next to Pyrrha as she read the last few parts, squirming slightly. '_If she sees the sketches, I am SO screwed..."_

* * *

"Oh! So Weiss was the maid of honor!" Pyrrha nodded. "And I was the wife after all..."

"Yeah, okay, um..." Yang was starting to sweat. The sketches barely fit inside her small satchel and sooner or later, Pyrrha would notice.

This was, obviously, a bad thing.

"Hm...I would probably change a bit...hire a professional organist instead of Port...have a real officiator instead of Jaune...hm..." Pyrrha rubbed her chin. "...and Jaune-kun would probably be in a gown because he looks so adorable when dressed like a girl..."

Yang couldn't stand it. She needed to get out of here _now. _Looking around in desperation, she saw Ruby walking off in the opposite direction from Pyrrha. Seizing her opportunity, she turned back to Pyrrha, who was going on to how she planned to live with Jaune in a beachfront property and so forth.

"Oookay...uh...oh, look, Ruby's calling me! I'vegottagoseeyouaroundPyrrhauhbye!" Yang ran off in the opposite direction from Pyrrha, who hadn't noticed her leave as she went on her tangent. When out of earshot, Yang sighed to herself in relief.

"Dust...I think Velvet might have competition for the position of clingy girl! Oh well. Just another challenge for me and my antics to face..."

* * *

"...and of course Jaune-kun and I would have eight children. Patroklos, Achilles, Alexander, Medea, Hippolyta and Diana. Yes, eight children." Pyrrha nodded. "And this...fanfic...hm...it has some good ideas for my wedding day with Jaune. Yes, I'll probably be referring a lot to it when I plan it."

Nodding to herself, Pyrrha walked back to her dorm, thinking. "Of course, the issue might be with Weiss...as Jaune-kun seems to be interested in Weiss...and never noticing me..." She sighs. "Why does he have to be so oblivious? Is there something about tsunderes people love? Do I have to be tsundere to-" She stopped.

"Yes...I have the looks...the role...hm...perhaps I would need to become a tsundere to get him to notice me." She nodded. "Yes...t-that idiot w-would need to f-find me cute once I-I c-call him a baka!

This fanfic has indeed provoked some thought. I will need to thank the author, for doing so. After all, this might be useful for my later plans..." Pyrrha, grateful for the inspiration, left a review for the story.

How better to reward the person who jumpstarted her plan to get Jaune for herself?

* * *

From: **AftermansSpearmaiden**

I must...thank you, for your portrayal of myself and Jaune. I find it to be realistic and well done, and I hope to see more such fics from you. It has helped me greatly increase my thinking about getting Jaune-kun to notice me, and so, I have to thank you for that.

I hope you have a good day and thank you again.

-Pyrrha Nikos

* * *

Her review left there, Pyrrha turned to the study desk and stood up, strolling towards it. She rolled a large scroll of paper across the table, taking out a marker, and wrote 'Plans to get Jaune-kun to notice me', linking 'act like a tsundere' and 'find out what he likes' to it.

She smiled. "This will take a while indeed, but one day, I will have Jaune-kun to myself..."

* * *

Meanwhile, Yang sat in her dorm, watching Velvet run around her dorm clutching a Weiss plushie and Pyrrha plot her plan to pursue Jaune through the various button cameras she and Blake had placed in their dorms. She smirked.

"Oh, the battle's just begun, girls~ I want my one true threesome to happen, and if I have to use antics to make it so, then so be it.

Pyrrha may be the best Huntress in the year and Velvet may be the ultimate yandere, but I'm the Queen of Antics! So, let's do this!" With a mischievous glint in her eye, Yang began to plot her own antics to counter the other two players in the 'war'.

This would be an interesting next couple of weeks for everyone, to be sure.

* * *

**END  
**

* * *

**A/N: Short, fun chapter. Woo!**

**Next chapter will be For Every Occasion by Half-Blind Otaku! A shout out to you for letting me write about two of your fics, by the way! You're awesome! Woo!  
**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your reviews, ideas, suggestions, thoughts and criticisms, and I hope you have a good day! Until next time!**


End file.
